Work Text:
How it feels to look at dried flower that left behind?
Koichi hates it. He hates the feeling of regret. The words ‘if only’ will throw him off from his balance. It's been a few days, but Koichi still hates it. He doesn't want to throw the dried flower yet, because it means he has to throw away the feeling he’s been clinging to.
They never really say goodbye. He just chose to leave, and gave his back to that person. The last time Koichi saw him, that person came to work with swollen eyes. Still being so kind to him, wanted to reach out, but afraid of Koichi’s rejection.
If love is more than just words, then what Koichi feels is a knife. The blurred word is carved in his heart. It's been bleeding since he left the person who carved it. He's more dead than he expected to be. He feels like a zombie that won't be able to hold his desire if that person is reflected in his pupil.
Koichi is already prepared for his slow death. He knows he will be dying bit by bit every day without that person besides him. He prepared. But then, a touch of a slender finger on his hair, makes his heart throbbing.
‘Why do you still love me?’ Koichi remember himself said.
‘I love you. I have no reason why i can’t love you.’ Tsuyoshi smiled with tears in the corner of his eyes.
‘We will hurt each other more.’
‘I’m prepared to be hurt. It's already hurts now. What kind of hurt that can be more painful than this?’
Koichi lost his words. He couldn’t face Tsuyoshi anymore, and that's why he chose to leave him for a while. Before Koichi went, Tsuyoshi’s manager gave him a stalk of rose. A ‘take care in your vacation’ message from Tsuyoshi.
‘What a romantic guy he is’, Koichi smiles bitterly, if only they don't have to break it.
Then, if he really want to end this. Maybe he should end this properly, thus he composed a goodbye song for him; for them, and for the precious things that he needs to protect.
Saigo no message, I love you.
But he can't.