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Vanessa has been taking orders, pulling pints, and helping with the general chaos at the Woolpack for a little over 6 months now - ever since Chas started taking fewer shifts behind the bar under Doctor’s orders to spend less time on her feet. And bless Ness for doing it too because Charity honestly doesn’t know what she’d have done without her. Except, she does know, and it probably would’ve ended in vicious bloodshed and Paddy’s early demise.
But she’s stepped up marvellously and it means that not only has Charity been able to spend time monitoring Noah a little more closely so he doesn’t stray too far into Joe’s clutches, but she’s been able to feel like a functional human again. Which for a while there, was not so present a feeling. Not to mention Marlon’s been loving not being dragged in to watch the bar constantly, which has the added bonus that he doesn’t mind getting called up for duty when Ness and Charity need a little adult’s night in.
The drawback - well not a drawback, really, just an unanticipated responsibility, the likes of which Charity would have detested as recently as a year ago - is that she’s been looking after Johnny a lot more lately. Rhona and Tracy help out when they can, but Tracy’s started working at the Women’s Support Centre in Skipdale, and Rhona is suffering a bit under the added workload without Vanessa around. That's all right though, because Johnny’s easy, really, and for whatever reason he actually seems to like Charity, so it’s not all bad. He likes Moses too, which is lucky since Ross is still adjusting post-rehab. All and all, Charity’s spending more time mothering than she has for much of her life. And this idea should scare her - usually does because there are so many ways it can go wrong - but it’s made easier now she has someone dependable to share the load with.
She doesn’t even mind that Vanessa’s been slowly moving more and more of her sunshine-hued possessions into Charity’s bedroom.
Although the fact that they haven’t really addressed the question of living situation might mean they’re just not ready to go there yet. She loves having her around more, but telling her to sell house, pack up, and move it all in to Charity’s comparatively small bedroom doesn’t really make sense just yet. Not with Chas holding out against Paddy’s open threat to start living together any day now.
And when she thinks about moving into Tug Ghyll, it just feels too settled. Add in some of the unhappy memories made there in the past plus the convenience of her current live/work place, and she's not sure what the ideal arrangement looks like.
So they haven’t talked about it. And won’t for the foreseeable. But a destructive part of her wants to push for the conversation just to see what Vanessa would say. Part of her wants to hear it confirmed what she may never stop believing: that all of it is too good to be true and as soon as it becomes too real, Vanessa will panic at the time she’s wasted and move on.
But that pessimism is a little easier to suppress these days, in no small part thanks to Vanessa herself. Charity’s never been with someone who felt full of light. That’s not to say Ness is perfect, or that she doesn’t have her dark days too - days where she catches a wrong angle in the mirror or she bursts into tears over broken eggs. Her mood was especially fragile in the wake of being suspended. But somehow, since she started tending bar, Vanessa has seemed to perk up, seemed to be more like herself. Still sunny with a chance of rain, but lighter.
——
Charity is waiting for her on the couch, lit by flickering candles and sipping a glass of wine. She thought about putting the telly on, but it’s late - very late - and she doesn’t want to wake the boys. Not to mention Chas will have her guts for garters if she’s woken abruptly.
She feels like she’s just about to doze off when she hears the door creak open behind her. Soon after, she feels fingers twirl into the ends of her hair, fiddling with the last bits of curl left in it after a long day.
“You didn’t have to wait up,” Vanessa says, her voice low. Charity’s head falls back against the couch so she can get a good (albeit upside-down) look at her. Vanessa’s hair is pulled back tight and her brow is tight too. “You had a long day.” Vanessa adds.
“As did you.” Charity says. “How was it tonight?”
Vanessa climbs over the back of the couch - eliciting a little eyeroll from Charity, even if she finds it honestly adorable when her girlfriend clambers over furniture like a small child - and plants herself at Charity’s side. She picks up the other wine glass from the table and takes a long sip. Charity is wide-eyed as she watches her gulp it back. “That kind of night, then?”
Vanessa licks her lips and nods. “Bob came in again. Late. Seemed fine at first but I lost track of him for maybe a half hour, and when I caught sight of him again he was absolutely legless! I thought we’d seen the worst after the wedding disaster, but he must have smuggled something in with him tonight.”
“Seems like someone should be intervention-ing him one of these days. What did you do?”
“I called Laurel. Like she asked. But she had a right time of it trying to convince him to go home. Course, when home is a hotel room where your kids aren’t, it lacks some lustre.”
