Chapter Text
Jimin woke up in the middle of the night. Well, technically he wasn't sure it was the middle of the night. But there was still no light coming through the window and Hoseok was still snoring lightly in his bed, which meant it was still night. He sighed, rubbing his face and hoping sleep would come back to him. But his bladder had other plans.
He sat up, patting around the sheets to find his phone. His fingers finally made contact with it and he grabbed it, unlocking it to check the time. 4am. He sighed one last time before deciding to get out of bed.
He shivered as his bare feet touched the cold floor, but he was too sleepy to bother with putting on socks. He yawned and dragged his feet as he made his way towards the bathroom. But as he reached his destination, he stopped, frozen on the spot. He could see the light was on from underneath the door and behind it, someone was trying to muffle their sniffles.
He knocked softly on the door, biting down on his lip as he waited.
He heard a thump and then some swearing. He had recognized the sniffles and then the swearing gave it away, but Jimin was still surprised to see his best friend open the door.
“Tae?”
“Hey.” Taehyung greeted awkwardly. His voice was deep, scratchy, as if he hadn't used it in a long time. Or as if he had been crying. Most definitely the latter, since his eyes were also puffy and red. He looked like hell and only his face was poking from behind the door. “What's up?”
“I need to pee.” explained Jimin, sheepishly.
“Oh, okay.” Taehyung nodded his head, opening the door more and letting Jimin in. He cleared his throat a couple of times, turning away as Jimin relieved himself. It looked like he wanted to say something, but then busied himself by washing his hands. Very aggressively, foam splashing everywhere.
Jimin sighed as he looked at him out of the corner of his eye. He was worried. His best friend was going through something, what he wasn't sure, but it was something. And it seemed serious. Yet, he hadn't asked him for help. Jimin knew how hard it is to ask for help, but he thought he and Taehyung were close enough for that.
He finished up his business and then went to stand in front of the sink, right next to Taehyung. He started to wash his hands as well, bumping their hips together. “You okay?” he asked, keeping his tone soft and even a little playful.
Taehyung finally stopped washing his hands, shaking them from the excessive water and then drying them in the purple towel next to the sink. “Yeah.” He wasn't even looking at Jimin.
“Tae.” Jimin dried his own hands and then took a step closer to his best friend.
“I'm fine.” replied Taehyung, his eyes fixed on the floor.
“I'm worried about you, Tae.” whispered Jimin. He touched Taehyung's bare bicep, squeezing down gently on it. “We all are.”
“I'm fine.” repeated Taehyung. He still didn't meet Jimin's gaze, instead he brushed off his hand and tried to walk past him.
Jimin grabbed his wrist, this time a little firmer and held him in place. “I'm not stupid.” He sighed, stepping once again closer to him. “I can tell you've been crying, Tae.”
“It's nothing.” Taehyung shook his head, biting down hard on his lower lip. “I-it's late... we... we should go back to sleep...” he freed himself from Jimin's grasp but didn't make an attempt to run away.
“My best friend has been crying on his own in the middle of the night and you expect me to just go back to sleep?” he tried not to sound too accusatory, but he didn't want to be too soft either. This looked serious. And he was worried. Even more worried after seeing Taehyung like that.
Taehyung looked away from him just as the first tears started to roll down his pale cheeks. “I'm sorry.” he sobbed out. He took a few steps back until his back was against the wall and then let himself slide to the ground. He brought his knees up to his chest and buried his face there, making his sobs sound muffled but also more heart-wrecking.
Jimin panicked a little. He had never seen Taehyung break down completely like that. He had seen him cry, but never like that. That was different. He hesitated for a second, but then realised that his best friend needed him. He locked the door and went to sit next to Taehyung.
The bathroom floor was even colder against the skin of his bare thighs, but he didn't care. He wrapped his right arm around Taehyung's shoulders and held him close to his chest. “Tae.” he called softly.
Taehyung shook his head, crying even harder.
“Tae, hey.” Taehyung sounded so desperate and miserable, that Jimin could feel his heart physically ache. “Hey, talk to me.”
“I-I-I'm s-sorry...” he sobbed out again.
Jimin couldn't understand what he was sorry for, so he just held him tighter. “Hey, it's okay. It's okay, baby.” He kissed the top of his head, before burying his nose in Taehyung's hair. It was greasy and unkempt, which was unusual even if they didn't have schedules. But Jimin didn't really care. It still smelled like Taehyung. “It's okay.” he repeated. And that's when he realised he was crying too.
“Jiminie, I'm so sorry.” cried again Taehyung. He shifted his body until he was in Jimin's lap, hiding his face in the crook of Jimin's neck as he kept sobbing. His hands clenched around fistful of Jimin's t-shirt. Jimin could feel it getting wet with all of their tears combined.
He didn't know how much time had passed when Taehyung finally started to calm down. He was petting his hair, holding him close because he was scared. He was terrified by how Taehyung must feel. And he was also hurting. He felt his heart clench inside his chest.
For a few moments, he thought about soulmates and psychic connections. Maybe that wasn't all bullshit. Maybe he and Taehyung were actually connected. But if they were, Jimin didn't want Taehyung to suffer even a small fraction of how much he was hurting.
Taehyung was just sniffling, now, his hand coming up to harshly wipe at his eyes and nose.
Jimin brushed his hair out of his eyes, tilting Taehyung's chin up so that their eyes could meet. “Hey.” he whispered softly.
Taehyung's face scrunched up into a grimace as a fresh wave of tears started flowing down his face.
