Chapter Text
“Dude, hurry up with that thing, will ya?”
Dipper Pines peered up from his work to look at his friend, John. “What the heck is your hurry, dude?” he asked. “I still don’t understand why you had me lug this all the way here.” He gestured up towards the sky. “Meteor showers are best seen with the naked eye. Trying to zoom in on one of them with a telescope is like trying to follow a taxi as it drives through traffic from on top of a skyscraper.”
John opened his mouth to speak, but Dipper cut him off. “And no, your shooter game skills are of no help here. Real snipers don’t use video game controllers to zero in on their marks.”
John shook his head. “That isn’t why I had you bring the telescope.”
Dipper sighed in exasperation. “Then why?”
“Because, man! This meteor shower thing isn’t supposed to happen again around here for like three hundred years, right?”
“Two hundred and ninety-seven years, three months, and six days to be exact, but yeah.”
“Heh, nerd,” John grinned. “So that means lots of people are probably gonna come watch, right?”
Dipper thought about it. “Well, yeah. This is one of the best places for stargazing in Sacramento.”
“And that means there’s bound to be some girls!”
Dipper rolled his eyes. Figures, he thought. “Seriously, John?” he asked. “You had me bring my telescope—an expensive birthday present, by the way—all the way to Ancil Hoffman Park just so you could ogle some girls?”
John simply shrugged.
Dipper shook his head. “Well, while I’m sure that, statistically speaking, the odds of there being girls here to watch the shower are in your favor, I’d wager that at least half of them will be here with boyfriends or girlfriends, and most of those that aren’t and are roughly our age are probably way out of your league.”
“You’re being too pessimistic, Dip-stick,” John assured. “Just hurry up with that telescope, alright?” He turned to watch as more people began to gather in the park, then reached into his backpack and pulled out a pair of binoculars.
Dipper just gaped at him. He brought binoculars? he thought. That just makes the telescope redundant! He growled under his breath and went back to work adjusting the telescope’s settings. “And what happens when, after trying your luck with every girl on earth who strikes your fancy, they all turn you down?”
John appeared to think about it for a moment. “Guess I’ll try my luck with guys, then,” he concluded.
That made Dipper whip his head around to look at his friend. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he said. “Did you just come out to me? I didn’t know you swung that way.”
John just shrugged. “I’m more of a trisexual,” he remarked. “I’m willing to try pretty much anything.” A wicked grin grew on his face, one Dipper recognized well, and he waggled his eyebrows. “Whattaya say, Dipper?” he asked. “If none of the girls are interested, you wanna maybe catch a movie sometime?”
Dipper really didn’t know what to say. Such a statement was among the last things he ever anticipated from John, and the invitation was even less expected. He had no idea if John was even serious about anything he’d just said. Instead of answering, Dipper just turned around and redoubled his efforts on prepping the telescope. Over his shoulder, he heard John chuckle.
*********
“What do you think about this spot, Cheryl?” Mabel Corbitt inquired, turning to her friend, who was coming up behind her with a plaid blanket tucked under her arm.
Cheryl looked at the area in front of them and nodded. Grinning, Mabel watched as Cheryl spread the blanket on the ground and she set a picnic basket down in the middle. The two friends took seats on either side and Mabel opened the basket, pulling out a pair of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, followed by a thermos and two plastic cups. Cheryl looked warily at the thermos as Mabel poured out a red concoction, flecks of glitter catching the waning light of the day. “Oh, no…Mabel Juice?” she asked. “I thought we agreed you wouldn’t bring that with you.”
Mabel blew a raspberry at her and tutted at her with a grin, revealing a set of perfect teeth. She’d only just finished enduring the years-long process of braces and had just stopped having to wear her retainer, so she had gotten into the habit of flashing her pearly whites even more than she had before, which was often. “A special occasion demands a special treat to accompany it, and what better treat than Mabel Juice? Besides, we don’t know how long this meteor shower’s gonna last, so we might need the energy.”
