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I'm lying on the moon
My dear, I'll be there soon
It's a quiet and starry place
Time, we're swallowed up
In space, we're here, a million miles away
When Yuuri was five years old, Mari brought him to the beach every summer night after they finished their chores. The sun’s last rays of light were just barely visible as they tickled the midnight blue of the sky, dusting over the ocean with violet hues until the darkness overtook them.
Yuuri would lay on his back in the sand, still warm from the summer sun, while Mari sat beside him. They would stare out at the sea and watch the stars begin to flicker in the sky.
“Where do the stars come from, Mari?” Yuuri whispered softly, as though not wanting to let the stars hear him.
“The stars belong to the man in the moon. Each night, he places them one by one in the sky for you to see,” Mari explained in an equally hushed tone, hugging her knees close to her chest as gazed up at the sky.
“Just for me?” It came out like a question, but demanded no response. A smile as bright as the constellations above them emblazoned on Yuuri’s face as his eyes remained trained on the sky. A soft ocean breeze blew through his bangs, bringing with it the briny scent of the sea.
The moon had just begun to creep into view, cutting through the depth of the night. Its light shone right on the beach, illuminating the shallow water as it lapped at the sand. The water seemed to glow as if the light was coming from within it, instead of from the full moon that hung so far above it.
“Mari, look! The moon man is here!” Yuuri exclaimed, scrambling to get up from the sand. He ran to the edge of the water, leaving his shoes where he had been laying on the beach.
“Yuuri, wait!” Mari called out before her brother reached the water. She tore through the sand after him, her laughter matching the ringing of Yuuri’s as the water tickled his feet. “You have to roll your pants if you’re going in the water; what would Okaa-san say if I let you come home soaking wet?”
Though Mari’s voice was scolding, she had already knelt down in the damp sand to help her little brother. Once his pants were rolled up past his knees, Yuuri dipped a toe in the water. A chill ran up his back; the water was still warm from its day in the sun, only just starting to cool in the night’s breeze.
He began to wade further into the water, stomping his feet so the water splashed up. The moon had illuminated the shallow water so that even when it splashed up it looked as if Yuuri was playing with light, bright hues of blues and greens swirling as the young boy jumped and splashed.
“Look Mari!” he called out, his voice shrill with glee.
“Yuuri! You’re completely soaked!” Mari scolded as she joined him in the shallow water. Her smile betrayed the stern demeanor of her voice and her little brother waded back over.
“The moon man made the water glow.” Yuuri giggled, kicking a bit of water toward his sister. He looked to the sky and reached his arm out straight above his head so it looked like his hand touched the moon. “Thank you,” he whispered.
“Come on, Yuuri. We better get home before Okaa-san comes looking for us.” Mari gently placed a hand on her brother’s shoulder, her own gaze following the path of her brother’s arm, still outstretched to the sky.
The siblings trudged back onto the beach and started home. Their feet were covered with sand so they carried their shoes in their hands and the moon seemed to follow them, lighting up the path to the onsen.
There’re things I wish I knew
There's no thing I'd keep from you
It's a dark and shiny place
But with you my dear
I'm safe and we're a million miles away
When Yuuri was fifteen years old, Mari found him sobbing on the steps behind the onsen. He had just returned from practice and it had been a disappointing day. His jumps refused to land, his feet got tangled up during his step sequence, and he fell on his bottom out of his sit spin.
“Yuuri…” Mari murmured, alerting her little brother to her presence as she sat down beside him. Yuuri looked up, wiping off his snot and tears onto the sleeve of his jacket. Mari chuckled softly and handed him a tissue, “I don’t think Okaa-san will want to wash all that out.”
Yuuri looked up at his sister with a tiny smile. “What if I never make it Mari? I’ll be letting everyone down…”
Mari rested her hand on his back, her fingers tracing soft soothing patterns from Yuuri’s shoulders down his spine. Her hand stopped and she began to stand up, ruffling her hand through his long hair. “Come on, Yuuri. Let’s go to the beach.”
