Chapter Text
My name is Karkat Vantas and I've recently come into a new job, it's a great opportunity really. I'm a body guard for hire, one of the younger ones. Haven't really been getting much work lately but that doesn't matter as long as it pays well. This job is special though, it's for a Dersite prince. Not the future king thank gods, but his younger brother. I don't know nor do I care what happened to his past body guard. One of the many perks is that it's a live in job too, I've never had one myself but free room and board sounds like a dream. The risk of getting shot is still there but you doubt that'll happen. I'm in the middle of packing when I hear a gentle Knock-knock-na-knock-knock "Come in." it's the same beat we always use, shave and a hair cut. "What is it Kankri?" I silently pray to any and all gods he isn't here to give me a long speech.
"Hello Karkat, I was just wondering if you were done packing?" this doesn't sound like a speech but one never knows "I'm leaving soon myself and I just want to make sure you get this," he holds out a small red box tied up with a shiny black ribbon. "it's a going away gift, nothing much, just something to remind you of home." I take the box and untie the ribbon, slipping it into my back pocket. Nestled into a mess of padding is a chain with a small pendant with a cancer sign carved on it. Our family names are engraved on the back. "It's a locket, I've already put a picture of us in it."
"Thanks Kankri, I'll be seeing you around." and for the first time in gods know I give my brother a hug, I love him and all but he's got a real holier than thou attitude. "I'll make sure I write, love you. Don't get shot."
"You too little brother." he gives me one more fast hug and I'm sent off with my duffel bag to catch the limo. A limo. They sent a limo! I've had cars sent but nothing nice. I stand there, jaw on the floor until a tinted window rolls down and out leans a mop of blonde hair and some mirror shades.
"Yo! Get in the car!" I don't know who this guy is but he's rude and also probably head of security. I climb into the car and place my duffel bag on the floor. "Nice to meetcha." he holds out a hand and nods while I shake it.
"Karkat Vantas, likewise."
"You're a lot younger than most guards." I try to stay professional but ultimately fail, in my defense that's a dumb thing to say.
"Who the fuck are you? And who sends a limo to pick up some guard?" Shade's eyebrows shoot up over his glasses, must not be used to being talked back to...he should get used to it.
"Well two birds one stone, David Strider. Second prince of Derse." oh fuck.
"I am so sorry sir! I just..." he cuts me off before I can properly beg for my job.
"It's good, most people out here wouldn't really know what I look like, and the limo may have been a bit much."
"Do you send a fucking limo to pick up all of your new guards? Or am I important?" It's mostly a joke but he smiles, he's got braces.
"You're important alright, being my personal guard and all." That wasn't at all what you were told.
"Listen, I'm not babysitting some seventeen-year-old..." He puts a hand up and interrupts.
"I'm in my twenties. I'm only twenty-two." I don't conceal my shock well enough I suppose "It's the braces isn't it? Now that that's cleared up....finish the sentence." His hard expression doesn't fit his face.
"I don't keep tabs on the royal family, I thought I'd have to watch some teen brat," you're gonna get fired "Wait no. That's not what I meant! I just meant...." thankfully he cuts you off before you can dig yourself a deeper hole.
"The word is brat. You don't have to keep tabs on my family, just me." I'm starting to think the dumb shades are so he doesn't blind himself with his mouthful of metal.
"Listen, when I read personal guard I assumed I'd be working with the whole family." He laughs at you, a group of odd monotone barks. It's strange yes but not forced.
"Each of us has our own, like knights. Dirks got Jake," the few times you've seen news of the Dersite royal family the heir to the thrones been tailed by a short guard "Roxy's got Callie, and Rose has Kanaya. I'm only getting one now. It's unfair really, I'm older than Rose! She's barely in line for the throne," so is he, being third in line there's no chance of him becoming king. His voice is getting more annoying, especially with how he talks about you like a shiny Saint's day toy. "But now I've got you. Honestly you were the only candidate who hit the mark, perfect really." He leans closer, even with the shades I can tell he's looking me over.
"Excuse me Sir but it's rude to stare. Didn't you get sent to finishing school or something? I was given a notice that I'd been selected for this without actually applying if I remember correctly. Could you please tell me what's up with that?" he sits back, crossing his long legs over each other. The guys built like a fucking string bean.
"See they tried the private tutors thing, never really payed attention to manners lessons. And you didn't necessarily 'apply', I was given a variety of promising choices," he doesn't seem the type to get excited easily, but now that he's talking about stuff he's...a bit frightening. "Like I said, you're just perfect." His voice sounds strange at that, there's no reasoning behind it but it makes me feel like I'm being messed with. Like a cat playing with it's prey before laying the final blow.
