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Year 1

It was September 1st, and Platform 9 ¾ was crowded for yet another school year in Hogwarts. All along the platform, students ran from one place to another, meeting their friends after the long, warm summer and showing off their new magical stationery. Parents were also engrossed in enthusiastic chatter, talking about politics and the newest pronouncement from the Minister of Magic.

Being back to school was a relief to some children, and a drag to others. It was certain, however, that no one was more nervous than the fresh batch of first-years. To be exposed to the magic of Hogwarts for the first time was something unique, which made even the students who came from magical families shiver in anticipation.

The ceiling seemed a million meters high to small Baekhyun, a muggle-born boy of only eleven years old. The architecture reflected light in a way that made magic look as real and tangible as he had recently found out it was; he still couldn’t really believe that he was lucky enough to be a wizard. Baekhyun expected to wake up any time now, rolling off his bed and realizing he was late to math class at his old, ordinary middle school. He didn’t understand what exactly made him eligible for such an incredible opportunity, but one thing was for sure – he was going to make the most of it.

The Hogwarts Express whistled loudly, steam coming from the chimney. It was finally time to go. Baekhyun received a last kiss from his parents, hugging them tightly before grabbing a carriage that was probably twice his size and entering the train. They had an overprotective tendency, and his mother had packed way more clothes than he’d ever be able to use. He’d probably spend all his time in a uniform, anyway.

Walking along the main aisle, his bag dragging right after, Baekhyun looked for a place to sit. Most compartments seemed to be already filled with students, who either chatted or ate snacks together. Baekhyun once again felt sorry for himself – during the summer, he had worried extensively about feeling left out in the middle of all these kids who had grown up with magic. Being a muggleborn, he knew absolutely no one in the wizarding community, which meant that he was probably already a step behind most of them. He’d have to work hard to close that gap.

Finally, Baekhyun found a compartment with only two boys – one was sound asleep, completely sprawled over the long seat, and another sat quietly on the opposite side of the wagon, reading a surprisingly big paperback.

What kind of 11-year-old reads books this big?, Baekhyun wondered to himself, before entering the cabin.

“Um, hi.” The boy stopped his reading, eyes now focused on Baekhyun, “Can I sit here? The train is pretty crowded already.”

“Sure.” The stranger offered a friendly smile, putting down his book. He seemed a little too young to be there, but the impression was probably because of his big eyes and cute heart-shaped lips. “My name is Kyungsoo.”

“I’m Baekhyun. Nice to meet you!” Baekhyun flashed his million watt smile, the kind that never failed in making new friendships or putting him in a teacher’s good side. It was his most angelic trait and his deadliest weapon. “Uh… Do you know who that is?”

Kyungsoo looked at where Baekhyun was pointing before giving a half-hearted shrug. “He was here when I arrived, and I just kind of stayed because this seemed to be the quietest wagon around. I’m kind of bad at talking to new people, and I really wanted to finish this chapter before we left.”

“Oh, I see.” Baekhyun felt a little regretful for being intrusive like that. In his hurry to find a seat, he hadn’t even considered that maybe the other boy didn’t want company.

“No, no, don’t worry! It’s perfectly fine!” Kyungsoo’s eyes grew even bigger when he realized what he had implied on accident, “I’ve finished the chapter, and you seem very nice! Also, I’d like not to be alone when he wakes up. That would be very awkward.”

“Well, if you say so… Are you a first year as well?”

“Yeah! I’m very nervous, actually.” Kyungsoo looked out the window, where the beautiful scenery of the English countryside presented itself to whoever cared to look. “My family has a big tradition in the Ravenclaw house, and I’m afraid that I might not make it.”

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” Baekhyun eyed Kyungsoo’s book, which was probably bigger than anything he’d ever read. “I have no idea which house I’ll be in. I’m trying not to think too much about it.”

“Either way, it’s not like there is a bad choice. Every house has its perks and its flaws, as well as the students.” Kyungsoo had never liked prejudices of any kind. Not people who made fun of Hufflepuff, nor people who looked with disgust to Slytherin. He felt it was unfair to judge something based on mere popular opinion, without real facts to base their opinions in. “Just don’t overthink it and you’ll be fine.”

“Spoken like a true Ravenclaw to be.” Baekhyun remembered his intense summer readings, trying to make sense of this huge new world that had suddenly decided to show itself to him. Ravenclaw, where those of wit and learning will always find their kind, said Hogwarts: A History. Kyungsoo, who now smiled shyly at the floor, would fit right in.

As they boarded in the boats, Kyungsoo by his side, Baekhyun looked around; some groups were already moving around seemingly without as much as a paddle. It really is magic, thought Baekhyun. He wondered if he’d ever get used to it, or start to take something so incredible for granted. It didn’t seem very likely.

They were alone, since the boy who was sleeping in the cabin seat was already a second year, and they had separated after reaching the village of Hogsmeade. He was a hufflepuff named Yixing, who talked rather slowly and had two cute, deep dimples in his face. Baekhyun remembered their conversation over a delicious cauldron cake from the trolley witch.

“Only the first years use the boats to arrive. It adds to the atmosphere, you see… The headmaster has a taste for the theatrical.” Yixing licked his fingers as he talked, his whole face smeared with frosting. Baekhyun was sure he wasn’t so different himself – the cake wasn’t like anything he’d tasted in his entire eleven years of living. It was deep, moist and fudgy in just the perfect amount, and sticky with sweet sugar coating. “But I’m definitely going to look out for the two of you when it’s time for the Sorting. I’ll be at the Hufflepuff table, and hopefully you’ll end up there too!”

“I’m hoping to go to Ravenclaw, but that could be kind of nice.” Kyungsoo said, his face being the one least smeared with cake, “It’s kind of a family tradition thing. I’ve always admired Hufflepuff ideals, though.”

“I really like it.” Yixing cleaned his fingers in his robes, trying to avoid the yellow and black striped scarf, “Our dormitories are always nice and sunny, even during winter. There’s all kinds of plants around and you just feel right at home. Some people make fun of us, but I don’t really care...”

“Well, those people are stupid.” Kyungsoo spoke in a decisive tone, earning a warm smile from the older boy.

Baekhyun recalled his readings yet again - ‘Where they are just and loyal, those patient Hufflepuffs are true and unafraid of toil’. He wasn’t sure if he fit in, being too restless and fickle himself, but maybe there was a side of him he was yet to find out. He wiggled in his seat, once again anxious to be sorted soon.

“WAIT FOR ME, PLEASE!!” Baekhyun got back to reality when a panting, high-pitched screech pierced through the treetops of the forest. He was so scared that he was sure his soul had come out of his body for a few moments and then returned - what if it was a ghost? Or something even worse, if that was even possible??

Yixing really was right about the atmosphere; in the deep dark night, with the boats moving on their own and a full moon up in the middle of the sky, the journey to the castle seemed positively terrifying. Baekhyun just hoped no real ghosts would appear, or he’d probably exhaust his vocal chords for this lifetime and the next.

A small kid hopped in the boat right before it left the shore; whatever was controlling the tide was probably waiting for him, and they were the last ones to leave. Baekhyun shivered once again at the thought of this unseen, omnipresent force.

“I’m sorry!! I know I’m late, but it’s not my fault, I swear! It was my cat-” The boy tried to talk ridiculously fast and wheeze for air at the same time, a combination that wasn’t really working to his advantage, “My cat escaped and there was no way I was leaving him behind, of course! His name is Snowflake-” He held up a cat white as snow, who seemed to be extremely disinterested in whatever they were doing, “he’s deaf and his hobby is running away, but I love him no matter what. I mean, there was this time I had to enter a super scary alley to go after him, and I was scratched from head to toe by the stray cats, it was so awful! I think all those people made him nervous, he’s used just to my family back home, and then there was this huge lake- Oh! By the way, my name is Jongdae. What about you guys?”

Baekhyun looked at his brand new grey owl, grateful that she didn’t seem to want to go anywhere. Running after your pet seemed like a lot of trouble. “I’m Baekhyun, nice to meet you.”

“I’m Kyungsoo.”

“Are you guys excited for the sorting? I can’t wait. They say some people make the hat stall for, like, 5 minutes! I’d probably have sweated so much that when he spoke I’d already be dehydrated. Doesn’t it sound awful?”

Somehow, with Jongdae’s constant blabbering, the atmosphere didn’t seem as eerie anymore. It was much more bearable now that Baekhyun had a distraction, and Jongdae was definitely fun to be with. He hoped they would be sorted in the same house, or at least be good friends.

This way time passed, and before he realized they were already disembarking at the dock under the castle. Baekhyun looked at the magnificent castle standing above him, his jaw dropped in awe. He was comforted to see that his new friends were in the same state; the castle was majestic for muggle-borns and wizard-borns alike.

And so they entered the castle, starting their journey in the magical world of Hogwarts.

Jongdae was the first one to be sorted. The Hat didn’t have to think too much; a few seconds passed before his voice boomed, loud and clear, across the Great Hall: GRYFFINDOR!

Wide-eyed and laughing, he made his way to the Gryffindor table, where people were cheering excitedly, and high-fived an older boy who held out his hand. Baekhyun remembered his readings, and his boat ride with the newest Gryffindor in Hogwarts. They hadn’t known each other for long, but he kind of expected this result. You might belong in Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart. - quite fitting for a boy with such a daring smile.

Next, after a few other people, was Kyungsoo, who stiffly walked towards the Sorting Hat. He was even faster than Jongdae; the Hat had barely touched his head before announcing: RAVENCLAW!

Baekhyun was proud of his friend for making it where he wanted to, even if it was kind of obvious. He hoped to be sorted there as well – Kyungsoo was very nice, and one of the few people he already knew in Hogwarts. As more people were called, Baekhyun’s nervousness grew, turning his hands clammier by the minute. He was starting to worry about dehydration before being dragged back to reality by the imposing voice of the Hat, who finally had gotten around to calling him.

He felt his legs shaking as he sat on the chair, the weight of the Sorting Hat light in his head. It seems like you are troubled, boy. Fret not – I take your opinion on account, as well. Though it seems you are confused as to where you want to go… I see many doubts in your mind. Things you might not be aware of yet, and things I’m sure you have already realized alone. I believe the path to knowing yourself better lies in one place, surely… SLYTHERIN!

Baekhyun snapped his eyes open, his face a mix of emotions. A muggleborn, in Slytherin? The student body seemed divided between shock and confusion; the silence was broken with a loud whistle from Yixing, who started to clap loudly. Other people followed, and Baekhyun smiled gratefully to the Hufflepuff boy.

That was probably the last house he expected to be sorted in, and now he was stuck there for the next 7 years. Did he really have Slytherin traits? He’d never considered himself cunning, or even very clever, but the hat doesn’t make mistakes. He tried to remember the things he’d read. Hogwarts: A History had never failed him before.

Or perhaps in Slytherin you'll make your real friends, those cunning folk use any means to achieve their ends.

Ok, not the best. But it wasn’t the end of the world. Baekhyun looked at the Ravenclaw table, where Kyungsoo sat beaming, an older housemate already hugging his small frame. His gaze was encouraging, as if saying Go. There’s nothing to be afraid of.

And, as he recalled their talk in the train, Baekhyun realized there really wasn’t. At that moment, he decided not to judge before experiencing things for himself – the first lesson he learned at Hogwarts, and one he would remember his whole life.

He walked to the Slytherin table, where his housemates now cheered loudly. Baekhyun noticed a few smirks, as well as many genuine smiles, and it wasn’t long before his palms were hurting from excessive high-fiving. As he finally found a seat, his head buzzing with excitement, Baekhyun felt a pair of eyes on him. He looked around, finding the source of the insistent gaze on a small boy - probably a first year as well – who sat a little further in the Slytherin table. He had jet black hair and ears that seemed to point outwards, slightly elf-like, and looked away immediately when Baekhyun’s eyes fell on him.

He wondered if they’d become friends. He hoped so – Baekhyun didn’t know a single soul in this house, but his housemates had been welcoming enough that he felt like he just might belong there.

After a majestic feast, from which Baekhyun left with a whirlwind of new names and faces and a stomach so full that he thought he might never be able to eat again – though it wasn’t likely-, it was time to head to their chambers. The big group walked down a series of stairs that seemed to go on forever before they reached a big, damp stone wall; a third year told Baekhyun their dormitories were located under the Black Lake, and because of that the lighting was green. The posh-looking furniture and the beautiful orbs of green light that levitated on the ceiling were certainly impressive to Baekhyun, who looked at the huge house crest in the wall before shuddering lightly. He’d have to learn to like snakes.

His room was just fine, though – six beds placed side by side on a rather big area, with a window by their side. Looking at the fishes swimming outside, Baekhyun found the atmosphere rather cozy. He even had a small space in the wall where he could put up the few posters he’d brought, and the sheets were really soft.

He spotted the elf-eared boy who had been glaring at him during dinner on the other side of the room, lying on the bed farthest from his and chatting enthusiastically with another boy. Baekhyun wondered if he’d done something wrong that he wasn’t aware of.

It’ll eventually feel like home, he thought, before sinking into a deep sleep.

Baekhyun ran towards what he hoped would be the hallway that led to his History of Magic class, which had started 10 minutes ago, but he could never be really sure. The Hogwarts castle was filled with tricky doorways and secret passages - plus, the staircases that changed position multiple times were of no help at all. He had been a student now for a little over a month, and been late to class so many times that he’d stopped counting. Baekhyun just hoped to understand the castle’s geography soon, or his report card would be a disaster.

Fortunately, he had managed to enter the right hallway, finding his classroom and scampering to his seat in a hurry. Baekhyun gave a small wave to Kyungsoo, who sat on the other side of the room and was already taking notes furiously, but managed a head nod and a soft smile in return. Though he sat far away, with the other Ravenclaw folk, it was comforting to know there was a friend in the class with you. His housemates from Slytherin were cool, but he had yet to click with someone like he did with Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun opened his book and took out his quill, listening to a grand total of five seconds of Professor Binn’s lecture before his attention flickered. He found a tall boy with big ears sitting a few rows to the front, focused on what seemed to be a very elaborate set of doodles. Apparently, Baekhyun wasn’t the only one not paying any attention to class.

He had discovered tall boy’s name from roll call – Park Chanyeol, a first year Slytherin just like him. Who tended to glare at Baekhyun when he thought the other wasn’t looking, and avert his gaze when it was found out. The staring seemed a little hostile, but he wasn’t sure why that would be the case. Baekhyun was still trying to understand what he’d done to offend the boy, since he wouldn’t so much as greet him good morning. He felt a little uncomfortable about it, but usually brushed it off quickly.

When class ended, Kyungsoo found him first.

“I’d saved you a seat, but then so many people arrived, and you were late… I felt rude for holding the spot.” He bowed slightly, apologizing. “Sorry.”

“Don’t sweat it.” Kyungsoo was way too nice for his own good. “I’ll learn those moving stairways patterns and then I’ll never be late to class again. And we’ll finally be able to sit together.”

“That would be nice.” Kyungsoo smiled brightly, as they made their wall to the Great Hall, where lunch would soon be served. “By the way, who was that guy you were ogling during, like, half the lecture?”

“It was that obvious?” Baekhyun felt himself blush; he hoped, at least, that no one else had noticed his intense staring to the back of Chanyeol’s head. “He’s also a Slytherin, but I think he kind of hates me. He stares all the time, but he won’t talk to me. I think I might have done something wrong.”

“You should ask him. It’s better to get these things out of the way soon.” Kyungsoo said, looking ahead thoughtfully, “Maybe it’s not even what you think, you know. He might just be shy.”

“Well, maybe. But he could at least smile.”

Before they realized, they had reached the Great Hall, and it was time to part ways. Baekhyun didn’t know who had invented the stupid rule that they were supposed to eat in a table along with other people from their house, but he found it incredibly dumb. He was tired of making small talk over pork gravy, even if it was the best thing he’d ever tasted in his life.

Seeing that Chanyeol was already seated and the place next to him was empty, he decided to take Kyungsoo’s advice and go for it. In the worst case scenario, Chanyeol would hate him – which Baekhyun was pretty sure he already did.