Yuuri followed her lead, though his face betrayed his confusion. “It’s late, I have an early practice tomorrow—it’s Saturday,” he protested.
Mari shrugged and made her way down the steps, pausing before the dirt path that led from the onsen to the ocean. “Maybe we’ll see the moon man tonight,” she mused.
They hadn’t gone to the beach in some time. Yuuri had begun skating competitively which took up most, if not all, of his free time and Mari had started taking more responsibility helping out at the onsen. That didn’t mean that the boy hadn’t gazed up at the moon every evening, snuggled under the covers with Vicchan as he drifted off to sleep.
Mari barely made it another few feet before she heard the patter of her brother racing to join her. As she watched him sprint down the path, she remembered the chubby little boy who used to splash in the waves and insist he hadn’t been in the water when asked why his pants were sopping wet. Her brother was starting to grow up, still a few years left before he really started to change, but he had already shot up several inches and begun to slim down from all the skating.
She was proud of him, they all were. She wished it would stop Yuuri from beating himself up over every mistake, but he had always been to hard on himself, even when he was a small child.
Yuuri reached his sister, his face flushed from the exercise, and fell into step with her as they made their way to the beach.
The sun had already set when the two plopped onto the sand. The fall air whipped icily around them and the moon hung low and bright, dancing on the water as it always did.
“What do you think he’s like?” Mari asked, leaning back on her palms, her fingers digging into the sand. “The moon man, I mean.”
“Nee-chan, I know there’s no man in the moon.” Yuuri snorted. He sat with his knees pulled to his chest, his chin rested on them while his eyes watched the moon’s nightly serenade with the ocean.
“I think he’s an old man, all grumpy and bald with a cane to hang the stars,” Mari mused.
Yuuri shot her a look and shook his head. “No, I bet he’s beautiful, like a prince. I bet he has long silver hair, the color of the moonlight, and his eyes are blue like the ocean.”
“Sounds like a dreamboat.” Mari chuckled.
Yuuri looked down at the sand and blushed profusely. He shrugged his shoulders and he dug a finger into the sand, tracing a crescent moon beside his foot. “I think he’s lonely though, that’s why he hangs the stars and shines so bright. It’s so people will look at him and he won’t feel so alone anymore…”
Yuuri let himself trail off and a comfortable silence settled between the pair, their attention fixated on the moon and the lonely man who lived there. Yuuri was often lonely himself, so he knew how the moon man—if there even was a man in the moon—must have felt. When he stared at the moon each night before bed, he felt like someone might be watching over him and it gave him the peace of mind to fall asleep.
“We’re proud of you, Yuuri. No matter what, we will always love you.”
“I know…” Yuuri promised. He scooted across the sand to lean on his sister’s shoulder. The tide began to rise as the night grew later and slowly Yuuri’s eyes began to droop, heavy with exhaustion.
He woke with a nudge from Mari. “Come on sleepy, let’s go home.” By the light of the moon, they made their way back to the onsen.
Yuuri could have fallen asleep the moment he stepped into his room. Before he allowed himself to bury under the covers, he threw open his curtains so the moon was visible high above the trees. He settled his head on his pillow and watched the sky, falling into a dream of his man on the moon.
We’re lying on the moon
It’s a perfect afternoon
Your shadow follows me all day
Making sure that I'm
Okay, and we’re a million miles away
Yuuri was twenty-three years old when he won gold in the Grand Prix. He had dropped to his knees after finishing his program, his shoulders shaking with silent tears because he knew he had done it. The emotion was there, his jumps landed perfectly, and he could barely hold it together as he stood on the podium, proudly holding his medal.
He had based his theme this year around the man in the moon, which Mari thought he was crazy for doing. “Aren’t you a bit too old to still believe in fairytales, little brother?”
Yuuri had ignored her. He had been having the same dream about the man in the moon for several years now. In the dream he would wake up to a dark, unlit sky and rush to the beach, searching the water desperately for the moon. He never found it for just as he would begin to tire, a man would walk down the beach and join him in the water.
