Chapter Text
It’s only been 10 minutes since Alex boarded the plane. Kelley found it funny how she let people board before her to stay on the ground as long as she could. She just didn’t understand how a sane person could ever feel even remotely safe in a metal tin shooting through the air. Alex Morgan did not like flying, and her whole team knew it, her whole family knew it, hell the world knew it. Her teammates teased her relentlessly for it, the badass forward shaking at the thought of flying. Then how was she so good at flying headers. That’s what Syd had asked her the first time she was her seat buddy on an airplane. Alex would rate Syd a 1/10 as an airplane buddy. She had a small-bladder meaning she shook her awake every 5 minutes to go to the bathroom. She also spoiled the movie that Alex was watching.
Kelley was causing quite the chaos trying to shove her bags in the overhead compartment. Alex finally got up, irritated, took the bag from the girl’s hands and easy slid it in and closed the compartment.
“Thanks” Kelley mumbled. “Can I have the window seat?”
Alex nodded and Kelley squeezed by her to settle down on her seat.
Her mind was going at a million miles an hour like it didn’t know how to slow down. Or maybe she didn’t know how to slow it down. She read somewhere that the odds of being in a plane crash is 11 million to 1 but yet there’s this fear aching to be felt in the back of her head, this loud pounding of her speeding heart. The thing about fear is that it demands to take over whether rational or not. She didn’t realize that she was drumming her fingers on the armrest until she felt soft fingers on her arm, snapping her back into reality.
“I can hear you freaking out.” Kelley covered her hands with her own, steadying them. Alex sighed and turned towards her.
“I hate this,” Alex mumbled leaning back towards her seat.
The pilot announced that they would now start their take off and the seatbelt light lit up.
“It’s only been 15 minutes Al.”
Alex rolled her eyes at her girlfriend, “I’ll be fine after takeoff.”
“Sure you will,” Kelley said sarcastically, she’s been on hundreds of flights with Alex for games, for family, for vacations. She mastered the art of calming the striker down.
She knew that telling her to calm down was useless but grounding her helped.
Kelley intertwined their fingers together and pressed a gentle kiss on her knuckles. Alex clamped her eyes shut during take off and held her breath squeezing their hands tight. Before she knew it they were in the air and her death grip had ended, now she just had to survive 2 hours in the air.
They had decided to buy the premium wifi to stream the Arsenal game. It was halftime and Barcelona was up 2-1. Alex was completely focused on the game that the two hours passed by quickly. Soon it was wheels down in Orlando. As soon as they got out of the airport (stopping for a few fans of course) they were met by Ashlyn with a killer bear hug.
“How was your weekend getaway?” Ashlyn threw their bags into the bag of her jeep effortlessly and hopped on. Kelley and Alex squeezed into the back seat together.
“It was very much needed,” Alex replied, Kelley had surprised her with tickets to Cabo out of the blue and before she knew it they had jetted off. That was always one of the things that Alex adored about her girlfriend, things were never dull with Kelley O'Hara. “I taught Alex how to surf, she’s still horrible though.” Alex rolled her eyes.
“Ali won’t even get on a board,” Ashlyn said looking in the rearview mirror.
Conversation flowed smoothly on the ride back to Alex’s apartment despite the lack of sleep from the couple in the back. Ashlyn dropped them off in the parking lot offering to help carry their bags.
“Ash, we got it, you go back before Ali thinks we kidnapped you.”
Kelley struggled to get Alex’s duffel on her shoulder, “You mean your girlfriend’s got it.” She grumbled. Alex smiled at her and patted her on the back, “I knew I kept you around for a reason.”
Ashlyn laughed, “Alright I’ll leave you two to it than,”
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Kelley threw their bags down as soon as she kicked the door to the bedroom open. She flopped onto their bed and crawled under the covers. “Nap time, Alex.” She said engulfing herself into the blankets.
“Kelley, get changed first.” Alex was stubborn about not wearing dirty clothes to bed. Kelley knew that there was no way her girlfriend was going to let her win this one so she reluctantly got up and changed.
After they had both discarded the dirty airport clothes Kelley tilted her head. “Ok, now nap time.”