“Hey.” Chanyeol startled in his seat, giving Baekhyun a wide-eyed nod, since his mouth was filled with pie. Judging from his plate, he either was a very fast eater (since they had just left the same classroom), or he liked to eat dessert first. Baekhyun took a bet on the second option. “We are both first years, but we haven’t really met each other properly yet, right? I’m Baekhyun. What’s your name?” Though he knew very well who Chanyeol was, he felt asking was the polite thing to do.

“I’m Chanyeol.” He answered after swallowing, a suspicious look on his face.

Seeing as Chanyeol didn’t make any attempts to continue the conversation, Baekhyun decided to do it himself. He was never one to back down without a fight.

“So… Are you enjoying classes?”

Chanyeol winced visibly. “Yeah. They’re harder than I expected, though.”

“Well, I think doodling the whole time doesn’t exactly help.” Baekhyun blurted out, before realizing not only was that rude, but he had just given away that he watched Chanyeol during class.

“How do you know that I doodle?” The wide-eyed look was back, more troubled this time. “Are you a stalker or something?”

“Of course not!” Baekhyun could feel the tip of his ears turning red in embarrassment. He hated that his body reacted so obviously to whatever he was feeling – it felt like a walking moodboard. “It’s just… I payed attention because I noticed that you stare at me a lot, but you never say anything. And I keep asking myself if I did something wrong, but I guess it’s more efficient to ask you.”

“I don’t stare.” So it seemed that this was the only thing Chanyeol had gotten from his answer. Great.

“You do. A lot. Have I done something bad to you? If so, I really want to apologize.”

“No, you didn’t.” As Baekhyun thought, a direct approach was way more effective. “I’m sorry for staring. I do that sometimes. I thought I was being more discrete.”

“Like a ninja.”

“Yeah.” Chanyeol chuckled, looking a lot more comfortable, “Like a ninja.”

“So, can we be friends then?”

Chanyeol’s mouth formed a small “oh”, a sign that he wasn’t expecting the proposal. When he smiled, it finally showed his teeth. “Sure!”

“Great. Pass me the blueberry pie.” He took a slice – how did the cooks at Hogwarts manage to make all food the most delicious things he’d ever eaten? Even raisin cookies were tasty, for God’s sake. “Now, listen. If you want to doodle like a pro, I’ll be so kind as to teach you my ways. Fret not, for Master Byun is here for the rescue.”

And so their friendship finally began.

These days, time seemed to pass in a blur. Between going to classes – which Baekhyun had managed to do without getting lost most of the time now--, learning how to fly a broom and trying not to get behind on their massive load of schoolwork, Baekhyun didn’t even notice time flying by. He had gotten used to spending most of his time with Kyungsoo in the library, practicing flying with Jongdae or hanging out with Chanyeol in the common room, who he had gotten really close with.

Soon, his first year in Hogwarts would be over, and he’d have to go back to the muggle world. He didn’t think he could pretend to be excited over football when he’d seen a Quidditch match up close. And now that he had learned his fair share of spells, it felt unfair that he wouldn’t be able to use them for the next couple of months.

But before that, it was time for their exams.

“You’ll see.” Chanyeol said with a smug smile in his face, “I’ll get the best grades from our class. Your charms are fine, but I’ll totally beat you at it.”

“You sound awfully confident for someone who doesn’t even grace the library with his presence more than once a month.” Baekhyun snickered, writing down the spell list. Chanyeol was extremely competitive in any kind of situation – he just didn’t seem to own up to what he said half of the time.

“Well, I don’t need to go there more than once a month. I’m too smart for that.” He practiced the movements of his wand in a repetitive motion – their Charms final exam was the next day. “Plus, I like to study late at night. Less people around, and sometimes I can’t really sleep.”

“Yeah, let’s see how that works out for you.”

“Hey. I’ll try to get one of those cell phone thingies you told me about so we can talk over summer. But don’t forget you promised to write! Letters don’t feel the same as… texting?” Baekhyun nodded, and Chanyeol flashed the brightest smile for getting it right. The boy was really bad with muggle culture, making Baekhyun wonder sometimes how restricted his household really was. He had never really gotten the nerve to ask, though.

They entered the Hogwarts Express together; their trunks were packed and they were both ready to go back home. “Also, next year I’m going to totally kick your ass in Charms.”

“Sure. Can’t wait.” Baekhyun smiled, entering the cabin with Chanyeol, where Kyungsoo and Jongdae were already playing a game of Exploding Snap. He couldn’t wait to introduce them to his parents – they were going to love his friend with polite manners and big eyes, the tall bean with a tendency to knock things over, and the one who was overly loud and passionate. It had been a great first year, he realized. And he couldn’t wait to come back.

Year 2

The last thing Baekhyun had expected, upon entering his second year at Hogwarts, was to become a full-time babysitter. Hell, he didn’t even get a salary. Ever since the first-years had been sorted, a small Chinese kid – Zitao – had attached himself to Baekhyun, claiming that he made the huge castle seem a lot safer and less scary. Plus, he tended to cry when Baekhyun detached himself for extended periods of time, and sometimes at night for no reason whatsoever. Baekhyun’s heart was way too soft to handle this situation – there was no way he could just tell the kid to leave him alone, but living with an extra person glued to your right leg at all times was inconvenient, to say the least.

So far, it had been two months and counting, and the situation didn’t seem like it was going to change anytime soon. The only moments of rest he got was during classes, which Zitao went to alone and trembling, or when he decided to latch himself to Chanyeol’s bony leg instead. Baekhyun was slightly annoyed at how much Chanyeol had grown during the summer. He had already been taller to begin with, but now the difference had increased significantly. Baekhyun was not pleased by this turn of events.

Kyungsoo, on the other hand, was as small as ever. He didn’t seem to mind Zitao’s constant presence at their study sessions, as long as the kid wasn’t too noisy and didn’t interrupt him. Baekhyun could swear he caught him looking fondly at the younger one, but Kyungsoo said it was his imagination.

“I don’t know what to do anymore.” He complained when Tao had gone to the bathroom – luckily, he was able to do that by himself now. “I really like him, of course, but he needs to learn some independence. He’s way too attached to his home, you know? He doesn’t cry every day anymore, but it’s still pretty frequent.”

“I don’t know how to help you, Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo scratched the back of his head with his quill, “I have never been good with kids. Not even when I was one. My parents always said that I was born 80 years old.”

“That does sound like you.” He chuckled, “I guess I’ll think it over a while longer. I’ll ask Chanyeol, too. Zitao has really taken a liking to him these days.”

“That’s good, but be careful. It’s hard to stop his crying once it’s started.” Kyungsoo shuddered in his seat, and Baekhyun decided not to ask. Smiling to himself, he turned back to his Potions homework.

Baekhyun found Chanyeol sprawled on top of a huge sofa in the Slytherin common room – Zitao had gone to Charms class – reading what seemed to be a considerably large volume on Transfiguration. The boy had really been trying hard these days. Baekhyun wondered whether he was fueled by curiosity or simply competitive spirit.

“Hey.” Baekhyun bent over to grab the cushions on the floor, which Chanyeol seemed to find a way to throw there every single time. “Studying?”

“Hey, Baek. Yeah, kinda.” Chanyeol sat up, closing his book and motioning for Baekhyun to sit down next to him. He glanced briefly at the cover: A Beginners’ Guide to Transfiguration. He’d been right. “I’m killing time while I wait for the Quidditch match to start.”

Oh, right. Quidditch. Baekhyun had never been an athletic kid, to say the least, so it had never really caught his attention. He liked seeing the matches, though; everything happened so fast, and the players were so skilled, it felt like watching an elaborate dance unfold itself right before his eyes. Chanyeol, on the other hand, was set on joining the Slytherin team as soon as possible. Though he hadn’t made it this year, probably due to his lack of experience, Baekhyun was sure he’d get in sooner rather than later. He’d seen Chanyeol on a broom – he was fearless.

“Who’s playing this time? Maybe I’ll join you.”

“This is a super exciting match.” Chanyeol’s eyes were positively sparkling, and he moved his hands enthusiastically, “It’s Ravenclaw versus Gryffindor, but that’s not why. There are two new seekers to both teams, they’re called Minseok and Luhan, and apparently they’re both insanely good. They’ve caught the Golden Snitch on every single match this year, and it’s the first time they’re playing against each other. It’s going to be amazing.”

“Oh, I’ve heard about them.” The pair of third-years had been the talk of the school lately. Baekhyun had already heard of copious amounts of chocolate frogs, pumpkin pies and cauldron cakes being bet over the winner of the Cup that year. “Luhan is very popular with the girls, as well. And some boys.”

“Well, then we better sit on Ravenclaw’s side of the field.” Chanyeol winced, “I don’t want a horde of screeching girls next to me during the game.”

“Sounds good.” Baekhyun chuckled. “Oh, by the way, I really need to talk to you. It’s about Zitao.”

“No need to worry about that.” Chanyeol got up from their seat, smug smile in his face, “I’ve solved all our problems.”

Baekhyun was left positively puzzled, before running to join Chanyeol on his way to the Quidditch field.

The following week, the lack of Zitao’s constant presence left Baekhyun feeling oddly rejected. Chanyeol’s – whatever it was that he had done – worked, much better than he’d expected. And Baekhyun realized just how much he’d gotten used to the crybaby by his side at all times.

“Ouch!” Chanyeol rubbed his arm, glaring at Baekhyun but resembling more a hurt puppy, “Why did you punch me?”

“Because you deserved it.” Baekhyun continued to sulk, attempting to crush his lionfish spine powder perfectly so their potion wouldn’t blow up in their faces.

“I never thought you would be the one to suffer from abstinence.” Chanyeol was supposed to measure the Horklump juice, but he always ended up spilling more on the table than on the measuring cup. Baekhyun just hoped this herbicide potion would be enough to get them a passing grade. “You did ask me to help with Zitao, after all. If you were going to sulk around for a whole week, you could have just told me.”

“Shut up and concentrate. You’re making a mess.”

After the class was done and they were released to the freedom of the hallways, Baekhyun noticed an odd sound. It was simultaneously very familiar and something new. When he and Chanyeol turned a corner in the hallway, Baekhyun understood where the sound was coming from – Zitao was laughing. Not only a small chuckle or a polite giggle, but a full-out howl of a laugh.

Baekhyun had never managed to extract one of those from the younger boy; he was always much too sad or homesick to engage in his jokes. When he approached, Zitao was still holding his sides, gasping for breath.

“Hey, Tao. I haven’t seen you much this week.”

“Baek! Hi! Yeol! It’s so good to see you!” Oblivious to Baekhyun’s jealousy, Zitao continued to talk excitedly, a cheerful glow to his face, “Baek, these are Sehun and Jongin.” He motioned to the boys next to him, who nodded politely, “Sehun is a Hufflepuff, and Jongin is a Gryffindor. Yeol introduced me to them last week, and we’re friends now! It’s so much better to have classes with people you know. I don’t feel like running away all the time anymore! Isn’t it great?”

“Yeah, that’s really awesome, Tao.” Though Baekhyun was taken aback by the sudden report, he was sincere. “I’m glad you’re happy.”

“I really am!” He linked arms with Sehun and Jongin, one friend at each side. “Now we’re going to drop Sehun at his Flying lessons, and I’m going to History of Magic class with Jongin. See you around, guys!”

They left together, the other two boys waving goodbye with their spare hands before the trio engaged on another intense conversation. Baekhyun was sure he was nowhere near as energetic when he was a first year.

“Huh. So it turned out he only needed some friends his age.” He looked at Chanyeol, who had stayed quiet during the whole exchange, “How on earth did you figure that out?”

“Well, I’ve been lonely before.” He shrugged, “Usually people help. Jongdae mentioned he’d met this nice underclassman, and I figured it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try.”

“That’s really considerate of you.” He felt foolish for not noticing.

“I’m nothing if not nice, Baek. Now, let’s get our asses to the Great Hall before they run out of butterscotch pie.”

Time passed by quickly, and their second year was over as quickly as the first one. Baekhyun sat in the train compartment with Kyungsoo, Jongdae and Chanyeol, as he hoped would become their tradition to do so. They were currently talking about their plans for the summer and eating a huge pile of pumpkin pastries that Chanyeol had won in his bets over the Quidditch Cup; Ravenclaw had won, after all, and Baekhyun could detect a smug smile in Kyungsoo’s pumpkin-stained face if he looked close.

Munching quietly, Baekhyun reflected about the year. He had made new friends, and strengthened his bond with the old ones. He’d learned to turn beetles into buttons, the lumos charm - which was very useful for reading on late hours of the night-, and how to take care of Mandrakes. Besides, he hardly ever fell from this broom these days, thanks to Chanyeol’s help and a few private flying lessons. He was happy, and his insides felt as warm as the pastry he was eating.

Year 3

“Ouch!” Chanyeol let out a high-pitched yelp, making everyone look his way as they exited Honeydukes, “I think I burned my tongue.”

Jongdae laughed out loud, asking -- How does anyone manage to burn their tongue with sweets--, while Kyungsoo gave Chanyeol a comforting pat on the shoulder. Meanwhile, all Baekhyun could do was look at the snow.

Of course, having lived in England his whole life, he had seen snow before, played with it, rolled around during endless winter breaks. But it was never like this.

Nothing could have prepared Baekhyun for Hogsmeade.

It was a small village made out of children’s dreams and Christmas miracles. Every time a parent described Santa Claus and the red nosed reindeer, the factory with hard working elves, a magic sleigh that crossed the night between a thousand stars – that’s what Hogsmeade felt like.

The place was decorated entirely with Christmas ornaments, small shiny lights and huge pine trees framing the houses with small, gable roofs and brick walls. Because it was a magic village, Baekhyun suspected that the locals used their wands in order to achieve perpetually shiny lights and extra glossy sweet canes, but it was just a hunch. Either way, it was a scenery straight out of a fairy tale – and now, he was lucky enough to be walking down the main street with his friends, eating too-sweet candy and being loud for no reason.

“Hey, look! Is that Yixing?” Jongdae inquired through a mouth full of shimmering coconut ice.

“Yeah, I think so.” Kyungsoo said, “And I’ve seen that guy having dinner with him before, but I don’t know his name.”

As Yixing and his friend made their way toward Baekhyun’s gang, he noticed just how tall the guy was. Even taller than Chanyeol, which he didn’t even think was possible. He had long brown hair, which was pulled back in a low ponytail, and the both of them wore matching Hufflepuff scarves.

“Hey, everyone!” Yixing smiled, dimple in place as always, “It’s your first time in Hogsmeade, right? Do you like it?”

“Very much! It’s delicious!” Chanyeol answered excitedly, pink locks bouncing in his head. The boy had transfigurated his hair –successfully, to Baekhyun’s surprise, - in the Slytherin bathroom, after doing a little research of his own in the library.

“Are you sure you’re going to do this?” Baekhyun asked, doubtful.

“Yeah. I’ve always wanted bright colored hair.” Chanyeol shrugged, “And if I do it correctly, it won’t even be damaged.”

“But why didn’t you do it at home? I’m sure your parents are a lot better at transfiguration than we are.” He was afraid they’d mess up and Chanyeol would turn his head into a frog’s – or worse. With magic, you never know what might happen.

“Well,” Chanyeol’s face turned dark, his smile crooked in all the wrong ways, “for starters, I’m pretty sure my father would desert me. And I’m not really close with anyone in my family, so there’s no one I could ask. It’s better if I do it here and turn it back to black when it’s time to go home.”

“Oh.” Baekhyun didn’t know anything about Chanyeol’s family. That was a subject he deliberately avoided, as if there was nothing much to say. Which, of course, only meant that it was too much for him to be able to share just yet. Baekhyun was patient, never wanting his friend to feel uncomfortable or like he was obligated to say anything. And now that he was handed this story so easily, he felt oddly undeserving. “I didn’t know that.”

“Of course, I didn’t tell you. Now you know.”

Chanyeol looked intensely at the bathroom mirror, preparing himself for what was probably the most complex spell he’d ever attempted to do.

