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You Must Be Swift As A Coursing River

Summary:

In which no one should EVER let the Avengers drink. Or go to post-battle meetings after being medicated. Or just do anything with Disney.

Notes:

In honor of The Avengers Infinity War coming out (even though I'm seriously considering not going because I don't want to know who dies) and Thanos finally showing his beautiful purple mug.

Inspiration taken from here: http://memosfromfury.tumblr.com/post/34339832210/submitted-by-spookynebula-when-agent-hill-says

Work Text:

Tony Stark was feeling like crap. The battle against Doom's Doom bots had been simple but tiring, blow up the bots without causing civilian casualties and as little city damage as possible. Destroying the machines were easy, just time consuming. 

Hours later the Avengers were sitting around, Steve had his head on the table while his stomach growled ferociously, Bruce was dead asleep in his chair with his head flung back, Natasha was cleaning her nails with a knife (Tony did not want to know), Thor even looked exhausted with his hair hanging limply around his shoulders. 

The most worrisome was Clint, his left arm in a brace, bandages covering half his head while he swayed in his chair. He had fallen off a building and barely caught himself on a fire escape, but the dislocate shoulder and concussion had required heavy medication which made him loopy. This combined with the Avengers massive case of sleep deprivation and the fact that they had been watching "Mulan" right before the assemble alarm had gone off led to a very strange post battle debrief. 

Maria Hill stood at one corner of the table waiting for the Avengers to pretend to pay attention. After waiting a few minutes she lost her patience, "Let's get down to business" she called. 

Clint's eyes lit up with the kind of manic passion that spoke of drugs and concussion, "To defeat the HUNS!" He warbled in a horrible singing voice. 

Suddenly Thor stood up with his usual Asgardian enthusiasm, "Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons?" he sang loudly, then turned to Natasha "Which I disagree with, the women I have encountered are all more than equal to a man in battle" then sat down.  

"You're the saddest bunch I ever met" a stern voice said as the person walked into the room. 

Everyone turned to see who had spoken and Tony nearly choked on his tongue. 

"Why Nick I didn't know you like Disney!" he called, nearly slumping over when Fury turned his eye on him. 

"People who dislike Mulan and her kickass ability to defend a nation with nothing but kung-fu and a fan are damn fools" he said, then turned to Hill. 

"Continue Miss Hill" he said, then walked out to the shock of everyone. 

They sat around completely floored until Clint started giggling. 

"Picture Fury fighting a Hun on the roof of the Imperial Palace in a dress" he snorted, pounding his fist on the table then wincing from the pain.  

"I heard that Barton" a voice rang out from the hall. 

 

 

A week later there was a Memo after several agents kept putting the lyrics to various Disney songs in their after battle reports. 

 

"When Agent Hill says “Let’s get down to business,” the correct response is not to sing “Be a MAN!”. 

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