“No, hey, hey, come on.” Jimin held his face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away all the tears they could catch. “It's okay. I've got you.” he reassured him and Taehyung seemed to believe him because his sobs relented. “Talk to me.”
“I'm really sorry, Jiminie.” whispered Taehyung. His voice sounded so thin and broken, but so, so deep.
“Why?”
Taehyung looked down, not able to meet his eyes. “Remember how I said I could handle the acting? How I've got this, how well I would do and make you all proud?”
Jimin hummed in affirmation.
“I didn't handle it, Jimin-ah.” he let out a soft sob but luckily, it stopped with that.
Maybe he's out of tears, thought Jimin.
“I fucked up. I kept forgetting my lines. I kept ruining scenes. The hyungs told me I still did well, but I could tell, Jiminie, I could tell that I fucked up.” he took a deep breath. “And now... now I'm so scared of fucking up on stage too. I can't... I can't focus anymore. I'm just so scared, Jiminie.” as he said the last words, he started crying again.
Okay, not out of tears.
Jimin held him against his chest again. Even if Taehyung was taller than him, he still fit perfectly in his hold. As if they were puzzle pieces meant to stick together. Once Taehyung's crying had subdued a little, Jimin spoke up, his tone gentle. “I don't know how you did in the drama. Taeminie hyung said Minho hyung told him you did very well, that you were amazing, and I know I wasn't there, but I bet you did well, Tae...”
Taehyung shook his head, smearing tears and snot over Jimin's skin. He would be grossed out in any other circumstance. But he wasn't. “No, I...” Taehyung took a shaking breath as he tried to explain himself. “I didn't just fuck up as Kim Taehyung, Jiminie.” Jimin was about to repeat himself, saying that he didn't fuck up, but was interrupted by Taehyung's ramblings. “I fucked up as Bangtan Sonyeondan's V. That's... that's what scares me even more. I... what if I'm bringing shame to our group? What if we're gonna lose fans? What if the hyungs will be disappointed?”
“No one will be disappointed in you, Tae.”
“But...”
“No, hey, listen.” Jimin stopped him by placing his thumb over Taehyung's lips. “Listen.” he repeated, drying Taehyung's tears. “I know I can't make these thoughts go away and magically make you feel better, but...” he searched his brain for the right words to say, not wanting to make things worse. “Tae. You are amazing. You are incredible. You never stop to amaze and surprise me. When I say I bet you did well with your acting, I mean it. I mean it because I know you, Tae. You work so hard and put your body and soul in everything you do. I don't care what some people may think. They only see a small side of you. I can see it all. And what I see is an amazing young man, working so hard and doing his best and guess what? He's doing amazing.” He stopped, smiling softly at Taehyung and brushing his thumb over his pink lips. “I know you won't believe me this easily, but...” he sighed, but he didn't let his smile drop. Taehyung looked up at him, his eyes shining with unshed tears and so big, Jimin could see his own reflection in them. “I will be right here to tell you how amazing I think you are. And I won't stop until you do believe me. And you know how stubborn I am.”
Taehyung let out a soft, wet chuckle. He closed his eyes and then rested his forehead against Jimin's chest. He took in a deep breath before speaking up. “I'm still so scared, Jiminie.”
“I know, baby.” whispered Jimin, wrapping him up in his arms. “But I'm right here.”
For a second Jimin thought Taehyung would start crying again, but he just sniffled a few times, hugging Jimin's torso tightly. They stayed like that, holding onto each other, Jimin's fingers into Taehyung's hair and Taehyung's hands fisting Jimin's t-shirt.
At some point, Jimin must have fallen asleep because when he opened his eyes again it was to find Taehyung kneeling in front of him, his long fingers gently brushing Jimin's hair out of his face.
“Sorry.” whispered Taehyung. “You look so beautiful when you're asleep.”
“Only when I'm asleep?” teased Jimin, making Taehyung chuckle.
“No. You're always beautiful.” said Taehyung. “You're a beautiful person, Park Jimin.”
Jimin didn't know how to answer that, so he just cleared his throat, looking away. “I'm not the only one who fell asleep, my butt did too.” he whined, scrunching up his nose as he stood up.
Taehyung quickly stood up as well, helping him steadying himself. “Come on, let's get you into bed.”
He grinned widely, as if he hadn't just spent a whole night crying his eyes out. And that was also something that scared the shit out of Jimin. How well Taehyung could hide his feelings. He was about to mention it, say that he didn't have to hide how he felt, especially with him, but his grin turned wicked. Before he knew it, he was being swept off his feet as Taehyung held him bridal-style and started to walk out of the bathroom. Only to crash against the closed door.
“Ouch.”
Jimin giggled, unlocking the door for him and then holding tightly onto Taehyung's strong shoulders as the younger boy effectively walked them out of the bathroom. Jimin stayed quiet, letting Taehyung bring him back to his room. Taehyung lowered him gently on his bed, smiling shyly before turning on his heels and attempting to run away.
But Jimin was faster. He grabbed Taehyung's wrist, making him turn back. “Stay.” he whispered, not wanting to wake Hoseok up.
Taehyung's eyes glanced over their hyung's bed, but Hoseok didn't even stir. “Yeah?”
“Yes.” Jimin nodded his head, smiling up at him. “Stay.”
Taehyung smiled back, this time more confident. He climbed into bed with him, snuggling against his body. Jimin secured him in his arms, holding him tightly. “Thanks, Jiminie.” It was just above a whisper and Jimin felt it against his skin more than he heard it.
“Anytime, Taehyungie.”