Work Text:
09:00
Our date anniversary <3
Notes:
I love you, Jeon Wonwoo!
Wonwoo woke up with a soft melody ringing in his ears. It’s not his usual morning alarm sound, and it’s so soft that Wonwoo could barely hear it, but still, he woke up diligently.
It’s the special alarm Soonyoung had set for him.
“Nah, it’s all set. Don’t you dare to forget our anniversary, okay?” Soonyoung said while handing him his phone back, “and don’t change the song I chose! It’s not good to wake up with a loud song, you know. You’ll get surprised. It’s not good for your brain.”
It’s impossible for Wonwoo to forget the day when Soonyoung finally said yes to his confession, but he let his fluffy ball of sunshine did as he pleased.
And he kept his words. It’s the fifth time since the first time his boyfriend set it, yet he still remembered.
Every year on this date, they would go to have a nice lunch at the restaurant near Han River (or a dinner after office, if it fell on a weekday) and went to Soonyoung’s apartment to cuddle while watching an overplayed The Cars or other Disney Pixar series. Indeed, Wonwoo was not an avid fan of animations, but he knew the older got excited with them, so he went with it. It didn’t matter anyway, if he could spend around two-hour time to hug Soonyoung in his lap and kiss the crown of his head.
However, this time was different.
Wonwoo suggested them to watch a newly-released movie in the theatre and reserve a seat in a quite exquisite restaurant for dinner. His boyfriend was kinda surprised and reluctant at first, saying it would cost a lot, but he had managed to convince him.
“It’s our first time in 5 years, Soonyoung! It’s okay to spend a little bit above our usual budget.” After several minutes, Soonyoung seemed to buy the idea, and then he smiled, leaning in for a kiss while mouthing “Thank you.”
But, that’s not the only difference.
Wonwoo reached the red box on his nightstand, opened and closed it like he hadn’t checked it for the hundred times since the previous day.
He’s going to propose today.
It took a lot of time and courage for Wonwoo to finally decided to propose to Soonyoung. He knew they had done all the things like what a married couple did, but Wonwoo was too afraid to ask Soonyoung to be his actual husband. Being a lover was one thing, but being a husband—would Soonyoung agree to it? What their family would think if they found out their relationship? Not to mention that Soonyoung worked as a kindergarten teacher: What would his colleagues or his students’ parents think of him, in this society where homosexuality was considered taboo? Were they going to keep their relationship unknown? Or announced it and just accept what came?
Wonwoo was afraid of the idea of marriage, but he soon discovered that he would be more afraid to lose his squishy lover. Soonyoung was literally the sun of Wonwoo’s life—the center of his life and his source of power. He couldn’t imagine a world without Soonyoung, not when he’s too used to the warmth of the older’s embrace, the messy lunch box he prepared occasionally when Wonwoo was in his peak season in the office, and the sweet late-night kisses.
Wonwoo smiled nervously. Come on Wonwoo, you can do it. Now get up and get ready.
He grabbed his phone and checked his KakaoTalk.
09:00 Wonwoo, good morning!
09:00 Happy anniversary! <3
09:00 I love you so much, I always do.
09:01 I can’t wait for our date today! Should I wear a proper suit? Lol
He smiled, now slightly relieved. He then dialed Soonyoung’s number for a morning hello.
However, it didn’t go through even after several times.
Strange, Wonwoo thought.
But Soonyoung never forgets, he murmured while convincing himself. His lover was probably away from his phone for a while. Probably he’s taking a bath? Or riding the train?
Wonwoo went to the shower after leaving a voice mail to Soonyoung.
-o-o-
Wonwoo contemplated between a mystery movie or a new Disney Pixar animation while he’s queuing for the movie tickets, and finally chose the animation. He bet the cashier girl was probably surprised to see a grown-up man picking a movie for the young audience, but Wonwoo didn’t bother.
Once he held the tickets, he fished his phone from his jeans’ pocket, dialled Soonyoung’s number again, but it still didn’t reach him.
He checked his KakaoTalk app in case he missed one or two messages, and saw some lines from Soonyoung. But there wasn’t any notification symbol on it, did he opened it somehow and forgot?
10:43 Wonwoo, I’m sorry
1 0:43 I probably would be late >_<
10:44 But I’ll be there soon!
Having reading Soonyoung’s message, he started typing.
10:55 It’s okay, the movie wouldn’t start until another hour anyway :)
10:55 Be careful
10:55 See you, sweetheart
-o-o-
It’s already 5 minutes past the actual showing time for the movie, but Soonyoung hadn’t arrived. Yet.
Wonwoo was getting restless. It was very unusual for him to be so late for the date, and on top of that, without information.
He’s been contacting Soonyoung for numerous times today, but all of them never went through. There were no replies to his previous messages too.
Wonwoon was in between being worried and getting mad by now. No matter how important or urgent his business was, shouldn’t Soonyoung at least tell him where he was or what he was doing?
