Archive of Our Own

June

When Jihoon was sixteen, he was asked what he wanted to do for a living from an uppity teacher who had nothing better to do in their small town other than ridicule the kids. He didn’t have an answer back then. His parents tried to ask him the same thing one night at dinner shortly before college application season started. He still didn’t have an answer.

“What do you mean, ‘you don’t know’?” his mother asked him as he pushed his food around his plate.

“Like, I really don’t know,” Jihoon sighed. “Am I supposed to? I’m only eighteen.”

“I knew,” his father breathed out in a heavy gruff.

“Yes, honey but you also had been a science geek for most of our high school career,” his mother glanced over lovingly and Jihoon tried not to gag. His father was the high school science teacher and his mother was a nurse at the local hospital. They both had started out in their respective fields young, straight from high school.

“What if I take a gap year?” Jihoon muttered, finally taking a bite of his food.

“A gap year? Those turn from one year into a lifetime,” his father shook his head, “No.”

“What if I got a job and actively looked into different college majors?” he pleaded, desperation at a peak. Jihoon did not want to start college without any idea of what he wanted to do. He liked to be well thought out and well in tune with his plans for whatever he was doing.

“That doesn’t sound like a bad plan dear,” his mother shot a look over to his father and Jihoon crossed his fingers, praying for any kind of miracle.

“Fine,” Jihoon’s father sighed, “I can see if Seongwoo will let you work at his new shop. I’m sure that will get you started somewhere.”

Jihoon let out a breath, “Thank you. I promise it’ll only be a year.”

He was lucky enough his father knew Seongwoo from when he was in his class and he was about to open his own record shop. When Jihoon’s father asked about a possible job, Seongwoo agreed immediately, rambling about needing the help and how exhausted he was.

So that set in Jihoon’s next move in life. He expected a boring, slow year to where he would go through his existential crisis to-do list:

1. Find out life dream.
2. Save up money for any college/post gap year plans.
3. Come out to his parents.

Maybe just not in that order.

September

“Jihoon,” Seongwoo called out to the front of the store. “Stop sleeping at the front and come here really quickly.”

Jihoon blinked his eyes open and groaned as he trudged his way to the back, “I wasn’t sleeping.”

“Cameras don’t lie,” Seongwoo winked as he pointed to the four security camera screen on his computer in front of him, “I need you to take care of the store while I go and meet up with a new distributor.”

“How long will you be gone?” Jihoon asked, yawning as he spoke.

“You might have to close. I’m not sure yet. I’ll call the store if I’m going to be late,” Seongwoo typed a few more things into his computer before pushing away from his desk. He stood, grabbing his coat from the back of his chair and grabbing a sheet of paper from the printer. “Here’s a list of all the things that have to be done before closing and then the bottom of the list is all the stuff you need to do to close.”

“Y’know, you’re gonna need more employees than just me eventually. I am gonna go to college at some point,” Jihoon grumbled as he took the list.

“Sure, sure,” Seongwoo patted Jihoon on the head and stepped around him, “Don’t burn the place down and don’t play shitty music.”

“Whatever your highness,” Jihoon muttered under his breath, moving to the front as soon as he heard the front door close.

He was about twenty minutes into another nap when the door opened, the soft chimes waking him up. There was a quiet to the store as a soft song played in the background and the customer who had entered the store walked along the back wall, looking along a couple of albums.

Jihoon tried to crane his neck to see who it was. The town of Mara had roughly about five hundred people in it and most everybody knew who each other were. There wasn’t much outside interference since the next town was about a thirty minute drive away. The town relied on the ocean to bring in most of their income since half the population of the town worked on fishing boats at the local docks.

Jihoon considered going into the line of work and even went with his friend Donghan’s father on his boat one time. He was on the boat for only twenty minutes but the sea sickness took over in ten and he was miserable the ten minutes back to shore.

So regardless, Jihoon had to find a different cop out for a career.

When the customer rounded the corner, Jihoon squinted. He had never seen the guy in front of him. He was holding an older version of The Door’s Full Circle with a content smile on his face. Jihoon stopped breathing because, simply, the guy was breathtakingly beautiful . His dark red hair contrasted his skin and his lilting light colored lips. Jihoon followed his sparkled eyes to the other row of albums and tried to figure out how to say something that seemed natural to say. Once the guy stopped searching and made his way to the counter, he stopped about a couple feet back from the register and just stared at Jihoon.

Jihoon couldn’t figure him out. This new guy had an almost inquisitive look in his eyes that lured Jihoon to follow him. He had to talk to him, but only in a way that didn’t seem weird. There was something holding Jihoon back from saying anything. It had to be the way the guy was staring at him. There was an almost sense of knowing in his face that Jihoon was scared of.

“What?” Jihoon retorted. Not the best customer service.

“You’re cute,” the guy shook his head as he stepped up to the register and handed Jihoon the album. The two of them stood in silence as Jihoon tried to figure out what to say to that. He was not expecting him to say something like that.

“You’re okay,” Jihoon had never told such a bold face lie. He was beautiful and Jihoon felt like the stereotypical gay getting flustered over the first cute guy that remotely didn’t feel like a family member.

But this guy was different. His smirk told Jihoon he read him like a book, “I’m more than okay. What’s your name?”

