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The buzz of movement backstage acts as a catalyst, building up Mao’s adrenaline for the upcoming performance. Trickstar’s final live as Yumenosaki students. Perhaps he should be nervous for this, Makoto certainly seems to be feeling that way but he can’t find it in himself to feel nerves. This is a celebration of all they’ve achieved since forming their unit after all and is a send off to their future. There’s no opponent, no losers or battles here, only themselves as winners who will achieve that title simply by standing atop the grand stage that’s been prepared for them.
He’s getting a bit ahead of himself there though, he thinks as he riffles through his make-up bag for an eyeliner pen. There’s still an hour and half until the curtain will go up and then about twenty minutes of opening acts to go, though that time is going to fly past with all there is to still be done. Mao may not be acting as President any more but he’d still found himself having to catch a taxi to the venue after staying too long at school helping out with paper work. Despite having passed the reins over to Tori a month ago, he can’t help but want to help out in any way he can.
Fingers diving through the make-up he’s gotten so accustomed to applying himself, it’s strange to think this may well be the last time he does his own before stepping on stage. It’s pretty much second nature by now to go through the steps for his stage make-up but he can easily remember the first time he attempted to do his own. Ritsu had been a surprisingly patient teacher and it was just as well because Mao, well, he was quite frankly shit at even the most simple steps for quite some time.
-----
“Maa-kun~” A languid voice calls from his bed. What was once a cocoon of blankets now has a head with very tousled hair and lazy red eyes. “You’re at idol school now right?”
Looking down at his Yumenosaki uniform, Mao raises an eyebrow at Ritsu asking that question.
“Yeah?”
“And you have so much to learn, right?” There’s a hint of something in Ritsu’s voice that Mao can’t quite figure out. It’s almost teasing but there’s none of the amusement that’s generally in there like there is when Ritsu teases him about being shorter (only by four centimetres! He’ll catch up!) than him now.
Swivelling around in his chair he faces Ritsu head on, trying to read his expression. Smug? Is that it?
“Ritsu.” While his tone is half scolding he doesn’t expect Ritsu’s face to fall in the way it does.
“No.” Ritsu pouts, looking like he’s about to wriggle back into his cozy home.
“No…?”
“Not Ritsu, Ricchan.” And of course it was something as simple as that. “You sound like a stranger when you call me Ritsu.”
Mao’s been trying his best, he really has, to stop using the nickname. He’s at high school now, he’s 15! Referring to Ritsu in such a way should be embarrassing at his age. He’s amazed Ritsu himself isn’t embarrassed by it, being a year older than him already. A year older than him and yet still in the same class. Whatever, he’s still got a year on him and that definitely means he should be acting in a far more mature way than he does. Mao’s been trying to get out of the habit of using his childhood nickname for his best friend since he entered Yumenosaki and Ritsu’s demanding that he keep using it really isn’t helping to break the habit at all.
“Ricchan.” He corrects himself. Indulging Ritsu just one more time can’t hurt. “What are you getting at?”
Ritsu chuckles in a way that’s most definitely smug. Mao would be slightly concerned about what he’s about to follow up with if his attempt to escape his blanket cocoon wasn’t half as disastrous as it is. In a way it’s kind of cute really, watching him wriggle, then frown, then wriggle more, ask more for help and then finally manage to release all of his limbs after an extended period of extra squirming. The question of whether it’s weird or not to find that cute flits through his mind and Mao would pay it a lot more attention if Ritsu wasn’t now smiling at him in a way that Mao supposes is meant to be sweet.
“Maa-kun needs a private tutor to help him catch up~”
“I really don’t?” and he doesn’t, all his grades are good and despite not being a natural at the idol stuff he works hard enough at it that he’s not falling behind.
“Mmm, maybe not on things they grade you on but there’s more to being an idol than that.” Dragging his school bag across the floor, Ritsu approaches him. It’s straight up bizarre to hear a guy who tries to sleep through literally everything at school try lecture him on what it takes to be an idol. Mao hates to think how bad his grades would be if he actually had to work for his music and dance skills rather than being a natural.
“Out with it you.” With perhaps a little too much effort for someone of his age and fitness level, Ritsu perches himself on the edge of Mao’s desk. Right on top of the worksheets he’d laid out. Oh yeah, that’s right. “I have homework to do and so do you. Now that you’re up you should be doing that, not whatever this is.”
“I saw what your make up looked like for our mock live, on uh…” Ritsu drags out the syllable as he attempts to remember the day (it was Tuesday, Mao’s brain provides), “Whenever day that was.”
