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All of their friends were dead.
The Falcon flew on through the night; the exhausted few sprawled out wherever they could find space. So few remained. It was almost too much to comprehend. Kaydel stared out into the blackness, trying to feel nothing. Trying to be numb, knowing she had to sleep, but every time she closed her eyes, the enormity of what had happened kept seeping back into her mind and she didn’t know how she could stand it.
She’d never experienced loss before, not like this. “Join the Resistance!” they said. It had seemed such a noble cause. A way to fulfil a family legacy, a way to do something meaningful in a universe filled with corruption and greed. And sure, she knew there would be death. She was a soldier through and through.
But she’d never lost her entire army. Not until now.
Her gaze was drawn back to the cramped quarters. Poe was there. Commander D’Acy. And General Organa.
She didn’t know the others. Not that there were many names to learn.
“Kaydel.”
General Organa’s voice was soft, so as not to wake the others, but still carried its quiet air of authority.
“General,” she replied, but the older woman shook her head and sighed.
“We’re past all that now,” she said. “Call me Leia.”
It seemed wrong to call this amazing, incredible woman something so familiar when it hadn’t been earned. Kaydel had respected her from the moment they’d met, the moment Leia had recruited her on Hosnian Prime, but they had always maintained an appropriate distance. Poe was the only one of the lower ranks who was close to the General, and even that relationship was unequal at times.
Leia seemed to sense her hesitation. “I know, I know, it will take time to get used to it, but we don’t need those titles anymore.” She sighed wearily, suddenly looking so much older than her fifty-something years.
“But-“ and Kaydel swallowed hard, not sure what she wanted. Not knowing what there was to even want. “What are we supposed to do now?”
Leia got up from her chair and came to join Kaydel by the window. “I don’t know,” she admitted. She looked far into the stars, the blackness of space, and added, almost to herself, “Everyone is gone now.”
“How do you stand it?” Kaydel asked. She knew Leia’s story and it was one of such immense, terrible loss. Losing her parents and her entire world at age 19. The never-ending political battle after the fall of the Empire. Losing her son, then her marriage, in quick succession, and then the death of her husband and brother only days apart.
How was it that Leia was even still standing? How could one woman endure so much and still be whole? Why wasn’t she a sobbing ball of grief, subsumed by the tide of emotion that threatened to overwhelm Kaydel herself?
She was the strongest person Kaydel had ever met. And Kaydel had met a lot of soldiers.
Leia closed her eyes. “I don’t.” She paused, lost in thought. “But I’m here, and I’m still breathing, and I believe there must be a reason for that. Someone has to go on and the universe seems to keep deciding that it’s me.
“But let me tell you, Kaydel, when I saw the ships coming for us, I thought, for a moment, how much easier it would be to let go. And that is the easy path. To stop fighting. To stop caring.”
“I wish I didn’t care,” Kaydel admitted. She still couldn’t comprehend the enormity of what had happened, but she knew it was coming. The tide of grief was swelling inside her, threatening to break through.
“I know,” Leia echoed. “But if we stop caring, then who’s left?” She straightened her shoulders. “That’s how I go on. Because if we don’t go on, then the downtrodden people of the galaxy will continue to be abused, the evil will always rise, and, well, the entire galaxy may as well go to hell or blow itself up and I will not let that happen!
“Not while I’m still here,” she vowed.
And in that moment, Kaydel could see Leia’s entire history in the set of her shoulders, the firmness of her posture. This was royalty and a commander and a leader all in one. She was beautiful. And so strong.
“I’m with you,” Kaydel promised. “No matter what.”
3 YEARS AFTER THE CRAIT MASSACRE
“Leia!” Kaydel shouted over the comlink. “You better get down here!”
“I’m a little busy right now!” came the quick reply. She could hear grunting noises over the link; Leia was trying to fix the damn transceiver again. It kept blinking out no matter how many techs looked at it, and Rose, their best tech, was off on a mission.
“We’ve got an incoming ship, no ID, seems to be beat up and coming in hot!”
That got Leia’s attention. “On my way.”