Jihoon had to go back to work but this guy seemed to be the first task he had to do for today. Not in that way. Like… getting to know him. In a strictly platonic way. Not in sexual way. Maybe in a- No. Not that way. Jihoon just knew everybody and he didn’t know this guy.

“I’m Jihoon,” he finally breathed out. That was his name, right? For some reason, looking at the guy in front of him, he couldn’t remember if it actually was.

“My name is Woojin. Thanks for asking,” Woojin (and that beautiful of a name fit with how beautiful he was) grabbed the album in front of him and slid the money for it towards Jihoon. “I just moved here and I have no idea where anything is.”

“I can show you around,” Jihoon offered almost instantly. Woojin let the same smirk from before grow on his face as Jihoon realized just how desperate he sounded.

“I knew you would,” Woojin looked towards the clock, “What time are you off?”

“Three hours?” Jihoon shrugged as he punched in the amount Woojin handed him. The register popped open and Jihoon pulled out his change. The small task allowed him to regroup his thoughts, finally pulling his eyes away from Woojin .

“Do you not know?” Woojin raised an eyebrow as Jihoon handed him his change back.

“Seongwoo is very laid back about when I work as long as it’s a five hour shift. Except I might have to close up the shop today,” Jihoon explained, straightening the papers around the front counter. He was looking for any excuse to not look at Woojin.

“So you’re just extra help then,” Woojin nodded and turned towards the door. Jihoon didn’t have a response but he felt as if there was something else to say. The way Woojin lingered for a moment gave Jihoon a feeling as if he was forgetting something. He racked his brain, running his fingers through his hair.

“Goodbye Jihoon,” Woojin hummed. Jihoon muttered something back, too wrapped up in his own thoughts to really register that Woojin was leaving the store. He would see him later anyways.

Wait. Jihoon finally snapped out of his own confused trance, “Woojin!”

The other was already gone, door closing in finality as Jihoon battled whether to run after him or not. It would be easy to find out where Woojin lived anyways since most around the town gossiped consistently but Jihoon wanted to steer away from the small town creep stereotype that Woojin might have. He slumped against the front counter and put his hand down in front of him, resting his face against the crook of his elbow. His hand touched a small piece of paper with messy, scribbled handwriting across it that Jihoon didn’t recognize.

Text me when you get off. Here’s my number.

Jihoon took out his phone and put in the number as fast as fingers would let him.

Seongwoo had called about thirty minutes before closing and let Jihoon know that he would have to close up alone because the meeting with the distributor was going too well and he wanted to make sure it followed all the way through. It meant that he would be there for another hour and Woojin would have to wait.

As Jihoon went through his small checklist, his mind wandered to the new boy in town. Woojin was just a bit taller than Jihoon himself and his dark red hair was something to marvel at. It was the first thing that drew Jihoon in and made him interested. Not many people in town experimented with their appearance since there weren’t many choices at the local drugstore for boxed dye or the hair salon in town. The color was definitely unnatural and Jihoon wanted to ask him how he did it but that alone made him sound like a sheltered small town creep.

When Jihoon was finally done, he grabbed the extra set of keys in Seongwoo’s office and made his way to the front of the store, flipping off the lights as he went. He did a final look over by the front door and felt confident enough that Seongwoo would appreciate the state he was leaving it in. He walked out, juggling the keys for the store, his own keys, and a couple of records he had bought first thing in the morning. Since working for Seongwoo, Jihoon had started his own record collection of older music that both his father and himself had always enjoyed.

“All done?” Jihoon heard a voice from beside him and he jumped. “Sorry didn’t mean to scare you.”

Woojin was leaning on the wall beside the door, the same smirk on his face as Jihoon placed a hand on his heart. Jihoon let out a short breath and turned back to the door to lock up, “Yeah I’m all done. And you didn’t scare me.”

“You totally jumped like three feet in the air,” Woojin let his smirk double in size.

“Whatever,” Jihoon grumbled, “Were you waiting for me?”

Woojin’s eyes flashed with panic before settling back into his normal teasing glint, “Not entirely. I was over at that gas station getting cigarettes when I noticed it was after you guys closed. I just walked over here like five minutes ago to see if you were still here just in case you didn’t see my note. I saw you inside so I waited.”

“I did,” Jihoon swallowed, “get your note. Um, yeah, I was gonna text you to tell you I got it but I had some stuff to do so I got distracted.”

Woojin shook his head, “It’s fine. You ready to show me around?”

“Yeah,” Jihoon nodded. “I just have to finish locking up and then we can take my car.”

“Forgot people have cars in this small of a town,” Woojin laughed. “When my parents and I drove in, we literally just saw everybody walking everywhere. It was… daunting to say the least.”

“Yeah,” Jihoon scratched the back of his head, locking the store door. He shoved the keys in his hoodie pocket, “I had to beg my parents for a car back in high school because I hated riding the bus. They only got me one because I had good grades that semester.”

“High school already seems forever ago,” Woojin hummed as they started to walk towards Jihoon’s car.

“Where did you go?” Jihoon asked.

“Gaoth. It’s like six hours north of here,” Woojin shrugged. “I was going to go to college there too but I just wasn’t ready for college yet.”

