Chapter Text
`“Be careful not to obscure the facts”
All Mights words echoed through Izuku as he walked down the deserted sidewalk, his head down as he tried to hide tear filled eyes from anyone that might see.
The facts? What facts? The fact that he was quirkless, that no matter how hard he tried he would never achieve what was in reach for so many? The fact that the dream he had so carefully protected and nurtured for 10 years would never come true? The fact that the greatest hero of all time was really just a frail, emaciated man? The fact that that man told him he could never be a hero?
Yeah those were the facts that he had been hiding, no denying his whole life. He looked down at the book he had kept help so tightly against his chest. The cover burned slightly from when Kacchan had tried to destroy it.
Izuku flipped through the book remembering all the times he jotted down notes, always amazed at what he saw what he had learned, but it was all a waste of time. He stopped on the last page that had been written in, the page with All Might’s signature, his vision blur as tears fell onto the page.
How could I have been so stupid, He closed the book and held it tightly. I should have known that there was never any hope for me, but I didn’t want to see it, didn’t want to face it.
The worst part of all this was that deep down he knew, concealed under his hopes, his dreams, the truth was hidden. Everytime he heard it’s voice, it’s soft voice the yells and screams of his hopes and dreams would drown it out, shoving it deeper within him, but now they were gone and all he could hear now was the booming voice of truth, the voice of reason.
What was he going to do now?
A question he had never asked himself before, not when the doctor told him he wouldn't have a quirk, not when his mother apologized to him and cried, not when Kacchan would beat him ceaselessly.
Kacchan... “From now on a ‘Deku’ is a person who’s totally useless at everything!” he was right, he was always right.
Kacchan was everything he wanted to be, he was strong, confident, brave, he was the closest thing Izuku ever had to a friend, the days they would spend marching through the woods looking for villains to defeat or playing in the arcade. That all changed the day Kacchan found out he didn’t have a quirk, suddenly he was no longer a tolerated companion he became the target of Kacchan cruelty. His life after that became a long line of pointless beatings, but even after all that he still admired him, wanted to be him.
He wiped his nose with the back of his sleeve as he walked, noticing more people on the street. He didn't want them to ask what was wrong for fear that he might not be able to contain himself.
A crowd of people gathering on the opposite side of the street caught his attention. Huge explosions boomed as the people cheered on the hero's working to stop whatever villain was causing the trouble.
Izuku instinctively began to walk towards it, his hand reaching towards the pocket where he kept his pen, a smile forming on his face his troubles for the smallest fraction of a second, forgotten.
Stop. Don’t look.
He stopped the smile fading from his face.
It’s useless to continue watching, just turn around and walk home
Another explosion shook the ground, Izuku looked at the cheering crowds, remembering all the times he had been among them cheering the hero's hoping he would one day be just like them.
It was useless.
With that final thought Izuku turned around and slowly continued the journey home, not knowing that the villain that was causing so much trouble was the very same one that had tried to absorb him, and that it’s new victim was Kacchan.
* * *
“Izuku, are you feeling well?” His mother asked him, her voice full of concern as she felt his forehead, “You haven't touched your food.”
He looked up at her quickly “Oh, no I feel fine.” Liar
Izuku stared at the bowl of katsudon in front of him “It’s just... i'm not that hungry.”
Who could blame him, after all he had been through today he doubted that many people would have an appetite.
His mom stood “It’s the food isn't it?” she fretted reaching over to grab the plate “Don't worry i’ll cook you something else.”
“Wha- no mom,” Izuku stopped his mom from taking the food “It’s not the food it’s just…,” he stopped, debating on whether he should tell him mom what happened but then decided against it, “I’ve had a really bad day.” Now wasn't the time to tell her, he didn't need her worrying about that right now.
His mother sat back down, “O-Okay, but you should still eat you want to grow big and strong don't you.” his mother urged with a smile.
Izuku couldn't help but return the smile, sure his mother could be overprotective at times, but she could always make him feel better no matter what. At that very moment his stomach grumbled, he looked up at his mom and they both broke out into laughter
He rubbed the back of his neck slightly embarrassed “I guess i am a little hungry,” his mother smiled at him, and without saying another word he began to happily eat his food.
Maybe things won’t be as bad as he thought they would be.
After he finished eating he went to his room to finish his homework, a faint smile played on his lips as he walked towards his room. Once he entered his room thought his smile dissipated.
There was a time when he would walk into his room and no matter what the circumstances would always find himself happy as all the walls, his carpet, and his curtains were All Might themed, now all they did was remind him of what his hero had told him.
Izuku felt his eyes beginning to tear up again, but before any tears could come out he blinked hard forcing them in
There's no use in crying anymore he thought as he walked into his closet to retrieve his book bag.
He placed it next to his desk, sat down and reached into his bag to grab his workbook.
As he pulled out the book his bag fell over spilling it's contents on the floor.
Izuku groaned cursing his luck, he bent down and began shoving his books and papers back into his bag.
Just as he finished he noticed one of the books had slipped under the bed, he reached down to get it. The second his fingers touched it he knew which one it was. How could he not when it was the book he spent years writing in.
