Work Text:
you:
come home
please joon
joonie:
oh
should i grab condoms
-
Seokjin bit his lip, pressing his thighs together. His heat had came and he just needed his alpha. They weren’t mated yet, partially because they’re both in college still, and because they want to wait until Seokjin gets pregnant.
you:
no please justnhurry
Seokjin whined, glancing at the papers he received today. They’ve been trying for pups for a while, and Seokjin hasn’t gotten pregnant yet. Namjoon didn’t pay any mind to it, but the omega was concerned.
So he booked a doctors appointment.
He had requested a pregnancy test, and when it came back negative, he had them draw blood. The test results came in today, and Seokjin cried while reading them.
He’s infertile.
Omegas are the weakest class, especially during their heats. They’re naturally submissive, and most would say that they’re only alive to be bred. Namjoon is different.
Namjoon loves Seokjin, hopefully, and wants to start a family with the omega. Seokjin of course would love to have Namjoon’s pups, but it’s not possible. He’s worried that Namjoon won’t want him anymore after he hears the news
He whimpered at the thought of Namjoon leaving him, and teared up. He’s thinking irrationally, probably due to his heat, but he doesn’t want Namjoon to see him as useless.
He pressed a pillow in between his bare thighs, his mind clouded over with his heat. He curled up against it, hoping that it would relieve him. He moved his hips back and forth, clenching his eyes shut.
Seokjin didn’t hear the door open or close, and he was too lost in the moment to notice Namjoon’s scent, but when he did, he shot up. He jumped onto the alpha, who was trying to take off his shirt.
Namjoon fell down and looked up at him, bewildered “Up, baby,” he cooed softly, carrying Seokjin back to the bed. The elder whined, and tugged at Namjoon’s waistband “Off,” he whispered, his eyes clouded over.
Namjoon presses a finger to his lips, shooshing the elder. He pulled away and walked out, and Seokjin teared up. “N-No! Come back, please Joon-ah,” he cried, pressing his face into his pillow.
His rational side knew that Namjoon was only grabbing a few necessities for his heat, but the omega in him thought Namjoon was rejecting him. And being rejected hurt. A lot.
Seokjin crawled to the end of the bed, about to roll off when Namjoon popped back into the room, “What are you doing, baby?” He asked, laughing lightly. Seokjin pouted, “help me,” he whined.
Namjoon towered over him, smiling down at him softly “Let’s have pups together, alright?” deep down, Seokjin’s heart broke; but on the outside, he just nodded.
Seokjin whimpered and spread his legs in submission, leaning back. Namjoon kissed up his legs and he sighed in pleasure, but only one thought clouded his mind,
He’d never be able to give Namjoon what he wanted.
-
His heat had ended a few days ago, and Namjoon had found the papers with his test results. And he was furious. “Were you even going to tell me?” The younger spit out, his tone laced with venom. Seokjin’s lip wobbled, and he opened his mouth to answer but was cut off “Scratch that. When were you going to tell me?”
Seokjin teared up. Namjoon doesn’t want him anymore. “So you weren’t going to tell me. Alright.” Namjoon crinkled the paper, throwing it across the room.
Seokjin gasped, shaking his head furiously “I w-was going to tell you! B-but then my hea-“
“Save it for someone who wants to hear it.” Namjoon sighed, turning to walk out of their bedroom. Seokjin cried, pressing his face into his knees “Y-you don’t love me anymore, huh? I’m just a u-useless omega!” Seokjin’s frame shook harder as he continued talking “I don’t deserve you! I don’t deserve anything! E-except for death, yeah. I s-should just die!” He sobbed, rocking back and forth.
It hurts knowing your omega can’t carry your pups, but it hurts the omega ten times worse.
Namjoon whipped his head back towards Seokjin, his eyes darkened. “Don’t you ever say that, ever again, okay? You deserve everything the world has to give. I’ll never stop being in love with you, because you’re my everything.” Seokjin sniffled, lifting his face up to meet Namjoon’s gaze.