Jihoon let out a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding, “Same here. All my friends went to Bardach about three hours from here but I didn’t want to go if I didn’t know what for, y’know?”

“Exactly!” Woojin’s face brightened and he gave Jihoon a giant smile, revealing a snaggletooth that peeked over his bottom lip. Jihoon tried not to stare but his heart raced when he saw it. It made Woojin look sweeter, like he was black tea before hand and now that Jihoon could see his whole face, bright and happy, somebody poured milk in, sweetening him up to the point it was almost incredulously sweet. If Woojin noticed Jihoon staring at his smile, he didn’t say anything. “I just felt like college is almost unnecessary if you can find something that doesn’t need it and I need time to figure out what I want to do.”

Jihoon shook his head quickly to pull himself back to the conversation, stopping in front of his car, “That’s how I feel. You should tell my parents that so they don’t freak out that I’m like the only one out of my graduating class that isn’t in college.”

“Okay but to be fair, how many were in your graduating class?” Woojin’s smile closed back up and he leaned on the hood of Jihoon’s car. Normally Jihoon would push anybody who dared touch his car without Jihoon giving them permission, but he didn’t even try to get Woojin away.

“Ten,” Jihoon laughed and Woojin joined in, a beautiful sound. “Also Woojin, this is Nala.”

“Nala?” Woojin looked down at the car he was sitting on and the back up to Jihoon, “Like from The Lion King ?”

“It was my favorite movie growing up,” Jihoon scrunched his eyebrows, “If you have a problem with The Lion King , this friendship is going to be very short lived.”

Woojin threw his hands up in surrender, “No, no. No problem. Just didn’t expect it to be named Nala .”

“Expect her,” Jihoon corrected.

“ Sorry ,” Woojin rolled his eyes but his signature smirk told Jihoon he was just teasing, “I didn’t expect her to be named Nala.”

“She accepts your apology,” Jihoon fiddled with his keys in one hand and looked from the ground up to Woojin. When he met Woojin’s eyes, Jihoon had to keep his breath steady from his intense gaze. He cleared his throat, “Um, you ready to go?”

Woojin blinked a couple of times and stood up from the hood quickly, “Y-yeah.”

Jihoon unlocked the car and they both got in without saying another word. Jihoon started the car and threw his bag of records in the back while Woojin buckled himself in. A song started playing from whenever Jihoon had been in the car last.

“Who is this?” Woojin asked, turning up the volume slightly.

“This old eighties band my dad introduced me to. They’re called The Surge . They’re really sappy but I love their use of the synthesizer. It kind of introduced like the way they made music in the nineties,” Jihoon carried on as he pulled out of the small parking lot.

“I’ll have to check them out. They sound pretty good,” Woojin said, pulling out his phone and typing in the band’s name into his notes.  

“They have this one song they dedicated to two of their fans who died back in the eighties. One of them was murdered and the guy’s boyfriend died shortly after that from a car accident. The whole song is about the intertwining of souls and how life makes sure soulmates stay together until the end. It’s pretty deep,” Jihoon rambled. Woojin didn’t stop him. “A lot of their songs present as pop and the genre technically is but their lyrics were ahead of their time. My dad used one of their love songs to ask my mom to marry her back in the nineties. According to my mom, saying yes while ‘ Baby your heart bleeds for me just as I bleed for your pain’ was not the most romantic thing in the world.”

Woojin laughed loudly and Jihoon counted that as a victory, “That’s great.”

“By the way, that’s the highschool and middle school,” Jihoon was driving down Main Avenue at this point, “Next to that is Kim and Kang Grocery. We used to have like a Walmart but it didn’t have much business and got shut down so Jaehwan, this guy who is like barely out of college, bought the building and like everything inside with his inheritance and now he runs it with his best friend Daniel.”

“That’s sketchy,” Woojin leaned back in his seat.

“Yeah, they try their best,” Jihoon held a warm smile on his face as he kept driving. “There’s The Muffin House. Jisung took it over from Mr. Seo about five years ago. He says it’s a bakery, but it’s also a cafe. If you go when Sungwoon is working and order a hot chocolate, he makes it with like the same chocolate they make chocolate cake with and it’s to die for.”

Jihoon turned into Empathy and parked in his usual spot, his eyes glazing over the ‘Open’ sign in the window. “This is our one bar.”

“One bar?” Woojin raised an eyebrow, “Only one?”

“Unfortunately,” Jihoon laughed. “Do you wanna go in? We could have a drink and maybe I can introduce you to some of the regulars there.”

Woojin smirked, “Sure.”

Jihoon was definitely whipped as he stepped outside of his car, staring at Woojin with wide eyes. He grabbed a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket and pulled one out, hanging it from his lips.

“Can I smoke in there?” Woojin asked, his breath materializing in the cold air.

“Nope,” Jihoon stepped closer as he pointed to a sign that had a giant red circle crossing out a pack of cigarettes in the middle of it. He was standing close to Woojin now, the smell of his shampoo flooding Jihoon’s senses. The smell of Woojin’s hair reminded Jihoon of strawberries. If he angled himself just right he could smell the ripe fruit, but he wanted to pull himself back before he got too close.