“Yeah, but…Mabel Juice?” Cheryl replied. “Last time I had some, I swear I was up for three days straight and could feel the rotation of the Earth shift as I began to move faster than it.” She stuck her tongue out in disgust.
Mabel grinned knowingly. “Ah, that’s right, you had a sip of the ‘Triple-Strength Secrets-of-the-Universe’ blend.”
“Yeah…a sip!”
Mabel just waved her off. “Relax, Cheryl,” she went on. “That was because we had that big test to study for. This is just regular, baseline Mabel Juice.” She handed a Dixie cup of the drink to her friend. “You might not get any sleep tonight, but I promise that’s all!”
Cheryl took the cup and held it gingerly in her hand, as if one of the plastic dinosaurs inside might spring to life at any moment. “Ever since you moved here from Fresno last month, my life has gotten a hundred percent weirder. You know that, Mabel?”
Mabel simply flashed her bright smile again. “Mission accomplished!” she said before downing her entire cup of juice in one shot.
*********
“You get that ready yet?” John asked.
“John, if you keep asking that, I’m just gonna pack up and go home,” Dipper retorted, at his wits end. “Just give me another minute, alright?”
“Alright, alright, sorry!” John replied. “Chill.” Dipper was greeted with some blessed silence for once. Presumably, John was scoping out the crowd while there was still enough sunlight. Suddenly, he heard, “WHOA!”
He turned to see what had happened to find John staring wide-eyed through his binoculars. “What?” he asked. “What is it?”
“Couple of real hotties over there,” John said, a grin sprouting on his face.
Dipper let out another exasperated sigh. How many, he’d lost count. “You think your mind can operate on more than one track at a time, man?” he asked.
“Dude, you haven’t seen them!” John replied, taking his binoculars away from his eyes and extending them to Dipper.
Dipper just pushed them away. “Come on. I don’t have long before the light’s all gone.”
John was insistent, jabbing the binoculars into Dipper’s chest. “Dude, I’m serious,” he insisted, “just take a look!”
Dipper looked into John’s eyes and could see that, strangely enough, he appeared earnest. “Okay, okay.” He accepted the binoculars and turned to see where John had been looking.
“Over there,” John said, pointing down the open area. “Sitting on that plaid blanket about a hundred yards down.”
Dipper nodded and put the binoculars to his eyes and looked where he had indicated. The first thing he spotted was a head of curly, jet black hair. Its owner turned her head enough to give him a good look at her profile. She seemed familiar… “I think I’ve seen her at school,” he noted. “Shirley…no, Cheryl! Cheryl Wilcox.”
“What about the other girl?” John asked.
“I haven’t got a look at her yet, hold on…” Dipper adjusted the focus and aimed just beyond Cheryl.
All at once, time seemed to slow to a crawl. Smiling and laughing next to Cheryl was one of the prettiest girls he’d ever seen. Her hair looked like it was maybe the same shade as his own, but that wasn’t what caught his attention; it was her face. Just looking at her face made him feel giddy, and when she smiled her face seemed to glow. There were only a couple of other girls he would conceivably rate as being on the same level as this girl, but those two both lived hundreds of miles away. This girl was just a short walk away...
“Whoa…” he finally said.
“Right?!” John added. “You recognize her?”
Dipper shook his head, but he knit his brow. While he didn’t recognize her from school, there was something…familiar about her…but damned if he could place it.
*********
Cheryl caught a glint of something in the corner of her eye. “Huh?” she asked to no one in particular, turning to see what she’d seen. She looked towards the edge of the field and she saw it, the sunlight reflecting on the lenses of a pair of binoculars looking in their general direction. She narrowed her eyes. “Uh oh...”
“What?” Mabel asked, curious.
“I’m not sure,” Cheryl replied, “but I think we might have someone looking at us.” She nodded towards the source of the reflection.
Mabel glanced that way and saw it, too. Rather than frown, she just grinned wider. “You think they might be cute?”
Cheryl gave her a scandalized look. “Probably a couple of creepy old men. They should go home and take their Metamucil or something.”