“Promise?”
“I promise.” Namjoon sighed, climbing into bed with Seokjin. The elder immediately pressed his nose into Namjoon’s neck, breathing in his scent.
But, Namjoon is a liar.
-
“Seokjinnie, why haven’t you packed your bags? We leave in a few hours.” Namjoon had asked one morning, setting his fork down beside his breakfast.
Seokjin looked at him with a confused expression, setting his fork down as well. “Where are we going?” Namjoon’s eyes widened temporarily, “Oh, you forgot? We’re moving to Busan.”
Seokjin remained calm, but his scent was starting to heighten “I didn’t forget,” he spit out, his face starting to blush “You didn’t tell me!”
“Oh, I must’ve forgot. Go pack your bags, we’re moving to Busan.” Namjoon shrugged, standing up and picking up his plate to set it in the sink.
Now, Seokjin was pissed off at the Alphas behavior. “So, you just expected me to follow you?” His tone is oddly calm, and Namjoon froze slightly.
“Normally, an omega would follow their alpha. But I guess since you’re not normal, you break the stereotype.” Namjoon shrugged again, brushing past Seokjin and into their bedroom.
“What do you mean by, ‘I’m not normal’?” Seokjin followed him into their room, setting down on their bed. Namjoon sighed, halting his rummaging before turning to stare into Seokjin’s eyes.
“You can’t have my pups. You’re infertile. That’s not normal, you know?”
Oh.
They haven’t brought that up since their fight over it, and now Namjoon was using it against Seokjin. All signs of anger faded, his scent now distressed instead of angry. “It’s not my f-fault..” he whispered, looking down at his lap “Trust me, if it were my o-option, I’d be happy to have your pups!” His lip was wobbling and his eyes were threatening to spill over with tears, and Namjoon knew this, but
“You know what? I’m not sorry for saying that, because it’s true, Seokjin.”
Now, Seokjin was upset. Not sad or angry, just upset. “It is true. And I can’t change that. But forget that, you didn’t discuss with me at all about moving.”
Namjoon sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose “Your only friends are Hoseok and Yoongi, I don’t see why you would want to stay here.”
That hurt. Seokjin has never been the social type, and he barely talked to anyone aside from Yoongi, his childhood friend, in highschool. Namjoon knew that, and he plucked a string in Seokjin’s heart, and he didn’t care.
“Just leave already! Since you want to so bad, just go! I’ll stay here, alone. I don’t need anyone.” Seokjin sniffled, his words mainly directed at himself.
“Okay.” Namjoon shrugged, picking up his bags. “The train arrives in about an hour, anyway.” The younger shuffled out of the room, Seokjin following him. The two stood in front of the door, before Namjoon opened it.
“One more thing,” Seokjin said softly, piquing Namjoon’s interest “W-When did you stop loving me?”
And Seokjin knew from Namjoon’s facial expression, that his love was one-sided. Namjoon blinked a few times, before opening his mouth “I didn’t stop. I love you, but I’m not in-love with you. I’m sorry,”
Seokjin bit his lip, and shut the door so he wouldn’t have to face the alpha. He locked it immediately, and he was glad he did because Namjoon tried to open it. “I’m still in love with you,” Seokjin cried, banging his head against the door, picture frames around it shaking slightly.
And Seokjin wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to fall out of love.
-
Seokjin has not seen Namjoon in 482 days, a year and about 4 months. They kept in touch, Namjoon would message sometimes, but that was in the first few weeks.
Seokjin doesn’t want to seem like a stalker, but he sometimes scrolls down on Namjoon’s instagram. Namjoon moved on fast, because his feed was full of pictures of Park Jimin. His mate.
Apparently they’re expecting, as well. Seokjin’s heart was shattered already, but now the bits of it were shattered even more. He curled further into the bed, not wanting to cry already.
He heard a knock on the door, and his eyes settled on it. “Are you going to come out today, hyung?” He heard Taehyung ask, and he shook his head although he couldn’t be seen.