“Tuesday.”
“Yeah. Then.” Smile back on his face Ritsu seems to be actually happy now. Which is a sight that’s far rarer than it should be, he suits a smile. Which is totally not weird thing to think about, he needs to be able to identify what makes idols sell after all and Ritsu’s smile could definitely sell albums all on its own. “Any way, they don’t teach us how to do that and Maa-kun’s cute face is wasted when it’s covered in bad make-up~”
“It was my first time, cut me some slack Rits- Ricchan.” He has to admit, his make-up really was bad. He’d at least assembled a small collection of basic products, knowing at some point he’d have to use them but with everything else he was learning, attempting to apply them hadn’t crossed his mind until he’d been put on the spot. “But you do have a good point.”
Ritsu looks incredibly proud of himself for thinking of something useful. Mao has to wonder if his bar for being praised is really so low that he’ll take that as a compliment.
“Right~?” He sings out. “So I’m gunna teach Maa-kun how to do his make-up.”
He says it so matter of factly that Mao knows he has no choice. Not that he wants to argue against this, anything that can help him improve on his own non-existent skill is a bonus and Ritsu is pretty confident at doing his own.
“Okay, but after this you’ll at least do 3 questions on the worksheet before sleeping again yeah?” Mao tries to bargain. He’s going to agree no matter what but he’s already long figured out that Ritsu needs some form of incentive before he’ll get any academic work done.
“Fine.” Mao can’t help but laugh brightly at how Ritsu instantly turns to pouting.
“Homework isn’t the end of the world.” Pushing his chair back from his desk he tries to remember where he’d left his make-up. “And I don’t want you to end up in the year below me.”
“Oh? Maa-kun wants to graduate with me? How romantic~” He teases as he jumps from the desk to the floor with far more energy than he’d gotten up with.
Mao’s not entirely sure why he feels quite so much heat in his face at Ritsu’s words.
“I just don’t want you to get held back any further, yeah?” The smile on Ritsu’s face is contagious and despite his flushed cheeks he finds himself smiling back. Ignoring the disbelieving hum Ritsu gives, he continues. “We should do this in the bathroom so I can see what you’re doing.”
“Lead the way, Maa-kun~”
It takes a lot of concentration not to react to how brushes and fingers tickle his skin as Ritsu does his make-up step by step with surprising patience. Tongue poking out the side of his mouth, Ritsu’s concentrating an awful lot himself. It’s obvious to Mao he’s not used to applying it to others faces but every time he smiles proudly as he completes a step and explains to Mao what he’s about to do next, Mao feels warmth flutter through him. It must be that it’s good seeing Ritsu put so much of himself into something. That must be what he’s enjoying. Definitely not the way he can feel Ritsu’s breath on his cheek as he leans in to double check his application or the pleased little hum he makes when he’s happy with what he’s doing.
“Close your eyes Maa-kun.”
While he’s slowly growing used to ticklish brush strokes, the way Ritsu’s fingers rest lightly against his face still sends tingles through his skin. It’s not wholly unpleasant though and in combination with the soothing lazy tone of Ritsu’s voice, it’s almost relaxing. Almost, because despite having graceful and precise movements on the keys of a piano, Ritsu just stabbed him though his eyelid with an eye shadow brush.
“Ouch! Careful Ricchan.” The nickname just slips out. Even if he is appeasing Ritsu at the moment, he’s going to have do a lot more work to not have it be what he instinctively calls him.
“Sorry Maa-kun, I was distracted by your pretty lips.” Only Ritsu could say something so absurd so earnestly.
“You’re doing my eyes not my lips.”
“Mmm yeah, that’s why I messed up.” From the tone of Ritsu’s voice, Mao’s fully inclined to believe him. “Open up, see what I mean by you hardly see it even if it feels like a lot?”
Staring at himself in the mirror he’s glad that Ritsu isn’t being heavy handed with his make-up. While Mao never had any reservations about how Ritsu would teach him, he knows Ritsu learnt from his brother and well, Rei certainly does wear a lot of dark eye shadow and eyeliner on stage doesn’t he? There’s no way he could pull that off himself. Ritsu though, Ritsu could probably pull it off; he’s a lot softer looking than his brother but he shares some of that dark, mysterious air while performing, despite being a sloth trapped in a teenage boys body when off stage. Eyes flicking to the side, he takes in Ritsu’s reflection. Those usually tired eyes gleam happily, their deep red brighter and more alive than it usually is. No matter how creepy Mao supposes blood red eyes probably should be, his eyes are beautiful and they’re never more beautiful than when-
Ritsu smiles.