“Bubblegum, cotton candy,

A Valentine's wink,

Turn this plain hair

Into a cute shade of pink! “

A thousand-watt smile almost split Chanyeol’s face in half as a his strands slowly turned bright pink, the color starting from the roots and making its way to the ends of the hair. “I did it! Baek, you better be careful, because I’m going to kick your ass at this year’s Transfiguration exams.”

“Sure you are.” It was almost a tradition for them now – Chanyeol threatened to get better grades than Baekhyun, and he just went with it to see the cute defiant smile on his face. He had yet to turn his intimidation into reality, though. “You look like you just lost a fight with a human-sized packet of tutti-frutti bubblegum.”

“You don’t like it?” His face fell, bearing a strong resemblance to a lost puppy. “Should I dye it back?”

“No, I think it suits you perfectly.”

When Baekhyun managed to gather his thoughts enough to return to reality, Yixing was in the middle of introducing his tall-and-menacing-but-also-smiling-cutely friend.

“This is Kris. We’re in the same year, and he really likes hot chocolate.” Apparently, that was all. Yixing’s brain worked in mysterious ways – Baekhyun would never understand how he filtered through what information was important and what was disposable. He still remembered when they had needed to search for the Hufflepuff’s wand all around the castle during spring of his second year.

“Nice to meet you all.” He elbowed Yixing playfully, “You could have mentioned that I kick major ass in Defense Against the Dark Arts or something cool like that.”

He was handsome. It was less Baekhyun’s opinion and more of a fact. Kris had the kind of face that made people look twice and girls giggle when they pass. It was more than obvious from how the other students enjoying their holiday in Hogsmeade looked at him.

Baekhyun didn’t miss the dreamy look in Chanyeol’s face, nor how red his ears were. He doubted that was from the cold.

“He does, in fact, kick major ass. But I’m still way better in Care of Magical Creatures.”

“I’ll never understand how he does it.” Kris said dramatically, “It’s like the animals are drawn to him! Even the ferocious beasts turn calm and let him pet them. Hagrid says it’s a gift.”

“I just like being around the animals.” Yixing explained, shrugging, “Sometimes I feel like they understand me better than humans.”

“I know what you mean,” Chanyeol said, “no one gets me like Toben, my dog...”

“Guys, the conversation is really good, but do you want to go inside somewhere warmer? It’s freezing out here.” Kyungsoo was positively shivering, his small frame cold despite layers and layers of fabric enveloping him. Baekhyun couldn’t say he was much better – no matter how dream-like Hogsmeade was, when the wind blew it cut like a knife.

“Sure! Let’s go to Three Broomsticks!” Kris suggested, his face worried as he looked at Kyungsoo, “I’ll buy a round of butterbeer for everyone. You’re Yixing’s friends, which means that soon we’ll all be friends too.”

As they made their way to the inn, Yixing walked to Baekhyun’s side, slipping his arm around the younger’s. It was nice, and the warmth was certainly welcome.

“He’s usually like that.” He whispered in Baekhyun’s ear, “He pretends to be all tough and cool, but he can’t help but be nice. I think you’ll get along well.”

He hoped so. As Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol’s bright expression while chatting with the older one, he couldn’t shake the feeling that Kris was going to mean a lot of trouble in the future.

“Are you sure this is going to be fine?” Baekhyun asked, still uncomfortable in his seat on the Ravenclaw bleachers.

“Sure, don’t sweat it.” Junmyeon answered, “No one is going to notice if you don’t cheer too loudly for Slytherin. Plus, it’s not that uncommon for friends from different houses to sit together.”

“That’s true, but they’re usually not playing against each other…”

Baekhyun looked around – sure enough, no one was giving him weird looks, and he could even see a few yellow or red colored scarves in the Ravenclaw side. He could bet he was the only green one, though.

It was a Ravenclaw versus Slytherin Quidditch match, but he had chosen to take a seat in the Ravenclaw bleachers with Kyungsoo and Junmyeon – an upperclassman who was really nice, even if he had a tendency towards making lame dad jokes. Though Baekhyun was comfortable enough with his classmates, he considered Kyungsoo his friend above all of them, so sitting next to him was likely to make the game a lot more enjoyable. Zitao had gone off somewhere with Sehun and Kai, and Chanyeol obviously couldn’t sit with him, since he’d be playing.

Chanyeol had finally made the team as a seeker. He had initially been worried sick about playing in official matches, but now it was just second nature to him. The boy had an amazing instinct when it came to sports, and it definitely showed on the field. Baekhyun realized how popular he was becoming by the amount of times they were stopped in the hallways by random people these days. It wasn’t bothersome, exactly – just weird. Different.

Still, Baekhyun couldn’t be prouder. It obviously meant a lot to Chanyeol to be able to show his talent on the field, and there was a reason for that – he was amazing. This match was going to be an especially difficult one, since they’d have to deal with Ravenclaw’s ace seeker Minseok. Chanyeol had been worried all week, forgetting to do his homework and looking dazed at the horizon while Baekhyun was telling him about Jongdae’s latest prank in the Gryffindor dormitory.

“Hey, stupid.” Baekhyun hit his friend with a pillow, bringing him back to this plane of existence. “You’re not listening. Are you still worried about the match this weekend?”

“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it. I just have to stall and let the Chasers score as many points as possible.” Chanyeol said in a low voice, his eyes filled with worry, “So even if Minseok catches the Golden Snitch, we won’t be so far behind.”

“Don’t put so much pressure on yourself.” He pretended to punch Chanyeol’s arm, not putting any real strength in the gesture, “Do your best, and I’m sure the rest of your teammates will too. You don’t play alone – there are six other people on your side on that field.”

“How come you always know just the right thing to say, Baek?” He chuckled, flashing Baekhyun with a smile that made his heart go to the center of the Earth and back in a span of nanoseconds. Lately, it had taken a liking to doing that.

Even if he couldn’t cheer at the full capacity of his lungs – he’d probably get kicked out of the Ravenclaw bleachers for doing that -, Baekhyun was still determined to send the very best of his energy to Chanyeol on that huge field. He was so far away, and the figures moved ridiculously fast. Luckily, the pink hair was easy to spot.

Kyungsoo and Junmyeon were cheering for Ravenclaw, obviously, but neither was too much of a Quidditch fanatic, so they kept an easygoing talk throughout the game. Baekhyun learned a lot about Minseok – apparently, he and Junmyeon were on the same year, and he was a major clean freak. Besides that, he drank way more coffee than what would be considered healthy (Baekhyun would never understand how people did that willingly) and tended to spend nights awake with Kyungsoo, who had the same bad habit. Though he had a cute face, he was rather manly, and had a growing fanbase of blushing girls – but he liked boys.

“Oh, really?” Baekhyun almost choked in the popcorn he was eating, the shock evident in his face.

“Yeah. It’s not a big deal, though?” Junmyeon answered, “People like whoever they like.”

“Does it even matter- you know, boys or girls?” Kyungsoo said, “We’re all people, anyway.”

“I guess that’s true.” He swallowed loudly, still coughing from the popcorn. His heart was oddly racing, which he thought was probably from the lack of air.

In the end, Minseok really did catch the Snitch, giving Ravenclaw the victory. But Chanyeol didn’t look too troubled, smiling easily with his teammates and talking with everyone later in the Slytherin common room. Baekhyun, on the other hand, had a different state of mind. The afternoon talk with Junmyeon had left his head spinning and his heart racing, anxious with recognition.

He was scared. Petrified, really. Of being rejected by everyone he loved. Of never finding love himself. Of having something inside him inherently wrong and being unable to fix it, no matter how hard he tried. The things he pretended not to notice were getting too much for him to hide. He was only thirteen, for God’s sake. How come his head was such a mess already?

But Junmyeon and Kyungsoo had given him hope. Their conversation was short, and they had changed the subject shortly after, but it was enough to give Baekhyun courage. He went straight to his room, as the need to understand things about himself that he had deliberately chosen to ignore was getting bigger with every passing week. He felt brave enough to stop being afraid, even if just for tonight.

Year 4

Baekhyun made a face of complete disgust as Kyungsoo sipped from his mug. They had been studying together, but were now taking a quick break to eat up and recharge. While Baekhyun inhaled a humongous piece of blueberry pie, Kyungsoo decided to stick to black coffee and buttered toast.

“I don’t get why you choose to drink that brown sludge when you could just use a spell to stay awake, like everyone else.” Baekhyun never understood Kyungsoo’s fixation with coffee. It tasted like someone had just died in a mug – he could manage to swallow if there was a lot of sugar in it, but it was only in life or death situations. Like Potions final exams.

“There’s nothing quite like coffee, even in Hogwarts.” Kyungsoo sipped from his cup, already used to the overreaction from his friend, “Plus, it tastes just like I feel.”

“Horrible?”

“Close. Bitter.”

“And why is that, again?” Kyungsoo had always been moody, but Baekhyun wondered if there was a reason in particular for his scowling these past few days.

“Not that I care about that kind of crap,” he finished the toast, getting up to leave the Great Hall, “but the Yule Ball is in two weeks and I don’t have a date. Come on, let’s get back to the library.”

So that was the thing that had been souring Kyungsoo’s mood lately. Baekhyun had thought that his friend was way too lost in his own world to worry about such things, but he was human too, after all. Even if he liked to spend more time with books than with people.

It was undeniable that the Triwizard Tournament had shaken things up in Hogwarts. Not only were the hallways filled with unknown, foreign and interesting boys and girls, the tasks completed by the competing contestants were incredibly hard. Hogwarts’ representative was some girl from the 7th year that Baekhyun had never heard of prior to the tournament, so it didn’t interest him that much.

But the same couldn’t be said about the Ball.

Everyone’s nerves were flourishing as the day of the dance approached. Some people gathered the courage to ask their crush, and others hoped to be asked by a certain someone. As more and more people had their dates set, Baekhyun couldn’t help but start to sweat himself.

Of course he had someone he wanted to ask. The thought had been drifting through his mind ever since he’d first heard of the dance. But it was not like Baekhyun was suddenly going to find the guts to confess to his tall string of a friend. Just thinking about it, he could easily picture Chanyeol, his figure familiar and comfortable - ears too big and a smile way too bright.

Baekhyun didn’t wake up one day and realized he liked Chanyeol. Instead, it had happened in such a delicate progression that he didn’t even notice while it was forming. It was as natural as the hair that sprouted from his head and the nails that grew in his toes; it had become a part of him, before he had given a second thought to his desire. In a weird way, he didn’t even feel different. Weren’t people supposed to change when they fell in love for the first time? He felt the same, only a little more aware of the giant’s presence now and then.

He didn’t tell anyone, though. It felt weird keeping this part of him from his friends, but he didn’t feel ready to share. Not yet, at least. Baekhyun was way too scared of breaking things that couldn’t be put back together later on. There were some cracks that even magic couldn’t solve.

“Do you want to make a deal?” Baekhyun suggested, “Like, if on the day of the Ball we’re both alone, we can go together.”

He felt Kyungsoo’s eyes on him. His friend had the bad habit of staring when he was considering things, and even though he was used to it, Baekhyun couldn’t help but be nervous.

“Sure. That seems fine.” He shrugged, “I still hope someone asks me, though.”

As they entered the library, Baekhyun noticed the strangest thing happening. It had been like that for the past years he’d been in Hogwarts, but this time it was different. Something had intensified. The shelves seemed to make way for the two of them, creating a straight path to a hidden crook on a higher floor of the room. It was a forgotten place – a simple desk with a light and shelves of books surrounding the area, which never seemed to be occupied by anyone else.

Baekhyun had tried to find this place before, alone, but had failed miserably. And every time he studied there with Kyungsoo, the books they needed seemed to pop at the shelf right next to them, as if it had read their minds. He had a theory: Hogwarts was a magic place, and so was its library. It was likely to have a will of its own. And even though he had always known that Kyungsoo loved the library deeply, Baekhyun had never expected it to love him back.

“Why don’t you ask someone, then?” He asked Kyungsoo, as they sat in their usual table and a roll of parchment magically made its way to his friend, “If you want a date so bad.”

“I have a few reasons.” Of course. Trust Kyungsoo to think rationally about something as emotional as feelings. “First, I am too shy to approach people I’m not familiar with. And besides, I don’t have anyone I like particularly. So I thought I’d leave it to chance, and if someone had an interest in me, I’d be available. That’s your reason too, isn’t it? It’s what I had assumed.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Baekhyun laughed awkwardly, glad that Kyungsoo had already given him an easy way out. He had never been good at coming up with excuses on the spot. “It’s the same.”

Soon, he’d open up to Kyungsoo. But not just yet.

As he arrived in the Slytherin chambers later that day, Baekhyun plopped down on his bed, welcoming the softness of the pillow against his cheek. Of course, peace never lasted too long when your roommate was Park Chanyeol. Unless he was absorbed in a game or trying to finish accumulated homework, Chanyeol always found a random affair to discuss with Baekhyun. Not that he minded, really.

Though in their first year their beds were far apart, after the two of them became friends Chanyeol had exchanged places with a random kid and taken possession of the bed next to Baekhyun’s. They had slept side by side for the past three years – and not really slept as well, if you counted the nights they had spent cramming for an exam or playing Chanyeol’s latest gaming obsession.

Of course, there were nights they spent talking, as well. Those were Baekhyun’s favorites. He liked the raw and honest Chanyeol that barely anyone got to see. Being able to interact with that side of him made Baekhyun feel special, somehow.

“Did you hear??” A deep voice came from Baekhyun’s left side; when did Chanyeol’s voice get so low, again? The universe was ridiculously unfair to Baekhyun, giving him a tall best friend with a deep ass voice. It did not make him look exactly great in contrast. “Apparently the biggest rivals of the Hogwarts Quidditch teams are now dating.”

“You’re kidding me.” Chanyeol was probably referring to Ravenclaw’s seeker, Minseok, and Gryffindor’s seeker, Luhan. The pair of fifth years had been Quidditch legends since their second year, and their rivalry was known throughout the castle. They both had the biggest fanclubs you’d find among the cheering crowd, and their bickering on the castle’s hallways had gathered bystanders more than once before. They were both much too talented, much too popular and much too handsome for their own good.

“No shit.” Chanyeol giggled, the sound strange but endearing in his low voice. The boy loved that kind of gossip. “Minseok and Luhan are totally together! Jongdae told me he saw them kissing each other goodbye in the hallway like it was the most normal thing in the world. Turns out all that obsession with each other was mostly sexual tension.”

“That’s honestly kind of amazing.” The Quidditch matches were going to reach a whole new level of excitement – Baekhyun couldn’t miss the next Ravenclaw versus Gryffindor. That aside, there was something else that had been eating him inside these days. On a brave whim, he decided to bring up the Yule Ball, trying his best to sound nonchalant. “They must be going to the Ball together, then. By the way, have you decided who you’re going to ask?”

“Um, not really.” Chanyeol turned oddly quiet. He fiddled with his game, changed the position of the pillows, put on a pair of socks. Meanwhile, Baekhyun waited. He had learned with time that this was the best way to get his friend to say something that had been on his mind. All he needed was time to gather the courage and silence to be able to say it. Eventually, that was exactly what happened.

“Hey, Baek. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Sure. What is it?”

“This whole Yule Ball business had me thinking a lot.” His gaze was strong and determined, making every single hair in Baekhyun’s arm stand right up. “You remember what I told you about my parents, right?”

Of course he did. After painting his hair pink in the previous year, Chanyeol had been a lot more open about his home life to Baekhyun. He’d learned that Chanyeol came from a noble wizard family, who had a tradition of bringing up famous aurors from Slytherin. His parents were very strict and extremely prejudiced against wizards of other houses, or people who didn’t have ‘pure’ blood. For a while, Chanyeol was like that as well, before he’d realized just how dumb this behavior was.

He’d told Baekhyun how the Sorting Hat insisted on putting him in Hufflepuff, but his 11-year-old self had begged him not to. It would only bring him suffering and rejection from his family, though maybe he’d have learned some things faster, he’d later admitted. And in their first year, after overhearing that Baekhyun came from a muggle family, he had chosen to keep his distance. Because he was ignorant, and because he was afraid. Chanyeol didn’t know what befriending people who had no magic blood in their family could bring to his life, but he knew his father would have absolutely nothing good to say about it. When he apologized for his actions, Baekhyun could only hug him tighter. What a confused, lonely boy he must’ve been.

