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Riko looked down intensely at the book in front of him, studying each and every word carefully as he readied himself to make a good breakfast for his girlfriend. Fastening the knot on his ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron, Riko double, triple and quadruple checked that all the ingredients were there for his omelette; a jalapeno, three eggs, a handful of spinach and a package of sliced cheese.
This shouldn’t be hard; there’s instructions in the book, and Yo says that I’m one of the best people she knows at making hard-boiled eggs… so an omelette should be even easier… Right?
Step 1 - Crack eggs into the bowl and stir.
Looking down at the stainless steel bowl in front of him, Riko took one of the eggs that was nearest to him, and did the only thing he could think of that would fulfill the role of ‘cracking eggs’, decimating it onto the side of the bowl, spilling both the contents of the eggs, as well as the broken pieces of the shell into the bowl.
Hmmm… does Yo normally crack the eggs like this? Maybe it’s a health thing to crack them like this; the shells do have calcium in them, or something like that…
Stirring together the egg and shell mixture, Riko gave a satisfied smile at the yellow, shell-littered mess inside of the bowl. Not noticing his mistakes, he repeated the process twice more, leaving the eggs looking more like the face of a cactus rather than a smooth, yellow mixture
Step 2 - Mix in spinach leaves; keep it at a 2:1 ratio of eggs to spinach.
Looking towards his ingredients, Riko picked up the spinach, noticing the leaves were all connected together into a big bushel, connected by a tougher, white stem.
Should I leave the stem in as well? I don’t remember if I’ve ever eaten the stems… o-oh, but I remember Yo lecturing me that the stems have a bunch of nutrients… well.. Here goes nothing.
Riko took the bushel of spinach by the stem, snapping the small bottom end of the core off as he drops the leaves and stems into the bowl , giving himself a metaphorical pat on the back as he stirred the green, egg-covered disaster that was his ‘special breakfast omelette’. Riko looked over as he heard the door creak open, a disheveled emerging from the darkness.
“Hey babe; which dresser is your spare binder in again?” Yo tiredly called out, eyes blinking to adjust to the light, “I want to use one today and all, but I can only find the new one, and I want you to wear that one.”
“Oh, it’s alright, you can use that one, I don’t mind either of them dear,” Riko responded, looking up from his bowl to smile at the sleepy Yo shuffling to their water cooler to drink a glass of water, “will it be my lovely boyfriend heading with me later today?”
“Mmm, yup; thank you for making sure, baby,” Yo tiredly answered, giving his best sleepy smile, before shuffling back to the bedroom, “can I use some of your clothes; I’ve wanted to try on that button up for a while now.”
“Yeah, of course you can baby,” Riko warmly agreed, blowing a kiss to Yo and he went back into their bedroom to take a shower. Riko refocused his mind towards the bowl, looking back to the recipe book, which he was definitely following perfectly.
Step 3 - Add diced jalapeno to the bowl, to taste.
Hmm; Yo really seems to like spicy food… and it doesn’t give any sort of measurement. I don’t think we’re going to be using jalapenos any time soon, so I’ll just add the whole thing!
Preparing to handle the peppers (Yo told him that he should wear gloves so he doesn’t get pepper juice in his eyes) Riko brandished the knife, cutting the stem off before chopping the rest of the jalapeno up into bite sized pieces. Scraping the pepper into the bowl, Riko mixed them in evenly, noticing that the pepper smell seemed to be a lot stronger than when Yo made their omelettes… maybe his omelettes were just that tasty!
Step 4 - Grate cheese, then add to omelette mixture. Prepare and oil pan.
Riko gave a sigh of happiness; his omelette seemed to be shaping up to be his greatest culinary work, and to top it off, his boyfriend was gonna be simply blown away by how good it was!
‘Grate cheese’… b-but all I have are cheese slices…. Maybe it’ll spread the cheese more evenly ‘cause they’re thinner… y-yeah, that sounds good.
Fumbling with the plastic sleeves of the cheese slices, Riko unceremoniously dropped them into the bowl, finally finishing his wonderful amalgamation that would… definitely be an omelette. Taking a break from being the world’s next star chef, Riko bent down to pull a pan from their drawers, setting it on the element as he turned the gas on. Looking around the countertop, Riko spotted a bottle of olive oil, which he grabbed and promptly poured into the pan.
Step 5 - Pour mixture into pan, and make sure the fillings are spread evenly throughout the pan. Let it sit until the bottom is firm, and the top is still somewhat uncooked.