Right back at Mao through the mirror.
Oh, that’s probably a bit weird, being caught lost in your best friends eyes like that.
Eyes snapping back to his own face Mao ignores the heat in his cheeks. Thankfully he has enough base make-up on that he isn’t going to end up looking like the tomato he feels like he’s becoming.
“Ah, yeah I see it. So you used all three of these browns? Okay cool. Yeah I think I got it.” Words tumble awkwardly out of Mao’s mouth as he attempts to make the situation anything but. “Did you want me to try copy it on my other eye now?”
His own movements are a lot more uncertain than Ritsu’s. If Ritsu’s a beginner, Mao is an absolute novice. At least with eyeshadow, Ritsu happily informs him, if you fuck up you just smudge it real good and people in the audience won’t notice you did a bad job. While Mao struggles to keep one eye open while working on the other (winking apparently a skill he needs to perfect for more than fanservice), he doesn’t think he does all that bad of a job. It’s definitely better than the last time he’d tried and Ritsu’s right.
“I did alright?” His words sound uncertain but as he surveys his own appearance he’s pretty sure his eye looks at least kind of like the one Ritsu did.
“You did~” He doesn’t quite know how to react when Ritsu reaches out to pet his head. “Maa-kun’s such a fast learner, I’m so proud.”
Watching Ritsu pretend to wipe away a tear of happiness, Mao can’t help but break into a light laugh. Even if this is not the way he expected to spend his afternoon it’s strangely fun? Although that may be in part because this is the most he’s seen Ritsu smile in quite some time. He can’t help but enjoy himself when Ritsu’s finding pure enjoyment in something for the first time in so long.
“Maybe I just have a good teacher.” And Ritsu beams at that. He may call Mao the sun but Mao’s pretty sure that a smile that honest from Ritsu is brighter than anything he’s ever seen. “Alright so what’s next?”
The way Ritsu surveys his face carefully fills him with an emotion he can’t put a name to. It’s fleeting though, dancing through him quickly but holding his attention just long enough to have him curious. It isn’t a bad feeling as such but it is different. Whatever it is, that’s a thought for another time, right now Ritsu’s sharpening a pencil and… oh god he’s not really sure he’s going to do so well at this.
“If I blink it’s not my fault.” He warns.
“I’ll be gentle~” Ritsu reassures him. “I’ll make sure I don’t stab you with this one.”
Okay that part was not so reassuring.
“Yeah don’t poke my eye out, I kinda need these.” Oh boy the tip on that pencil is sharp and not something he wants going near any vulnerable part of him at all, let alone vulnerable parts he needs to use to see.
“I dunno, Maa-kun might look hot with an eyepatch.”
“Ricchan!” He can’t help but laugh, concern over his eyes safety dissipating somewhat. Somewhat. “Just be careful okay.”
A cold hand rests itself on his shoulder and when his eyes flick up from it, they meet red.
“If you keep laughing you’re gunna get stabbed any way so that’s your fault not mine.”
It’s really hard not to flinch as he watches Ritsu bring the pencil up to his eye, hand resting against his cheek softly. That part somehow is more comforting than any of the words Ritsu’s given him.
“Look down and try not to blink.” Soft yet serious Mao can tell Ritsu’s gone back into concentration mode.
Things aren’t quite so scary when he can’t see what he’s doing, right hand pulling his skin taunt as his left draws Mao almost makes it three seconds before he feels the pencil going a bit too close to his actual eyeball.
“Maa-kun.” Ritsu scolds. It’s weird for them to be reversed like that.
“Okay okay, it’s just, I’m not used to that at all.” Breathing deeply he tries to steady himself. The idea that he’s going to have to do this on himself next? Somehow that scares him more than leaving the fate of his eye in Ritsu’s hands.
Somehow, he has no idea how but somehow he manages to keep (mostly) still from then on. The lead tickles the skin of his eyelid, adding another level of torture. It works as a good distraction though. Trying not to flutter his lids as he tries not to react to the soft strokes. Softer still is the ghost of Ritsu’s breath against his cheek. Just too far away for it to add to the ticklishness but close enough that he can feel his slow and steady breaths as he concentrates. Mao never expected make-up to be this intimate.
“You can look up now.” Before he’s even realised it, Ritsu’s done. “You should get something better than this, pencils are dumb and I don’t like using them.”
