Chapter Text
Charles was tired.
The school was barely rebuilt, thanks to Jean and Erik, and the children already had to learn how to fight. He already knew that he would spend the next days on the phone, trying to reach someone high ranking enough to yell at for invading the school and kidnap his children students and Erik’s calm presents next to him felt painfully familiar, no matter how desperately he tried not to get used to it. Because at the end of the day Erik would still leave him the school.
"The world has already begun to rebuild its arsenals.", he said softly, his eyes not leaving the little group around his sister. He didn't need to look at Erik to know the look in his eyes - some things would never change, no matter how many years passed.
"It's human nature, Charles." There was a tiredness in his voice, a weariness that broke Charles' heart all over again.
"I still have hope.", he simply replied. Yes, because it was true but also because he small, maybe childish part in him wanted that to be enough for Erik.
He heard a soft but humourless laugh coming out of Erik’s mouth and finally turned around.
Erik looked up at the ceiling, his lips curled into a smile and the look in his eyes almost gentle. "Ah, yes.", he mused before he looked aside towards Charles. "Hope."
There was a small part in Charles that couldn’t help but notice how it was still such a powerful thing being the subject of Erik’s full attention. There was an intensity in his eyes that made Charles, for once, feel like it wasn’t him who could look into other people’s mind and pull out their deepest secrets. Not that he would tell Erik about that. He had lost that privilege a long time ago. Also it would've probably been more than inappropriate, considering everything else.
“I was right about Raven.”, he simply said instead, a gentle, almost teasing smile on his lips, “I was even right about you.”
His heart clenched painfully when Eriks eyes found his. He wasn't sure if they looked at eachother for seconds, minutes or even hours – and a part of him found that it didn't really matter anyway. He could almost taste the conflict within Eriks mind.
You weren't right about me. I joined him. I lashed out because I was in pain. I betrayed you. I hurt you.
You just experienced a horrible, unspeakable loss. You still chose the right side eventually. You are a good person, my friend. I've always seen it and now you proved it to the rest of the world when you helped us to defeat Apocalypse.
After I helped him rip the world apart in the first place.
You were in pain and he manipulated you.
Erik softly shook his head, a pain-filled smile on his lips.
“What about the rest of the world?”, he asked, swiftly changing the subject of the unspoken conversation. “Doesn't it ever wake you up in the middle of the night?”
Charles cocked his head slightly to the side, a silent question in his eyes, unsure what exactly it was, that Erik was asking him.
“The feeling that one day they’ll come for you? And your children?”
Charles felt the unshed tears in his eyes but he refused to break eye contact. “It does indeed.”, he simply said, searching in Eriks eyes for – for what? An answer that he didn’t want to pull out of his mind?
“What do you do when you wake up to that?”, Erik asked and Charles wondered if the honest curiosity in his voice was really there, or just a fragment of Charles’ imagination, something that he so desperately longed for that his mind tried to convince him that it was there.
“I feel a great deal of pity for the poor soul coming to my school looking for trouble.”
Even while the words left his mouth he knew they were exactly what Erik had wanted to hear. That Charles would still fight back with everything he had to protect the young mutants in his care. That he would be alright on his own.
That Erik could leave without risking him or the children getting shipped off into some lab.
Charles knew that and he hated the part of him that wished he had given a different answer. An answer that would’ve made Erik stay.
He already knew that this was a goodbye for an unsayable amount of time, but still -
“Are you sure I can’t convince you to stay?”
An honest smile spread across Eriks face, maybe the first he had seen in a very long time.
“You’re psychic Charles.”, he simply said, before he walked past him, briefly putting his hand on his shoulder, “You can convince me to do anything.”
Charles’ heart clenched painfully. That wasn’t what he wanted and they both knew it. Before he could stop himself he softly asked, while turning around: “If I asked…. Would you stay?”
Erik froze for a moment before turning around and looking at him, an unreadable expression in his eyes and Charles didn’t dare to look into his mind, scared of what he would find there if he did. Then, slowly, almost calculating, Erik made his way over to him and crouched down next to his wheelchair, so that now he was the one who had to look up to Charles. He raised his hand to cup his cheek in a gesture that felt gentle, almost loving.
“Of course.”, he whispered, his eyes locked with Charles’.
Charles didn’t need to be a telepath to realize what Erik was offering him. For once, he offered him to stay and the realization that Charles wouldn’t, couldn’t take his offer broke the telepaths heart. He knew that Erik truly would stay if he asked him to right now and he knew that Erik wanted him to ask.
But he also knew that Erik wasn’t cut out to stay at the school, not on the long run. And sooner or later he would start to resent him for that and Charles felt too selfish to allow that to happen.
So he simply leaned into Eriks touch, just for a heartbeat, and closed his eyes to compose himself. He needed all his strength for this.
For doing the right thing for Erik, for himself.
The unshed tears were burning in his eyes when he opened them again and he forced himself to smile. “Goodbye, old friend.”, he whispered and the understanding in Eriks eyes healed his heart and tore it apart a little bit more at the same time.
“Good luck, Professor.”, Erik replied softly, his thumb caressing Charles’ cheekbone one last time before standing up, turning around and walking straight into the elevator without looking back.