“Aw, come on!” Mabel countered. “I bet they aren’t that bad.”
“No, they’re probably even worse,” Cheryl persisted. “Maybe some nasty serial killers or something.”
“Aw, you’re all so doom-and-gloom,” Mabel said, looking back towards their mystery admirer with curiosity.
*********
Dipper didn’t know how long he stood staring through the binoculars before he became aware that something was jabbing into his shoulder blade. A moment later, he realized that it was John’s finger and that he was talking to him.
“Hell-OOOOOOOO…Ground control to Major Pines,” John called. “What are you still doing here?”
“Huh?” Dipper asked, finally prying his eyes away to look at his friend. “What?”
John gestured from him to where the girls sat. “What do you mean, what?” he asked. “Let’s get over there, man!”
Realization dawned on Dipper and he shook his head. “Oh, no no no,” he said. “Those two are so far out of our league, it’s not even funny.” He turned back to the telescope and tried to focus on making the last adjustments.
“You don’t know that,” John insisted. “Well, okay, maybe Cheryl. But you don’t know that about the other girl!”
Dipper shook his head. “If she’s friends with Cheryl Wilcox, that’s all the proof I need that she’s out of my league.” He knit his brow and turned back to John. “Wait, wait…why are you trying to push me into going over there? Looking for girls here was your idea.”
“Dude, I saw the way you were staring at her,” John said. “You have got it bad. You need to get your ass over there and talk to her, like, now!”
Dipper looked down the way towards the blanket and its occupants. Was it possible he had a chance? No, more likely they’d just laugh in his face, he decided. He shook his head again.
John shot him a glare. “So you are saying that you’d rather go on a date with me?”
That made Dipper think again. Sure, John was his friend, so he could at least try and pass it off as no big deal…assuming John was being serious about not being necessarily straight…wait, why was he even analyzing this?!
Sensing the gears turning in Dipper’s head, John just grinned and took him by the shoulders. “Dude, I’ve known you since you moved here from Piedmont in Kindergarten. In all that time, I’ve only heard you talk about one girl. It’s time you got your mind off of redheads.” With that, John began steering him towards the two girls and pushed him into walking their way.
*********
“Oh my gosh!” Mabel exclaimed. “They’re coming this way.”
Cheryl perked up. “What?” She turned back to look and saw a pair of people walking down the hill and in their general direction. She narrowed her eyes, trying to discern some features while they were still far enough away that they could make a break for it, if they needed. As they drew nearer, she was able to make out a few details. “Okay, so they’re not creepy old men…but it is a couple of guys,” she observed. “Actually, they look like they might be around our age.”
Mabel began to grin. “Hah, see?” she said. “Told ya you were getting worked up over nothing.” She looked past her friend towards the approaching boys. She could see that the boy in front seemed to be trying to turn away. Was the other boy pushing him? As they passed underneath a light pole, she finally got a look at their faces and her expression froze. The boy being pushed was cute. Like, adorably cute! His hair looked like it was her color, but far more unkempt, especially in the front. Adorable maybe wasn’t the right word…a-dork-able, that sounded more apt.
“Oh, one of them’s cuuuuuuuuute,” she heard Cheryl say, bringing her out of her daze. She suddenly noticed that her heart was fluttering. When had that happened? Was it always like that? No, that only happened with the boys she fancied. But her mother had always forbidden her from going out with any guys until she’d graduated. She quickly turned away and began to busy herself with the picnic basket, pulling out a peanut butter and jelly bean sandwich and took a big bite out of it.
“Oh, wait a second, I think I recognize these guys,” she heard Cheryl say. “They go to our school. The cute one’s a bit weird, actually. Believes in aliens and zombies and all kinds of crazy stuff…you’d like him.”
Mabel began to blush. Was Cheryl about to try and act like a matchmaker? That was her job! She began to turn to tell her off, but stopped when he saw how close the two boys were by now. She heard Cheryl giggle at her behavior.