Switching his focus between the pan, bubbling with heated oil and his mixture, a yellowish mixture dotted with raw jalapeno seeds and egg shells, Riko did what any person would do when making an omelette, and quickly poured the contents of the mixing bowl into the pan. Thinking that this would minimize the amount of oil that would splatter on him, his spontaneous mistake only served in making more of a splat-zone shaped omelette than a circular one. Upon hearing the sound of sizzling and the wonderful smell of cheese melting, Riko gave himself a metaphorical pat on the back for nailing breakfast; he knew that once Yo took a bite of his masterpiece, that there would be a big kiss and words of praise in store. Letting the omelette take its time browning, Riko waited, like the instructions said, until the top of the egg was starting to take shape. Taking a nearby spatula, Riko quickly slipped it under the omelette, making a circular emotion around it until he could feel the omelette move freely. This is just like making a pancake; and those are easy as well! Man, i should start to cook more… I wonder what I should make next… maybe pasta? Deciding that the first side of their breakfast was complete, Riko concentrated as much dexterity as he could manage into his hands, whispering a silent prayer as he rotated his wrist, flipping the omelette over, unceremoniously splatting back onto the pan again, browned nicely considering the amount of shells dotting the yellow egg.
Too impatient to wait for the other side to brown, Riko left his station to fetch a set of cutlery, glasses and plates, setting out a breakfast spread for himself and Yo. Grabbing one last plate to house his newly made masterpiece, Riko cautiously scooped up the fully cooked omelette and placed it onto the plate, congratulating himself on a job well done. Taking out his phone, Riko took what he thought would be a photographers position, snapping, portrait shots of his food so he could show the world what he was capable of. Mimicking a waiter at a fancy restaurant, Riko made a show of bringing the omelette to the table, holding the plate like a tray as he placed it in between their plates. Just as he make his way back into the kitchen to grab the bottle of ketchup from the fridge, the sound of their bedroom door opening echoed across the room, letting Riko know what he was right on time.
“Smells great Riko; I can’t wait to eat!” Yo called out, catching Riko’s eye as he effortlessly pulled off the button p they had both bought together on a whim, “ omelettes huh, isn’t that quite hard to--”
Yo’s sentence was cut off as he was confronted with Riko’s cooking; while the eggs were cooked well, and the scent was good, the look of it… scared him. Fleck’s of unnatural write seemed to come up in jagged, sharp edges around the omelette, and there was a large orange-ish square in which he presumed was an… entire slice of cheese. At least Riko remembered to add the jalapeno… although Yo hoped that all of the pepper rings magically grouped together, because the amount that was immediately visible was… frightening.
“C’mon, babe! Sit down; I made it because I know its your favourite!”
Yo was flattered that Riko was able to remember small, intricate things like that about himself; it was one of those things that he tended to do that made Yo appreciate him even more, but at this point, he didn’t know if that was a blessing or a curse. Sitting down, Yo watched as Riko cut the omelette in half with his knife, cutting clean into the egg with a resounding -crack- --
Wait, a -crack-? Omelettes don’t usually go -crack-; did Riko--
“Eat up babe! I made us lots!”
Yo gave a haphazard and nervous smile as he picked up his own cutlery and cut himself a piece that had as little of the white parts as he could, wanting to at least have a first bite that wasn’t a complete mystery to him. Giving Riko a smile before he opened his mouth, Yo bit off the piece he cut himself, chewing as revelations her made clear to him. Those white parts? Eggshells. The jalapeno? Core and seeds still very much intact. Trying his best to brave it out for his boyfriend, Yo chewed and forced a look of absolute delight as he was bombarded with flavours and textures he was nowhere near prepared for. Was the hard object he broke with his teeth a jalapeno seed or an egg shell? Was that chewier piece the stem of a spinach leaf, or a jalapeno. There were too many questions that, no matter what the answer was, would not solve Yo’s predicament.
“So how’s the omelette babe? I followed the instructions you gave me, but I wasn’t getting a few points,” Riko explained, making light to Yo of why he was currently sitting there with his mouth curled up in one of the most pained smiles of his life, “so I improvised to the best of my ability; I hope I was able to impress a master chef like yourself!”
“Y-You really -cough- did, babe,” Yo stammered, the incessant heat from chewing one too many jalapenos making Yo’s mouth feel like a roaring fire, “c-can I just ask; did you add…. I dunno… eggshells?”
“Yup! For calcium or something like that.”
“Jalapeno seeds?”
“Didn’t want to waste a single bit!”
Yo sat there in silence; not just because of the regret and shock he had over not giving Riko more clearer instructions; he also sat stunned as the heat and high concentration of non-edible eggshells in his mouth proved to be too much to hide behind a facade, making him suddenly scoot back his chair, getting up out of his seat.
"Now if you'll excuse me love, I literally can't feel my mouth right now, and I have to wash it out under the sink," You announced, as he spit a dozen pieces of eggshell into their kitchen sink.
Scooching his chair over to face the kitchen, Riko watched as Yo screamed under the kitchen sink, using both his hands and the water from the faucet to wipe at his tongue, which looked red and swollen. Maybe Yo was allergic to jalapenos; Riko totally forgot to ask him about that.
"S-So... was it good?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH MY MOUTH!!!!"