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Worth It

Summary:

Peter and Tony discuss things before arriving on Titan. (Infinity War spoilers)

Notes:

THANKS INFINITY WAR. Really appreciated all those emotions. Really.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“We’re in freakin’ space,” Peter said, staring out into the cosmos. Everything was moving quickly, far more quickly than any human tech could possibly manage, and Peter wondered how fast they were travelling. They might be in warp drive. It was unbearably cool.

“Yeah, kid, that’s space alright,” Tony replied, but he didn’t seem nearly as awed. He actually sounded exhausted. Peter glanced over at him, pulling his attention away from the unfamiliar stars and galaxies visible through the -- windshield? Was it a windshield on a spaceship? Probably it was the wrong time to ask, because Tony was quiet and withdrawn.

Tony was a lot of things, but quiet and withdrawn wasn’t anywhere on that list.

“Mr. Stark,” Peter said hesitantly. “About what you said before. This is a one-way trip, isn’t it?”

Tony flashed him a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes and said, “We’re getting you home, kid, no worries there.”

Peter looked over his shoulder, but Dr. Strange was on the other side of the bridge, looking for any sort of manifesto. He’d mentioned wanting to know how to stop once they’re arrived, something Peter had just assumed they could figure out from poking buttons or seeing what lit up when the nav system reached its destination. Dr. Strange had muttered something unflattering about cavalier attitudes and had gone off to search for more information anyway.

Which was good, because Peter had to make a declaration. From the moment he’d found himself clinging to the outer shell of a spaceship clearly going out of Earth’s atmosphere and into the depths of space, he’d known that touching down on Earth again was a fleeting possibility. And he desperately wanted to go back home and get back on the bus with Ned and pretend like none of this had ever happened, but…

Can’t change the past. He couldn’t have let go of Strange back there, knowing that it was dooming his entire planet. He couldn’t back out now. Even if by some miracle Tony had found the escape pod that he’d spent the first hour of their journey searching for, they were too far from Earth now to return.

Peter didn’t even think that even Tony could have talked him into one. This wasn’t the kind of fight you could turn your back on and live with yourself after. Peter knew more than he ought to about living with guilt, and the pain he felt when he thought about Uncle Ben wouldn’t even compare to what he’d have to live with if he stepped aside and let Thanos gather the infinity stones without a fight.

Peter was right where he needed to be, no matter how it might turn out.

“Mr. Stark,” Peter said again, squaring his shoulders. “Some things are worth it. We’re going to take Thanos down.”

He couldn’t quite make himself say the d-word; the thought of his Aunt May continuing without him and never even knowing why made him nauseous and unsteady. He couldn’t make himself say, “I’ll die for this cause, Mr. Stark, if it means saving everyone else.” He didn’t think Tony needed to hear it, anyway-- Tony was staring intently at a distant star, hands worrying at a loose panel of the ship’s control module absently, deliberately not looking at Peter.

“Kid,” he said, and his voice cracked, just a little. A lump formed in Peter’s throat; Tony always had the solution, and that was the final confirmation he needed that they were flying blind into this confrontation. “Peter. I appreciate your confidence. Just the kind of pep we need. Think there’s any possibility you’d stay on the sidelines and cheer the grown-ups on? I bet Stranger Danger over there could magic you up some pom-poms.”

Peter didn’t ask, just leaned in gave Tony the quickest side-hug he could manage before saying, “No way, Mr. Stark, you don’t get to hog all the fun. Besides, I’m the only one here with actual superpowers.”

Tony didn’t even pull away, just blinked rapidly a few times. “I’m not sure that clinging to Thanos like a little spider-monkey would be helpful.”

“You never know,” Peter said. “Plus, we get to see space! For realsies!”

“Been there, done that,” Tony said glibly, and just like that, it all clicked together for Peter. He’d known, of course, what Tony had done in the when the Chitauri invaded, and knowledge that this wasn’t Tony’s first suicide mission -- not even his first time launching himself into the cosmos with no intention of ever returning -- settled roughly within Peter.

A thousand offhand comments and observations, worried looks from Ms. Potts and even some of Happy’s gruff complaints clicked into one undeniable picture.

“You knew, didn’t you,” Peter said slowly. “You’ve known from the beginning.”

Tony had been preparing for this day for years.

Peter hadn’t, Peter had been running down bike thieves and muggers like it meant anything in the grand scheme of things, and now he was here, about to join a fight he was in no way prepared for. But they were in space, no turning back now, flying towards an unknown planet to battle an all-powerful being for the fate of the planet, and Peter couldn’t back down.

He might not have been preparing for this, but he could do his best to help. There was a tiny flare of hope within him that they might win, that they might get to return home and see their families again. After all, Dr. Strange had the time stone around his neck, and surely that was worth something in the fight. Surely they could win.

But if not… The only thing that mattered was keeping Thanos from achieving his goal.

He couldn’t hide from this fight any more than Tony could.

Tony just nodded quickly, as though brushing away any extraneous emotions, and said, “We’re gonna kick ass and get you back by bedtime. Don’t think I’m not pissed about your stowaway act.”

“You can’t ground me, there’s no ground,” Peter said, pushing the despair down deep because if he was going to die out in space, at least he could enjoy the ride. He was seeing things no human had ever seen before. He gestured out the window. “Space.”

“Space,” Tony agreed, and a tiny smile broke through. “Well, you know what they say, never tell me the odds.”

“Damn right,” Peter said, offering his fist to bump. Tony looked at it wryly, clearly wanting to make fun of him, but instead just lightly bumped his knuckles against Peter’s.

They were going to keep the infinity stones safe. They had to.

It was the only way.

Notes:

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