Work Text:
On the outer edge of an endless ocean there was a simple blue flower.
Out here, beyond everything that was mundane, all things held some kind of magic in them. The grass itself spoke of power as Maui's feet trod over them. The wind whispered grave warnings, which a demigod of Maui's tier need not take heed of. This was a place of the gods.
Or a demigod, as fate would have it.
The flower itself was positively gleaming with divine magic, an aura of healing energy swirling around it like the outer winds of a hurricane. Maui smiled widely as his hand moved down to grasp its stem and pluck it out of the earth.
"O-kay, we're finally here. Say goodbye to the middle of nowhere, little flower. You're going to make a lot of mortals very immortal."
This was no other than the fabled Flower of Eternal Youth, which had one of the least catchy names for a mystic artifact Maui had ever heard. He preferred 'That Flower Maui Cut Up And Turned Into Soup He Fed Everybody Until Everybody Stopped Dying Of Old Age.' It was a bit of a mouthful, but nobody was gonna say it very often. They were gonna be too busy celebrating being immortal and all that, and of course, praising the demigod who made it all possible.
Oh yeah, it was good to be back.
His massive hand grasped around the stalk, when he felt the sudden twinge of his conscience.
"Hey!" he snapped, letting go of the flower and grabbing his shoulder. "Do you mind? I'm saving humanity here!"
The mini Maui who lived in his skin folded his very much less godlike arms and glared at him. He didn't say a word, but being a fragment of his own consciousness given life in his tattoos, he somehow managed to say a great deal.
Maui sighed in exasperation. "Yes, as a matter of fact I am sure this is a good idea. Hello? Eternal life? Basically the thing every mortal hero who ever lived went after?"
Mini Maui tapped his foot, still disapproving.
"Gilgamesh?" Maui asked, raising an eyebrow. "No, I am not pulling a Gilgamesh right now. Gilgamesh was a few leaves short of a palm, which is all I'll say about that. This is actually going to work."
His disobedient and very argumentative tattoo went skipping across his abs, wandering out of sight to a spot on Maui's body he didn't look at often but knew all too well.
He started gesturing at a tattoo that depicted an enormous titan of rock and lava rising out of the sea, striking Maui out of the sky and sending his fishhook flying. It told the story of how he'd spent a thousand years in loneliness, and how the whole world began to spit at his name.
"That... was different," he said slowly. "The Heart of Te Fiti was actually the heart of a god, not some flower growing out of an island that doesn't even have a name."
Mini Maui didn't say a word. He didn't have to.
"No, I don't think it's the same thing," Maui growled. "And I'm about sick and tired of your lip. What am I supposed to do? Go chat with that crazy cult on the other island? Ask them if it's alright if I pluck the sacred flower out of the dirt? Is that what the correct decision would be?"
Mini Maui nodded, smiling.
"...well, I'm not doing that," Maui said stubbornly. "This quest has already taken long enough and I'm getting bored with it. Besides which, mortals are dying left and right and someone's gotta do something about that."
Mini Maui scowled, but before he could get a word in edgewise Maui talked over him.
"Or do you want that? Do you want them to keep losing all their best heroes because they get old and turn to worm food? 'Cause I think they'd be doing a lot better if they still had Keaau, or Laka, or Moana!"
There was silence on the island past the ocean's edge. The tattoo was quiet, choosing not to answer. It hurt him to have names like those evoked. Maui knew that because it hurt him.
"So without further ado," Maui said finally, "I am going to pick this flower and get cooking."
He grabbed it by the stalk and began to yank.
And the entire world shook.
Lava rock beneath his feet cracked and waves began to crash. Clouds separated to make a gash in the sky, through which a total eclipse of the sun plunged the world into darkness. The magic in the air screamed and hissed like a dying monster, and Maui felt a deep cold stabbing into his soul.
Maui stopped yanking, and everything returned to normal.
There was another long silence, with Maui looking back and forth between the mystical flower and the all-too smug looking tattoo on his abdomen.
"...alright," he said finally. "Alright. Alright, alright, alright fine. We'll do it your way. We'll go talk to the crazy cult priests, we'll figure out what god or goddess has this flower growing out of their head, and then if it's safe we'll come back for it. We'll make a research project out of it. Are you happy now?"
The obnoxious Mini Maui beamed in response, and struck a pose pointing to the nearby island. Maui rolled his eyes and walked away, leaving the simple blue flower where it grew.
Mortals had been mortal since time began. They could be mortal a little longer.