“Of course I remember.” Their voices now were kept low, just a little above a whisper. Though they were the only ones in the room and should have been able to speak normally, the hushed tone made things feel more intimate.

“Well, there’s something else. There always is when we’re talking about my family, really. It’s like they never get tired of being awful.” Chanyeol glanced at Baekhyun, looked at the floor for a while, and continued to speak, his voice even smaller than before. “Kris asked me to be his date.”

“Oh.” Baekhyun was afraid he wouldn’t be able to hear Chanyeol with the roaring beating of his own heart. Which was the arm that turned numb when you were about to have a stroke? He definitely should have paid more attention to his middle school science classes. “And what did you tell him?”

“That I needed time to think about it.”

“But… Do you want him to be your date?” Baekhyun asked, a little afraid of the answer.

“I don’t know. I think I do. He’s very nice, and he always makes me laugh. Also, he never makes fun of me when I talk about my dogs like they are my kids.” Chanyeol said, the fond smile on his face disappearing right after, “But I’m scared, too. You know when I say that my parents hate people from other houses? Well, they also hate boys who date other boys. Or girls who date other girls. They loathe everything that strays from the traditional, pure-blooded wizarding family. And I’m not sure if I’m ready to face them head-on.”

So Chanyeol had grown up in a homophobic home. Suddenly, a lot of things made sense to Baekhyun. When they saw same-sex couples walking together in the hallways, doing nothing more than holding hands, and Chanyeol’s face became unreadable. He imagined the mess of emotions that went through his head. The confusion of going against everything he was taught was right, along with the longing for something he didn’t know if he was allowed to have. He wondered how Chanyeol had managed to bottle up so much without exploding.

“They don’t need to know you’re going to the Ball with another boy, Chanyeol.” It was far from a solution, but at least it would be a way to delay confrontation. Baekhyun wasn’t sure what else he could say.

“But people are going to see. And people talk. My family is too well-known; if the youngest son goes to the Yule Ball arm in arm with another guy, there’s no way this isn’t going to reach my father.” Chanyeol said, “Also, there’s something else. I know, rationally, that this is ok. This. Me and another boy. But so much hate was built inside me, Baek. I was taught to hurt, not to love. And I’m terrified that I’ll end up cutting Kris with my shards.”

“Yeol…” Baekhyun finally got up from his bed, sitting next to his friend and embracing him tightly. He could feel the figure by his side shaking, trying to control himself. “You are not your parents. You are so much more than you ever allow yourself to be, and it is so brave of you to even consider doing this.”

They were like that for a while, Chanyeol finally letting his tears fall and Baekhyun holding him close, running his hand through the tall boy’s hair. It could have been ten minutes or two hours, but neither one was paying attention.

“You know, I’m not sure if it helps in any way at all, but I like boys too.” Baekhyun said, when Chanyeol’s crying had stopped and the boy seemed to be more calm, “It feels like you gave such a big piece of you away tonight. I didn’t want to leave you with nothing. Though it does feel very little in comparison.”

“Of course it helps, Baekhyun. Now we don’t have to be alone.” Chanyeol straightened his spine, hugging Baekhyun now from above, “And stop talking like my experiences matter more than yours. It’s not a competition.”

“That’s true.”

“Though I’m totally going to get better grades than you this year.”

“Chanyeol!” Baekhyun hit the giant, though there was no heart in it. That was something he absolutely adored in Chanyeol. No matter how rough things were, how hard the path he was walking, the boy was always bright. He had yet to fail to put a smile on Baekhyun’s face. “This was supposed to be a serious, heartfelt moment! And you’re ruining it!”

“But I am serious! I’m studying extra hard this year! You’re going to have to watch your back, because I’m coming for that best student position!”

They laughed together, demons left behind for now. It was going to be alright.

Baekhyun had almost forgotten he was in the Hogwarts castle as they walked in the room where the Ball was taking place. Not only was it filled with people he barely recognized, wearing sparkly dresses and fancy dress robes, the place was decorated with a beautiful mix of blue and silver. Since the Ball was so close to Christmas, there were also pine trees everywhere, their branches heavy with the snow that had been falling heavily since winter had started.

“Wow, it looks so pretty.” Baekhyun looked at his side, where an enthusiastic Jongin watched the room in a daze, their arms locked together. He looked nice, with his hair slicked back and well-fitted burgundy robes. It wasn’t the most orthodox of clothing choices, but Baekhyun appreciated his boldness.

The truth was, in a couple years, Jongin would probably be the most handsome guy in the whole school. Now, while a little young, Baekhyun could already see the features in his sculpted face coming together to form a very attractive exterior. He was even taller than Baekhyun, even though he was younger – and Baekhyun was coming to terms with the fact that he probably wasn’t going to grow that much more at all.

Baekhyun recalled exactly how he’d ended up at the Ball with such a catch. Jongdae was probably going to charge him with a ‘matchmaking frog chocolate fee’ or something equally stupid soon.

“So I heard you’re still ridiculously single, even though the Ball is in a week.”

Trust Kim Jongdae to be as subtle as a brick in the head. He sat down next to Baekhyun, who had been writing an incredibly boring Potions paper in the library. Kyungsoo had classes and Chanyeol had practice, so he was alone – until now.

“Look who’s talking.” He snickered, “You can make fun of me when you get yourself a date.”

“As a matter of fact, I already have.” Jongdae’s smug smile was profoundly annoying. Baekhyun wanted to slap it right out of his face. “I asked this really cute 4th year from Ravenclaw, and she said yes. This boy is going to dance all night long.”

“Okay, now you can talk about how ridiculously single I am.” Baekhyun slammed his forehead in the table, filled with dismay to the last strand of hair in his head. Being the last one of your friends without a date sucked major ass. Chanyeol had finally decided to accept Kris’ invitation, and Kyungsoo had been asked – to his surprise - by a boy from Durmstrang. Though he didn’t admit it, he was really looking forward to the Ball – Baekhyun could see it in the way Kyungsoo smiled, wondering about the dress robes he was going to wear and whether he should bring a flower for his date. “After all, it’s true.”

“Well, you can start to kiss the ground my beautiful feet walk in, because I’m about to yank you out of that pitiful state.” Once again, Jongdae had that feline smile stamped in his face. Baekhyun would gladly have thrown his quill in the Gryffindor’s face if not for the glimmer of hope he was now holding onto.

“And how exactly do you intend to do that?” Baekhyun asked, “And please don’t say I should just ask anyone.”

Baekhyun knew that, after Chanyeol had found a date to the Ball, it would be useless for him to maintain hope. And yet, he still did. Just the littlest spark of faith. Asking someone else kind of felt like betraying that wish, somehow. Besides, he didn’t like anyone else that much, so it would be pointless.

“No, not just anyone.” Jongdae said, “But yeah, it would involve asking people to be your date.”

“Just spit it out already, would you?” Jongdae got ridiculously cocky when he was in possession of exclusive information, and Baekhyun’s patience was already wearing thin.

“You know Jongin, right?” Baekhyun nodded in agreement, so Jongdae would proceed, “Well, he has a huge crush on you. Big fat gets-all-blushy-and-stuttery-when-you-pass crush, on you of all people. And since students from the younger years can come as long as you invite them, I thought you two might go together.”

Baekhyun’s brain felt like it had just short-circuited. Someone else had a crush on him. A living, breathing person thought that he was nice to look at. Maybe even kiss. That kind of stuff happened to people he knew, or to his friends. Never to him.

He knew Jongin fairly well – being a friend of Zitao and Jongdae, he was usually around in study sessions, and they met frequently outside class. He was shy at first, but a very sweet boy when you got to know him. He had a tendency to fall asleep in random places, which was adorable, and he had been chosen to the Gryffindor Quidditch team this year, as a Chaser.

But Baekhyun had never thought about Jongin – really thought about him. What it would be like to go on a date with him. How it would feel to hold his hand.

Perhaps it would be nice, he thought.

“Did he tell you to ask me?”

“Of course not!” Jongdae whined, “He doesn’t even know I’m telling you. Nini is way too shy for that. Besides, he thinks he doesn’t have a chance, which I said was ridiculous, since you’re basically an oversized puppy.”

After a moment of further considering the matter, Baekhyun had decided. “I’ll talk to him.”

And now, here they were. Baekhyun still couldn’t quite wrap his head around the whole situation. In a way, it felt like it was happening to someone else – another Baekhyun who was nicer, more handsome and who didn’t hide his feelings for his best friend.

“Not as pretty as you.” He chuckled as Jongin blushed profusely, his beautiful bronze skin acquiring a red hue. The boy punched him lightly in the arm, in a weak attempt to protest against Baekhyun’s compliment.

Sure, Baekhyun was in love with someone else. But that didn’t stop him from being able to flirt with the cute guy who wanted to be his date.

Flirting was new. He wasn’t used to it, especially with someone that had an actual interest in him. But it seemed to come naturally, which was a surprise, and Baekhyun found himself liking it more than he had expected.

On the corner of his eye, Baekhyun had managed to spot Kyungsoo and his date sitting together on the other side of the room. The Durmstrang kid was cute – he had blonde, curly hair, and had on the same fancy red uniform as everyone from his school. But he also wore the white flower Baekhyun had helped Kyungsoo choose on his lapel, and the boys had matching smiles on their faces while they talked. They looked happy together.

He also saw Chanyeol and Kris in the crowd; because they were both taller than the majority of other students, spotting them was easy. They also stood out because of their good looks, though; Kris was wearing an all black ensemble and had braided his hair, while Chanyeol had classic formal grey robes, his hair styled slick back. People were noticeably staring at the good-looking couple, who seemed to be too immersed in their own conversation to notice.

Ignoring the painful pang in his chest, Baekhyun turned to Jongin, offering a hand with his most charming smile in place, “You wanna dance?”

Jongin took his hand, a dazzling smile breaking through his expression. “Sure. I’d love to.”

Baekhyun refused to stay bitter. This was supposed to be an incredible experience, and he was going to try his absolute best to make it so. Anything less would be unfair not only to Jongin, but also to himself.

When they were done dancing their hearts out, the boys went to grab a drink by the food table. The band was amazing, playing a mix of classic rock and addictive pop which made it impossible to stay still. Plus, Jongin was a great dancer, which came as a nice surprise.

“So,” Baekhyun said, as they served their glasses with punch, “how come you never asked me out on a date before?”

Jongin blushed again, but this time he managed to answer Baekhyun first. Baekhyun found it endearing how easily flustered the younger boy got.

“Well, Slytherins can be intimidating sometimes.” Jongin said, avoiding his gaze, “But you’re always so nice, which I guess made me pay attention to you.”

Baekhyun looked around the room, trying to find an appropriate answer (turns out Luhan and Minseok did go together to the ball, and now grinded together to the sound of Can You Feel the Love Tonight). He didn’t want to fool Jongin into thinking he was in love with him, but it was not like he didn’t have a chance, either. Going on a date would’ve been nice. But maybe going on dates from now on would be nice, too.

“I never noticed you were paying attention. You could have asked me to go to Hogsmeade with you or something, I would’ve liked that.”

“I thought I had absolutely no chance! After all, you’re older and really pretty.”

Baekhyun almost choked on his punch. He wasn’t really used to people looking up to him. Or calling him pretty.

“Thanks, I guess?” Baekhyun felt his face with his hands – he was definitely red like a tomato. “Though that’s not exactly true. The really pretty part, that is.”

“You’re blushing!” Jongin’s laughter rung softly in Baekhyun’s ears, loud and bright like a summer’s day. “I’ve finally made you embarrassed, for a change!”

So Jongin could behave like a brat, as well. Baekhyun liked that. He also liked the way in which Jongin’s eyes were reflecting the blue and silver lights that had been lifted to the room’s ceiling. He liked how Jongin’s hand felt laced with his own, and the way they exchanged soft touches throughout the night.

He wasn’t in love with Jongin. But maybe he could be.

“Do you want to go dancing again, Baek?”

“Actually,” Baekhyun slipped his hand in Jongin’s waist, desperately hoping he sounded smooth, “There’s something else I’d like to do right now.”

Holding hands, they walked outside. A stupid idea, maybe, as it had started to snow – but neither of them cared. The wind was chilly and their hands were cold, but their mouths were warm in each other.

Year 5

Jongin raised his head once again, trying to keep his body completely hidden under the balcony. They were working in clandestine circumstances here, and he was starting to worry about Baekhyun. He watched as elves prepared stuffing, washed apples and boiled soup; but there was no sign of his boyfriend anywhere.

Then, after a couple minutes passed, a slender figure positioned itself beside him, making the littlest of noises so they wouldn’t get caught.

“You made it! Finally!” Jongin gave Baekhyun a quick peck on the lips, relief settling into his lower stomach and making room for hunger, “I was starting to worry that you’d been caught on your way here. Or forgotten to tickle the pear.”

“No, I just ran into Jongdae when I was leaving Transfiguration class.” Baekhyun whispered back, grimacing, “You know how he likes to talk.”

“That’s something I can’t argue with.”

Baekhyun looked at his boyfriend’s face, his ears and nose red from the cold. He had been dating Jongin for almost a year now, but it still hadn’t been enough time to get used to it. The fact that he was constantly changing – after all, they were teenagers – didn’t exactly help. But there was something from the crook of Jongin’s smile or the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed that Baekhyun just couldn’t get enough of. It got under his skin and made him want to kiss it off.

Being with Jongin was nice. He was a kind boy, who had pretty mediocre grades but compensated for it with passion on the Quidditch field and hard work in the library. More than once, Baekhyun found him asleep in random locations of the castle, which just made the younger boy shrug and smile sweetly when he was woken up. I must’ve dozed off, followed by a warm kiss. They got along well, and their circle of friends was already pretty similar, so being together came naturally to both of them.

The summer between 4th and 5th year, Jongin invited him to spend a couple weeks at his house. Being at a real wizarding home had been amazing – Baekhyun had never expected the sheer simplicity with which Jongin’s parents handled their life, given the fact that they had magic at the tips of their wands. They were good, accepting people, who welcomed him like he was their own son. Their house was filled with flying books, since they both worked as researchers in a museum and needed a lot of titles at the reach of a hand, and the meals always warmed you up like a good hug.

Living in a remote village on the English countryside, there was a lot of exploring to be done. Jongin and Baekhyun spent whole days hiking on the trails around the house, finding hidden magical spots and having lunch together, sitting on fallen tree trunks. Those days filled with walks in nature, chilly lemonade and Jongin’s smile were unforgettable. Baekhyun thought that the last time he’d felt that happy had probably been when he discovered that he was a wizard.

Alone, he frequently wondered whether he was deserving of such pure, unrivaled happiness. Especially when the voice at the back of his head chose to come to life, reminding him that he had never stopped being in love with a certain tall bean of a friend.

But he pushed those thoughts aside when they were together. Now, there was only him and Jongin, a wicked smile and warm, beautiful skin.

“Are you ready for the best, creamiest, marshmallow-est, most illegal hot chocolate of your life?”

“I’ve never been more prepared.”

From the many things Baekhyun had learned about being in a relationship, the most unexpected had to be his newfound time management skills.

Turns out, when you are dating, the world does not stop turning. You are expected to handle just as much shit as before, but now you have another human being to care about, that you would ideally see every day. With the OWLs coming up, Baekhyun barely had time to breathe without looking at a few Herbology flashcards, much less to meet with his boyfriend.

Which sucked major ass.

At the very least, he had needed to improve his planning skills by force. Lazing around after class and having impromptu picnics by the lake, like Jongin and Baekhyun did at the beginning of their relationship, was banned completely. Their study dates, though, were increasing by the day.

“Baek? Are you sure you’re okay?” Yixing asked, “You’ve been staring at your Charms notes for the past 15 minutes. And I’m not sure you have been blinking.”