“Well it’s me who’ll be using it not you.” Mao retorts before he’s even had a chance to look at his reflection.
Ritsu hasn’t done a bad job. The line above his eye is definitely shaky and uncertain in parts but Mao’s sure from a distance no one would notice. Which is probably the most forgiving thing about all this, stage make up just needs to help his face be seen on stage, it doesn’t have to be perfect like the make-up of that on-hiatus model in their class. Besides, what Ritsu’s done is far better than the job he’s about to do any way.
“I’m gunna do such a bad job, just warning you now.” He comments, reaching out his hand for the pencil.
“Probably, but I still believe in you Maa-kun~”
There’s a slight spark of something as Ritsu’s finger tips brush the palm of his hand while passing over the pencil. Weird, considering Ritsu’s had his hands all over his face this whole time but, it’s kind of nice.
-----
Looking down at the palm of his hand, he closes it around the eyeliner pen. His memory of Ritsu’s fingertips against his hand so vivid even years later. Memories like that are a precious snapshot of their past and something he will continue to hold onto dearly for years to come.
Ritsu was right he thinks as he shakes the pen before uncapping it, eyeliner pencils are dumb. He’s sure there are people who can make them work but the easy (and not pointy!) application of an eyeliner pen is so, so much preferable for him.
The way he manages the thin lines on his eye lids with practised ease is something he’d never really imagined himself able to do. Another sign of how far he’s come, even if make-up was never a skill he thought he’d gain when he decided to follow in Ritsu’s footsteps and head along to idol school too. A lot of things he’s had to do or learn while at Yumenosaki are things he didn’t expect but perhaps the most surprising thing he’s learnt while at the school is who he is. How to stand on his own two feet and be proud of who he is, rather than just being that one guy who knows that working hard and being able to do a good apology can go a really long way. Well, he’ll probably never really lose that self-sacrificing part of himself but at least he’s learnt to be a little selfish by now.
He’s long since learnt to accept his feelings for what they are too. Thinking back to his first year self, so oblivious to what he was feeling, he can help but smile fondly. It had taken longer than perhaps it should have but Ritsu had been surprisingly patient, never once doubting Mao would get there one day.
Comparing his eyes in the mirror, he’s still not exactly a pro but well, the audience aren’t going to be able to tell. After all, he doesn’t wear anything more than is needed to stop the stage lights washing him out. Some of the audience probably can’t tell he has anything on at all. A knock on the dressing room door frame interrupts him.
“Um, Isara-senpai?” In the mirror the reflection of an awkward first year appears behind him.
“Yo~” Ah, but he can’t remember his name despite the couple of times he helped this kid out over the past year. Broadcasting committee, broadcasting committee… nope nothing. “What can I help you with?”
He doesn’t really have time to run around helping people out right now but he still can’t help himself.
“Oh, there’s someone here to see you.” He visibly relaxes. “Uh, Sakuma-sen-”
“Ritsu, it’s Ritsu-senpai.” Punctuated by a tired yawn, Ritsu’s reflection appears behind the kid’s.
A smile spreads slowly over Ritsu’s features as he locks eyes with Mao in the mirror and despite the fact Mao knows Ritsu shouldn’t be backstage he can’t find it in himself to feel annoyed at all.
“Sorry. Ritsu-senpai.” The poor kid looks horrified at messing up Ritsu’s name. “If you’ll excuse my I’ll be going, I have a lot to do before sound check.”
By the time Mao’s swivelled around on his stool ,only Ritsu stands in the door way.
“You.” He starts to smile as he tries to reprimand Ritsu. “Aren’t supposed to be back here.”
“Mhmm, I know~” His response is almost gleeful. “But I needed to wish my Maa-kun good luck before I went into the audience and mm, the kids you have helping out are scared of me so it was easy.”
Shaking his head in disbelief Mao can’t help but break into a full grin.
“If a senior had told me during my first year that I looked like a tasty snack and I should let him drink from me, I’d have been scared too.” Mao’s pretty sure Ritsu has said exactly that to him during his own first year but considering Ritsu had been held back to the same year level it didn’t quite count.
“The new ones are weak, Haa-kun and Suu-chan were never scared of me.” He complains as he closes the distance between himself and Mao.
Ritsu’s lips taste sweet as they capture his. Soft and loving, the kiss feels like it lasts forever and hardly any time at all at once. There’s warmth to Ritsu’s kisses that he never expresses in any other way. Even after almost a year of dating Mao’s heart still flutters like it had during their first kiss. Chest bursting with feelings he doesn’t quite have the words for but he knows Ritsu understands.