"So what does that mean? I'm honored that I fit the qualifications but I'd like to know why."
"Oh simple, you're the closest to my age for starts. Your file says you were born in Prospit right? I think that's really cool, most of our personal guards are Prospitian. I think you're the only one who's lived in both prior to the job, makes you objectively cooler," this is irritating, he chose you based solely on dumb shit "That's not even mentioning your resume! You've got a ton of good references. I think it all adds up to you being the best guard." Okay so you judged a bit too fast, he didn't make the best impression though "Who cares about me though, tell me about yourself Kitkat." That would be the final straw, but being a good guard and having costumer service experience, you manage to manifest more from the fucking void. Gods bless you and your infinite patience.
"Sir, it's Karkat. To start on information about me, I don't like being treated like a new toy. What else would you like to know?" He cocks his head and purses his lips for second.
"Feisty, I like it. My apologies though, but as your boss as well as crown Prince I think I'm allowed to make up code-names, and yours is Kitkat." It's not a code name it's stupid. The void may be running out of straws.
"I could always quit." he shakes his head and frowns
"Under normal circumstances yes, but I want you to be my guard." For someone who insists that hes not a rich teenager he acts like one.
"Well then, how'd you treat your past guards? If it's anything like this then they must be the majority of asylum population." he shrugs and readjusts his shades.
"Never had a past guard, and it's not like Rosie needed one before me...Well maybe. It's just how they treat their guards, I'm not sure what you mean."
"They're wrong, guards aren't toys. I have a job to do, and that job is to keep you safe." You will admit that it wasn't quite clear on the other tasks, but how bad could it be?
"You're taking the place of a normal servant...kinda? It's still mostly guards work, trust me. Also you're certainly similar to a new toy. I asked and I received." I breath deeply and slowly in an effort not to yell, I feel like I'm talking to a child.
"I'm sure that you didn't whine and beg to your parents about this. Sir you need to learn the difference, I'm a person, not some gift wrapped in a bow under a wreath."
"Oh I wish, that's how Jake showed up for Dirk, I'm not sure Dirk knew that was happening though...but no that is what I did. I had to beg mother, father couldn't care less, eventually I wore her down and let me choose. Like a puppy from a pen," the limo stops with the slightest of jerks, I barely noticed it moving really and what should be a long trip felt like minutes. He turns towards the window and grins "Welcome to your new place, let's go." I reach for the door, but he pats my hand away "I've got it, don't need your help with everything." He holds the door open for me, and then hands me my bag. It's strange being on this side of it. The Derse palace is huge and imposing. It looks like it's carved straight from the sheer mountain face, it lacks all the roundness of Prospit, made of sharp, tall spires and cold brick. It's creepy and the opposite of inviting but the prince looks at it with a fondness clear in his face.
"Sir, is there any specific way I should address you? A simple work thing. He cannot fuck this up.
"Daddy." He managed, you doubt even Skaia could predict this.
"No."
"Then last name I suppose." Just calling him Strider feels unprofessional.
"Okay Mr. Strider, thanks. May I ask where I'll be staying?"
"Yeah sure, just follow me and try to keep up."
Keeping up proves difficult, while sitting he doesn't look nearly as tall as he is, standing he seems well over six feet. His legs take long, confidant strides, and I struggle to keep pace. He drags me up flights of curling stairs, all taken two at a time, and around twisting corners before eventually we come to a red door set into the stone. It looks like a dungeon entrance but he opens it and drags me inside, kicking the door shut behind him. It takes me a second to realize these are his quarters. The room is very red, a large four post bed is set between two small windows, carved directly into the brick the heavy curtain around it is pulled mostly shut. Closer to the door there's a four panel partition screen and a wardrobe, it doesn't seem to be in use though judging by the amount of clothes scattered across the floor. The only truly clean surface is the area around a pair of pristine turntables. There's a small offset room with a love seat set across a fireplace with a television above it. There's a small cage on the balcony, empty and open.
The room exudes richness, the wood and stone work is fantastically detailed, mostly with delicate carvings of birds in flight. The bed has enough velvet to swim in from the small amount of it you can see, and the love-seat looks soft enough to sink into. The cage on the balcony is made of delicate, thin gold bars, it looks like it's never been used it's so shiny.
"Mr. Strider where exactly will I be resting? I'm assuming my quarters will be attached to yours," I trail off and wait for him to answer, he finally points towards the large bed silently. "You...want me to sleep in you bed? Mr. Strider I'm not a dog. That's not happening."