He was studying at the library with Yixing and Minseok, since Chanyeol was at practice and Kyungsoo had Transfiguration class with Jongdae. The older boys could help if he had difficulty understanding a subject, so the arrangement was usually pretty productive. Well, Minseok helped. Yixing usually drew fantastic animal figures and read queer fiction books.

“EVERYTHING IS FINE.” It wasn’t fine. Baekhyun didn’t remember the size altering Charms they’d learned the past week, which he should have been able to do. He felt like his brain was going to shut down and cease operations completely at any minute, but he didn’t have the luxury to do that. Every hour wasted meant precious revising time gone down the drain.

“Hey.” Minseok placed his hand on Baekhyun’s shoulder, shaking him slightly, “We’ve been there before, remember? Last year, actually. I know killing yourself by studying as much as possible feels like the right thing to do, but it’s actually the opposite.”

“You need to balance study and break time, otherwise your batteries will just run out and you’ll end up in the infirmary for a week.” Yixing said, nodding his head, “Like a certain friend of ours.”

“Yeah, Junmyeon was a wreck last year. The nurse gave him a whole lecture on healthy studying habits, which YOU” Minseok poked Baekhyun with his finger, twice for emphasis, “are not following.”

“I didn’t know that.” Baekhyun tried to remember last year. It was a whirlwind of foreign students and tasks from the Tournament and, mostly, if he was going to be honest, Jongin. Just now did Baekhyun realize how unfortunate it must’ve been to have your OWLs when your school was hosting the biggest competition among wizarding schools in the world. He vaguely remembered brief encounters with Junmyeon, his face tired but smiling, a thermal bottle of coffee in his hand. He made a mental note to buy his friend some chocolate from the secret student sweet shop. As an apology for not noticing, and because he deserved it anyway.

“Just don’t do anything stupid, okay?” Minseok looked at him, his face earnest, “Your health comes in first place.”

“Can’t really promise that, since I’m the supreme ruler of the Doing Stupid Shit club.” Baekhyun chuckled, “But I’ll be more careful with myself. Thanks, guys.”

“That’s what your upperclassmen are for.” Yixing said, “We are practically overflowing with wisdom. Do you feel the wrinkles forming in our faces, Minseok? Being old and wise is tiring as fuck.”

They laughed together, and Baekhyun set his notes aside for today. Maybe he’d find Jongin and they could go on a hot chocolate run again, or just talk about anything on an empty bench in the hallways. Either way, being together would be good enough. Tomorrow, he’d go back to studying, responsibly this time.

After the Yule Ball, there had been a huge boom in the number of couples around the Hogwarts hallways. A romantic mood was in the air, and a post-ball energy still lingered under everyone’s skin. Most of them didn’t last very long, though – Kris and Chanyeol included. They broke up after a couple months, and Chanyeol told Baekhyun it was mutual; they wanted to try things out, but they weren’t crazy about each other on a romantic sense. He wasn’t upset, just a little disappointed that things didn’t really work out.

But Chanyeol hadn’t really told Baekhyun the entire truth.

Kris had known since the beginning that, though they were good friends, Chanyeol liked someone else. But they clicked so well, and had so much fun together, that he figured it was worth a shot. It turned out that, in the end, his heart was also in the wrong place.

“It’s not each other we like, Yeol.” Kris talked to him in the same low, tender voice as always. It made Chanyeol feel like he was special for being the one who got to listen to it. “I care about you a whole lot, but I think it’s mostly as a friend. And I know it’s the same for you. So let’s break up and chase our dreams for real.”

They were sitting together in an empty classroom, enjoying their time together since neither had lessons. Kris was unusually quiet, though, until he finally brought up the matter that had been bothering him for a while now. Chanyeol couldn’t say he was surprised – they were a good couple, and kissing him was great, but it was far from creating sparks when they were together. Though it fit, it was also kind of underwhelming.

And still, it hurt.

“That’s, like, the swaggiest way to phrase a breakup that I’ve ever heard.” Chanyeol chuckled, trying to ease the atmosphere a bit, “Doesn’t make it any less painful, though.”

“The last thing I want to do is hurt you, Yeol.” Kris took Chanyeol’s hands, holding them tight. It was a funny image; Chanyeol had such big hands that they were usually bigger than everyone else’s. But Kris could fit them in his own just fine, making them look normal-sized and even cute for a bit. He’d miss that.

“It’s fine.” He wiped a stubborn tear on the sleeve of his robe, trying to sound at least a little dignified, “I’m not even mad, you know. Which is weird, for someone who has just been freshly dumped.”

“That’s because you’re in love with someone else. I can tell.” Kris smiled, no bitterness discernible in his face. “I think I might be too, in fact. It’s all such a mess, this love thing. I hope we can figure it out without dying or going crazy. It’s the best I can wish for at this point.”

God, Kris was intense. Being a major wreck himself, Chanyeol could relate – but it was more than most people could handle. He felt lucky for having someone to share his feelings with, though, knowing that Kris would never judge him in the slightest.

“You’re such a drama queen.” Chanyeol pretended to punch Kris, putting no real force in the gesture, “Won’t miss that.”

“Shut up. I just have a lot of feelings.” Kris said, “And I hope you manage to win Baek over, okay? I’ll be cheering for you from now on.”

Yeah. Baekhyun. He had been a constant in Chanyeol’s life for the past five years, and still he was far from understanding the shorter boy.

Sure, he was familiar. He was safe. Chanyeol had known he loved Baekhyun for the longest time, since their second year or maybe even the first, when he was brave enough to talk to an ill-tempered, judgmental boy who could only stare from afar – this love in a friendly way, of course.

But recently, he also made the butterflies that lived in Chanyeol’s stomach feel like they’d just been injected with LSD. When Baekhyun laughed, Chanyeol felt like he was on a free fall, without a parachute to secure his landing. It was terrifying, and it was absolutely delightful at the same time.

He was insanely dedicated to his work, but was also one of the kindest people Chanyeol had ever met. Once he set his mind to a goal, he would work to it no matter what it took. He had mood swings that went from ecstatic to melancholy in a span of hours, spending big spans of time locked in his room, lights out and utter silence. He was born a muggle, and that made him appreciate magic in a way that Chanyeol would never be able to.

Baekhyun. His Baekhyun.

He wasn’t sure if he’d manage to confess anytime soon. Even if he did muster up the courage, Baekhyun was with Jongin, and they were happy. They had gushed about their boyfriends together after the Yule Ball, which had been painfully bittersweet. The excitement of discovering physical attraction for the first time, while thinking that this might mean giving up on his first love just like that. A fruitless wanting that would never be acted upon.

In a way, Chanyeol had been relieved. His first love would remain intact, untainted forever in his heart. He would fall for someone else and hold this pure feeling on the most private part of himself, a reminder of the kid he used to be.

But things don’t work out the way we plan them, and he had never fallen out of love with Baekhyun in the first place. Maybe he’d have his chance now. Maybe.

Chanyeol whispered, his voice the tiniest trace of sound, “Thank you.”

The bleachers were wild in the Gryffindor versus Slytherin game. Though all houses had grudges against each other, theirs was undeniably the biggest rivalry of Hogwarts. Unsurprisingly, the student’s emotions transferred themselves to the Quidditch game that was about to start. Baekhyun, a little unsure about his place in this face-off, sat next to Kyungsoo and Tao in the Slytherin side.

It should’ve been obvious that a kid from Slytherin would be cheering for his team. However, his boyfriend being the Gryffindor chaser, Baekhyun wasn’t so sure where his loyalties stood.

The fact that games against Gryffindor were particularly hard, since Chanyeol had to go against Luhan in the chase for the Snitch, didn’t help in the slightest. Luhan was an extremely skilled seeker, who left behind all his pretty smiles and cordiality after entering the Quidditch field. Chanyeol had been really good at putting up a fight, though. Having watched him since his first year in the team, Baekhyun could clearly see how much he had improved, and he couldn’t help but be proud of his friend. He truly believed that, with enough luck and wit, Chanyeol might be able to catch the snitch this time.

“Who are you rooting for?” Kyungsoo asked, a teasing smile in his face. They had a tradition of watching the games together by now. “Your house, or your boyfriend?”

“Slytherin, of course!” Zitao answered for him, before stuffing his face with sweet popcorn. He had been whispering with Chanyeol in the corners of the Slytherin common room these past weeks, and the result of those private conversations was now clear for everyone to see: Zitao had a mop of bright green hair where black used to be. Trust that boy to be filled with pride for his house. “Everyone knows Quidditch comes before love.”

Kyungsoo laughed, adjusting the glasses on his face. He wore round specs now, and they looked quite good. Though he was just as small as Baekhyun (hanging around constantly with Jongin and Chanyeol didn’t do wonders for his self-esteem), he looked much more respectable. Like the son of someone important, or the kind of person who wore different socks each day of the week. He was still just as socially awkward and reclusive on the inside, though. Baekhyun loved him dearly.

“Tao, I told you not to talk when your mouth is full! There’s popcorn all over my scarf!” Baekhyun laughed, “I guess I want Nini to score as much as he can, while Chanyeol catches the snitch? Something like that.”

“That’s fair.”

“Okay, everyone, the game is about to start!” Yixing’s voice suddenly boomed around the Quidditch pitch, “I hope you’re having a wonderful day, and let’s not get in any fights over our teams, okay?”

Last year, the commentator of the Quidditch games had graduated, leaving the duty open for trials. To everyone’s surprise -and his own- Yixing managed to get the position, and now every game he sat at the eagle’s nest, narrating whatever was going on down in the field. Baekhyun thought his comments were as entertaining as the match itself.

As the game progressed, both teams were pretty close in score, but Gryffindor had the lead. Luhan and Chanyeol were stuck in their own little world, both getting painfully close to the snitch before it changed direction suddenly and left them unable to catch up. Jongin, however, was a really good Chaser, earning point after point with amazing goals. Baekhyun danced a little in his seat every time, trying not to bring too much attention for himself. After all, getting kicked out of his own house’s bleachers for treason would be pretty awful. He was sure Zitao would be the one to throw him out the stadium.

“The game is great today, huh? Jongin just scored his third consecutive goal, and Slytherin’s keeper looks pretty pissed off. Don’t frown like that, John, you’re probably going to get wrinkles before you’re supposed to. Wow, Luhan is zooming faster than me when there’s cheesecake for dessert. No luck getting the snitch yet, though.”

Suddenly, the snitch made an abrupt turn, coming closer to Chanyeol and enabling him to snatch the golden ball with his gloved hands. It was a moment of pure luck, where he stood at the perfect time and place to catch the snitch. And yet, there was still a bit of instinct and skill necessary to pull off such a move. As Chanyeol flew around the field, a smile almost splitting his face in half and the golden snitch being held triumphantly, Baekhyun couldn’t help but cheer at the top of his lungs.

Later, he found Jongin leaving the changing rooms, still sweaty from the match. His eyes were puffy – bad sign – but he didn’t seem to be crying anymore.

“Hi, Nini.” Baekhyun held up the single golden rose he had brought – it had taken quite a bit of effort and Transfiguration research to make, but he was nothing if not a dedicated boyfriend. “This is for you.”

“Baek.” Jongin smiled, accepting the rose, “Thank you. You didn’t have to… Especially since we lost.”

“Hey, you were amazing out there.” He hugged Jongin, holding the boy tight, “You scored the most points, and you were flying so fast that I lost you every time I blinked.”

“I guess.” Jongin rested his head in Baekhyun’s shoulder, trying to fight back the stubborn tears that overflowed anyway. “I can’t shake off this feeling that I failed, somehow.”

“Of course you didn’t fail. Your did your best, and it was nothing short of incredible. You can’t believe how proud I am to be your boyfriend.”

Baekhyun would miss the Slytherin afterparty today. But holding Jongin close like this, and being held by the boy like he was the answer to all of life’s hardships, he found out that he didn’t really mind.

The OWLs were approaching fast, and so Baekhyun found himself encased in the library yet again. He had been revising Defense Against the Dark Arts with Chanyeol for the past couple of hours, and they were getting tired. It would be time to change subjects soon.

They were sitting together on a table by the window, and Baekhyun tried not to get too distracted by the way that light passed through Chanyeol’s eyelashes. It made him look like a creature from another world. Baekhyun tried to feel guilty for the happy leaps his heart was performing in his chest. After all, he was with Jongin now.

Chanyeol himself had been pretty distracted as well, fidgeting with his quill and getting up frequently with the excuse to search for a book. Baekhyun suspected something was up, but he also knew from experience that it was best to let Chanyeol take his time processing things. He’d share when he was ready.

“Hey, Baek.” He looked up from his book, the spell he’d been trying to memorize already forgotten completely. Chanyeol had a way of absorbing all of Baekhyun’s attention for himself only. “What’s your favorite TV show?”

“Friends.” The question was sudden and completely out of place, but his answer came automatically. It was an easy question, after all. He had been singing I’ll be there for you for the most part of his life. “I’ve watched all 10 seasons so many times that I can recite the lines before the characters do.”

“I’ve never heard about it.” Chanyeol looked curious in a detached way, probably because he wasn’t familiar with the show, “I’d like to watch it sometime.”

Baekhyun wondered where that was coming from. The question wasn’t strange in itself, but given Chanyeol’s behavior lately and the fact that they were supposed to be studying, Baekhyun was sure there was more to it than what touched the surface. There was something on his mind, and Friends was somehow related to it.

“You’d laugh a lot, I think. But I don’t know if you’d be able to understand everything.”

“Because of muggle culture?” Chanyeol asked in a tired tone, as if he was used to it already. It happened from time to time; Baekhyun would tell a joke and their friends would laugh, but Chanyeol wouldn’t understand a single thing. Though most teen wizards had some kind of contact to the muggle world, Chanyeol’s household was different. He was explicitly forbidden from engaging with any kind of content that wasn’t part of the wizarding canon since early childhood, so it was common for him to miss a lot of references in conversations.

“Yeah.” Baekhyun smiled awkwardly, “Inside jokes, and stuff like that.”

“Baek, there’s something I want to ask of you.” Chanyeol placed both his hands on the desk and looked deep in Baekhyun’s eyes. The intensity of that stare made him feel vulnerable like he was naked. “I’d like you to teach me absolutely everything I wasn’t able to learn about muggle culture because I was too busy being afraid. I want to make up for the time I lost to prejudice and hate.”

Baekhyun’s smile turned warm with affection. He had never realized how much his friend cared about such a small matter. Something that was mundane to him could have been bothering Chanyeol all this time, making him feel ignorant and left out. He wished to hug the giant and apologize for not realizing it.

“Of course I’ll teach you, Yeol. I don’t know if we’ll have much time, because of the OWLs, but with a well-planned schedule it should be fine.” Baekhyun stopped mid-sentence, unsure if he should ask what really worried him. Figuring out that, after five years, they didn’t really have any secrets anymore –besides that one huge elephant in the room, the one that talked about love and lust and they ignored every day, – he asked, “But will your family be okay with it?”

“I don’t think there would be much of a difference, really.“ Chanyeol smiled bitterly. It wasn’t a good look on him; his beautiful grin was twisted with pain, feeling fake and miserable. “It’s basically a warzone at home already, but I had expected that. I braced myself for it. I’m only dealing with the consequences of my actions.”

“I guess things didn’t go very well after the ball, then.”

They had never really talked about Chanyeol’s parents after the ball, but Baekhyun had figured things were bad. He rarely received letters these days, only from his sister, and his budget for study supplies and Hogsmeade candy had been reduced to the bare minimum. But even if Baekhyun hadn’t noticed those things, the tight hug he had received from Chanyeol in the Hogwarts Express would have told him everything he’d needed to know. It was bordering on desperate, with his whole frame bent over Baekhyun and hands clutching tight in his robes. Back then, he had hugged Chanyeol hard and stroked his hair until he was ready to move again.

“That’s one way of putting it. My dad tried every single way of convincing me to appear in public with a girlfriend to decrease the rumors, but I put my foot down. It’s who I am, and I’m sick of pretending to be things I’m not. So he’s been giving me hell ever since.” Chanyeol lowered his voice until it was closer to a whisper, “Coming back to Hogwarts was a huge relief, you know. I’m not sure I could have handled another week back home.”