Yoongi and Hoseok weren’t his only friends.
Seokjin really was useless. Taehyung and Jungkook, mates, moved in with him. He didn’t mind, of course. It was lonely anyway. But now, he disappoints them when he doesn’t come out.
“Hyung, it’s been over a year now! Get over him, he’s mated and has pups on the way.” He heard Jeongguk sigh in frustration, and tears welled up in his eyes.
He knew that already.
But he was still in love with him.
“He has a point, hyung..” Taehyung said softly, trailing off “It’s not healthy spending your heats alone, either. I’m sure Yoongi wouldn’t mind if Hoseok helped you, and I wouldn’t mind either.”
Taehyung is such a sweetheart, really. But Seokjin couldn’t be molded easily.
Seokjin heard a phone ring, and sighed, closing his eyes slightly. They’d be distracted for a few minutes.
“Hyung! I haven’t heard from you in ages!” Jeongguk chirped excitedly. For an alpha, the boy really is childish. “Wah? Really? Everyone will be so happy to hear!”
Now, Seokjin’s interest was piqued. He stood up and walked towards the door, pressing his ear against it.
“Really? I’m excited to meet your mate, he looks nice.” He heard a light slapping noise, followed by Jeongguk murmuring an “ow, really?”
“When?” Jeongguk was asked, and if Seokjin was pushing his ear against the door any harder, it probably would have fallen off of its hinges. “Tomorrow! You could have notified us earlier, you know? Jeez, Joonie-hyung.”
Oh.
Namjoon is visiting tomorrow. With his mate. His pregnant mate.
Seokjin jumped back from the door as if burned by it, climbing back into his bed. Of course he’d missed Namjoon, and he regretted not leaving with him. “Yeah! Seokjin-hyung wants to see you too,” Jeongguk lied. And Seokjin’s heart physically hurt.
He doesn’t want to see Namjoon, he simply misses the alpha.
He buried his face into his pillow, not wanting to cry again. Park Jimin is the perfect omega. He’s cute, and he has adorable chubby cheeks, and he’s fertile.
One of the many things Seokjin is jealous of.
He heard Taehyung talking to Namjoon now, and he wanted to die. ‘Maybe death isn’t as bad as people ought it to be, yeah?’
He heard frantic knocking on the door, and ignored it. “Hyung! Namjoon-hyung is visiting! Aren’t you excited? Now you can see him, and move on afterwards.”
Seokjin sighed, whimpering out a small “no,” curling in on himself. He pheard a muffled sigh, and Jeongguk hit his head against the door.
“He doesn’t love you anymore, Jin-hyung.”
-
They were supposed to meet Namjoon and Jimin at Yoongi’s apartment, but were running late because Seokjin has been sitting in the shower for over an hour.
“Hyung, we’re leaving now. We’ll have Namjoon and Jimin-hyung come here afterwards, okay?” Taehyung said, tapping slightly on the bathroom door.
Seokjin just nodded, relieved they were going to leave without him.
He doesn’t think he’ll be able to handle seeing Namjoon mated with another omega, and he’ll do anything in his power to avoid it. Even if he’s being selfish in doing so.
-
taetae:
They’re coming over now. I hope you’re out of the shower by now (ーー；)．。
-
Seokjin sighed, letting his head fall back against the headboard of his bed. After 482 days of moping around and being sad, he decided that he doesn’t want to stay alive for another day.
And he believes that there’s nothing wrong with that.
*
He lost track of how many pills he’s taken, clenching a razor in his right hand. He was so, so tired. His eyes were growing heavy, as he lazily glided the razor down his wrists.
But then he froze.
He threw the razor with what little strength he had left, and grabbed his phone. He’d force himself to stay awake. He lazily strolled through his contacts, clicking on ‘joonie’.
He wanted to head the younger’s voice before he left.
“Ah, hello?”
Seokjin sighed, tearing up. He missed the alpha so much. His sweet voice, his kind eyes, god, his dimples.
But Namjoon wasn’t his anymore.