Woojin glanced up at Jihoon, his eyes sparkling in the dead of night, “Light my cigarette, will you?”

Jihoon looked down at Woojin’s outstretched hand, holding the lighter out for him. “Why do I need to light it for you?”

“Superstition,” Woojin chuckled, “I don’t like to light my own cigarettes. I don’t know why but bad things happen when I do.”

Jihoon took the lighter, flicking it to life as he brought the small flame to the tip of Woojin’s cigarette. He breathed in the smoke, letting it all out again, encasing the two of them in a hazy smoke of nicotine and strawberries.

October

Woojin slowly became a staple in Jihoon’s life. There wasn’t a day that he didn’t see the new boy in town and he couldn’t tell if he was grateful for the new friend or regretful for not pursuing his feelings a bit more in the beginning. (Jihoon basically chickened out when he didn’t flirt back with Woojin every time the younger would try. He would usually blush and stammer, changing the subject quickly and acting like it didn’t happen.) They would meet at Empathy almost as soon as Jihoon would get off of work and drink with either Taehyun-the drama teacher at the high school-or Donghan-Jihoon’s only other friend.

When Donghan and Woojin met, he could tell there was a tension in the air between them. He couldn’t place it at the time, but looking back, it was almost as if Woojin was jealous of Donghan. Jihoon credited it to the fact that Woojin just wanted to be closer to Jihoon as Donghan was to Jihoon.

The nights that Kenta joined them, Woojin seemed more at ease. Kenta had been dating Donghan for a good three years now. Jihoon had practically set them up in high school.

Donghan had been pining after the sweetheart of their class and when Jihoon had found out that Kenta was in fact just as gay as the other two were (although neither Kenta or Donghan knew he was gay yet), he convinced Kenta to give Donghan a chance and finally date.

Jihoon was ecstatic for them. It was his idea of a great conversation starter that night at dinner too.

“Donghan and Kenta started dating,” he brought up, pushing his pees around his plate.

“Started… dating?” his father coughed awkwardly.

“Yes,” Jihoon nodded. He avoided looking at his parents.

“Aren’t they… well…” his father took it a step farther and hid his mouth as he looked down at his own plate.

“Good for them,” his mother cut him off with a clipped tone and the conversation dropped.

Jihoon never brought them up again nor did he even think of trying to start another conversation in the same field. Donghan also stopped spending the night at his house after Jihoon mentioned the nature of the conversation, which Jihoon didn’t blame him at all for.

Donghan was one of the only other friends who didn’t leave town for college, instead opting for an apprenticeship on the docks and now that Woojin was around, he barely saw the other.

Jihoon still accepted the fact that Woojin was slowly becoming more important than Donghan. He could rely heavily on the other, who was more open about his own sexuality than Jihoon was with his own. Jihoon still remembered the night Woojin drunkenly blurted his way out of the closet.

“Guys,” Woojin hiccuped and he leaned forward, putting his weight on his forearm, “I have a secret to tell you.”

Jihoon could feel the rush of heat rush to his cheeks as he took another swig of his whiskey, “Dear lord what could it be?”

Woojin wrapped his arms around Donghan and Kenta’s shoulders and brought them close, his breath undoubtedly smelling like rum from the rum and coke he was downing, “I’m very gay.”

“That’s obvious,” Kenta laughed and Jihoon wanted to question it, because while yes, the two of them flirted, it could be misconstrued as just a very comfortable friend.

“Really?” Woojin laughed, a drunken hiccup escaping his lips and Jihoon had to hold himself back from trying to lean over and kiss them.

“Very, Park Number Two,” Donghan sighed, sliding a hand into Kenta’s.

“Why am I Number Two?” Woojin scrunched his eyebrows.

“Because we knew that Park first,” Kenta jabbed a thumb from his free hand in Jihoon’s direction and Woojin glanced over at him, a smile breaking out over his face.

“I forgot you were here!” Woojin cried out, his smile taking up half of his face.

“Still here Park Number Two,” Jihoon took another sip of whiskey and leaned back in the chair.

Woojin moved to sit back down next to Jihoon and wrapped an arm around Jihoon’s shoulders. “You’ll always be Number One to me too.”

Jihoon tried to ignore the thumping in his heart. He just really wanted to bask in the heat surrounding him and expanding from Woojin’s arm. Woojin was a touchy drunk and Jihoon basically knew not to take it personally, but the tiny bit of hope he had was almost doubling every time he touched Jihoon.

“Good, as I should be,” Jihoon muttered, finishing off his drink in a hurry.

November

Woojin and Jihoon were sprawled across Jihoon’s bed, scrolling endlessly on their phone as the boredom of the late Saturday air rolled along the floors of his bedroom. A deep sigh left Woojin’s lips as he leaned up, dropping his phone next to him.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he let out a dramatic sigh and Jihoon rolled his eyes. “I’m serious Jihoonie. I can’t do it. I need to do something unboring .”

“I don’t think unboring is a word,” Jihoon talked over the blush growing on his face from the nickname Jihoonie.

“There’s got to be something you haven’t explored in this town yet,” Woojin groaned, “Fuck, we could even go hiking for all I care. I just need to do something instead of laying on your bed for another goddamn second.”