That’s not how it should be, Baekhyun wanted to scream. You deserve so much more than they allow you to have.

“Do you regret it?” He asked instead, voice just as quiet. Maybe it was a reflection of Chanyeol’s mood. Or maybe he just didn’t feel like breaking anything else for today.

“Coming out?” Baekhyun nodded. “Not one bit. Maybe I should, but I just don’t. I hated hiding because I felt like I was doing something bad. Like I was given a choice, and had chosen wrong. That’s just not how it works. I shouldn’t feel guilty for being true to myself.”

At that moment, Baekhyun realized just how much he and Chanyeol were the same. Those were the exact feelings that made him nauseated and panicked a couple years ago, when he thought that he was fated to a life of pretending, completely devoid of happiness. It was like looking into a mirror, only to find that reflection saying that you were really on the right path all along. It weirdly felt like they had climbed some sort of mountain together, though they had both done nothing more than be honest with themselves and with the world around them. Maybe that deserved just as much celebration.

“I know exactly what you mean.” He had never talked about his experience in such detail to Chanyeol. It made him a little anxious. “It wasn’t easy for me to accept it, either, even if my parents are okay with it. I guess I just felt broken, somehow. Which sounds very silly now, but it was like the end of the world for me back then.”

“People should stop acting like love is wrong. It’s the purest, most beautiful thing there is.”

Of course Chanyeol would bring all their troubled thoughts to such a simple core. He would never fail to move Baekhyun, it seemed. He felt like they could just go forever like this, chasing something they weren’t even sure existed. It didn’t even matter, as long as they were together.

“You’re right. You’re really, really right.”

It was December 24th, and Baekhyun ran on the stairs that led to the Astronomy tower, cursing at the dull pain that emanated from his thighs. He had never been very keen on exercise, and now he was paying the price. He felt like his legs could fall off at any moment now.

The reason why he was dragging his lazy ass to the tallest tower in the entire castle was a very simple one. It was his and Jongin’s one year anniversary, and they’d wanted it to be special. They thought that nothing would be more romantic than sneaking off after curfew and watching the stars up close. The Astronomy tower was famous for its view of the mountains and lake surrounding the castle, being a popular location for couples to meet. Now, it was their turn.

Finally arriving at the top, Baekhyun opened the door. It was dark inside, and the only thing he was able to see was the silhouette of a tall, dark-skinned boy leaning on the porch. Jongin was now noticeably taller than Baekhyun, and even more handsome than a year before. Mentally high-fiving his past self for being right, Baekhyun walked to his boyfriend’s side.

Jongin had gotten him a framed photograph of them smiling at Hogsmeade, snow falling all around and trying to build a crooked snowman together. They looked carefree and so legitimately happy that it hurt a little to remember. Baekhyun gave Jongin a Quidditch uniform of very good quality, which he had embroidered the chest with the initials KJ. They were leaning against the wall, sitting close together and kissing each other softly, when Jongin broke them apart.

“Baek, there’s something I wanted to tell you.” His voice was soft as usual, but there was a nervous edge to it that Baekhyun had rarely heard before. “I’ve been meaning to say it for a really long time, but the timing has never seemed right, and I think now it’s as good as it’ll ever be.”

“What is it, Nini?” He asked, running his fingers through Jongin’s soft hair.

“I love you, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun’s brain kind of short circuited at that moment. They had been dating for a year now, and maybe he should have expected this kind of confession sooner rather than later, but the truth was that he was taken completely aback by it.

He loved Jongin. He loved Jongin because he was kind, affectionate and beautiful. Because he was understanding and hard-working. But he still wasn’t in love with him. And he knew very well that what he could say wouldn’t be what Jongin wanted to hear. It would be the truth, but it didn’t have the same meaning as his I love you.

Besides, that boy deserved someone that was completely head-over-heels in love with him. Someone who would never look at anyone else. Who was in it with their whole heart.

Jongin was absolutely amazing, but he didn’t light a fire in Baekhyun’s heart. That job was taken by someone else, someone who unknowingly had come to mean the world to him. It had been like that for so long that Baekhyun almost couldn’t recall a time when he wasn’t enamored by Park Chanyeol.

Still, what a shitty thing to do, telling someone you don’t love them. As if we don’t have enough scars already. The last thing Baekhyun had ever wanted to do was hurt Jongin.

“Jongin, I- I think I don’t love you the same way you love me.”

Baekhyun would never forget the look that crossed Jongin’s face at that moment. It spelled hurt and betrayal in every single inch of skin. He was never one for self-deprecation, but at that moment, Baekhyun really hated himself.

“What? What do you mean?” Jongin asked in a defensive voice, detaching himself from Baekhyun’s arms, “Then how come you’ve been dating me, kissing me, touching me? Were you just fooling around?”

“No, of course not.” Baekhyun didn’t know how to make this sound reasonable, but he tried anyway. “I genuinely like you a lot, but I have been in love with someone for a really long time, and I imagined that I’d just fall out of it after we started dating, but it never really went away. I’m so sorry.”

Jongin started to cry. He tried to wipe the tears with the sleeves of his robe, but they were too many. In the end, he just let them fall to the ground.

“I see. So you’ve been using me to get over someone else.”

“Don’t say that, Jongin. That’s not how it is at all.”

“That’s what I’m hearing, Baekhyun.” He sounded like a wounded animal, and every word was a stab in Baekhyun’s chest. “If you don’t love me, that’s fine. But you didn’t have to lead me on for a whole year. Maybe it wouldn’t have hurt so much.”

“I’m so sorry, Jongin, but I’m only saying this because I care so much about you.” By this point, he had started to cry as well. Baekhyun could hear the desperation clear in his voice, and he hated himself for it. He deserved every bit of hate that emanated from Jongin’s gaze. “Because you deserve to be with someone who really is in love with you, and I could never lie-“

“Save that self-preserving crap for someone who wants to hear it.” Jongin cut him off, leaving the room and taking every last bit of Baekhyun’s conscience with him.

They avoided each other for the rest of the year. No one really understood what happened, since neither Jongin nor Baekhyun had been eager to hand out details. People just assumed they had a bad fight, and their friends stopped asking questions after a while.

The OWLs were hard, but Baekhyun was prepared. During the summer, they received the results via owls, and Baekhyun was pretty satisfied; he had gotten good enough grades to enter most NEWTs classes. He shared results with Chanyeol on a clandestine video call; his parents had explicitly forbidden any muggle objects from entering the house since his cellphone had rung, revealing itself. Now, Chanyeol had gotten a new one, and took better care not to let it make any sounds. He had done better than expected, with mostly Exceeds Expectations and a few Acceptables and Poors in his report card. He shrugged it off with a smile, not seeming to care much about it, though Baekhyun knew his parents would never let it pass unnoticed.

Their fifth year was a turbulent one, but it ended just the same. Baekhyun wondered what next September would bring.

Year 6

Baekhyun started his 6th year in Hogwarts in a different manner than the others. The journey was the same, the classes were harder, his friends remained just as stupid and lovely as always. But something was off.

He felt anxious. He felt impatient. He was only 16 years old, and it was already like his life was leaking out from between his hands. Baekhyun needed to do something to keep this feeling of drowning in his own head away, fast.

Maybe that was why he’d kissed Kyungsoo.

It was a stupid idea. He’d regretted it as soon as it happened. But he was feeling desperate for something, and he felt that maybe, just maybe, this might help.

They sat together in the grass, enjoying the last of the warm autumn day before the cold winter kicked in. Hogwarts in the beginning of the school year was its own world of light and warmth, perfect for picnics or just walking around barefoot. He and Kyungsoo had been catching up on what happened over the summer, talking about the books they’d read and the trips they’d taken, and Baekhyun had leaned in, just like that.

The kiss had been brief, nothing more than a touch of lips, and Kyungsoo had kept his eyes closed afterwards. He didn’t seem to be mad, but he wasn’t talking, either. Baekhyun didn’t know whether he was looking for the right thing to say or attempting to disappear. When he finally did speak, though, his voice was much more tender than Baekhyun had expected.

“We both know I’m not the one you wanted to kiss, Baek.”

He felt guilty for never having told Kyungsoo about his feelings for Chanyeol. And yet, it wasn’t even a surprise that he knew already. Baekhyun should have figured. Kyungsoo was much, much smarter than him, both in his studies and regarding his feelings. Baekhyun should have talked to him a long time ago.

“How did you know?”, he whispered.

Kyungsoo smiled, a real, honest smile. He wasn’t mad. Baekhyun released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

“I see it in the way your face lights up every time he enters the room.”

Baekhyun felt himself tearing up. He had been such an idiot. “I’m really sorry, Kyungsoo.”

“Thank you for caring enough to apologize, Baek.” Kyungsoo held his hand, smiling softly. “It’s okay, really. You know, I don’t care much about kissing. I just don’t see what all the hype is about. I’ve kissed girls, and I’ve kissed guys, and I don’t really care for it. Don’t worry about it.”

“Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun wiped his stubborn tears with his spare hand. “I might be in love with Chanyeol, but meeting you and becoming your friend was the absolute best thing I’ve ever done. I really am very lucky.“

He was being sincere. He couldn’t imagine a life without Kyungsoo there, listening to him and bringing some sense to his flawed self once in a while. If Chanyeol was the one that gave wings to his heart and made it soar dangerously close to the sun, Kyungsoo was his anchor. He made sure that Baekhyun didn’t fly away in a whirlwind of his thoughts.

“So am I, Baek.”

“And if you ever want to talk about the kissing- or not-kissing thing, I’d be glad to listen.”

Kyungsoo laughed, and that low chuckle was like music to Baekhyun’s ears.

“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Chanyeol and Baekhyun were leaving a particularly boring History of Magic class (in which Baekhyun had managed to beat him in magical tic-tac-toe 36 times out of 55) when Jongin approached him in the hallway. They had been avoiding each other since the past year, so this change in attitude came as a big surprise.

“Hey, Baekhyun. Can we talk?”

Chanyeol looked at him, worried. His face asked Is it okay? Can you do this?, to which Baekhyun’s gaze replied with Yeah. It’s been a long time coming.

Jongin was taller than Baekhyun remembered. Now, when they stood close, Baekhyun found himself looking up at the younger boy. He wasn’t as tall as Chanyeol, but it was just as annoying.

He was also more handsome. Puberty had been good to Jongin, and the effortless way in which he had grown into his features was beautiful. As they walked together to a quiet place, people kept turning back and doing a double-take, as if wondering Who is this guy? Since when has he been studying here?

They found an empty classroom on the second floor and, after they were both seated, Jongin spoke up.

“I wanted to talk to you, Baek.” He still called Baekhyun by his nickname. He hadn’t expected that. “I feel like there were many things left unsolved after we broke up, and I was too hurt to deal with anything back then. I probably would’ve blown up in your face if we had tried to discuss things rationally.”

The boy had a huge heart, which came with its benefits and its losses. They hadn’t spent the biggest part of the past 6 months not looking at each other’s faces for no reason, but Baekhyun knew that pushing him too soon would only lead to screaming and sobbing in the end. He was the kindest person Baekhyun knew, but he could also be unreasonable and stubborn during a fight. It was better to let that wound heal for a while. After all, Baekhyun had done something incredibly shitty, and he deserved every bit of resentment that came from Jongin.

But he was right. After dating for so long, they both needed some kind of closure.

“I guess I was really more angry with myself than anything else. I noticed, Baek. How sometimes you’d drift off, and you were clearly thinking about someone else.” Baekhyun froze for an instant. Jongin knew? “I just wanted you to know that we’re okay now, and I accept your apologies. I hope you can win the heart of the guy you’ve been in love with for so long.”

Jongin was way too nice. Baekhyun didn’t deserve forgiveness. He didn’t deserve it, and yet, it made him so relieved that he could probably cry a river right now.

There’s already been more than enough tears in this relationship, Baekhyun thought. He tried his very best to keep them at bay, at least until he could return to the privacy of his own pillow. Sometimes he really hated being such a crybaby.

“Thank you, Jongin. I’m really really sorry for the way I treated you, you know. Just… right now, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my chest. Though I don’t think I really deserve it.” He hesitated for a moment before asking, “Can I hug you?”

“Of course.” Jongin’s smile was as kind as always – warm enough to melt anyone’s ice. He made an inviting gesture before Baekhyun fit himself in between his arms, holding tight.

“God, I’d missed you.” Baekhyun’s mouth was covered by Jongin’s robes, so his voice came out in a muffled tone. “Have I ever told you you’re way too nice?”

“Yeah, you used to say it all the time. I still don’t see it, though.”

“Thank you, Jongin.”

“It’s okay, Baek.” He let go, and they made their way out of the classroom. Jongin had Quidditch practice, and Baekhyun was going to grab a snack before heading to the Slytherin common rooms. After they’d said their goodbyes and reaffirmed they would be friends again approximately 11 times, Jongin winked:

“Before I forget! Tell Chanyeol I’ll kill him if he hurts you.”

Baekhyun watched Jongin leave with a dumbfounded look on his face. It seems like he really hadn’t been very subtle after all.

If he had to choose, Chanyeol’s favorite subject at Hogwarts would be Quidditch.

Only that wasn’t really a subject, though it did take just as much time and effort, so he’d have to answer with his second favorite thing.

Chanyeol didn’t care much for the flashy spells they saw in Transfiguration and Charms. They were useful, sure, but such a bore to learn that he wondered if they were really worth it. He liked the way he felt when there was dirt under his fingernails and the smell of soil all around much more. The greenhouse in which they had Herbology lessons had become a kind of sanctuary for him across the years, the place in which he did his best thinking and felt the most peaceful. Chanyeol went there so often, to plant something new or just to talk with the sprouts (which not only were great listeners, but would occasionally give really good advice), that his friends always knew where to find him.

Which could be nice, but also had its disadvantages. After all, what good is a sanctuary if there is no peace?

Hearing the loud screeching of his friends outside, Chanyeol wiped the dirt from his hands on his apron, bracing himself for the interaction that was about to take place. Sure, they were his friends, but they were still people – and people made him anxious.

He had been a more or less outgoing kid, but the more he grew, the harder socializing seemed to be. Sometimes, he felt like a person who was missing a few essential neurons that everyone else seemed to have. The only one who was able to surpass his nervousness when talking to other people was Baekhyun, and even then, he brought a different king of anxious to the pit of Chanyeol’s stomach. A feeling more intense, more raw. Something that burned.

Chanyeol watched as Zitao kicked the greenhouse door open, a bright grin in his face. The boy really was unable to feel anything in moderation; he was either at the highest mountain top or at rock bottom. Today was a good day, and Chanyeol had learned to appreciate them dearly. Even if Zitao was a nosy piece of shit sometimes.

“Chanyeol!” Zitao announced loudly, his voice filling the tiny space in the greenhouse, “We’re here to do an intervention. Find yourself a stool that’s not permanently stained with fertilizer and sit down to listen. It’s a matter of the upmost importance!”

Jongdae trailed right after, finding a place to sit as well. He had a smile that screamed things here seem to be interesting; I can’t wait to see what goes down. Zitao placed himself on top of a tool cabinet, while Jongdae chose the floor, not minding the leftover soil that seemed to remain no matter how much Prof. Sprout swept it.

Choosing a random stool to sit, Chanyeol asked, “What is this all about? I don’t really see why I’d need an intervention.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, my tall noodle of a friend.” Zitao smirked, running his hand through his now-blonde hair, “It’s about your lifelong crush on Baekkie, and the fact that you really need to do something about it.”

“How the hell did you find out that I like Baek?” Chanyeol was scandalized. Did Baekhyun know? Was he just being polite, all this time, attempting to let him down easy? He had tried his absolute best to hide his feelings, but, apparently, it hadn’t been enough. Chanyeol was considering the most painless way of letting the giant squid strangle him to death when Jongdae’s voice brought him back to reality.

“Not to be offensive, Yeol, but it’s obvious.” Jongdae crossed his arms, “Neither of you are very good at being subtle.”

“That’s ridic- Wait, what do you mean, neither of us?”

“Have you never seen Baek’s face when he talks to you? He practically worships the ground you walk on. I just don’t understand why you never asked him out, after he and Jongin broke up. I figured you’d seize your chance, like, six months ago.”