"No, you have to."
"Mr. Strider. No."
"You have to."
"No. I don't have to do that. Just because you are my boss doesn't mean I've got to do every inane thing you ask."
"No, you literally have to sleep in my bed." I sigh deeply but attempt to play along with him.
"Would kindly explain to me why?"
"So you know how Derse is a mountain kingdom?" of course, I nod "It gets really cold this far north, and me and my siblings sleep in these towers. Like it's pretty sick, it's just that it's really cold. We've got fireplaces of course but it'd be wasteful to burn wood at all times. It would take from the kingdom, we only burn it when it gets bad. We just use these hella good blankets, but fun fact blankets only really work if you're already warm. Otherwise it's just cold and heavy. My family specifically has," he pauses to find the word "trouble getting and staying warm. So we've gotta have someone sleeping with us. Wait no that sounds gross. It's just someone sleeping in the same bed. I'll freeze to death otherwise."
"What if your windows had panes?" maybe insulating the place would help, but he barks out another weird laugh like what you just said was hilarious.
"We've tried, the glass cracks. It can never stand up." I don't believe him but I don't know enough about glass to be sure.
"Fine. I'll sleep in your bed. Don't touch me please."
"I've gotta, how am I supposed to steal heat from you otherwise." That sounds strange but not as strange as being paid to cuddle a man so he won't freeze.
"It sounds fake but I agree sir." He smiles and his braces glint coldly. They sure are big attention grabbers.
"Great, I've got a question though. Nothing big but..." he mutters the rest, scratching at the back of his head.
"I'm sorry? I couldn't hear you."
"What do you sleep in?" Good Gods.
"I sleep in clothes. I hope you weren't hoping to cop a feel sir." his pale skin lights up red, it spreads to the tips of his too big ears.
"No! Of course not. Jake sleeps nude though and while neither of them care I do. It'd be weird, especially if I'm fully clothed and we barely know each other," He mumbles on quietly for himself until a sharp rap comes from the door. "Come in."
A similarly pale man pops his head in, his shades are large and angular. He and Dave are nearly identical. The only difference is that he looks a bit sharper and that his nose is a different shape. He's also a fair bit shorter....he looks taller on tv "I wanted to know if you'd gotten back yet," he greets me with a nod before turning back to Dave "I assume you've told him about the full extent of his job?"
"Just did, we're all clear here."
"Good," Dirk nods sharply and turns to me "Take care of my little brother. He's not the brightest."
"Dirk! If you don't need anything else please leave." Dave keeps his jaw clenched but before Dirk can leave I interrupt.
"You sleep with you guard, right your majesty?" I'm not quite sure that's the right way to refer to him but he doesn't care. The little color in Dirk's face drains.
"What makes you think that?" his voice is tight, and his jaw clenched. There is definitely something going on with him and his guard.
"Mr. Strider told me of your condition? I just wanted to make sure that was true. You're family does have trouble retaining heat correct?" He visibly relaxes before answering.
"That's correct yes. My guards name is Jake and if you need anything ask him or Dave. Jake's worked here the longest of anyone."
"Noted, thank you," with that the crown prince leaves, once I'm sure he's out of hearing range I turn back towards Dave. "He's actually sleeping with his guard isn't he? I'd bet money he is."
"That would be a waste of money because you're wrong." a fool, your glad he isn't really in line for the throne.
"Did you not see how he reacted just a second ago? It's obvious."
"That's a bit weird I'll admit. I still don't believe it though, you asked a strange question and got a strange response. Never-mind all that though! Lemme show you where everything is," I can see where everything is really, but it's nice to let him have his fun. "Right next to the door's the 'sitting room', it's really just got a t.v. but sitting room sounds fancy. There's the bathroom," he gestures towards a large arch covered by several curtains. You didn't even notice it amongst all the other red. "And that cage's for sprite."
"Sprite?" you must've misheard, there's no way he keeps a sprite as a pet. They aren't even real.
"He's a bird of mine, he comes and goes as he pleases. We've got a full schedule today, but for you that just means standing near me while I do stuff. Be good though, I don't need you making me look bad." He doesn't need my help looking bad considering he can't even tie a tie. He adjusts it as we leave but doesn't really fix it.