“Hey my bed is a great time passer,” Jihoon frowned.

Woojin opened his mouth and closed it again, shaking his head before he stood up, “Come on. We’re going to the woods over by the cafe. We can pick up some coffee from Jisung if you want before we go.”

“Yeah, I’m sure coffee on a hike isn’t totally fucking weird,” Jihoon huffed but went to go stand anyways. “Let me change and grab some better shoes.”

Jihoon moved to his closet, grabbing the first pair of jeans he could find. He slid out of his sweatpants and pulled on the jeans, paying no attention to what Woojin was doing. He grabbed a hoodie and threw it over his shirt, sliding into a pair of sneakers as he turned to his friend. Woojin was standing awkwardly by the door, his eyes on anything but Jihoon.

“Ready?” he squeaked out and Jihoon nodded, pushing past him and out the door.

“You?” Jihoon called over his shoulder in a rush. Woojin jogged behind him, a laugh flowing with him.

The cafe was packed as much as it could be for a small town cafe. Everybody was there to either study, warm up, or try one of Sungwoon’s cakes. Jihoon and Woojin were stood in line, debating heavily between getting a muffin or a scone for their impromptu hike. Once they got to the front, Woojin ordered for them, getting both anyways so they can share between them.

The hike started slow, but for once, they were quiet enough to enjoy the scenery around them. They started at a trail just behind the cafe and made their way deep into the woods, a silence enclosing them as they got near the ocean. Once they stumbled upon the estuary, Jihoon knew they had found a secluded spot.

“I’ve never been here before,” Jihoon muttered.

“See!” Woojin exclaimed, a wide smile showcasing his snaggletooth again, “I knew there were places in this town you haven’t been before.”

“You got me there,” Jihoon looked over and felt a tug on his heart. “So much I haven’t explored yet.”

“Oh yeah? Like what else?” Woojin teased sitting on a rock and swinging his legs carelessly.

Jihoon let out a little breath and leaned forward to sit next to him. The water flowed just centimeters below them and Jihoon chuckled, “Telling people the truth.”

“Truth?” Woojin puffed out his cheeks and crossed his arms over his knees.

“Yeah,” Jihoon nodded and figured now was as good a time as any if he wanted to get things off his chest, “I’m very gay too Woojin.”

Woojin turned to Jihoon with a wide grin, chewing on part of the muffin they had saved earlier, “Really?”

“Yes really, muffin mouth,” Jihoon shoved him away a little. “Just thought you should know.”

“Does anybody else know?” Woojin swallowed and offered the last piece to him.

He took it, a sigh leaving his mouth, “Nope. Just you.”

December

Jihoon was screwed.

It wasn’t even the fact that Woojin was practically the best friend anybody could ask for, but it was the fact that Jihoon was falling in love with his new best friend and god forbid he actually have feelings other than just friendly love for once in his life. He couldn’t talk to his mom about it and he was sure that if he told Donghan about it, he have to explain why he didn’t come out to him as well as explain how inexplicably in love he was with Woojin.

No, he couldn’t tell anybody.

Even if it meant suffering alone as he rode on the back of Woojin’s fucking motorcycle all the way to another town just for a goddamn fair that Woojin begged Jihoon to go with him to.

Because he couldn’t just say no to Woojin.

So he buried his feelings and wrapped his arms around Woojin’s waist and suffered for three hours the entire way there. He wished Nala was in better condition for them to take it, but instead they had to settle on Woojin’s bike and he was regretting every second of it.

When they got there, Woojin was like a little child, enjoying every moment of the fair, dragging Jihoon from ride to ride, paying for it all. Jihoon felt like it was almost a date, but with less kissing than he would like.

When he saw a familiar pair, his heart dropped and he could feel the same rush of anxiety he usually got when he was reminded that his life was going nowhere.

“Jihoon!” a squeaky voice called over the crowd separating the pairs. “It is you!”

“Who’s that?” Woojin asked, a mouth full of cotton candy.

“Daehwi and Jinyoung. These two guys I was close with in high school,” Jihoon swallowed thickly, his head spinning. “You don’t have to talk to them if you don’t want to.”

“Cool,” Woojin pulled out his phone as Jihoon got tackled by a flurry of limbs and brown hair.

Once he pulled the two away from him, Jihoon huffed, “Hey you two.”

“Haven’t seen you since June!” Dawhi laughed, his voice returning to a normal volume.

“Oh, yeah,” Jihoon grimaced, “Just been working for Seongwoo in his record shop. How are classes for you guys?”

“Boring,” Jinyoung shrugged, his eyes moving to Woojin. Daehwi followed his gaze and raised an eyebrow at the other who was too distracted by a video on his phone to pay any mind to the conversation the three were having.

“Jihoon, is this your boyfriend?” Daehwi asked and for a split second, Jihoon almost says yes.

“No,” he swallowed and he could almost imagine the metaphorical giant pill of the fact that he might never say yes to that question when it comes to Woojin. “This is Woojin. He moved to town about two months after you two left.”

Daehwi looked from Woojin to Jihoon, “Oh.”

“What?” Jihoon glanced back at Woojin who wore the same face of faux-boredom he usually did when Jihoon began talking to somebody he didn’t really know.