The truth was, he had considered it. But Chanyeol didn’t want to be a rebound, nor did he want to take advantage of Baekhyun when he was vulnerable, right after the breakup. And the more time passed, the less brave he felt, until he had convinced himself that Baekhyun would probably reject him, and it would be better to leave things as they were.

Now, Zitao was saying that Baekhyun liked him. That he nurtured not only feelings of friendship, but maybe something else. The way Zitao talked showed that he was pretty sure of Baekhyun’s feelings, but Chanyeol thought it was probably all a big misunderstanding. Baekhyun would never love him, not in that way. That was the stuff that his dreams were made of, the ones that woke him up in the middle of the night, throbbing with desire. It would be just too good to be true.

“It’s complicated”, Chanyeol muttered under his breath.

“Kris has done it. He was honest with his feelings, and now we’re together. When will you?” Zitao, that little brat of a Slytherin. Chanyeol wondered if he was even allowed to think that, being a Slytherin himself.

But he was right. It turned out that the person Kris had liked back when he and Chanyeol were dating was Zitao, and this year he finally had the guts to ask him out. Currently, they were one of the most mushy and self-centered couples around the castle, probably losing only to Minseok and Luhan. Given their history of making out in random deserted hallways, Chanyeol was surprised that they still hadn’t been scolded by a teacher and sent to the Forbidden Forest.

“It might seem like we’re being nosy, but the truth is that we really care about you two.” Jongdae said, “And we’re kind of tired of seeing your love-struck glances across the dinner table, so we decided to give it a little push. Maybe that was all you needed.”

“Look, I know it’s scary.” Zitao smiled, his face softening for the first time during their conversation, “But trust us on this one. We’d never lie to you about this.”

The truth was that Chanyeol was tired. Living with so much want inside his body was not good for him. It was eating him alive. Seeing Baekhyun smile so beautifully and being unable to hold his hand broke his heart in a thousand bitter pieces. Every day being a series of little disappointments was just too sad for him to handle.

He had never realized what a burden it was, to love someone.

Maybe it really was time to be honest with Baekhyun, and with himself.

“Okay. I’ll think about it.”

“YEAH! GROUP HUG!” Jongdae yelled, throwing himself on top of Chanyeol. Zitao followed right after, and Chanyeol laughed, feeling the weight of his friends and thinking that he was one lucky bastard, after all.

The snow was finally melting from Hogwarts’ grounds, and flowers were beginning to bloom everywhere. Baekhyun wasn’t surprised when Chanyeol suggested that they studied Muggle culture outside, for a change. It would be a great chance not only to enjoy the warm air that greeted them with kindness, but also to appreciate the beautiful sight that was Hogwarts in bloom. The atmosphere was filled with possibility, and Baekhyun could feel his own cold melting away as well.

He tried not to think that this would be the second to last spring he’d be living in the castle. It was too bittersweet to remember. The pressure of being a 6th year was huge, with extra hard homework from his N.E.W.T. classes and constant lectures about the future from their professors. He didn’t even want to imagine leaving Hogwarts, much less think about what he’d do after. But it was inevitable.

Now, though, Baekhyun allowed himself to forget his worries. Being with Chanyeol and seeing the excited smile growing on his face when he explained the concept of an escalator was the best healing time he could possibly ask for. Their study sessions had been going steady for more than a year now, and Baekhyun looked forward to them every week. Being together, alone, and laughing about things that were part of his home life but sounded otherworldly to Chanyeol was Baekhyun’s idea of heaven. He really hoped Chanyeol would never stop being curious about toasters (it seemed unlikely, anyway).

He hadn’t yet done anything about his infatuation with the taller boy, though. Not that opportunities were lacking, and nor was love – maybe it was courage. They had known each other for 6 years, and making such a drastic change at this point of their relationship was seriously scary. He wanted to, of course he did. But it seemed like a barrier that he was not able to surpass.

Baekhyun shook his head, remembering where he was. I wouldn’t do to drift off in existential thoughts about his feelings for Chanyeol, but keeping those them at bay was hard sometimes. He was taking out his notes on Muggle culture when Chanyeol spoke up.

“Hey, Baek.” Was it Baekhyun’s impression or was Chanyeol’s voice higher than the usual? “I’ve been meaning to give you something.”

He watched as Chanyeol searched through his bag, fumbling to find whatever it was that he wanted. Finally, he placed a small, golden ball in Baekhyun’s hand. It took him a while to understand what it was, until the ball flapped its wings in protest to being held.

“A golden snitch?” Baekhyun asked, a puzzled look in his face, “Won’t you get in trouble for keeping this?”

“It’s okay. I’ve had it for a while, and no one’s ever scolded me or anything.” Chanyeol grinned, “Ever since our third year, actually.”

A look of understanding spread through Baekhyun’s face, his eyes widening.

“Yeol- Is this the first snitch you’ve ever caught?” Chanyeol nodded. “Why are you giving this to me? I can’t accept it, it’s too precious.”

“Look, Baek, just hear me out. I’ve been thinking about how I should say this for so long that I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t planning this speech, even unconsciously, in the back of my head. So it will just come out the way that it has to, and when I’m done you can tell me if you want to keep the snitch or not.”

Baekhyun almost couldn’t hear his own thoughts with the sound of his own heartbeat, ringing like a hammer in his ears and his pulse. He could feel himself starting a cold sweat. And even though he didn’t want to hope for anything, so there would be no way to let him down later on, he nodded in encouragement to Chanyeol.

“Baekhyun, when I first saw you sitting across the Slytherin table, the night of our sorting. I knew I was staring, but I couldn’t help it. There was just something about you. It made me so curious, and I didn’t understand why. I’ve been trying to figure you out ever since. I guess I haven’t been very successful.” Chanyeol chuckled, looking more at the ground than to Baekhyun. “You’re like a magical chest. You’d think you’ve seen everything inside, only to find out a whole new layer beyond what you knew. And I love it. I love getting to know you a little better every day. When we’re together… It’s like finding your own personal sanctuary within a person. No one makes me feel like you do, Baek. Not the safety, not the understanding, and not the desire. That’s all you, and it’s always been you. It could only ever have been you.”

“I’m telling you all this stuff because I couldn’t bear to keep it hidden anymore. It was just too much. But you should also know that I have no expectations. If we remain friends as we always have, that’s okay with me. Actually, it’s more than okay, it’s fucking fantastic, as long as- as long as you don’t ditch me.” Chanyeol’s voice cracked, and he looked back to a muddy spot that couldn’t possibly be that interesting. “That’d hurt like hell.”

Baekhyun’s mind felt like a hurricane was having a very nice, but very turbulent vacation inside it. Too much information to process, all at once.

He should’ve expected this. Chanyeol had always been braver than himself. That is, if a future in which of the two of them actually become a couple had ever brushed the realms of possibility within his mind. It had only ever been a distant dream, nothing more and nothing less. An impossible dream filled with very real desire.

It didn’t feel like a dream now.

It didn’t feel like a dream when he saw the look in Chanyeol’s face, and how unrelentingly his eyes reflected his own cravings. How come he had never seen that before? It was such transparent, earnest longing. It should have been clear ages ago.

Realizing he had been silent for a good couple minutes now, and Chanyeol was starting to look like he was considering whether he’d be expelled if he grabbed his broom and flew away from Hogwarts for an undetermined amount of time, Baekhyun decided to leave all this thinking for later. He already knew the answer that mattered.

He’d been feeling it for the best part of the last 6 years.

Baekhyun flung himself at Chanyeol, hugging him so suddenly and so tightly that they both fell rolling on the grass. Before he could even register what he was doing, there were tears pouring out of his eyes.

“I always thought it was too late.” Baekhyun said, his face buried right in the center of Chanyeol’s chest, “I thought we had missed our chance, and I had to accept it and move on. I just had to. But I could never really do it.”

“I like you so much, Yeol. Being with you is like being with a different part of myself. An oversized part that grew up in the magical world with toxic, lousy parents, but that feels just the same as I do. When we’re together, you understand stuff. It’s almost like I’ve been speaking English the whole time, and everyone else around me has been talking in French. But then you came around and you also spoke English and I never wanted to let you go ever again, because it felt too good to click like that with someone.”

“I never noticed all the French speakers around here.” Chanyeol laughed, wiping the stubborn tears from Baekhyun’s face. “You do realize how self-centered it is, right? Saying you love me because I am so much like you.”

There was no real bite in his voice; he hadn’t stopped smiling since Baekhyun had hurled both of them to the ground.

“I never said I loved you.” Baekhyun teased, as if daring Chanyeol to contradict him. “Though I do. Now shut up and kiss me, and don’t make me ask twice.”

Apparently, every single person in the Hogwarts castle knew about Baekhyun’s crush on Chanyeol. They also seemed to know about Chanyeol’s crush on Baekhyun. Their friends reacted in the least overwhelming of ways to their dating news, as if they had been announcing a new flavor of pie was going to be introduced to breakfast.

Scratch that. The pie would earn a bigger reaction.

Still, they were happy. The happiest they’d ever been. The first months of their relationship were soft pink cotton candy. They were just the same as before, but with a lot more hand-holding and lazy kissing in-between classes.

It was a seamless change and, eventually, it became hard to remember how things were when they weren’t a couple yet.

“Jongdae, where on earth did you manage to get that firewhiskey??” Junmyeon’s shriek was so loud that people had probably heard it in the castle.

The twelve of them were sitting together in the Quidditch field after dark, the only lights visible coming out of their wands. It was the last night when they were going to be all together like this, since tomorrow the train would bring them back for summer break, and the seventh years would leave Hogwarts for good. It made a part of Baekhyun’s heart that he wasn’t even aware of ache; it was something of loss and growing up and drifting apart. Tonight, they were all together like this. But they’d grow and follow their own paths and maybe never see each other again.

But tonight, they were together still.

“Let’s just say I have my sources, Head Boy.” He smirked, kissing the corner of Junmyeon’s mouth and proceeding to pour a shot to everyone in their circle. They had been going out for a few months, but Jongdae said it wouldn’t last. None of his flings ever did.

“It’s a party, loosen up, Myeonie.” Luhan laughed, “And it’s not like they can expel us anyway.”

Baekhyun held Kyungsoo’s hand tightly while the shots were being passed around. The 7th years leaving would be awful for all of them, but he knew Kyungsoo would take it harder. He had been really close to Junmyeon and Minseok since their first year in Hogwarts, and now he’d be the only Ravenclaw left in their circle.

Meanwhile, Zitao had found a way to attach himself permanently to Kris’ lap - not that he was complaining about it. Apparently, he had made Kris promise to send at least a letter a day, so he’d have something to read when Professor Binns had been talking for over an hour and it was hard to stay awake.

“To magic, and friendship.” Yixing’s voice was sweet as ever, but a little firmer today. “I hope we can get together out there, and once again share a drink like this. Meeting you all has been a great pleasure, and made my years in Hogwarts unforgettable. Thank you for everything. Cheers!”

A loud chorus of Cheers! could be heard while people downed their shots. More than one coughing fit took place as well.

“God, this stuff burns.”

“I think I prefer butterbeer.”

“Hey, it’s not that bad.”

“I’m not crying. You’re crying.” Sehun spat out, trying to wipe his tears with the sleeves of his robes in a way that no one would notice. Needless to say, he failed miserably.

Year 7

“Baek, are you sure this is a good idea?”

Chanyeol looked at the end of the very steep hill they were currently sitting on, only a thin layer of cardboard separating the two of them from the ground. Sitting this close together was nice, with his legs on top of Baekhyun’s and the feeling of his warmth in front of him, but the height of the hill wasn’t letting Chanyeol concentrate on the good things. He was more worried about the possibility of dislocating a member in a place where Madam Pomfrey wasn’t available and they weren’t allowed to use magic by themselves yet. Not that he didn’t trust the muggle medical methods, after all, he’d studied all about them – but they did seem to take a long time.

“Of course.” Baekhyun grinned, turning back to look at Chanyeol. “I used to do this all the time as a kid. You get a big piece of cardboard and zoom down the hill, kind of like a sleigh. What could possibly go wrong?”

All the times in which Baekhyun had said something of the sort and they had ended up bruised, aching or in detention suddenly appeared as a film in Chanyeol’s mind. He ignored it, shrugging, “You’re right.”

The things he did for love.

When Baekhyun had invited him to stay a couple weeks back in his home during summer, Chanyeol didn’t even consider the possibility. There was no way his parents would let him stay in a muggle House, much less if it was his boyfriend’s. But after a carefully crafted plan, a very decent report card and the promise to meet a few of his father’s friends on the Ministry to discuss his future, Chanyeol had managed to convince them.

It had been the most wonderful time of his life; which is a funny thing for a wizard to say about being in a place with absolutely no magic, but it was true.

He had been completely amazed by all kinds of electronic gadgets that one could find in Baekhyun’s house; the computer, specially, was his favorite. Seeing people moving around on a screen kind of resembled wizard pictures, but none of them wore robes or held wands, which was different. They also seemed to take a ridiculously long time to reach distant places, which made Chanyeol very grateful for Apparition. Baekhyun had provided them with a tight schedule of movies, series and Youtube videos marathons for them to watch; apparently, there was too much to be learned and too little time. He agreed with Baekhyun on the sheer brilliance of Friends, which was his favorite so far, but he quite liked One Piece as well.

“I love your room.”

Chanyeol was lying on the carpet, looking at the posters of old bands that filled the wall of Baekhyun’s room. There was a small shelf with a selection of YAs and poetry, a dusty guitar sitting on a corner, and no clothes lying on smelly piles on the floor. His room was pretty organized for a teenage boy – Chanyeol’s room was a dumpster compared to this.

“Yeah?” Baekhyun smiled from where he sat in front of the desk, looking for a music video to show him. Apparently, never having heard Simon and Garfunkel before was considered sinful in this household. “How come? It’s really nothing special.”

“I dunno.” Chanyeol shrugged, “You’re more home to me than anywhere else has ever been. So being in a place that’s so intrinsically yours… It’s soothing.”

Baekhyun blushed visibly, looking like he was wondering how to answer this particular piece of information.

“Yeol, I’ve known you for seven years, and you still catch me by surprise.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sometimes you get really existential, or you will say something very deep out of nowhere. When I think I’ve gotten used to it, BAM. There you go again, leaving me speechless.”

“I’m sorry, I guess.” It was true. Chanyeol had a tendency to overthink that had left him awake in bed too many nights before. Usually he kept it hidden around other people, but being with Baekhyun was so comfortable that he let his guard down.

“Don’t be.” Baekhyun’s smile was warm and beautiful, “I love that about you. Just like everything else.”

“Not fair!” Chanyeol could be 6 feet tall, but giggling was the only way of describing his reaction. He looked at the fluffy carpet, holding in the unexplainable desire to sink his face in it. That probably wouldn’t be very hygienic. “You do that too. You just did it!”

“Maybe.” The boys grinned at each other, too absorbed in their own world to let anything get to them. This moment, this minute, this second – it was theirs.

But summer doesn’t last forever, and soon they were back at Hogwarts. Being 7th years was stressful; not a class went by in which their teachers didn’t mention graduation, the future or the impact of their final grades on the jobs they wanted to have. Baekhyun had decided to try to become a magical doctor, since helping people was pretty much the only thing he wanted to do after graduating. Chanyeol, on the other hand, wanted to be a professional Quidditch player, but his parents weren’t very happy with this possibility.

Baekhyun himself thought he had a really good chance; Chanyeol had become Gryffindor Quidditch captain, and every year recruiters came to their matches, in the hopes of finding the next big talent playing on the Hogwarts field. He was good enough to play on National level, if only his parents would let go of the job in the Ministry they wanted Chanyeol to have so much.

