Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Hey all you people, won't you listen to me!

I'm starting a review of all SpongeBob SquarePants episodes, including the movies.

My review system:

9-10/10: An outstanding episode. If it was a grade, it would be an A.

7-8/10: An above average episode. If it was a grade, it would be a B.

5-6/10: An average episode. If it was a grade, it would be a C.

3-4/10: A below average episode. If it was a grade, it would be a D. This is for episodes that are bad, but are not deserved to rot in Tartarus like certain horrid episodes.

0-2/10: An abomination. These episodes are the worst of the worst. They deserve to receive a special punishment from Hades. In SpongeBob terms, I hope these episodes go to The Flying Dutchman to put in Davy Jones's locker. If it was a grade, it would be an E.

I'll begin tomorrow, when I can watch Help Wanted.

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Season: 1
Episode: Help Wanted
Writers: Stephen Hillenburg, Derek Drymon, and Tim Hill

The episode that started it all.

Let’s see if this episode is a great way to be introduced into our beloved aquatic world of SpongeBob. In this episode, SpongeBob, Patrick, Gary, Eugene, Squidward, and the French Narrator all make their debuts.

The episode begins with the French Narrator, based on real life oceanographer Jacques Cousteau, introducing the audience to Bikini Bottom and SpongeBob. I love the use of the French Narrator in episodes because it makes it seem as if SpongeBob is a documentary on sea life, instead of a cartoon.

I noticed while the French Narrator was talking that Squidward’s house originally had some bamboo-like poles in his backyard and SpongeBob’s house only has one window. It’s strange how the design of the houses and the Krusty Krab always change throughout the series. Maybe it has to do with them being destroyed all the time?

I also find it weird that they originally planned for SpongeBob’s bed to be on the right, instead of on the left. On the topic of SpongeBob’s room, is his home gym in his room or in a different part of his house?

I find it funny how it is difficult for SB (SpongeBob) to lift to stuffed animals. It’s a good visual joke, and it builds his character by showing he is generally portrayed as weak. I say generally because it really depends on the episode, as seen in the episode where SB becomes a life guard and lifts a whole boat to save Patrick in. It’s sorta like Patrick’s intelligence in that it’s always changing depending on the situation.

Even though this is technically Gary’s debut, he doesn’t get much screen time. So far all the audience knows about him is that he’s SpongeBob’s pet and the aquatic version of a cat. I like how the writers used the aquatic setting to create a pet though. I wonder if Nickelodeon wanted SpongeBob to have a pet, like they wanted him to be in a school?

Onward to the main part of the episode. SpongeBob finally leaves his house, chanting his catch phrase “I’m ready!” all the way to the Krusty Krab where he plans to apply for a job. While walking to the Krusty Krab, the audience is introduced to the one and only star of the show, Patrick, who we can assume is SpongeBob’s friend very easily. It’s a fun gag seeing him fall into his house.

I love how when SpongeBob falters in his confidence, Patrick is there to set him straight. It’s kind of weird seeing Patrick being the confidence builder friend, since he is portrayed as a hinderence to SB in multiple episodes. The pep talk that Pat gives SB is cool, as it isn’t too long and is kinda funny.

Next, Squidward is introduced. I love how they portray Squidward as the antagonist. You know he knows SB, but you don’t know how, so it seems as if he’s crushing a random sponge’s dreams. It makes you route for SB more. There are some funny gags such as SB tripping and SB believing Squid will vouch for him. It also makes sense how Mr. Krabs is so easy to believe Squid, even though in later episodes he’s like a father to SB. In this episode, he’s never met SB before, so he trusts Squidward’s bad attitude towards him. It’s not out of character for a employer to not hire someone based on the thoughts of his employees.

Mr. Krabs then tells SB to get a spatcha in which you can clearly tell he made up, so it’s funnier when SB comes back with the last one in stock. While SB is gone, a whole mob load of anchovies storm the Krusty Krab, causing havoc for Squidward and Mr. Keabs. I think this is great karma for them for not believing in SB.

SB does come back to save the day with his new spatula. He feeds all the anchovies and Mr. K gives him a job on the spot. The end of the episode provides us with a funny joke, seeing as even when Pat only orders one Krabby Patty, SB still makes a million of them.

I wonder what ever happened to this spatula? Later in the series, it is established that SB is extremely sentimental, so maybe he framed it or something as a keepsake. He didn’t want the monster Krabby Patty breaking his first Spatula.

I think this episode is a great way to start the series. It shows SpongeBob as a naive, weak fry cook, Patrick as his somewhat encouraging dimwitted friend, Squidward as the grouchy damper on SpongeBob’s parade, and Mr. Krabs as the cheap, fatherly figure. Even if he wasn’t a father figure to SB, he was shown as a fatherly figure/friend of Squidward. This episode combines story and jokes in a good way. Also, it wouldn’t have been as good if it tried to shoehorn more characters such as Sandy and Plankton in the first episode.