“Nothing,” Daehwi shook his head, “Not to abruptly change the subject, but have you thought about the end of your gap year at all?”

Jihoon grimaced and tried to focus on the lights of the ferris wheel. He had told Daehwi that he was just taking a gap year when they had started applying to colleges to ease his friend’s worries. Now he was stuck in his lie. There wasn’t much he could say other than no because he’s been too focused on being in love with his best friend but he couldn’t say that in front of said best friend. Jihoon shrugged, “Maybe college. It depends.”

“On?” Daehwi sighed, “You can’t just not do something with your life. You’re Park Fucking Jihoon. What happened to your strong confidence level and fuck all attitude?”

Woojin chuckled and Jihoon turned with wide eyes to the source of the noise, “Can’t imagine that.”

“Fuck off,” Jihoon scoffed. He could still be like that. There was a chance of redemption for that Park Jihoon.

“You first,” Woojin coughed, “I’m gonna go get the funnel cake I’ve been craving.”

As soon as Woojin was out of earshot, Daehwi pulled Jihoon closer, “When are you going to tell him?”

“Tell him what?” Jihoon asked.

“That you love him,” Daehwi rolled his eyes as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. And maybe it was, but Woojin was so oblivious to everything but his own thoughts.

“Never,” and the finality in Jihoon’s voice made Daehwi shut up. They went their separate ways shortly after that and Woojin was too excited about the ferris wheel to even ask about anything that Jihoon had been talking with Daehwi about.

They loaded on, showing their wristbands to the attendee and Jihoon could feel his anxiety spike. Heights had never really mixed with him very well so the thought of spinning on a giant big wheel terrified him. He leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes, focusing on Woojin’s breathing beside him.

“Do Daehwi and Jinyoung know?” Woojin finally spoke, breaking the silence.

“Not technically but Daehwi’s kind of psychic that way,” Jihoon sighed, “He always asked if I was back in school but I always said no.”

“Oh,” Woojin nodded, “So I’m still the only person you’ve told.”

The ferris wheel lurched forward and Jihoon scrambled to grab Woojin’s hand, a nervous whimper leaving his lips as he did so. The other laced his fingers in between Jihoon’s and squeezed tightly. Jihoon tried to focus on just that fact. Woojin was now holding JIhoon’s hand and there was nothing he could do about it now except focus on that. The ride began to spin and Jihoon could feel his anxiety smother a bit more, his head focusing on the giant Christmas tree in the middle of the fair. The only thing that was larger than the tree was the ferris wheel so there was a nice view of all of the rides around them. The lights sparkled beneath them and he was more focused on the spell of air that was leaving his chest to appreciate them.

“Are you afraid of heights Jihoon?” Woojin asked, squeezing his hand tighter.

“Not usually,” Jihoon shook his head, “but something about this is scaring me.”

Woojin nodded, “Just breathe. I’m here.”

Maybe that was the issue, but he couldn’t focus on anything except the warm feeling of Woojin’s hand in his.

The drive home was silent as could be between to boys on a motorcycle. Jihoon figured that Woojin would just stay the night like he usually did but when they got to Jihoon’s house, he didn’t move to get off of his bike.

“You coming in?” Jihoon asked.

Woojin hesitated, “I don’t think I should.”

Jihoon titled his head to the side in confusion and just looked over at Woojin, “What?”

“Don’t worry about it Jihoon,” Woojin waved a hand at him. “Meet me tomorrow at the estuary. I have something to show you.”

Jihoon just nodded and watched Woojin back out of his driveway, speeding off towards his own house. There was a lilt in the night and Jihoon was afraid he missed something.

The next day when he met up with Woojin, the younger boy was already at the estuary, excitement in his eyes as he showed Jihoon the “Kim and Kang Grocery” proudly. Jihoon squeezed his lips together and raised an eyebrow. “I got a job, dumbass.”

“Oh!” Jihoon shook his head, “I just thought you bought one of those shirts. They sell those too.”

“Nope! I start tomorrow,” Woojin let out a smile, snaggletooth on display for only Jihoon to see in the small area, creeks pushing forward to the ocean bank.

“Look at you, doing something with your life!” Jihoon laughed.

“I’m just saving money so we can do more. Still don’t know if this is relatively speaking doing something with my life,” Woojin laughed. “I hate that you pay for so much.”

“You know it never bothers me,” Jihoon shook his head as he sat on their favorite rock. It was positioned in a place that overlooked all of the creeks and the beginning of the ocean. The trees blocked off most of their hideaway, but the peak of the ocean made it just a bit more serene.

Woojin sat next to him, t-shirt balled up in his hands as he did so, “Are you proud of me?”

“Very,” Jihoon smirked, “You’re like a real adult now.”

“Oh yeah, begging Daniel for a job and bribing him with a twelve pack of beers was totally my way of being an adult,” Woojin laughed. “Apparently they’re not even hiring right now and Jaehwan is gonna be pissed when he finds out but Daniel said they need the help more than they need to meet the budget.”

“Sounds fair enough,” Jihoon sighed, leaning back to lay against the large rock. “I’m excited for you to start.”

“Thanks,” Woojin squinted up at the sun and then back down at Jihoon, “I’m just happy to be doing something instead of just waiting for you to get off work.”

