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Eight months...Eight months he’s been gone.
It wasn’t supposed to happen that way. He’d only planned for two...maybe three. But even though the children from the future timeline had since departed to start new lives after Grima’s fall, it didn’t mean that they never came back to visit.
And the fact that the same few hadn’t been...And that the others hadn’t seen nor heard from them...was alarming to say the least.
Owain was one of them.
Although he technically wasn’t their son...not in this timeline, they’d grown close to him. He felt like their son. Even now, when their Owain from this timeline was growing out of his toddler years. Even now, when Lissa had given birth to a baby girl not even a year ago. He couldn’t help but worry that something had happened, and Lissa even more-so.
They had to know...to either find him, or at least find out what happened to him. And that had led him to the unsavory conclusion...that he would have to look for him. Power was temporarily given to the East Khan in his absence, Lissa was left to look after their two young children. Not without help, but...The shame that ate away at him over it was gut-wrenching.
But the guilt of knowing the older Owain could be in trouble, while they sit idly by, was worse. They’d agreed he would go, and he would come back as soon as he found him, or found out any news of him. Lon’qu swore to return as soon as he could, although he did not know how long it would take.
He never could have imagined what mess he’d end up in. Led to a foreign realm, caught up in a war, unable to find Owain because he had taken up a different name. By the time he found him, he’d been furious. Four months he’d searched before he found him, and only by chance. Days it had taken him to smooth over the animosity between them when Lon’qu’s temper flared, when he’d almost blown Owain’s cover...or rather, “Odin’s”. It took a while for Lon’qu to understand the situation.
But he understood, because he’d been caught up in it.
The Outrealm Gate, or Dragon Gate, as they called it there, had been blocked off. Because of the conflicts, Lon’qu hadn’t been able to get back. Not for nearly 4 more months, and even then, he’d only been able to get back with Owain’s assistance. He’d spent that long perfecting a spell that could send him back... alone.
Eight months...and all he has to show for it is the news that Owain is a dark mage in another realm fighting someone else’s war. That’s hardly the news Lissa would want.
But wars could take years. Though he’d like to assure Lissa of their alternate son’s safety, he’d already been gone too long. Far too long. And Owain was capable...Far more so than Lon’qu had even realized.
He had to get back.
And now here he was...standing on his own doorstep, frozen solid. Not because of the frigid Feroxi air, or fatigue from his travels...But out of fear. A cold terror that clung to his bones as he stares at the front door of his home...
The lights are on, signaling she’s still awake, despite the late hour. Even after this long, he’s kept his house key safe, now tucked into the pocket of whatever is left of the Nohrian attire he’s had to wear.
He wants to see her. He wants to see her so badly, but he’s terrified of it. That she’ll be furious at him for being gone so long...that she’ll resent him for leaving her alone to raise their kids for almost a year...that she’ll have given up on him coming home and he’d only break her heart with his presence.
He knows that these fears are his dark thoughts alone. Eight years he’d been married to Lissa, and he’d known her far longer. Even at his worst, she’d never given up on him. Not over the course of years. Deep down, he knows he’s letting his thoughts get the better of him. But it’s so hard to push them away.
Ten minutes he stands there before he finally finds his resolve. His grip on the key is weak, and it takes him a moment to steady it. His arms shake as he moves to unlock the door. Even though he can’t see his face, he knows he’s pale as a ghost.
Once the deadlock clicks back, he gently pushes the door open, stepping inside to the warmth and light and familiarity that he had begun to worry he was forgetting. He looks to the left, his swordmaster’s coat still hanging on the rack by the door, as if he had never left. For so long he’d worried how long it would take him to get home...at times, he wasn’t sure if he ever could. To be here now feels...surreal.
He shuts the door behind him, the sound just loud enough to be noticeable. And Lissa doesn’t miss it. The subtle sound of metal scraping wood can be heard around the corner just before she comes into view, an axe in hand hanging at her side. Can he blame her for thinking him an intruder.
Lon’qu doesn’t move, just stares at her and he can’t look away. So glad to see her face again, he doesn’t even care that her expression is suspicious and unsure at first. But it only takes her a moment. One blink and she sees the face that’s attached to the tall, dark figure in her doorway. Her arms go limp, the weapon slowly slipping from her fingers before it clatters to the floor at her bare feet.
Her blonde hair is down, long and tumbling down over her shoulders inches further than he remembers. The nightgown she wears is a clear sign she was about to retire for the night. Her lips part, mouth agape as she stares right back. Beryl eyes lock onto his, holding him there, like she’s trying to decide if what she’s seeing is real or if it’s her mind playing tricks on her.