Seokjin hummed into the phone, attempting to blink his tears away. He didn’t notice how his eyes would stay shut a second too long, though.
“I miss you, Namjoon,” he finally croaked out, sighing heavily. His chest felt tighter, and he almost forgot why.
He heard Namjoon chuckle, “We’re right down the road. Same apartment number, right?” Seokjin just hummed in response.
“It was nice hearing your voice again, Joon-ah,” Seokjin breathed in deeply, but it felt as if it weren’t enough. “ ‘m so tired, Joonie,” he whined, closing his eyes.
“Stay awake hyung, so we can talk about anything you want when I get there. Jimin-ah wants to meet you, too!” Namjoon said, a little too cheerily for Seokjin’s taste. “Ah, we are parking now. I’m gonna hang up, alright?”
“N-No!” He rasped out, tears falling freely from his eyes “I was so, so depressed and lonely without you,” he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore, “I-I know you won’t be lonely,” he gulped, forcing his eyes to crack open “But don’t be sad when I’m gone, yeah?”
“What are you talking about, hyung? We’re walking up the stairs, Jiminie’s a little slow because of his bump,” Namjoon snickered, and Seokjin heard a soft ‘hey!’
Seokjin could feel himself drifting away, and looked down at his bloodied arms. “So much red, Joonie,” he whimpered, “Tell Guk to take care of Tae for me,”
He heard knocking on the door, “Hyung, come open it. Or I’ll have to dig out the key I’ve had for years,” Namjoon chuckled, but he sounded more panicked.
“Ah, goodnight Joonie. I’m going to sleep again, without you.” He whispered, letting the phone slip. He smiled, looking around the room once more before his whole body went slack. He breathed in one last time, although it was labored, and closed his eyes.
And his eyes would never open again.
-
Namjoon barged into the apartment, his scent now distressed. He immediately dashed down the hall, and broke down Seokjin’s bedroom door.
His eyes welled up with tears as soon as he saw the omega’s body. This wasn’t the Seokjin he knew. The Seokjin he knew was practically in love with food, and never dieted. This Seokjin was thin, his lips were blue and his cheeks were caved in. He was unhealthy.
“Jimin-ah! Call an ambulance, please!” He shouted, cradling Seokjin in his arms. He didn’t care that his jacket was getting covered in blood, all that he cared about was the omega in his arms.
“Wake up, Jinnie. Please, wake up,” he murmured into the elder’s hair, rocking the two of them back and forth. He cried, for the first time since their break up, and he cried hard. He kissed the top of Seokjin’s head, hoping for a miracle like in the fairytales.
But this is reality.
As soon as he heard sirens, he picked the omega up. He weighed close to nothing, and Namjoon’s heart shattered even more. He rushed out, past his mate and down the stairs. Somehow, he didn’t slip.
There was already a stretcher ready, and he laid the omega on it. “Help him, please. You’ve got to help him!” He sobbed pathetically, clenching Seokjin’s cold hand in his own.
The paramedics hooked Seokjin up to IVs, and they shook their heads at each other. One looked at Namjoon with sympathy in his eyes, “We can’t do anything. For us to move he would have to be stable, but his heart isn’t beating. It’s too late.”
Namjoon grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, “You didn’t even try! H-He-“ he sobbed, letting go of the frightened paramedic. He felt something lean into him, and looked down to see Jimin.
“J-Joonie, he’s in a better place now, right?” The omega asked timidly, rubbing his stomach unconsciously.
Namjoon hates himself. If he hadn’t have left in the first place, Seokjin would be alive, most likely in his arms, and they’d be happy.
He leaned down and pecked Jimin’s forehead, sighing. He hated lying, especially to his mate, but he needed to calm the distressed omega.
“I probably would have died without you, Chim.”
And Namjoon hates himself even more, because he never fell out of love. He was in love with Seokjin, imagined Jimin as Seokjin, he would even go as far to create scenarios of him and the elder.
Namjoon doesn’t know if he wants to go on without the elder omega.