Jihoon wished he could take that to mean that Woojin did nothing but think of Jihoon all day, “Dude.”

“I mean, like you’re my best friend Jihoon like, it’s weird to imagine that for right now we’re fine but come August, our parents kind of expect us to go somewhere and make a decision that affects the rest of our lives,” Woojin slung the shirt over his shoulder. “I’m just enjoying right now.”

“Who knows if I’m even going to college anymore?” Jihoon grumbled.

“OH no,” Woojin shook his head, “You have to. And you have to go to the same one as me. Like, if you’re home and I’ll be hours away and we won’t be near each other anymore, I can’t handle that. It’s not an easy concept to grasp.”

“Woojin-”

“You’ve become my best friend Jihoon and I can’t imagine my life without you.”

March

The new year brought about busier schedules for the both of them. Woojin became a manager at Kim and Kang Grocery within a few months and Jihoon felt pride swell in him when he found out about it. Jihoon started working just as much as Seongwoo did to help keep the record shop afloat in the small town. Apparently there weren’t many stores around them so Jihoon suggested going to different colleges and putting up advertisements there to help bring in business from other towns.

“That’s a great idea Jihoon! You should go and then you could look a few different colleges as well!” Seongwoo gasped when he brought it up.

“Oh,” Jihoon saw how that idea backfired personally. “Yeah I could do that.”

“Your dad did tell me your arrangement so I really think that you should try and look while you’re there,” Seongwoo moved to their safe where he kept most of their money from the day. “How about you and Woojin go? I’m sure he could take a few days off from Kim and Kang’s to drive with you!”

“Nala can’t handle the drive though,” Jihoon started to backtrack, trying to get out of the extra work he signed himself up for, “Woojin has a motorcycle and I’m not about to drive three to six hours just to put up some advertisements.”

“You can take my car!” Seongwoo offered immediately. “I don’t have to go out of town for a while and everything is in walking distance. Seriously this will be good for business and I can maybe afford to pay you more.”

“Deal,” Jihoon grabbed the keys from Seongwoo’s desk and moved to gather his stuff.

“Slow down, kid,” Seongwoo laughed, his hands on his hips and it reminded Jihoon of how the overdone characters in animes would laugh. “We have to plan this through.”

Woojin heard road trip and he was on board, “How long?”

“A week at the most. Every night will be in a different town. It’s to help boost business,” Jihoon explained. “Seongwoo apparently called Daniel and got you the days off so you don’t have to worry about that.”

“When do we leave?” he was practically bouncing on his toes in the small bar.

“Tomorrow. Seongwoo’s gonna finalize the hotels and such tonight and he’ll give us gas and food money too,” Jihoon sipped on his beer. “You in?”

“Totally,” Woojin breathed out. “I mean, anything to help you out.”

Jihoon could feel his body trying to fight the familiar blush that crept up his neck, “I don’t know what I did to deserve a friend like you, Woojin.”

His smile deflated a little before he spoke again, “Me either, Park Number One.”

Jihoon begged his mom to help him pack so he wouldn’t forget anything because it would be his luck that he definitely would. He was telling her everything they would be doing when it happened.

“So Woojin and I would be staying in Bardach for the first night since it’s the closest and-” Jihoon was mid explanation.

“So are you and Woojin dating?” she interrupted

“What mom?” Jihoon could feel a cold sweat start almost instantly.

“Oh honey can we stop pretending you’re straight. Your father and I know,” she put one of his folded shirts in his suitcase.

“What?” Jihoon doesn’t quite understand. He was just packing and talking to his mom. He didn’t want to have this conversation yet but so far it was already going better than anytime he imagined it.

“A good, attentive parent knows, Jihoon. Now tell me, are you two dating? Because that is something we would be angry about. If you two were dating and you didn’t tell us. We like to know these things Jihoon.” she stuffed another shirt in and zipped up the bag

“No, we’re not mom. We’re just friends.” Jihoon grimaced.

“Damn, I owe your dad ten bucks.”

Jihoon pulled up to Woojin’s house early the next morning, their day starting out with the small three hour drive through different towns on the way to Bardach. They were too excited for the trip to start for Jihoon to reveal his big announcement to Woojin. Once they were on the road and finally driving, he waited until Woojin was comfortable in the passenger’s seat.

“I’m out to my parents,” he tried to sound casual but he could hear the nerves in his throat clawing their way out.

“What?” Woojin’s voice amplified in the small car.

Jihoon swerved a little in shock before he regained himself, “Yeah, we um, were talking last night and my mom just kind of told me she knew. Then my dad came in and she filled him in and we all talked about it.”

“Just, that casual?” Woojin ran a hand through his hair, red strands getting tangled between his fingers.

“Yep,” Jihoon nodded, “Now everything is kind of, I don’t know, going right.”

“Yeah,” Woojin muttered and they fell silent, the drive being the primary focus for a bit. He squirmed in his seat a bit, his eyes casting over to Jihoon as he drove, “I’m proud of you though.”

“Thanks,” Jihoon blushed involuntarily. Yeah, things were working out for him just fine.

