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She's the coolest girl in town. Long black hair, glossed pink lips, soft leather boots and a new car that shines like diamonds. She's taller, older, curvier and when she first asks wanna dance? Sada's heart does backflips. And it's just a dance between girls on opposite fringes of the same friendship group, just an offer to keep Sada from feeling left out at her own party, but the way Mitsu turns down every guy that asks for the next dance and the next and the next is the bravest thing Sada has ever seen.
They dance until the DJ pulls the plug and once she's home Sada cries and can't explain to her brothers why.
Miitsu drives with leather gloves on, tucks her hair behind her ear to show both of her beautiful eyes and it's around the time she starts to sing along to the radio that Sada knows it's love. They talk about fashion and parties and music - not about boys, Sada can't even think the word without a sinking in her stomach - and even after they've parked Mitsu doesn't stop asking questions. Why did Kara-chan pick a place like this for a party anyway? Think we should surprise her with something better next year? And all Sada can say is If Tsuru-senpai doesn't beat us to it and then they're both laughing and smiling and the inside of the car has a name and that's Heaven.
Yoshi-nii picks her up that night and all she can talk about is Mitsu-senpai with her funny stories and part time job and Yoshi-nii smiles and tells her I love you and she knows he knows and if she doesn't think about it too hard everything is beautiful.
They meet for lunch in the park downtown and no one else is invited. It's been three months since their first dance - a long time when you've just turned sixteen - and Sada knows every gesture, every cue, and now they can finish each other's sentences. Three months since Sada has so much as tried to like a boy and she swears she's prettier for it. Everyone keeps asking if she's changed her hair or makeup and she wishes she could tell them its love that looks great on her. Mitsu gets prettier by the day, the nature sort of pretty that's made for magazines and billboards. They share a melonpan between them, crumbs caught under Mitsu's long nails, and Sada is too busy talking and laughing to brush the crumbs from her own skirt.
Sada-chan? Mitsu calls when they're saying goodbye and hands her a hair accessory, a blue and yellow feather set with jewels. Call me Micchan, okay? Sada spends half the night doodling the name onto the back of her notebook, colouring the hearts blue.
The chains on the swings rattle and creak as Mitsu pushes Sada higher, their laughter echoing out across the dark playground. This is the bravest thing Sada has ever done and she doesn't regret it for a minute, for a second, for even half a wild beat of her heart. Meet me at the end of your road Mitsu had text and Sada had climbed out of her window, ripped her shorts on the sill, and was in Mitsu's car before she could doubt a thing. Now her shorts are pinned together over one thigh, Mitsu's holding her hand and leading her towards the climbing frame and she's never felt more alive than this. It's about more than being kids or adults or girls or boys. Its about more than breaking the rules. It's about her heart learning to sing.
Mitsu kisses her cheek when they say goodbye. She smells like roses and apples and when she lingers a little too long Sada's mind stops working completely. It's only a moment, a scrap of time between two friends, but she relives it for days and days.
You have to come, Sada-chan. Promise me you will? Mitsu decides to hold her birthday party out in the park, an invite for everyone this time, and Sada promises and swears and crosses her heart that she's going to be there only when the day arrives she's not. No one is. Rain plummets from the sky in sharp lashes and she knows it's all cancelled long before she gets the group text that confirms it. Her brothers make her hot chocolate and let her have the television remote to cheer her up and although they're sweet they're not Mitsu and nothing is going to make her feel better, her whole week is ruined and she's going to let everyone know how angry she is. Is she your best friend now? Yoshi-nii asks kindly and when she can't give him a straight answer he gives her one of his tightest hugs.
She's still bundled in blankets on the sofa, still in her party dress with her heels in a pile on the floor, when Kou-nii points out the window and says isn't that a sexy car? and suddenly it's one of the best days ever.
They get out of the car in the middle of the parking lot and Mitsu takes her by the hand. She's the most beautiful girl in the world. Hair soaked from the rain, cheeks pink with the cold, a black lacy dress clinging to her curves and her heels splashing in the puddles. Sada's laughing, twirling, singing and when Mitsu asks wanna dance? she all but falls into her arms. And it's not just a dance between girls who hang out, not just a backup plan after Mitsu's party failed. The way they twist and turn and smile and dance, hands on waists and heads on shoulders, the way they're soaked from the rain but neither of them ask to stop, the way they don't check to see if anyone is watching, this is bravest thing Sada has ever done. They dance until they're short of breath and shivering and Mitsu is talking but Sada can't hear over her own heart and its love its love it's love.
On the doorstep. Her brothers watching at the window and the car still rumbling in the drive. Mitsu takes Sada's cheeks in her gloved hands and kisses her without any fear. Sada could ask questions, could panic, could ruin everything but Mitsu's so calm, her touch so gentle, her lips so soft, that Sada follows her lead and forgets to be afraid. And when she cries this time she doesn't have to explain why.