12:29 Soonyoung, where are you?
-o-o-
“I have a reservation for two under the name Jeon Wonwoo on 6 PM.”
The waitress checked the list for some moments, and there was frown appearing on the bridge of her eyebrows. She even flipped her two-pages list several times before went back to Wonwoo.
“Excuse me Mr Jeon, but we haven’t had you listed on our reservation list...“
Wonwoo gave her a look. He almost snapped—enough with the bad happenings today. When he thought he was well prepared with his plan, so many occurances happened: Like how Soonyoung hadn’t arrived even after the sun set and now he’s accused to not having reserved the place? (Accused was a strong word, but he couldn’t help.)
Fortunately, it seemed like the waitress could get his message across, and he was not seated in quiet a nice corner in the restaurant.
18:47 Soonyoung, are you okay?
18:48 Can’t you just tell me where you are?
-o-o-
Wonwoo was on his second bottle of beer when he felt a buzz from his pocket. He picked up the phone quickly, thinking it was from Soonyoung.
“Wonwoo-hyung! Where are you??”
Sigh. He couldn’t pinpoint who it was, but he knew too well that it’s not the voice he’s been waiting.
Nevertheless, Wonwoo didn’t hang up.
“Who...?” he asked cautiously.
“Oh my God—you finally pick up!” the voice from the other side sounded so relieved, “this is Chan. Where are you?”
Chan? The only Chan he knew only Lee Chan, Soonyoung's junior in the dance course he took during university days.
If he called him... was it by any chance Soonyoung was with him?
“I'm at a restaurant in Apgujeong... why?” Wonwoo said, "this is Lee Chan, right? Are you with Soonyoung?"
It took a while until he heard Chan responding.
"No... I'm not with him, hyung," he said, so quietly that it almost blurred with the music they played in the restaurant where Wonwoo was.
Wonwoo sighed.
It had taken all his might to stay composed, and after no sign of Soonyoung coming, he has no power left to not be broken.
He started to sniffle.
He had prepared so many things just for this day to come, and he thought his plan would go smoothly—he indeed was still nervous if his proposal would be rejected, but he never thought Soonyoung would not even come to see him. Did he do something wrong, something he didn't realize?
He didn't know whether it's because he's drunk or emotionally exhausted, but he started to rant.
“I was going to have a dinner with Soonyoung... and propose him... you know?" His breath hitched and he stumbled on his words, but he continued, "but he doesn’t come...”
Then tears fell like a dam, he started to sob.
On the other hand, Chan didn't say anything for a while.
"Hyung, you're too drunk, I'll pick you up. Send me your address, okay?"
"What?" Wonwoo was so surprised with the sudden change of topic, "but I—"
-o-o-
It's so heart-breaking to see Wonwoo fell apart, but honestly speaking, it's been hard for Chan too.
"Chan, guess what? We're going to have a fancy date today!"
He saw as his favourite senior bounced in his steps, humming a happy song.
And then he saw as a truck collided with his favourite senior.
He saw as the blood drained from Soonyoung's unconscious body.
And he couldn't remember how bitter his tongue was when he had to call Wonwoo.
“Wonwoo-hyung! Listen—you need to be calm, okay.”
“What are you saying? It’s you who are panicking, Chan." he laughed a bit, "Now, speak.”
“Soonyoung-hyung, he... He got hit by a truck.”
It was cruel. What Soonyoung did was just saving a kid who happened to run in the middle of a street when a high-speed truck came.
"He's an angel, really, a thank you is never enough." Chan held his hyung's back as the kid's family came to greet them. He was also broken inside, but he couldn't let Wonwoo met them alone.
"He is. He really loved kids, I think he'd be happy to help your son." Wonwoo forced a smile. The statement was not a lie, but Chan knew it must be so hard for Wonwoo to hold his frustration to say such a nice remark.
He saw as Wonwoo broke into pieces, as he cut off any contacts to everyone, curling himself in a blanket, crying his heart out loud.
He saw as Wonwoo tried to end his life. And it's not only once. One time, he saw as Wonwoo shove a handful of his sleep pills into his mouth. Another time, he saw fresh cuts on his wrists. And he once found a rope inside his room: He suspected his hyung would try to strangle himself if Chan had not increased the number his daily checks on him.
"Just let me die," Wonwoo said, one time when he was dehydrated and brought to the hospital, "there's no point to life anyway. I need to see Soonyoung."
Chan was so tired to take care of him, both physically and mentally, but there's no way Chan would let that.
That's why Chan tried to bring him for therapy sessions.
It took months until he started to see colours in Wonwoo's face. It was a ton of hard work, and it even had not actually healed him.
That's why Chan didn't have the heart to shove the truth into Wonwoo's face.
"Hyung, Soonyoung-hyung won't come..." he cut Wonwoo's who whined at the phone, "he'd passed away last year."