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Kun sits alone. The hospital is busy, it’s always busy, but it’s quiet enough that he can hear the buzzing of the lights above him, only slightly louder than the noise going on inside his head.
It had been a normal practice. It was late, but not late enough to consider stopping, and the practice room mirror was fogging up from the body heat that had built up after hours of dancing. One moment they had been running the choreo, “just a few more times” Taeyong had promised, and the next moment Lucas had fainted, long limbs splayed slightly, if they hadn’t known any better it might have seemed like he was resting peacefully.
For a moment there was chaos, then Taeil was instructing Johnny to call their manager, while Kun, who was the closest to Lucas at the time, knelt by Lucas’s side, softly calling his name while he swept his sweat soaked hair off of his forehead.
When they’d arrived at the hospital, Lucas had been awake, but a little shaky. When they lead him to an examination room to be checked out, he’d looks at Kun with pleading eyes, but the doctor insists that only one person can go with him, and their manager had to report back to the company as soon as possible.
So Kun is left alone to stare with unforced eyes at the off colored hospital walls, mind racing with worst case-scenarios. As soon as their manager comes back out Kun jumps to his feet, expression mostly blank , but eyes worried. Their manager tells him that he can see Lucas now, and on their way to the room he explains what happened. It was the usual, "Exhaustion, slightly malnourished", and at those words Kun's expression turns stormy. He should have done something. Anything.
He should have noticed.
He's entering the room just as the doctor is leaving, exchanging slight bows. Their manager leans up against the outside of the door, making it clear that he's not going back in, and Kun is grateful for the privacy.
When he steps into the room, Kun has to brace himself, but the sight he's met with is an unalarming one. Lucas sitting up, in his own clothes, with his legs dangling off the side. His head is bowed and his hair is hiding his expression.
"Xuxi" Kun calls softly, and the other boys head snaps up. As soon as their eyes meet, Lucas' are welling up with tears.
"Gē" is all he gets out before the tears start to overflow. Kun quickly rushes over to Lucas' side, embracing him. Lucas is bigger than him, but when he curls into his side and wraps both arms around his waist, Kun can cradle him close.
Kun rocks Lucas slightly, making soothing noises and dropping kisses on the top of his head, trying his best to comfort him, and wondering what brought on the tears
The crying doesn't last for long, thankfully, and soon Lucas is just occasionally sniffling, not giving any indication that he wants to move from Kun's arms. Kun jostles him slightly, "Xuxi" he says again, just as gently as before "What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry" Lucas doesn't even attempt the Korean, switching straight to Mandarin, so Kun knows he's feeling vulnerable "I didn't mean to stop rehearsal, I hope no one is worried."
Kun sighs and runs a hand through Lucas' hair "Of course they're worried, Xuxi, They love you, but everyone will be glad to hear you're okay."
Finally Kun leans back, and hold Lucas at arms length to force him to look him in the eye. "This isn't anything you have to feel guilty about, okay?" Lucas looks unsure, but he nods obediently.
Kun just tuts and wipes the stray tears from Lucas' face, "My sweet Xuxi, I should have taken better care of you."
"Gē" Lucas pouts, docile as a lamb while Kun softly wipes at his face "This isn't your fault either."
Before he can continue, there’s a soft rap at the door, before their manager is peeking his head in and saying that Lucas has been officially released and that it's time to go home.
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Kun is expecting everyone to be in bed by the time they get home, and while some people are missing, in bed or having fallen asleep on the couch or floor, trying to wait up, for the most part everyone is up and waiting. Taeyong is the first to meet them at the door, embracing them both and letting out a deep breath. When he pulls back his smile is a little wobbly, but he tells Lucas that he's happy he's okay.
Kun stands back and lets the members fret over Lucas a little bit, before he teams up with Taeil to gently shoo everyone to bed. They still have a schedule tomorrow, and even though they can function on little to no sleep, it doesn't mean they should.
No one says anything when Kun follows Lucas into his room. Sicheng is already sound asleep, and so they try to stay as quiet as possible as they change clothes, Lucas lending Kun one of his shirts. When Kun puts on the shirt it dwarfs him, and Lucas marvels for a moment at the fact that his biggest source of strength could look so small and soft, bathed in the diffused moonlight.
They crawl into bed and settle into their usual position: Lucas' head resting against Kun's chest, long legs curled up under him, Kun tucking his body around Lucas, as if shielding him from the world.
They sit in silence for a little while, breaths deepening as their lulled closer to sleep, before Lucas shifts up to look Kun in the eye before he speaks, voice low and drowsy. "It's not your fault either, Gē"
Kun’s hold on the back of Lucas’ shirt tightens, and this time his eyes are the ones welling up with tears
"I'm supposed to look after you" he says, with a slight catch in his voice.
Lucas reaches up to cup Kun’s face, big hands warm and comforting, and presses a tender kiss to his lips, before kissing away the tears that have managed to escape Kun’s eyes.
Kun can’t help but let out a watery chuckle, closing his eyes and allowing Lucas to rain affection over him.
“You do,” Lucas says, his deep voice barely above a whisper “You take care of me better than anyone else.”
When Lucas’ breaths finally even out, Kun allows a few more tears to fall, staining the pillow with spots that will be dry before the sun rises.