He pulled out his hero notebook. The front cover was torn holding on to the binding only by a small piece.
Probably happened when he shoved it into his bag. He mused as he sat down placing the notebook before him.
He allowed his eyes to wander around the room, he observed his posters sadly, all the years he had spent collecting them seemed to be a waste of time and money now, his sight finally came to stop on one poster in particular, the one over his bed. This poster was different from the rest on the fact that it was the only one that had any signs of wear on it.
The edges were curling inward, the colors were faded and small tears could be seen on most of the corners. It depicted All Might (Like all of them did) standing in front of a yellow background with stars on it while he had his right hand up clenched in a fist the words ‘Because I’m Here’ in big orange letters.
Izuku smiled, he remembered the day he had gotten that poster, it was about a couple weeks after his 4th birthday, his mom had gotten him a lot of things but that had been the highlight of them. To have All Might right above his head as he slept filled him up with joy when he was smaller. He felt safe, protected.
A gentle knocking on the door broke his train of thought “Izuku.”
The door opened he turned to see his mother, she was wearing a gray coat over her regular close and in one hand she held her purse.
“Izuku I’m going to the store do you need anything?”
He looked back at the poster then back to his mom “No, but do you mind if I come with you?” He asked as he stood up.
The request seemed to surprise her a little but she smiled and nodded “Okay, but put a jacket on it’s getting cold outside.” she turned and picked up a blue-green jacket that was lying on the floor and gave it a couple shakes before giving it to him.
Izuku got up and took the jacket before following his mom out, he closed the door giving the poster one last look.
He needed some time to think, plus he needed to get out of his room.
Because no matter how much joy that poster had brought him it also served as a reminder of what he could never be.
***
“Izuku is something wrong?”
The sudden question startled but didn’t surprise Izuku, they had been driving in silence for the past 5 minutes in silence.
He lowered his head and decided to study the carpet while he responded.
“No… everything’s fine.” Izuku hated lying to his mom, but he just didn't know how to tell her.
“I know when your lying to me Izuku,” she turned to look at him once they reached a red light “You know that if there's anything wrong you can talk to me.”
Izuku simply nodded not wanting to look at his mother. What would he tell he anyways?
The light turned green and they continued on their way, but his mother was nowhere near finished “I can tell when you've been crying Izuku... was it Bakugo?”
Izuku jerked his head up shaking it frantically “Kacchan! No, no it wasn't him.” He assured her.
“Then what was it Izuku?” she looked at him her eyes full of worry “I need to know what's wrong so I can help you.”
Izuku felt his chest tightening. He wanted to tell her everything, but he just didn't know how she would take it, or if she could take it seeing his like this. The last time he had this happen was when she saw him crying in front of the computer screen after they told him he wouldn't have a quirk, his mother was never the same again.
No. He couldn't let that happen again. “It’s nothing mom.” He said quietly.
“Izuku please.” his mom begged.
He made the mistake of looking up at her. What he saw nearly broke him, his mother's usually cheerfully eyes were tearing up.
He quickly looked back down. “it's nothing.” He said adamantly trying to control his own emotions.
“Izuk-” his mom began once more.
“I CAN'T TELL YOU!” he shouted at the top of his lungs. He couldn't take it anymore all the anger he had accumulated over the past 10 years came out in one fell swoop “SO, PLEASE STOP!”
He regretted it as soon as it came out. His mom shocked by the sudden outburst just turned and kept her eyes on the road.
“mom…” he looked at his mom “i-i’m sorry,” he apologized.
His mom said nothing, but it did little to hide the steady stream of tears that now flowed down her face.
Izuku felt like he had just been kicked in the stomach, probably deserved to. He had never raised his voice up to anyone much less his loving mother.
They drove on in silence for a while neither of them making a sound.
“Izuku…” his mother spoke softly
Izuku listened unable to think of something to say to her.
“I know that things haven't been easy for you,” her voice shook with every word “and I know that I can be overwhelming.”
“Mom…” Izuku felt his eyes tearing up, he did this.
“It's okay if you don't want to tell me right now,” she turned to look at him her eyes full of tears “but, just remember I'll always be here.”
Izuku once again averted his gaze he hated himself. Hated himself for making his mom cry. He wasn't worthy of a mom like her, she had always been there and if there was anyone that could help him get through this it would be her.
“Mom…” he started remembering all that had happened today “After I left scho-”
A loud explosion shook the ground interrupting him, his mom slammed on the brakes throwing her hand out in front of him.
“Izuku are you all right!?”
Before he could answer a loud voice yelled out
“SHOCK WAVE!”
Izuku looked up just in time to see a large figure hurling towards them at high speeds.
“Mom!, watc-”
Too late.
The thing slammed into the front of the car throwing both him forward, he felt his head hit something hard and at that moment time seemed to slow down, he saw all the individual pieces of broken glass and plastic fly through the car. Izuku looked out the broken window seeing the setting sun off in the distance.
His last thought, “We’re flying” then everything went black.