The man in Yuuri’s dream had long silver hair, deep blue eyes, and a soft illumination around him like his skin was glowing in the dark. He was the man in the moon that Yuuri had dreamed up nearly eight years ago on the beach with Mari. In the dream, they never exchanged words; only gentle touches and looks filled with longing. The night before the Grand Prix, the man in the moon had grabbed Yuuri and kissed him tenderly. He kissed him in such a way that a blush flooded the skater’s face when he let himself think of it, but the dream had ended immediately after.
The programs that had won Yuuri his well-deserved gold were love songs centered around the idea of the man on the moon, lonely and heartbroken, waiting for his lost love. Yuuri thought of the nights he spent staring up at the sky, imagining the prince he had created in his head when he was small. As he went through his choreography, he thought of the dreamy kiss that took place the night before. He let the feelings and the story he had created for this fictionalized man guide him through his programs.
After the gala that night, he made his way to the beach in Saint Petersburg, stumbling a bit from the few glasses of champagne he had indulged in during the celebration. He had been the man of the hour; Phichit had taken what must have been hundreds of pictures of Yuuri with his medal. His family had FaceTimed him from the onsen where everyone was gathered to watch the final programs.
Yuuri felt proud of himself for the first time. He had been steadily improving, year after year, and climbing the podium had been a coronation for all his hard work. He hadn’t been down to a beach to watch the moon since he entered the senior division, but he still let the moonlight wash over him every evening before he closed his eyes.
Finally reaching the water, Yuuri kicked off his shoes and flopped back in the sand. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the soft buzz from the champagne as he deeply inhaled the scent of the sea. A few gulls cried out as they passed overhead, hunting for leftovers from the day’s beachgoers. Their findings were scarce since the chilly air did not invite many tourists to the beach.
The skater lost track of the time, letting the sounds of Saint Petersburg lull him to sleep. When he woke, night had fallen and the city behind him was illuminated. Out of habit, he looked to the sky, expecting to see the moon watching over him just as it always had.
The sky was dark tonight, with only a few stars peeking out of the depths above. Yuuri frowned; he hadn’t realized it was the night of a new moon. That was just his luck, winning gold for a program dedicated to a moon that hadn’t bothered to show up.
His buzz substantially faded, he made a move to get up but instantly froze as he rolled over to his side and saw a figure walking towards him, along the beach where the sand met the water. The figure was a man, tall and slender with broad shoulders that made him have a looming presence as he trudged through the dark.
Yuuri quickly sat up, his eyes never leaving the figure as he watched the man’s long hair flow in the breeze. As he grew closer, his hair caught the faint light of the city and revealed itself to be a silver color—like that of the missing moonlight.
Acting purely on instinct, Yuuri pushed himself to his feet and ran to meet the man where the ocean was married to the land. He met the man’s gaze, eyes the color of the ocean on a calm summer’s day, and his brain struggled to find words amidst all the thoughts that crossed his mind.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Yuuri,” greeted the man. Everything, from his voice to the secretive smile he bore, was ethereal and seemed as though it did not belong on Earth.
“You know my name?” Yuuri whispered. The question needed no answer but the man obliged him anyway.
“Of course I do, I’ve watched you for some time now. I was hoping you’d recognize me… You’ve been watching me for some time as well, haven’t you?”
Yuuri looked out to the sea, but he felt the man’s gaze hot upon him.
“You’re the man in the moon,” he replied. His words came out like an accusation but the man merely chuckled in response.
“That’s right,” the man agreed. “Though now that we’ve met I suppose you can call me Victor; that was my name.”
“Was?” Yuuri asked without hesitation, immediately clapping a hand over his mouth for fear of being rude.
“Was.” Victor replied with a glass grin. “I always wanted to have the world watch me, I wanted everyone to know who I was. Be careful what you wish for, I suppose…”
Yuuri had no response; he had too many questions floundering about in his head. As if he could sense this, Victor continued.