That night, in a queen sized bed (Seongwoo blamed the lack of  a two double bed room on last minute planning), Jihoon allowed himself to watch Woojin fall asleep, his breath soft between them. Once Woojin was asleep, he slipped his hand over the other’s and he tried to still his beating heart.

When he woke up, Woojin was sitting up, a cigarette hanging from his lips as he flicked a couple of ashes into the ashtray next to him. Jihoon shifted around in the bed and Woojin glanced down at him,  “I got accepted to Gaoth.”

The room went quiet as Jihoon tried to understand what was happening. “That’s six hours away.”

“So apply with me. You still can,” Woojin breathed in harshly and the cigarette amber moved faster as it burned away. Jihoon swallowed and he could feel the anxiety of his future looming above him. “If we’re together how bad could it be?”

June

Jihoon avoided all talk of college after their trip, the thought of Woojin leaving as scary as the future itself. They had known each other almost a year and it was turning into such a co-dependent relationship that Jihoon was frightened at the thought of him leaving. When Woojin brought in boxes from Kim and Kang’s to start packing, Jihoon tried to push down all of his tears, forcing himself to help anyways.

Woojin never pushed Jihoon to apply but there was a looming anger that Jihoon never did anyways. He wanted to, but the fear every time he started the application that he wouldn’t get in clouded his thoughts.

“Late admission deadline is this week Jihoon,” Woojin breathed out as Jihoon helped him pack up his father’s van. The plan was that Jihoon was going to drive with him, help him move in, and then drive the van back. “I leave like tomorrow.”

“I know,” Jihoon nodded, “I’ll do the application tonight. You can watch me.”

Jihoon was serious too. His own father was pressuring him and he couldn’t breathe anymore. He had to leave and Woojin felt safe. If Woojin said it would be okay, he knew it would be.

“One last night at the estuary?” Woojin offered and Jihoon felt himself nodding. “We can apply over the phone and you can just finish it on your laptop when we get back to my place.”

“Meet you there later?” Jihoon asked as they loaded up the last box. Woojin nodded and Jihoon left to give himself some time to breathe.

He ended up doing the application without Woojin, something to distract him from the looming thoughts of ‘what if’ .

Woojin was already there, a flashlight in hand as he sat next to the creek the closest to the ocean. “Hey.”

“I finished the application,” Jihoon breathed out and he barely finished his sentence before Woojin was close, lips against his own. They pressed closer, deepening the kiss underneath the night sky. When they pulled away, Woojin was almost in tears. “What? Why are you crying?”

“I’ve been wanting to do that since I met you,” Woojin rushed out, “And now I’m leaving tomorrow and I don’t want to leave you but I have to.”

“ Oh, ” Jihoon wrapped his arms around Woojin’s neck and brought him closer.

“Come with me or let me have you tonight,” Woojin breathed out. Jihoon didn’t say anything but instead opted to kissing him roughly.

When Jihoon woke up the next morning, he was in Woojin’s bed without Woojin there. He tried to remember leaving the estuary but could only remember the way that Jihoon was pressed against Woojin in the bed later in the night.

He looked around, no sign of Woojin around him.

So he ran. The van was already gone outside and Woojin’s parents weren’t anywhere in sight. He ran to his house, but nobody had seen Woojin and he wasn’t answering his phone.

Jihoon ran until he was at the estuary, the only other place he could think of to find Woojin. But he wasn’t there. Tears flooded his eyes and the next thing he knew, he was on the creek bed, crying harder than he’s ever cried before.

He kept crying until he could feel a hand on his shoulder. He snapped his head up and nearly started crying again when Woojin’s smug ass was smiling down at him.

“You asshole!” Jihoon struggled to get out through tears, “I thought you left.”

“No,” Woojin shook his head, “I was about to.”

Jihoon’s head snapped up and more tears were threatening to spill over, “What?”

“But I can’t leave without you. So if you weren’t going to go with me, then I wasn’t going to go,” Woojin leaned forward and pressed a kiss against Jihoon’s forehead. “So if you wanna stay here, let’s stay here.”

“No,” Jihoon scoffed and pressed a hand to Woojin’s forehead, pushing him back, “You’re going to college.”

“But you don’t-” Woojin looked at him with a sideways glance.

“I’m going to figure out. I’m going with you, you fucking idiot but I have to have to get all my stuff together and we need a place we can both live in and that’s big enough for a dog because we’re gonna get a dog together and if you don’t have all the stuff already, I can’t go because I have a lot of records and books that I have to bring and I need to have time to plan this with my parents plus I was like two days away from signing a lease you fuck so I need to get my security deposit back from Mr. Noca so how about you give me some warning next time?” Jihoon rambled, his hand still on Woojin’s forehead.

Woojin started to laugh and leaned into Jihoon’s hand, a warm smile blossoming on his face. The look was serene and Jihoon wanted to save it in his mind for all of time, “Okay.”

“So you’re going to get back into your van, we’re going to drive to your new place, and we’re going to plan this out so I don’t have to stress out,” Jihoon instructed.

Woojin looked up at him and nodded his head. Only then did Jihoon finally move his hand, bringing it to Woojin’s cheek instead. He leaned into and Jihoon scooted closer so he could press his lips lightly against Woojin’s.

Yeah, they were going to be okay.