Chapter Text
“You picked him! It was supposed to be our adventure and you picked him!” Rodimus wasn’t looking at him now, he was looking at the door. Ready to make an escape.
“I didn’t pick him.” A calm voice replied.
Drift was trying to stop the false narrative from forming inside of Rodimus’s helm. Unknowingly, he had dug himself into a hole and hadn’t realized it until he and Rodimus had made it behind closed doors. He and Magnus had been supportive of Megatron’s integration into the Lost Light command staff, and when Rodimus voiced his concerns, Drift had eased Rodimus’s nerves by voicing his confidence in Megatron's abilities. Magnus had agreed, and Rodimus had immediately shut them out. Meal times became awkwardly silent. Breaks were separate. Rodimus stopped coming to sword practice. Drift only saw him during meetings now, or when rodimus would be walking in the halls. It was a staggering change in their routine, and it made Drift feel uncomfortable.
instead of easing rodimus, he had totally misread the situation, and confirmed the already growing suspicion in Rodimus’s mind. Drift knew his friend better than anyone. His confidence and bravado was a shell that protected his feelings of inferiority, and Drift had forgotten to look past the shell.
Rodimus was still looking at the door, but he hadn’t made his move yet. His body shifted to the side, and his arms came up to cross over his spark chamber. He was on the defense, against someone who was supposed to be his best friend. It hurt. His head hurt. His pedes hurt. But nothing hurt more than the sting of embarrassment that he felt upon arriving at his shift. Every cycle it came down like the crack of a whip. It felt like everyone was watching. His position as “co-captain” was a farce- and everyone knew it. Megatron had more experience, he’s more responsible, independent, regal, and hardworking. He was everything Optimus wanted Rodimus to be. And it ached to be reminded of that every cycle.
“Roddy. Look at me. Look.” Drift shuffled into Rodimus’s line of vision. “I misread your feelings about Megatron joining the crew- it was an honest mistake on my end. I said the wrong thing, and I didn’t mean it the way that you think I meant it.”
“How did you mean it then? What’s there to be misinterpreted. He has what it takes, and I don’t” Rodimus was still looking past him, he started walking to the exit.
“Stop. Please.” Drift reached out and Rodimus recoiled.
“No. I’m uncomfortable. I want to go to my hab. We can schedule a time to talk about this later.” And the ache was back. Rodimus was attempting to be professional about this. He was trying so hard.
“I’m uncomfortable too. I’m so sorry rodimus. I’m so sorry the words came out the way they did. What I meant was, I think he can grow. I think he can change, like I did. It’s true, he has more experience, and he holds himself differently. That doesn’t make you any less Rodimus. You’re not less. You’ve been doing so well—“
Rodimus wasn’t listening anymore. He hadn’t been doing well at all, and Magnus could attest to that. Magnus had attested to it, in the many reports he wrote to Optimus about the tragic difference between Rodimus’s leadership style in comparison to Megatrons. Optimus had called Rodimus for many long talks after the reports reached him, and after so long, all Rodimus could do was agree.
He was so close to just calling it. To stepping down from command staff, and finding a different position on the ship. He could already feel the shame. A good number of people on the Lost Light appreciated him as captain, but it was becoming so hard. The ship was a gift. From Drift, to him. He owned the ship. Or, he had owned it, until Optimus decided otherwise.
“It’s ok. I forgive you. You didn’t mean it.” Rodimus was going for the door again.
“I don’t know what else to say Rodimus. I believe in you, I will always believe in you. You are my captain.-“
“And Megatron is your captain now, too.”
“Yeah. He is. That doesn’t mean he rules over you-“ drift couldn’t finish before the door swooshed open, before rodimus had even reached it. Magnus was there, looking a strange mix of bored and uncomfortable. The average Magnus look.
“Is there a meeting going on that I wasn’t….informed of?” Magnus rumbled, looking between a distressed drift and a stoic Rodimus. Stoic had become Rodimus’s default for the past deca cycle. After his fit of exasperation and having his position split to two mechs, the anger had just dissolved. Magnus knew better, he knew Rodimus was just checking out. When he heard Drift and Rodimus’s rather, loud, conversation, all the way out from the hall, he knew he had to investigate.
“There’s no meeting, but like I said, if one needs to be scheduled-“
“We’re not scheduling a meeting Rodimus. We’re dealing with this here and now.” Drift straightened, confidence in his faceplates. Rodimus couldn’t have looked more opposite.
“I already forgave you.” Rodimus seethed.
“Roddy.” Drifts faceplates slackened. “I’ve missed you so much. The ship keeps going, the crew could keep going, but I’m here for you, not them. This is our adventure. Let megatron be captain of this ship. I’ll buy you a new ship.-
You would buy him a thousand ships. Magnus thought.
—I’m not letting you go through this alone anymore. Please come back to me.”
Rodimus met his optics, his chest plates rose as he took in air through his vents, then lowered as he let it out.
“Come to my habsuite with me.” Rodimus leaned forward, and wrapped his servos around Drift. Drift encircled Rodimus with his own servos, spark squeezing in anxiety.
Magnus hummed, and placed a servo on Rodimus’s shoulder plating. Rodimus’s spark felt tight in its casing. He wasn’t fully back. He didn’t fully feel okay, but he was willing to try. With Drift he would try.
Magnus was still a maybe. He wouldn’t be joining him at swerve’s anytime soon.