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Unrequited romantic love is a commonly known feeling. We’ve all had our fair share of one-sided love and broken hearts.
But, unrequited love isn’t the only feeling we can experience. A less common feeling that can be unrequited , at least for me, is trust.
I was so naive back then. I was only a child, can you blame me? I was ten years old, by then I had began to understand my surroundings so much more. With that, I grew much more curious, making me much more troublesome to them. I questioned why they were doing this to me. Why did I have to suffer and be tortured with almost endless, burning pain… He told me that I didn’t need to know and that it was just for a good cause. Being only ten years old, a child, I could understand more of the world but I was still too young to understand or even make sense of anything going on around me. Even though it hurt, I just continued to take it, all the experiments and all the pain. As far as I could tell, I had no way out, no escape. I was to just supposedly trust what was happening and take it.
This was my life. Endless pain and suffering while I was kept in the dark about why all this was happening.
There still had to be some remnant of that man I met at the orphanage in the one I knew now. My naive, childish mind couldn’t just accept that someone at first kind to me could turn be so terrible. There was still a shred of trust and hope left in the little naive me that wanted to see that remnant again.
I knew it wasn’t true, but my naivety and innocence wanted to keep me going.
Until it broke.
In a room carelessly left slightly open, I found the last piece that shattered any doubt I had left. I couldn’t read nor understand everything written on the dozens of papers but I knew it was something terrible. Any trust I had left was shattered. My small bit of hope for the remnant of a kind man disappeared.
Was he ever even there to begin with? I would catch glimpses of him being kind to a girl who looked my age, so was he only faking it for me?
I couldn’t trust anything or anyone anymore. The small bit of trust I had left was completely unrequited and left to shatter within me.
My trust gone, something else had replaced it: disdain.