Charity shakes her head and then takes a sip of wine. “Still can’t believe Brenda took the twins. Didn’t even think she really liked them.”
“Well it’s hard to argue he’s fit for them right now.” Vanessa mutters. She tops up their glasses from the bottle in the fridge and pauses on her way back to the couch. “What about you? You didn’t say how it was with the kids today.”
Charity smiles tightly. “Oh, the usual. Noah broodin’ cause I cut off his “big bro Joe” time and the other two running me ragged trying to grab every toy in sight.”
Vanessa tilts her head. “So just how much did you spend?”
Charity bites her lip. “Well. It’s my right to spoil ‘em, isn’t it?”
“Charity...” Vanessa says, warning in her voice.
“All right, fine! I spent more than we said - but I promise I’ll sort out the damage later. Besides, we’ve been having a good month round here, thanks to your cost savings suggestions and Marlon’s new menu. And who better to reap the spoils than our boys?”
Vanessa blinks. She looks... well Charity’s not sure what that look is. But it’s not contentment - so Charity feels a panicky heat rise in her cheeks.
“Look I’ll not apologize for-“
Vanessa shakes her head and Charity stops speaking. “No,” Vanessa says quietly. “It’s just, you said ‘our boys.’” And now there is contentment in her features, replacing the earlier shock.
And it’s Charity’s turn to pause. Because she did say it, didn’t she? Without realizing. Without any implication or fear of what it could mean. It’s odd.
Charity pulls a kind of “meh” face, as if it’s not all that surprising. “Well they are ours, y’know, collectively.”
Vanessa who’s been standing over her, beaming, finally sits back down next to her. She sets both of their wine glasses on the table (Charity is only a little affronted when hers is plucked from her hand) and then she turns so they’re face-to-face on the sofa. Her eyes still have the sleepy look of someone who’s been on their feet all day, but they’re bright too. She takes one of Charity’s hands in hers.
“I don’t think you know just how much it means to me to have someone who’s willing to share things with me.” Vanessa says, and when Charity opens her mouth to respond, Vanessa stops her with gesture. “I’ve had people that helped me, sure. I probably wouldn’t have made it those first few years with Johnny without help. But I’ve never had a consistent partner in everything. And if you’d told me back then that Charity Dingle would be the woman of my dreams,”
“And nightmares,” Charity adds.
“I’d have thought you were off your head. But besides just making me feel loved, you’ve made me feel supported. Like I have a person.”
“Helps you started dating age appropriately.” Charity says, grinning.
Vanessa bats at her arm but can’t stop herself from laughing. “Shut up! You can’t let me be serious for a second.”
“You were serious! For several, agonizing seconds, thank you very much. You know how comfortable I am with soppy.” Charity groans. “But if I’m supportive, it’s cause you return the favour, isn’t it? So thanks for that, I guess.”
Charity pulls Vanessa into her arms to lie against her. Instantly she feels her go boneless and she chuckles. “Someone a bit tired?”
“Yes. Probably shouldn’t fall asleep on the couch, though. Given what happened to my back last time.” Vanessa sighs.
“That wasn’t the reason you threw your back out, rocket woman. Granted, we maybe shouldn’t have done that on the couch either.” Charity says, recalling one quiet afternoon they’d had the house to themselves - mostly. Until a near-catastrophic impromptu Paddy visit had caused Vanessa to roll right off onto the floor. After Paddy had the good sense to make a quick exit, Vanessa hadn’t been able to move much farther than the couch to lie down. So she’d slept there that night. Charity feels warm at the memory. She also feels Vanessa’s breath evening out against her collarbone and gives her a little shake. “Oy, upstairs with you. Sleepy little sprout.”
Vanessa groans in protest but drags herself from Charity’s arms. She starts to follow orders, Charity not far behind, and then stops in her tracks.
She groans. “I was going to double-check everything’s locked up. I almost forgot.” Vanessa’s head lolls back in disappointment before Charity grabs her shoulders and turns her back around in the direction of the stairs.
“Go to bed. I’ll make sure everything’s shut tight.”
Vanessa hums. “God, I love you.”
And Charity beams in spite of herself. It’s not the first time she’s heard those words but every time Vanessa says it, it still gives her a strange little thrill. She can’t stand the idea of going without it. Hopes she never has to, honestly, as unfamiliar and scary as it is to want something proper lasting again.
“Love you too, babe. See you up there.”
“Give me a cuddle when you do?”
“Oh fine,” Charity says with a dramatic sigh she doesn’t mean a bit. "If I have to."