His throat goes dry, heart caught in his chest as neither moves at first. It’s only a moment or two, but it seems like ages. Finally, he finds his voice, and it cracks.
“ He’s alright …”
A whimper leaves her, almost like a cry as she all but sprints down the hall towards him. So stunned, he only manages a long stride or two forward before she reaches him. By the time she gets there, he’s already lowered himself down to her level. She rushes into his open arms, fervently throwing hers around him and holding tight. So overcome by seeing her again, his legs give out. He falls to his knees, and Lissa follows suit, her arms still wrapped around the back of his neck as she buries her face into the crook of his shoulder.
But he’s holding onto her too...Almost desperately. Strong arms wrap around her back, fingers curling against her skin, putting creases in the silk. His breaths are shaky as he tries to ground himself, and with each uneven breath he smells the honeysuckle in her hair. No amount of time could make him forget this, not even close. It was this feeling that had both tormented and comforted him when he was stuck in another realm. The memory of it ripping at his soul, he missed her so much...The promise that he’d feel it again one day had often been the only thing that motivated him on his worst days.
They stay like that for a few moments, silent aside from the quiet sobs in his shoulder and his wavering breaths. Eventually, he gently pulls back. But he doesn’t pull away. One hand moves to her arm, weakly holding onto it as the other moves to the back of her head, fingers lacing through her hair. He rests his forehead to hers, his voice is quiet and broken when he speaks.
“ ...I...I’m sorry..I tried to come back sooner...Things...got out of hand …” he can’t even begin to apologize. No matter how heartfelt it might be, to him it seems a paltry compensation for what he’s done.
She stops him, pressing her slender fingertips against his lips to silence his words. Her other hand slides down to cup his jaw, thumb running over his cheek as she shakes her head. Rather than giving a verbal reply, her fingers slide away and she presses her mouth to his. Lon’qu trembles at the sensation, taking a moment to collect himself enough to return the kiss. But when he does, it’s with everything he has.
As his lips slide against hers, he can taste the salt of her tears on his tongue...and that of his own. He can’t even begin to describe how much he missed her, how much his head is spinning. It’s only for his breath that he breaks away, and it seems she needed it too.
“ Gods I missed you, Lissa …” he breathes.
“I’m just so glad you’re alright…” she replies. She shakes her head, fingers wrapping around his hand that now rests on her cheek. “That you’re back...I was so worried about you, Lon’qu. We all were.”
As if on queue, a small voice rings out from down the hall. Immediately, Lon’qu looks up over his wife’s shoulder to see a young, dark-haired boy peeking out from a doorway. He’s rubbing his eyes, like he’s just woken up. “Mama? What’s going on?” Once his hand moves away from his face, his eyes light up, going as wide as saucers. “Papa?”
A shaky, bittersweet smile comes to Lon’qu, seeing how much his son has grown since he left.
“ Hello, Owain .”
The boy responds with a dramatic gasp, small hand flying in front his mouth in surprise. “Papa!” He exclaims, darting forward, but skidding to a halt after just a step or two. Brotherly instincts kicking in, he darts back into the bedroom, shouting to his sister out of sight.
“Lydia! Wake up, wake up! Papa’s home!”
Mere seconds later, Owain comes bolting out of the room once again. Lissa has already moved to the side just slightly to give the boy room. He plows into his father, drawing a small grunt from him as he collides with his chest. Lon’qu embraces his son, chin resting on his head as the young boy blabbers semi-coherent strings of sentences about how he’s missed him, asking him what adventures he went on.
A few moments later, he sees his daughter exit the room as well, looking just as sleepy. But not only has she grown...she’s walking on her own now. He’s missed his own daughter learn to walk. Something inside him cracks, wondering just how much has happened while he was away that he didn’t get to see or be a part of. As much as it pains him, he holds it back. She was so young...Did she even remember him? She looks unsure.
It takes a bit of coaxing from Lissa, but their daughter eventually makes her way over. As reluctant as he is to let go of his wife, he lets his hand slide away so he can greet his daughter, enveloping both his children in his arms. As pained as he is from being away so long, he slowly feels that start to slip away, replaced by the warmth of the three people he loves most in this world. Lissa repositions herself behind Lydia and Owain, her smaller arms encircling the three of them as much as they can. She rests her head against his, and he closes his eyes, finally beginning to steady his aching chest.
“ Never again …” he whispers to her.
He’s never leaving them again.