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The barricade has fallen.
Of course, he thinks, blood on his hands.
(Is it mine?)
He wants to scream, he wants to cry, but he can't.
Apollo has been right all along.
I am incapable of believing,
of thinking,
of willing,
of living,
and –
Eponine has been the first one.
Then, one by one, from his hidden place, he has seen his friends dying. The National Guard has killed everyone. He has seen the old man carrying Marius, going away from the disaster, and he has wanted to go with them, but –
He needs a drink, or two, but first he wants to know. He needs to know.
I should have gone after him, he thinks, but he has always been the most scared one.
Minutes pass away.
There's no one. The guards are all gone.
Eventually, he rises up.
What have I done? Hiding away? What if –
He closes his eyes, breathes, and he starts walking towards the Musain.
He sees Joly, Gavroche, Feuilly, Jehan, Bahorel, Bossuet.
They haven't taken care of their bodies yet.
Where is him?
Courfeyrac and Combeferre's bodies are close to the Musain's main entrance. He doesn't look at their faces. Something else catches his attention.
They died holding hands, he thinks. He almost smiles.
He enters the Musain and he sees him. Finally, finally, he sees him.
Bloody and sweaty, Grantaire can feel his heart beating fast. His brain stops thinking.
The silence is surreal. This place was once full of voices, laughs. Students.
Enjolras is lying on the ground, close to the window. There is blood on his hair. Even now, Grantaire thinks, he looks like a god.
(And I have failed him)
He wants to touch, he wants to see his face for a last time, before –
Before what, coward?, his brain asks.
Enjolras is still breathing.
Grantaire picks him up. He doesn't know what to do or where to go, or if there are guards outside waiting for them, he only knows he needs to leave, and he needs to save Enjolras.
I'm giving him another reason to hate me... just because I'm saving his life.
(I can live with that)
They leave the place. Grantaire carrying Enjolras in his arms.
Combeferre and Courfeyrac's dead bodies are still waiting for him outside. He doesn't look at them now.
Bossuet, Bahorel, Jehan, Feuilly, Gavroche, Joly.
The streets are empty, and the hospital is far away, but he can do this.
He can save the man he –
The silence.
It's the silence that worries him.
There is no sound but the wind.
We can never go home
We no longer have one
I'll help you carry the load
I'll carry you in my arms
We walk through the ash
And the charred remains of our country
Keep an eye on my back
I'll keep an eye on the road
Help me to carry the fire
To keep it alight together
Help me to carry the fire
This road won't go on forever
Enjolras opens his mouth, but Grantaire doesn't see it. His arms are already tired, but he needs to go on.
“R – “
He almost drops Enjolras, surprised.
He looks at him, tries to smile, tries to say something.
I'm saving you
I'm looking for help
All our friends are –
Enjolras, I –
“I'm here.”
If I say shut your eyes
If I say look away
Bury your face in my shoulder
Think of a birthday
The things you put in your head
They will stay there forever
I'm trying hard to hide your soul, son
From things it's not meant to see
Help me to carry the fire
To keep it alight together
Help me to carry the fire
This road won't go on forever
“I knew it,” the other continues, shutting his eyes.
And –
– is that a smile Grantaire sees?
(When Enjolras opens his eyes again, he finds himself on a hospital bed. Grantaire is sleeping on a chair next to him)
(Every part of his body hurts,
but his heart,
he feels,
is in the right place).
* * *
ALTERNATIVE ENDING
We can never go home
We no longer have one
I'll help you carry the load
I'll carry you in my arms
We walk through the ash
And the charred remains of our country
Keep an eye on my back
I'll keep an eye on the road
Help me to carry the fire
To keep it alight together
Help me to carry the fire
This road won't go on forever
Enjolras opens his mouth, but Grantaire doesn't see it. His arms are already tired, but he needs to go on.
“R – “
He almost drops Enjolras, surprised.
He looks at him, tries to smile, tries to say something.
I'm saving you
I'm looking for help
All our friends are –
“Enjolras, I –”
But he can't say it now.
(Maybe never)
The silence.
The man in his arms dies.
Grantaire keeps walking.
Does he realize it? Does he feel it?
Even the tears are silent.
“If I say shut your eyes,”
He starts whispering to the wind.
“If I say look away
Bury your face in my shoulder
Think of a birthday
The things you put in your head
They will stay there forever
I'm trying hard to hide your soul, son
From things it's not meant to see
Help me to carry the fire
To keep it alight together
Help me to carry the fire
This road won't go on forever.”
(When he sees the guards behind a corner, he is calm)
“Long live the Republic! I'm one of them!”
Finally, the silence is broken by the bullets.
(Every part of his body hurts,
but his heart,
he feels,
is in the right place).