The next several seconds were interminable as Mabel tried not to think about the cute boy coming her way. Conversely, Dipper was wishing he had some sort of latent superpower that would allow him to freeze time so he could get away from John. No matter how he tried to wriggle free, his friend was right there to steer him back towards the girls. His protests were met with variations of “Oh, no you don’t.” Until at last, despite all his efforts, they had come up to the side of the girls’ blanket.
Dipper was sweating, his heart beating a drum solo in his chest. The only thing keeping him from just passing out was the fact that only Cheryl was looking at them. The mystery girl seemed to be acting demure; she’d turned away and was avoiding looking at them.
It was Cheryl who greeted them. “Hello, boys,” she announced. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
Dipper stayed silent, vigorously shaking his head no. He felt a jabbing finger in his ribs and he let out a yelp. “Why, yes,” John answered. “We recognized you from school. You’re Cheryl, right?” Cheryl nodded noncommittally. “I’m John, and my friend was wondering if he could speak to your friend there.”
From her spot, Mabel let out an “Eep!” OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG,she thought, but she still didn’t turn to look at them.
Cheryl looked at her and smiled knowingly. “Well, you can try,” she said, “but my friend seems to have come down with a case of stage fright.”
“What a coincidence,” John chuckled. “My friend seems to have the same affliction.” He turned to Dipper playfully, getting a sour glare from Dipper in return before again addressing the girls. “Your friend looks like she’s new here.”
“She moved to town just a few weeks ago.”
“May we have the honor of her name?”
Cheryl turned to Mabel and gestured with her head towards the boys. “Go on,” she whispered, nudging her arm. “Tell them.”
Mabel finally managed to look over at the two boys. “M-Mabel,” she said softly. “Mabel Corbitt.” Dipper thought that Mabel was a wonderful name. It seemed to fit her like a glove. “Wh-what’s your name?”
Dipper gulped. “D-Di…D—”
“His name’s Dipper Pines,” John finished for him.
Mabel blinked. “Dipper?” she asked, a little confused. “What kind of a name is Dipper?”
Dipper began to blush. She hated him just based on his name, he just knew it. He tried once more to turn and escape, but John held him fast and before he could stop him, John had swiped up his bangs to reveal his forehead. Just like that, his odd birthmark was there for the girls to see. He began to blush like mad. “It’s a nickname,” John replied, “see?”
Mabel looked at Dipper’s forehead and slowly grinned in understanding. “Ohhhh, that’s cool!” Dipper paused. She…likes his nickname? She…didn’t think he was a freak? “So, what’s your real name?” she asked.
“Uh…Um…I-it’s Mason,” he finally managed to say.
Mabel repeated the name in her head: Mason Pines…Dipper Pines… She liked them. They were both good names.
“So anyway,” John pressed on, not wanting to lose the moment, “my friend, Dipper, was wondering if Ms. Mabel is busy this Saturday.” Dipper turned to stare at John. What was he doing?! Was he actually going to play matchmaker here? He opened his mouth to protest.
“In fact,” Cheryl answered before he could speak, “she’s free this Saturday.”
John’s grin became a wide smile. “Would Mabel be interested in seeing a movie with Dipper this Saturday?”
Dipper turned and gaped at John. Saturday? Even if he had wanted to ask this Mabel girl out, and he was still debating that in his head, this Saturday was no good: he’d agreed to help his dad with some yard work. He tried to shake his head and speak, but John just slapped a hand over his mouth and turned him back around again.
Mabel, for her part, was too starry-eyed to raise a protest. All thought of her mother’s rule against dating was the furthest thing from her mind. “Mabel would just love to go to a movie with Dipper,” Cheryl said, grinning like the cat that got the rat.
“Excellent!” John gushed, though it was partially masked by yet another attempt by Dipper to speak up. “I’ll make sure he meets her at the theater at one.”
Cheryl nodded. “And I’ll make sure she’s there to meet him.”
“Great,” John replied, his smile gaining a little bit of a sly edge. “And as long as we’re both going to be there,” he went on, “I don’t suppose you would be interested in seeing a movie with me?”