“They were mad that I didn’t have a defined career yet, but when I told them that I want to become a professional Quidditch player they just flipped out.” Chanyeol complained, gulping water from his bottle. The Slytherin Quidditch team had been practicing hard for the better part of the last couple hours, and now they enjoyed a much-deserved break. Chanyeol sat on the field with Baekhyun, who had come to watch and cheer them on. There was an upcoming match with Gryffindor next week, and even though Luhan was no longer there to steal the snitch within the first five minutes, it would be a tough one. Baekhyun watched as the Captain badge gleamed in the sunlight and Chanyeol poured the remaining water over his own head. “My parents could at least have been happy that I decided on something, for once. But no, if you’re not working under the Ministry of Magic apparently you’re a lazy good-for-nothing who enjoys taking it easy. I swear, sometimes it is so hard to understand what’s going on in their heads.”

Baekhyun winced; dealing with Chanyeol’s parents was hard, especially when the subject was his future. They had both been trying to come up with a solution that didn’t involve upfront confrontation, but it seemed harder every passing day.

“Have they written to you recently?”

“No.” Chanyeol dried his hair roughly with a dark green towel, the locks now died pitch-black with the same transfiguration magic he’d learned so many years ago. “Their last Howler was crystal clear. If I don’t get a Ministry job and break up with you, they’re not going to contact me anymore. And none of those things are viable options in my life.”

“Yeollie…” Baekhyun whispered, “You can’t just stop talking to them. They’re your family.”

“I know, Baek.” Chanyeol’s voice had also come down to a low murmur. “It’s not like I want to. We have our differences, and they can be very hard to overcome sometimes, but I still love them. They’re my mom and dad. They’re prejudiced and ignorant, but they’re family.”

“I hated that you had to go back there every summer, even if it’s your home. It’s such a toxic place for you to be. “

The past 7 years, every summer had meant mixed feelings of happiness and anxiety to Baekhyun. He loved going back home and seeing his family, but he also knew that Chanyeol would be miserable and alone in his own house. It was impossible to feel at ease when a friend was hurting, somewhere he was unable to reach.

“I don’t think you can call it a home. It’s a house I’ve lived for a really long time, but I’ve never felt at home in there.” Chanyeol said with a thoughtful look in his face, “Well, maybe when I was really young… But I certainly don’t anymore. Going back is more of a burden than anything else.”

He didn’t seem like he was done talking, so Baekhyun decided to stay quiet for a bit. It was a good choice, since Chanyeol spoke up again shortly after.

“I have no intention of cutting ties with them permanently. But maybe this period would be good to cool things off and let them see that I’m truly happy with the life that I’ve chosen.” He shrugged, “I think that if I can get them to realize that, they may finally be able to accept it.”

Baekhyun looked at his boyfriend, wondering if he’d have the courage to ask what he really wanted to. Ever since they had gotten together, Chanyeol had broken Baekhyun apart on a completely different way from when he was pining one-sidedly; it was a good kind of being opened and put together again by someone else. But he worried that, loving someone that much, one day Chanyeol would pull him apart and leave Baekhyun there, open and bleeding. To be so vulnerable was frightening.

“Yeol… You’re happy, right?” He tugged at the poor grass in his concern – something had to take the toll of his nerves acting up. “I mean… Do you really think you’ve made the right choices? How do you know?”

Chanyeol stared at the grass for a while before speaking. His hand trembled a little when he held Baekhyun’s.

“I guess I don’t, Baek. I know how I feel when I’m on the Quidditch field, and when I’m with you. I made my choices based on those feelings, because they’re the strongest I’ve ever had. And I just hope they’re the right ones.”

Strong feelings weren’t necessarily good, Chanyeol thought. When he won a Quidditch match, he felt at the top of the world. But losing one had the same effect, on the negative side. It was truly disheartening to see all your efforts gone to waste in the span of a single match. But after knowing how it feels to fly on a broom with six other people by your side, that brotherhood, the connection – nothing could compare to it, and he’d never forgive himself if he didn’t pursue this intensity to its very end.

Being with Baekhyun was the same. Intensely lovely, and equally scary. But he comforted himself with the thought that, at the very least, he knew how to answer one of his boyfriend’s questions.

“But if it’s not clear yet, I apologize. I thought you knew already.” He lifted Baekhyun’s hand, kissing the back of it, “I’m happy. Really, truly happy.”

Baekhyun could feel himself blushing; sometimes, he couldn’t believe just how much he loved Chanyeol. It seemed unfair to hold so much love in a single person.

“I’m glad, because I am too.”

They locked eyes, staring at each other for a while. Grasping every little detail of this moment, so later they would remember it just as clearly as the leaves that fell nearby because of the strong wind.

“Hey, Yeol. I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something.”

“Uh? But I’ve confessed a year ago, you’re a little late for that…”

“You little shit.” Baekhyun his boyfriend’s arm, with no real strength behind it, while he felt a grin unconsciously spread across his face. “Shut up and listen, will you?”

“Okay, okay.” Chanyeol giggled at his own joke. Baekhyun still found endearing how such a big, long string of a person actively giggled on a regular basis. “What is it?”

“What do you think about living together after graduation?” At the look of surprise in Chanyeol’s face, Baekhyun started to speak faster, as he always did when he got nervous. “I mean, you wouldn’t need to go back to your parent’s house, and we could be together all the time, like we’re used to already. We’re both of legal age according to the wizard law, so there’s no reason not to, even if our parents complain. Unless you wouldn’t want to, of course.”

“Baekhyun.” Chanyeol smiled, and relief invaded Baekhyun’s stomach. “Of course I want to. It would be a dream come true.”

He leaped at the tall boy, hugging him tight. He was happy to find that at least one thing seemed to be going right in their turbulent search for a decent route in the future.

Luckily for them, 7th year Charms class wasn’t as impossible as Transfiguration. It was still hard, intricate magic, but at least they were able to perform most spells decently by the end of class. And it was great for talking, since it was always such a mess. Today, they were practicing the Geminio spell, which created a duplicate of any object it was cast upon; Baekhyun watched as Jongdae created multiple chairs on the other side of the classroom, making a mess and acting like it was because he wasn’t yet familiar with the spell.

Knowing Jongdae, he had probably mastered their next five spells already, and now reveled in the art of creating trouble during class. Having shared classes with Gryffindor, in their 7 years together on the same grade, had never once been boring (of course, History of Magic was excluded from this statement). Baekhyun smirked, turning his attention back to Chanyeol, who had successfully duplicated a safety pin but was having difficulty with his quill.

“I never expected to say this, but I feel like it’s kind of empty here without Minseok, Luhan, Kris, Yixing and Junmyeon.” Baekhyun said, after creating a perfect copy of his own cauldron, “No, I don’t think empty is the right word for it. More like… Lacking?”

“I know what you mean.” Chanyeol agreed, paying attention to Baekhyun’s wand movements, “It’s weird. It feels wrong, somehow.”

“Though they were a year older, I never realized how much time we spent together.” He sulked – of course, changes were a part of life, but they truly sucked sometimes. “I wonder how it’ll be like for Zitao, Sehun and Jongin next year. I hope they don’t get too lonely.”

“At least they will have each other, just like we will have each other out there.” Chanyeol squeaked happily, having finally created a pretty decent duplicate quill, “The world beyond Hogwarts is terrifying. It’s impossible to survive it alone.”

“I wonder how the guys who just graduated are doing.” Suddenly, Baekhyun felt guilty for his lack of active correspondence with his friends. N.E.W.T.s classes had been taking up all of his time, and he used what was left to worry about the future. He made an internal promise to write more in the future. “I’m going to send a letter to each of them tomorrow…”

Before they realized, class had ended, and Professor Flitwick made all the duplicates disappear with a flick of his wand. Students flooded the hallway, and Baekhyun kept close to Chanyeol so they wouldn’t get lost in the crowd. It was hard to miss Chanyeol, though, since the boy was pretty much a head taller than almost everyone else in the castle.

“I’m sure they’re doing great, after all, they didn’t even have time to miss Hogwarts properly.” Chanyeol said, “And I’m sure the younger ones will do just fine without us, too. They don’t even lean on us for stuff anymore, which it’s kind of sad, really. I kind of miss Zitao grabbing on our legs so we’d help him with Wingardium Leviosa.”

“I know, right?” Baekhyun agreed enthusiastically, placing his hands on his hips, “Have you looked at Sehun recently? He’s not that kid we met in our first year anymore. He’s taller than me! And too handsome for his own good, really, I see girls and boys whispering about him in the common room every single day.”

“It’s not that hard to be taller than you, Baek.” He dodged the kick that was aimed at his chin in a movement that revealed a lot of practice, laughing at Baekhyun’s indignant face. “Besides, he is really good-looking. If I wasn’t completely head-over-heels in love with you, I might whisper about him in the common room as well.”

“That’s a low blow.” Baekhyun pouted, “I haven’t forgotten you called me short just now.”

As they entered the Slytherin common room, a blur of golden locks and green robes flung itself at Baekhyun, which he then understood to be a very distressed Zitao.

“Kris says he’s got a cold, and he must be feeling so miserable all by himself, and I can’t even go there to take care of him, why is life so unfair, Baekkie…” Zitao wept on his shoulder, creating and enlarging a wet spot in Baekhyun’s robes. That kind of situation had happened so frequently in the past that he was surprised his robes didn’t have a permanent tear stain on them.

Still, it felt kind of nice. Surprisingly. It felt familiar and precious.

Chanyeol grinned at him, with a smile that said some things never change.

“BAEKHYUN! BAEKHYUN! BYUN BAEKHYUN! BAEK! BYUN BAEK! BYUN FRIGGING BAEKHYUN!”

Baekhyun had been studying Herbology – the N.E.W.T. written exam grade had a big weight on who made it as a doctor, since there were so many medicinal plants essential for treatment of bruises and diseases – when his boyfriend slammed open the door leading to the Slytherin common rooms. He had no idea why on earth Chanyeol was so riled up, but he was sure to find out soon enough.

“What is it, honey??” He watched as Chanyeol sat on a spare chair next to him, a huge smile splitting his face in two, “You’re going to blow up one of my eardrums any day now.”

“You’re one to talk, Mr. I Only Have One Volume And It Is Loud.” Chanyeol replied, but there was no real bite to it. That smile still took most of his face. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Look at the letter I’ve just received.”

Chanyeol pushed a crumpled piece of paper on Baekhyun’s hands before he had the chance to say anything back. Intrigued, he scanned the letter quickly, trying to understand just what all that commotion was about.

A scout from our team has been accompanying your performance for a while now… Excellent statistics, worthy of playing in the professional level… The Puddlemere United Team would be honored to have you join us after graduation…

“CHANYEOL! YOU HAVE BEEN SCOUTED!” Baekhyun shrieked, understanding spreading through his face. He flung himself into Chanyeol’ arms, almost suffocating his boyfriend in his eager embrace, “OH MY GOD THIS IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!”

“I can’t believe this is really happening, Baek.” Chanyeol sniffed, already feeling his eyes welling up with tears, “I was so afraid that all my effort would go to waste.”

“Honey, it’s okay.” Baekhyun hugged him tighter, letting Chanyeol sob freely on his shoulder. “It’s okay now. I’m so proud of you.”

“Now we just need to find a place in Dorset, and you can get a job in a hospital or in a clinic there. We’ll finally be living the life we’ve been dreaming of.”

It seemed so far away, but it was within the realm of possibility.

Maybe the future could be more than decent – maybe it would be even better than now. Baekhyun was reluctant to expect that much from the unknown, since the disappointment would only be that much bigger afterwards, but the future that he had hoped for was suddenly building itself true right in front of his own eyes. If Chanyeol had been working this hard for their life together, Baekhyun had to make sure not to get left behind.

“Sehun, I can’t believe you’re crying already.”

Jongin smirked, dodging a punch that was aimed at him. They sat together at the Quidditch field in what was the second graduation party of the group, a tradition that had been formed the year past and that would last only until the next one. Nevertheless, it felt precious and full of meaning, like the twelve of them were bonded together somehow. The feelings that they were unable to talk about every day, because life was so rushed and it felt so inadequate, were finally conveyed now.

“Next year, it will be only the three of us.” Zitao sniffed on a handkerchief, “It’s going to be so sad.”

Sitting on a circle on the soft grass and watching Kyungsoo pour the firewhisky for everyone, Baekhyun didn’t really feel like he was going to graduate tomorrow. Seven whole years had passed since he’d become a Hogwarts student, but it seemed like a lifetime. He had grown into the person he was today in between the walls of this castle. Studying here had shaped him in a way that nothing else ever would.

A deep sadness filled Baekhyun’s body tonight, and even though a year had passed since they’d last performed this ritual, his heart ached yet again. He knew that, from tomorrow on, he could never go back to being who he was in here. And it made him scared.

A part of him was hopeful, though. Because the future was waiting for them. Kyungsoo was going to work at a publishing house while writing on the side, focusing on his dream of becoming a popular author. Jongdae would pursue his love for adventure, having enrolled on a program to learn the caring of dragons in Albania. Chanyeol, of course, was going to start training on Puddlemere United in a couple of weeks, and he’d be living with Baekhyun in the small apartment they’d found in Dorset. Baekhyun would be working as an intern in a big magical hospital, with the possibility of being hired later on.

Everyone had a plan. Maybe this was the craziest thing – that they still felt like confused teenagers who had no idea what was going on, but the world didn’t see them like that anymore. They were legal adults with jobs to work in and bills to pay. It was insane.

“We’ll write tons, okay?” Chanyeol said, “Don’t worry. You’ll be too busy with 7th year exams to notice we’re gone anyway.”

“You’re the ones who will be too busy living life in the real world to remember we exist.” Sehun pouted, passing the glasses around until everyone held a shimmering shot of firewhisky.

“I don’t care much for the real world, to be honest.” Kyungsoo pondered in a low voice, “This one is much nicer.”

“Well, I’ll drink to that.” Baekhyun said, deciding on a whim to lead the parting speech, “To our sheltered lives in Hogwarts. For everything that we learned here. For the people we became, and for who we will be from now on. Cheers!”

After they gulped down the bitter liquid, a chorus of coughs erupted around the circle.

“It’s better than last time, I guess.” Zitao said, coughing a little, “Maybe next year I’ll be able to drink this stuff without my throat feeling like it is being ripped out.”

“Kim Jongin, you’re such a hypocrite.” Sehun yelled; the nasal voice was a sign that his nose was already completely blocked from crying. His growing fanbase probably had a really different image of him, but, to Baekhyun, Sehun would always be a little, spoiled, sweet brat of a kid. “You’re crying more than me!”

“Shut up, Sehun.” Jongin sniffed, sobbing pretty heavily on his scarf. Sehun embraced him, and the boys cried together.

“Guys, you’re not leaving us with a choice.” Jongdae shook his head before shrieking, “It’s group hug time!”

They threw themselves at the youngest ones, falling to the ground in a mess of laughter, snot and random limbs on top of each other.

Epilogue

Baekhyun paid attention to the clinging of the keys before anything else; it was a sure sign that Chanyeol was finally home.

Then, the door opened and his boyfriend took off his boots, covered with mud and grass until the last fiber of fabric, leaving them neatly besides Baekhyun’s sneakers. They made his shoes look like children’s.

After that, there were many ways in which this ordeal could go. Maybe for a shower first, if it was summer and Chanyeol had sweated his whole body weight on the field, or the refrigerator, if he had forgotten to bring his usual snack. Most days, though, Chanyeol went straight for the couch, where Baekhyun waited for him while reading a book or browsing the web.

“Took you long enough.” Baekhyun pouted, raising his arms so Chanyeol could fit right in.

There were days in which none of those things happened. Days when Baekhyun was stuck at the hospital for an overnight 12-hour shift, arriving home too exhausted to do anything other than receive a warm bath and cuddle in bed until he felt like a human being again. It was a rewarding job, though. He felt like he was really making a difference to every single person he took care of.

“You really love being the small spoon, don’t you?” Baekhyun asked in a low voice, his mouth against Chanyeol’s hair.

“Mhm.” The answer was a low, happy grunt, as he was still too sleepy to be articulate.

On weekends, they would either meet up with the crew from Hogwarts – apparition sure made itself useful – or stay in, rejoicing in the peace of their home and on each other’s company.

This was the life they had built together.

Baekhyun often wondered whether, if he could have asked their past selves when they were still living in Hogwarts, if they’d be proud of it...

He thought they would.