“You’ve been watching me for some time now, Yuuri. Every night, even when I’m just a faint sliver in the sky. I was so elated when you came down to the beach to visit me tonight! Finally a night when I don’t have to hang in the sky for the rest of the world to see—just you.”
Victor stepped towards Yuuri, and let his long, slender fingers caress the other man’s jaw. He let a single finger rest under the skater’s chin, lifting it up towards the sky. Their eyes met and Yuuri didn’t dare look away, though he wasn’t sure he could if he tried; his body felt frozen on the spot.
Victor’s face grew closer. Yuuri inhaled Victor’s heady scent, a combination of the ocean’s breeze and something invigorating, like a high end cologne. It was ethereal, just like the smoothness of his skin, stretched across cheekbones that might cut if he reached out to touch them.
Caught in the moment, Yuuri pushed to his toes and his lips crashed into Victor’s.
If he was surprised, Victor did an excellent job of hiding it. He let his free hand come forward and cling to the small of Yuuri’s back as he pushed their bodies together. His kiss grew firmer, needier as their lips began to move together in a dance that needed no rehearsal.
As they pulled apart, Yuuri noticed a faint glow about Victor, as if he was bathed in the missing moonlight.
“How are you here?” Yuuri asked, “Am I drunk?”
Victor laughed, throwing his head back and relaxing his hold on the skater. It took him a moment to compose himself before he addressed Yuuri’s questions.
“Oh, solnyshko , no. Come, sit.” He took Yuuri by the hand and led him up the beach to sit in the dry sand. He took one of the skater’s hands in his own and stroked the back of it absently as he told Yuuri his story.
“I was terribly conceited before I became the moon. I was a prince and everywhere I went, people celebrated my good looks. I was celebrated for beauty, not for kindness, but I still wanted more.
“I was out walking one night along the beach, when I encountered a woman kneeling in the water under the moonlight. She had not a clue who I was, and it angered me so much that I looked to the sky and made my wish. I wished for everyone to know me, and to admire my beauty. The woman promised that I would never find love if I continued to be so selfish, and that I would be labored with the task of hanging the stars every night until I learned what love should be. Then you came along…” He paused and looked at Yuuri, whose gaze hadn’t left Victor’s face as he shared his tale.
“I’ve always loved you, in different ways over the years. I watched you splash in the water as I illuminated it to draw you in. I watched your tears when you were disappointed in yourself, and I watched your tears when you were triumphant. I always wondered if you could love me too…” Victor trailed off, his words fading into the night as the silence hung between the two men.
Yuuri drew closer once more, and his voice was barely a whisper as he confessed his own feelings, “I thought I should stop believing in you as I got older, but I always thought you were watching over me. Mari thought I was crazy, believing some story she told me as a kid...I—I couldn’t explain it but…” His words failed him as a bright smile broke across Victor’s face.
“Will you go back...after tonight?” Yuuri asked, knowing that they couldn’t delay the dawn that would surely break soon enough.
“Only if you want me to,” Victor promised, wrapping a hand around Yuuri’s to pull the man in closer.
Yuuri responded with a tentative kiss to Victor’s jaw, “Don’t you dare.”
Victor’s reply came as his lips met Yuuri’s once again, leading him into a kiss that answered every question that hung in the air. A kiss that erased any doubt Yuuri could hold that this was insane, this was crazy, this was something that he might have known all along. He fell in love with the moon a long time ago, and believed the stories even after he grew too old to believe in such things.
The two continued to kiss, each one deeper and needier than the one before until their limbs were tangled as they laid on the beach in each other’s embrace. The dawn had begun to break, but Victor stayed by Yuuri’s side, tangible and so very real.
They rolled onto their backs, as they watched the sun creep over the horizon and heard the gulls begin their morning cries.
“I fell in love with the moon,” Yuuri murmured, tracing a finger into Victor’s outstretched palm.
The man in the moon rolled over and placed a soft kiss upon Yuuri’s lips. As he pulled away he placed his hand on Yuuri’s chin, gazing into his dark eyes as if they held every answer he had ever searched for.
“The moon has always loved you; the moon will always love you.”
☾♡☽