Cheryl looked at him shrewdly, though her grin stayed in place. “I thought you were here to set your friend up with mine.”
“Think of it as killing two birds with one stone,” John countered.
“I prefer to think of it as a little man trying to bite off more than he can chew,” Cheryl retorted. “You’ve got your hands full enough with Dipper here.”
“So you’re saying that if we get these two obvious lovebirds together, you’ll go out with me?”
“Don’t get your hopes up, ‘little man.’”
“That wasn’t a ‘no,’” John grinned.
Cheryl sighed. “If it’ll make you two finally go away before the meteor shower starts, fine,” she relented. “Just go back to your peeping.” She gestured with a sweeping motion towards the hill the boys had been standing on.
John just kept grinning, nodding to the both of them and bowing theatrically. “It was a pleasure making your acquaintances. We’ll see you there this Saturday. Enjoy the meteor shower.” With that, he steered Dipper away and finally let him go.
*********
Dipper waited until they were outside of earshot to finally speak up. “Are you insane?!” he asked, incredulous. “Bad enough you set me up on a date with someone I only barely met, but you set it up for Saturday!”
“Yeah, so?” John asked. “What’s the big deal?”
“The big deal,” Dipper went on, “is that I’m supposed to help my dad around the house on Saturday.”
John paused. “Okay, that is a bit of a problem.” He quickly recovered, waving Dipper off. “Ah, your dad’ll understand. He was young, too, once, right?”
“And just what do you propose I do about this?” Dipper asked. “I’d look like a piece of crap if I went back over there and tried to cancel right after you set us up, even though I have a reason to, and I can’t be in two places at once.”
“Well, why not tell your dad that we had a surprise test announced and we need to study. I can come pick you up so he’ll think I’m taking you to my place.”
Dipper thought about that. His dad wouldn’t be pleased with the sudden change in plans, but… “He would want me to make sure I was keeping my grades up,” he reasoned. “That might work. Then again, it might not.”
“Come on, Dipper,” John said. “Didn’t you tell me how that great-uncle you spent your summers with was a con man? Didn’t you pick up any skills from him?”
“Well, yeah,” he replied. “Stanley Pines is a master. How could I not learn some of his tricks?” Dipper couldn’t help but smirk. “Never thought I’d have to try and run a con on my dad, though,” he said. “Guess I’ve got no choice.”
*********
When the two boys were finally walking away, Mabel came out of her daze and what Cheryl had done finally dawned on her. “Oh my god, Cheryl, what have you done?”
Cheryl looked at her quizzically. “What?” she asked.
“I can’t go on a date this Saturday. I can’t go on a date at all!”
“Why not?”
Mabel threw her hands in the air. “Because my mom won’t let me till I’m eighteen,” she lamented. “It suuuuuuuuuuuucks, but I can’t do anything about it.”
Cheryl thought about it. “Well...we’re meeting them at the movies, right?”
Mabel nodded. “Yeah.”
“So, just tell her that you’re going to the movies with me. Then she’ll be none the wiser.”
Mabel thought about that. “Maybe…” she said, though she was still uncertain.
“Oh, don’t worry so much,” Cheryl insisted. “What’s with this attitude anyway? Ever since I first saw you, you’ve been so bubbly, I expect you to take off like a bottle rocket at the drop of a hat, but now you’re like some meek little lamb.”
Mabel shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said. “I guess it’s just, my mom’s been pretty insistent on me not dating. You know how parents are like, right? You do something wrong and they say they aren’t mad, they’re just—”
“Disappointed,” they both finished together. Cheryl nodded knowingly.
“And somehow that feels a hundred times worse than if they were just mad at you?” Mabel continued. “I guess it’s something like that. She’s fine with me having lots of friends, though, so I mean it’s not too bad.”
Cheryl patted Mabel’s arm. “Well, you can count on me to not let her find out about Mister Dipper Pines.”
Mabel grinned back at her. Despite her misgivings about going against her mother’s wishes, she was very interested to learn more about young Mr. Pines.