Drumming her fingers on the scanner, Kaydel swore under her breath. Friend or foe? They never knew these days. They’d discovered shortly after Crait how few people wanted to get involved anymore. So many former allies had turned their backs, saying they were tired, or had no resources left, or just didn’t answer at all. But there had still been a few places left to regroup, and Leia, well, it turned out she had assets and credits buried across the galaxy. At times it was a challenge to access it all but it was enough to keep them alive.
They were rebuilding. But not like before. No more armies, no more warfare. Instead, they were trying to undermine the First Order through peace. (And if that involved blowing up a few ships of the rich and powerful here and there, then power to them.)
Something had shifted in the galaxy. The legend of Luke Skywalker was spreading, which made Leia both simultaneously roll her eyes and smile sadly. “My brother never wanted to be a legend,” she would say. And then she would launch into a story of the early days, of what a goofball Luke was, and how it was crazy that this kid from the desert was now inspiring millions.
“It should be you!” Kaydel argued with her.
“I’ve had my fame,” Leia always retorted. “I like this better.” They were living a much quieter life, away from the political arena and away from the attention. Kaydel had to agree with her, there was something much more…exciting about being the underground and not having to maintain a public façade.
A transmission came in from the ship, but nothing but crackles and pops sounded through the speakers. Fighting with the system, Kaydel wished she could go outside and kick the receiver herself. (But wasn’t that what Leia had just been doing anyway, to no avail?) She scanned the ship again, looking for the tell-tale signature of weapons fire, but there was nothing.
Friend, then.
She hoped.
It came closer and closer to the landing pad, still spinning erratically. It wasn’t going to make it. “Tractor beam!” Kaydel whispered under her breath. The days of having an entire squadron to shout orders to were long gone; these days, it was every being for themselves.
“Status!” demanded Leia as she hurried into the room.
“One small Starfighter, origin unknown,” she replied. “No weapons detected but it looks like someone shot it up pretty bad.”
Amazingly, the tractor beam sputtered to life and caught the incoming ship as it overshot the base. The building shuddered with the sound of sudden deceleration; the walls here were thin. And then it was silent.
Leia tossed Kaydel a weapon. There wasn’t any need for words, they were a practiced team by this point. “Where’s Poe?” she asked.
“Don’t know.”
Shrugging, Leia said, “Then I guess we do this ourselves.”
They cautiously approached the landing pad. The ship was literally smoking and up close, they could see traces of blaster-fire on the exterior. And even though it was very likely to be friendly, Leia and Kaydel raised their weapons as the hatch slowly opened, ready for anything.
A cautious roar came down the ramp.
“Chewie?” The look on Leia’s face was full of hope. “Is that really you?”
Kaydel hoped it was; Chewie and Rey had left years ago to go after Ben. And while she didn’t particularly know Chewie that well, Leia had told her enough stories over the years that she loved the Wookiee even from a distance. He was, aside from their new-found family, the only family that Leia had left.
There was another growl, and Kaydel realised she would need to learn to speak Shyriiwook. “Chewie! It is you!” Leia started hurrying towards the ramp, wondering why he was hesitating, until the smoke cleared and it suddenly became apparent.
In his arms, Chewie was carrying two tiny human babies.
8 YEARS AFTER THE CRAIT MASSACRE
Kaydel’s heart was pounding. This was a moment she had never allowed herself to dream would happen. The garden was beautifully and tastefully decorated and an early spring had caused the flowers to already be in bloom.
She heard laugher in the distance. The twins were chasing each other through a nearby field, with Poe’s son part of the mix as always. The three children were growing up like siblings. They were family. Maybe not by blood, but by sacrifice and love and care.
She wondered what they looked like to outsiders. The grand matriarch, grandmother to the youngest children. Poe and his partner, and their son. Chewbacca the mighty Wookiee who doted on the children like they were his own. Threepio, the ever-dithering butler, and BB8, the family pet. And Kaydel who felt like the aunt, at times, or a daughter, a sister, all of these things, all of these intricate relationships, all wound up into her complicated found family that she couldn’t imagine life without.
And now she was about to change it all.
Leia strode down from the house, glowing and vibrant. The more time passed from the horror of war, the more she glowed. She had even embraced the Force – not that she would become a Jedi, because, as she had cautioned all of them, the time of the Jedi was over. But she embraced the living Force, she taught the children how to tune it in, and sometimes, even Kaydel herself could feel it. Knew if she reached in just that way, she could bend the fabric of space and time to do good.