I give it a solid 7.5/10. Even though this may seem low, I see it as a solid B on the American school grading system. It’s a great episode, but certainly not the best of SpongeBob.

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Season: 1

Episode: Reef Blower

Writers: Stephen Hillenburg, Derek Drymon, and Tim Hill

Reef blowers, don't you love them? Well, certainly someone at Nickelodeon does. Multiple characters have used reef blowers over various episodes; this is the first time they are used. Obviously, if you didn't know already, they are essentially an aquatic version of leaf blowers, like how snails, worms, and boats are aquatic versions of cats, dogs, and cars, respectively. I'm going to note whenever the series uses this technique.

On to the epi- short. The short begins with Squidward coming outside to check on his yard; it looks great besides one stray seashell on the ground. It weird how SpongeBob doesn't use seashells more often, just a side note.

Squidward kicks the seashell into SpongeBob's yard and that's when you know karma is going to kick Squid in the butt.

Spongebob sees the seashell and goes to his garage to get his reef blower. Since we have seen multiple episodes of SB's house without a garage, plus some with one, it continues my thought that the buildings are always being destroyed and rebuilt off screen. That, or the animators have a shitty memory.

Anyways, when Squid sees SB with his reef blower, he plugs his something (he doesn't have ears) in a visual gag.

SB then shoots the shell, along with a bunch of sand, on top of an eating Squidward. SB comes over to help and even cleans his leaf and eyes. I thought the sand in the eyes looked kind of gross, but at least it isn't like post-movie SB. I'm definitely not a post-movie hater, but that is something that always bothered me, unlike STPs. STPs, or Squidward Torture Plots, don't really bother me since you're not really supposed to route for Squidward, unless it's like Squilliam Returns or something, which I do have a problem with them then.

Spongebob then sucks in the sand, but his blower breaks. In some funny vidual gags, he gets it too work again. He ends up drying up the ocean in the process, but at least his reef blower works right? I wish the animators keep with the logical way of thinking in that sea creatures need water to survive, unlike Pressure and the two movies.

SpongeBob dirties the entire city/town of Bikini Bottom, but his yard is fine so he doesn't give a fuck. The last scene shows the shell floating on top of Squidward, who has sand all over his yard.

I give this episode a 5.0/10. It's an average episode in my book. I give it points in the forced originality of having to be silent, but it loses points for not having enough visual humor and it's short length. I think they could've made something super cool with a long, funny, silent episode, but I guess this was kind of last minute since it was supposed to have sound. It's not really a bad episode, but honestly, if you had a conversation with anyone, even a longtime fan, they probably can't even remember this episode.

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Season: 1
Episode: Tea at the Treedome
Writers: Peter Burns, Mr. Lawrence, and Paul Tibbitt

Sandra Cheeks. I just love Sandy. I think she's the most well-rounded character in the show, even if she's sorta reduced to just science now. She's my second favorite character of Karen Plankton. Let's see how her introduction goes.

The episode begins with SB jellyfishing. This is the first time we learn that SB jellyfishes, so there's character building there. Once again, I like how the writers portrayed jellyfish as birds or butterflies. Does anyone want to petition to start calling catching butterflies to butterflying? When I typed butterflying out, it didn't say it wasn't a word so I got excited and looked it up. To split (a piece of meat) almost in two and spread it out flat. Not exactly what I was hoping for, but now I know how to confuse the hell out of someone when I'm cooking.

SB hears Sandy fighting with a giant clam and uses his trusty Field Guide book to determine Sandy is a land squirrel. As supposed to sea squirrels? What were the writers thinking? Maybe there's an underwater species of squirrels that have yet to make an appearance? Also, what is up with clams in Bikini Bottom. They have been portrayed as similar to a large, wild animal, sharks, fish, and birds. It doesn't make sense. In this appearance, the clam acts like a wild beast.

I like how SB believes he's rescuing Sandy but she's doing all the work. It's funny.

I just noticed how this episode mentions Karate. I never noticed that.

I love the contrasting differences between SpongeBob and Sandy. Besides the mutual love of karate, they really don't have a lot in common that I can think of by myself.

I also love how SB asks Patrick what air is. This earlier in the series you don't know just how dumb Patrick is yet, so it's interesting.

Patrick tells SB that Sandy's just talking fancy and when in doubt, pinky out.

SpongeBob visits Sandy and realizes that he can't breathe without water. Even though Sandy is super smart, I guess she isn't a specialist in sea life, or she's just trying to murder SpongeBob in this episode.

The birdbath scene is funny.

Patrick isn't out of line with not caring that SB is dying cause he honestly has no idea what's happening.

The I don't need part is extremely funny. The tension just makes it a whole lot better.

Patrick's breakdown is also funny. Sorry I'm just saying it's funny, but whatever way am I going to explain it.

The last scene with the tea is also funny.

I give this episode an 7.9/10. This episode has the very popular I don't need meme in it, so points there. I also give it points for character building and using a plot based on logic, but the comedy could be a little stronger in this episode.