“I’ll make you proud up there.” His lips brush against Ritsu’s as he speaks.
“You always make me proud Maa-kun.” The adoring honesty in Ritsu’s voice comes through clearly. “You always have.”
“You do too Ricchan.” Parting properly his gaze drifts to Ritsu’s eyes and he’s met with a look as sappy and gross as he knows his own expression must be. “You do too.”
Another quick peck to his lips by a smiling mouth. Seeing him unguarded and happy like this, Mao means it when he says he’s proud of Ritsu. Ritsu’s had further to come than him to reach this point and if this is how brightly he shines now, he can’t wait to see how much further Ritsu will grow in the future.
The future. Their future together. They may be following slightly different paths and entering an industry filled with challenges and trials more than even Yumenosaki had given them, but there’s one thing that will always be constant throughout that and that one thing is right in front of him.
“Today is about you, not me.” Ritsu responds fondly, “I’d say good luck but Maa-kun will be amazing up there any way.”
Pale fingers intertwining with his own, he squeezes Ritsu’s hand tight. The butterflies that now dance within him aren’t from adrenaline or nerves. An emotion he can only express by smiling brightly before leaning up to capture Ritsu’s lips again. He’s always been amazed by the sheer range of emotions love can make him feel at once. So, so many and yet he can never find the words to accurately describe them. Well, not that that matters, Ritsu understands him perfectly without words anyway. If he were being cheesy he might describe the connection as something like soulmates.
“Thank you, Ricchan.” He murmurs as their lips part again.
“Nope,” Ritsu half chuckles. “Thank you Maa-kun, I love you.”
And there they are, the only words that can remotely describe what he feels.
“I love you too Ricchan, so much.” He knows he’s being sappy and embarrassing as he squeezes Ritsu’s hand again but he really doesn’t care.
Even if someone else were to walk into the room right now he’s sure he wouldn’t notice them. So lost in the moment he has with Ritsu, he never wants it to end. He knows they’ll pick things up again once he’s off stage, celebrating and exhausted and not caring so much about whether kissing Ritsu deeper might ruin his make-up but this moment feels too good to let go too.
“Maa-kun should finish getting ready.” It’s rare for Ritsu to be more aware of the time than he is but he’s glad one of them has the sense to get things back on track before he ends up having to rush more than he already does. “I love you.”
Mao can’t help the way he laughs lightly.
“I know, I love you too… now come on, we’re just going to end up getting caught up in things again if you keep saying things like that.”
“I’ve gotta say it though.” Ritsu responds, squeezing Mao’s hand back before letting his fingers slide from between his. “I can’t let you think even for a second that I don’t.”
Mao is pretty damn sure that he’s blushing right now.
“I’m never going to think you don’t.” His hand already feels empty without Ritsu’s fingers between his but he knows it won’t be long until they’re back. Where they belong. “Go on.”
“Fiiiiiine.” Ritsu drags out. “I’ve got four penlights with me and I’ll have them all pink so make sure you direct your fanservice at me okay~”
Mao’s pretty sure a lot of their audience will have four penlights and he’s no longer so humble that he might think no one else will be waving all of them with his colour lit up. He’s still going to keep an eye out for Ritsu, however unlikely the chance of spotting him amongst that massive crowd is. He can’t help it.
“I’ll try.” Ritsu seems satisfied with the answer.
Lips brush against his so fast that he finds himself leaning up to meet Ritsu’s again, making their last kiss before he goes on stage one to remember. He knows he’s risking getting caught in a cycle of kisses and declarations of love again but he can’t help himself.
“Okay, you should go line up now.” There’s a tone in his voice that says he doesn’t really want Ritsu to leave but they both know if Mao’s ever going to make it on stage that’s kind of important.
“Do you best, Maa-kun.” A soft smile on his face, Ritsu reaches out, a finger running across the back of Mao’s hand so lightly it almost tickles. “I know you will though~”
Mao doesn’t even have time to close his eyes as Ritsu’s lips press against his again before he’s turning for the door. Watching his boyfriend make his way back into the corridor and hopefully back out into the lobby to wait with the rest of the audience, Mao finds himself unable to stop smiling. For everything they’ve been through and whatever might happen in the future, he looks forward to experiencing that with Ritsu as the one by his side.
Slowly turning back to the make-up covered counter, he runs through what he has left to do. It’s still quite a considerable list but with his own determination, Ritsu’s support and knowing Trickstar are waiting for him to join them in warm ups, he knows he can make it.