Sweet Skaia this job is boring. I've been standing behind Strider for hours now. Listening to the court talk and staring at other guards. Dirks is a short man with bright eyes, he looks strong. Roxy's has a frail look about them, but it's offset by the gun they hold. Rose's happens to be someone I already know, Kanaya Maryam. Shes suited to this job, has a great sense for danger and is incredibly fast. This gets boring fast, it's the same people in a different room over and over again. I haven't taken many live in jobs and now I know why Kankri complains about his. Between meetings I try to help Strider out, on our way to the last one I grab his shoulder and stop him. "You're tie isn't tied correctly sir, let me fix it." it's been bugging me all day.
"Thank you." He gives me another blinding smile, he smiles a lot. He seems to try to stay stoic during meetings though. I unfurl the red silk of his tie and carefully redo it. I tug it to tighten it and he turns a pale pink color. Strange.
"There, that's got to better right?" he nods quietly "Good, it was annoying seeing you fiddle with it all the time."
"Seriously? You can't just be nice to me?"
"You should really know how to tie a tie then. I don't want to help you get dressed, you're not a child." Even if he certainly acts like it.
"That's true, yes, but if you help me out so much I don't think I'll have to learn." You've helped him all of once and you wish you hadn't.
The last meeting melts into the others, and he drags me back through the maze like castle to his room. I'm tired and annoyed and only then does it set in that this is the highest point of the palace.
"So I assume it's straight to bed Mr. Strider?" I'm exhausted.
"What? No. I'm not tired and besides I wanna introduce you to Sprite," the fuckin bird is more important than my rest. Of course it is "He should be back by now, he comes home before it gets too dark," He pushes open the door and almost literally drags me to the cage. "There he is!" inside the formerly empty cage is a large bird, it's eyes are oddly round and ringed with a darker orange than the rest of it. It's tail feathers are as long as my arm and it doesn't appear to be a hunting bird. "'Sup sprite, I know you just got back but it's nap time dude." he treats the bird with more respect that me! Gods he treats a literal pet better than me. He throws a thin blanket over the cage, and the bird almost instantly stops it's squawking. "There you go buddy, now it's off to bed."
He doesn't head to the bed though, instead heading to the bathroom pulling the curtain shut behind him. As I change he...sings. He's quiet but I can still make it out, his voice is deep and smooth like good coffee. When he returns he's wearing a pair of playing card suite patterned pajamas.
"Soooo, I've got one last question." he always seems to have a question.
"What?"
"How much do you wanna sleep? I'm not tired." He reminds me of a child whining to a babysitter. That's what I am now. A grown mans keeper.
"Mr. Strider please, it's late. I'm tired and I'm sure you'll realize that too if you go to bed."
"No." he pouts, tilting his nose up defiantly.
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes." this goes on for a few minutes. Until he's just saying no repeatedly, hands over his over sized ears. This has gone on for far too long, I pin his lanky arms down to his sides. "Sir, you seem to be under the entirely false impression that because you're my boss I will not ever lose my patience, but I am so close to chaining your scrawny self to that bed. It's time to sleep." he seems too surprised to talk, before he starts laughing, shaking the smallest bit.
"Fine, fine you win. It's bed time, under on condition."
"What?" he leans down, bending at the waist, and tilts one of his cheeks towards me.
"I want a kiss, just one on the cheek. Before you say no be aware: this is the only way I'm going to bed," I do the only reasonable thing: throw his lanky ass over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes "Hey! What do you think you're doing? Put me down!" he wriggles a bit before I comply and throw him onto the bed.
"Sleep. Now." Strider crosses his arms.
"Or what? You'll tell my parents?" I can't see his eyes but I can tell he rolls them.
"No I'll...... Break your turn tables," he gasps a little bit, eyebrows shooting up under his bangs "You think I won't? I will. I'll say it was an accident, it's my first week they'll forgive me."
"Fine, I'll go to sleep. I thought you'd be more fun but you're just a bit annoying. Lemme get the lights"
"I'll do it, and I'm not annoying. You act like a child," I pinch out the candles and turn off the other lamps, feeling my way back to the bed "I still don't believe you." There's a soft clatter as he takes of his shades.
"Be quiet, c'mere," it takes me three seconds to long to move before he drags me closer to him. I haven't touched the prince much but he's cold, I know Derse is cold but he feels like ice. It feels like he would die if I left. "You smell like cherry pie."
"Pardon?" Was he seriously smelling me?
"You smell like cherry pie." he sighs, content, before breathing in deeply "'S nice."
He nestles his face into my hair, the rest of his bony body digs into me in an almost painful way. Despite his claims of not being tired, he ends up softly snoring almost instantly. I soon fall asleep myself, questioning why I would ever take this job. Free room and board aren't particularly worth my dignity. Though I'm sure if I were to get fired I would never get a job again, it's only been one day but I've already gotten myself in over my head.