But it was difficult and her mind had to be absolutely calm. Absolutely at peace.
With the way her heart was thumping today, she certainly couldn't reach the Force right now.
“Kaydel! This is wonderful!” Leia smiled at the brunch that had been prepared for them. Kaydel wasn’t much of a cook – none of them were – but that’s why they kept Threepio around (or so they joked). Sometimes, they felt a little guilty asking a protocol droid to work in the kitchen but he professed that it was perfect for him in his old age, with his joints rusting and his server motors slowing down. (Personally, Kaydel thought he was just being fussy, but who was she to argue with a droid who’d lived through three wars?)
Of course, the fight wasn’t over. Despite appearances of a stable, happy commune, none of their distant neighbours knew that this quiet farm housed one of the most powerful underground guerrilla headquarters in this sector of the galaxy.
And they were damn good at what they did.
“This is nice, isn’t it?” Leia said, gesturing at their surroundings. “I hope you’re happy here, Kaydel.”
Leia knew. Of course Leia knew. She could always see right into the heart of a person, good or bad.
“I am happy,” she quickly reassured the older woman, laying a hand on her arm. “Leia, this place we’ve built together… I honestly don’t know what I would have done without you. You made us a home.”
Leia shook her head, brushing off the compliment. “I just did what I needed to do. So did you.”
“Well, I know I don’t often say the words, but thank you.” She meant it from the depths of her heart. “You kept us alive and you gave us – you gave me – a purpose.” Kaydel stared down at her hands, drawing a deep breath. “And I have something to ask you.”
“Uh oh, this sounds serious,” Leia teased. “It’s about that boy, isn’t it.”
Kaydel nodded, while smiling to herself at thinking of Lysses as a boy. He was older than Kaydel, a man who had slowly but surely wormed his way into her life over the past year or so. Even when she refused to give him her name, and then not a real one, and she could never, ever reveal where she had come from or where she lived, he had persisted. He loved her.
“He asked me something.” She swallowed. “Something big.” Even now it was still hard to comprehend, to think that she was actually letting someone into her heart again after she’d vowed to keep the walls up. To love was to risk loss, and yet, she could never stop loving. Leia had taught her that.
Leia was smiling gently, but she looked sad. “I always wondered if you’d leave us one day.” She gestured around to their beautiful gardens surrounding the modest home. “I wasn’t sure if this could be enough for you and thought you might want to start a family of your own. I understand,” she said sadly, “but I will miss you.”
“No!” Kaydel protested instantly. “It’s not like that!” She loved the children far too much to leave them. And how could she ever walk away from everything they had built here together? The missions continued; she couldn’t just leave her responsibilities behind. And more than that, she owed so much, her life, practically, to Leia.
“I’m wondering, well, I’m asking, if I can bring him here.” A pause. “To live.” She kept her gaze down, not wanting to see the hesitation in Leia’s eyes. “I know that we’ve promised to keep this place secret and I know you don’t want anyone knowing about the twins, but … he’s a good man. I think he could help us.”
“And?” Leia pushed.
“And…I love him.” It was hard to admit that. She’d never thought she could open herself up to love again, not after so much loss. But there was something about this place that had healed her.
“Kaydel, Kaydel, Kaydel.” In moments like these, Leia was a mother to her. “Do you know how happy I am to hear that?” Leia had met him only the once, off-world, but even that one meeting had been enough for her to approve. “You can’t keep hiding here with us forever. I want you to live your own life.”
“This is my own life!” she protested.
“Then you have every right to bring your own part of the family here too.” A mischievous smile crossed Leia’s face. “Although do you really want to bring him into Princess Leia’s Home for PTSD sufferers?”
Kaydel laughed through her sudden tears. It was true, they were all so broken in so many ways. And yet in their shattered state, they found strength in each other.
“I think he could handle it,” she said.
“Well then you have my blessing.” Leia stood suddenly, and folded Kaydel into a hug. “But you’re the one who has to break the news to Threepio.”
18 YEARS AFTER THE CRAIT MASSACRE
The blast knocked Kaydel off her feet.
“Where are the kids?” Leia yelled as she ducked away from the flying debris.
Choking on the soot, Kaydel yelled back, “Last I saw they were heading for Bunker B!”
“Bunker B?” Leia did that thing where it looked like she was swearing under her breath, only no one had ever actually heard her curse so they could never be sure. “I told them to light the fuses and get back to the ship!”
“They have too much of you in them!”
The twins were spitfires. Barely 16 years old and already heavily invested in the family business, delighting in both planning and execution, or as they called it, “blowing stuff up.”
As she and Leia dusted themselves off, they checked the time. Five minutes until the last part of the plan, although given the growing ferocity of the explosions, Kaydel was starting to think they should all bail now. The plan had been controlled explosions at the weapons factory; enough to put it permanently out of business. But she was beginning to suspect that a few more explosives had been added to the mix than planned for, or there were unmapped munitions stores in the factory that had been set off by accident.
Either way, it seemed like the whole place was going up.
Leia seemed to be smiling as she ran to the last location. And it struck Kaydel again – that as much as Leia seemed to love the quiet life, she also loved this. Being in the thick of the action and even though age slowed her a little, it wasn’t much. Leia was out here where she belonged, making a difference, and to hell with diplomacy these days. Blowing up a factory (an unstaffed factory; they’d made sure there were no sentients on site and staged a fake gas leak to get all of the guards away) was their way of making a statement.
“Do you have a spare charger?” Kaydel yelled. Hers was stuck, jammed, whatever. It didn’t really matter because they’d already done so much damage but it would be nice to finish the job properly.
From behind a pillar, a charger came arcing towards her, perfectly aimed with the aid of the Force. Kaydel snatched it at the last moment, reflecting that after all this time, they were perfectly in sync. A well-oiled team. It made things easy.
BOOM.
The last set of charges went off and it felt like the entire planet was rattling beneath their feet.
“Leia, you know I love you, but your grandchildren are insane!” Poe puffed as they ran towards the Falcon.
“My grandchildren?” she retorted, not even breaking a sweat. “I seem to recall you had equal hand in raising those three!”
Through the smoke, Kaydel spotted the three teenagers ducking into the ship, cackling with laughter. At the sight of them, Leia laughed too. The engines were already fired up; Chewie was anxious to go, and the mission was an unmitigated success.
It was a good day, and as Kaydel tossed one last grenade over her shoulder, she knew that staying with her family, bringing a husband into it, had been the right thing to do.
FIFTY YEARS AFTER THE CRAIT MASSACRE
“Do you ever think we’ll see total peace in the galaxy?” Kaydel asked Leia, holding her hand.
Leia laughed wryly. “As long as humans are humans, there’s always going to be some stupid squabble. But you know what, Kaydel?”
Her eyes filled with tears, Kaydel asked, “What?”
“We made a difference.”
It was true. There was no galactic war; hadn’t been one for years. Weapons factories had been disarmed (or blown up), and the machines of war had slowed. It was a peacetime finally resembling that of the Old Republic, and Kaydel was so glad that Leia had lived to see it.
“I wish I could tell everyone what you did.”
Everyone knew the legends of the first war, and the Death Star, and Princess Leia and Luke Skywalker. But no one knew the legends of Leia and Poe and Kaydel and Chewbacca, and those that came after them. C3PO had archived it all – he was the keeper of the stories – but for now, it was only theirs.
“It’s not important who did it,” Leia said. “What’s important is what we did.” She closed her eyes again; her strength was fading.
“What we did together,” Kaydel affirmed, squeezing Leia’s hand. She suddenly wished for more time – to tell Leia how much she owed her. How she had been a mother and a sister to her, a mentor and a friend and everything in between. How much she loved her.
“I know, sweetheart,” Leia said. And then, “Oh!” Her eyes were looking past Leia, to something Kaydel couldn’t quite see. “It’s Luke!”
The former princess of Alderaan smiled regally. And in that smile, Kaydel could see the lifetime she had experienced: the princess, the fighter, the mother, the General, but in the end, it didn't matter who she had been, only that she had lived, and lived well. “He says it’s time for my next adventure.” She winked as she leaned forward and whispered softly, one final message, "I'll see you there."