Alex snuggled into Kelley’s side and they caught up on the much-needed sleep.
Kelley woke up before Alex and she shifted trying to look for her phone. She reached around Alex and patted the bedside table, blindly feeling for it. Finally, she felt it under the pillows and grabbed onto it.
Kelley flipped through the photos from the weekend. Her favorite photo was of them on the beach just sitting. Alex leaning on her grinning while Kelley looked at her like she hung the stars. She didn’t realize that she was absentmindedly playing with her hair while switching between her social medias. She didn’t want to wake Alex, who didn’t get much sleep in the last few days.
“Why aren’t you napping?” Alex mumbled opening her eyes.
Kelley put down her phone, “I didn’t wanna wake you.” she snuggled closer to Alex. They stayed like that a while until they couldn’t ignore the growling of their stomachs anymore. Alex dragged Kelley up much to her dismay to help her cook brunch. Alex trudged over to their coffee machine and Kelley heated up the stove. The worked in sync and whipped up some sunny-side eggs on toast. It was one of their long-established promises to always try to start the day and end the day with each other. It didn’t always happen with their hectic life but during the offseason, they tried their hardest.
This was Kelley’s favorite. The peacefulness of the apartment, the sunlight shone through the window, lying on the floor like sweet honey. Waking up surrounded by the warmth of her girlfriend. It was perfect.
They grabbed a shower after eating, Alex wanting to scrub off the airport grime. Of course, Kelley insisted that if Alex is gonna force her to shower they might as well shower together. She claimed that it was good for the environment to save water.
They were enjoying the day but Kelley knew that Alex wasn’t addressing the big elephant in the room, pre-season started in 4 days. It’s the hardest part of their profession. Soccer always came before their personal lives. Every time they parted ways Kelley felt this ache in her heart longing to be with Alex. They spent the rest of the day at the mall, Alex dragging Kelley from store to store.
Kelley knew that she had to pack eventually, she had put it off all day not wanting to talk about it with Alex. But it was getting late and they were winding down on the couch watching reruns of Friends Alex slowly falling asleep on her shoulders. She knew that if she didn’t pack now they’d fall asleep and she’d probably be late to the airport.
“Al, wake up.” Kelley moved off the couch grabbing the remote to turn off the tv.
Alex blinked a few times sitting up on the couch, “Sorry, I fell asleep.”
Kelley held out her hand and pulled her off the couch, “Babe I gotta pack.” Alex sighed and wrapped her up into a hug, “I don’t want you to go.” She sounded small, her face muffled by Kelley’s chest. Kelley pulled away and she leaned in a little closer, their foreheads touching. “I know baby, but I’ll see you in 2 weeks. We’ll text, we’ll facetime, I’ll text you interesting pictures” She said raising her eyebrows making Alex laugh. “Let’s go pack your stuff then.”
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Being back in Utah was an adjustment for sure. She adjusted to getting coffee every morning on her own. Waking up in a bed that’s all too big and all too cold. She focused everything on her training. Alex tried to not let it get to her head when Kelley started leaving her on read more and began to be too ‘busy’ to answer her calls.
She didn’t even realize that she was doing it until Becky confronted her after practice one day.
“So what’s going on with you and baby horse?”
Kelley turned around confused, she put her water bottle down and sat down in front in front of her locker.
“What do you mean?”
“Alex called me last night freaking out because you weren’t answering her texts or calls,” Becky said, in a tone almost accusatory.
Kelley looked surprised, “I didn’t mean to. I think I just got in my head.”
Becky nodded and let the matter go. “Call her Kelley.”
Kelley nodded and walked towards the locker room, cleats in hand.
For the rest of the week, she made sure to open up to Alex. She shared her insecurities about this new team and her worries. Of course, Alex reassured her that she would be just fine and that the team would pull together she just needed to give it time. And Kelley believed her. She started performing better in practice and during scrimmages and Laura Harvey noticed. She called her over after practice one day for a chat.
“You’ve been tearing it up out there O'Hara.”
Kelley smiled at her coach, “Thanks Coach, just trying to help the team chemistry.”
“Well Keep it up Kelley.” She patted her on the back.
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Of course, all that chemistry they spent building up during the pre-season was disrupted when the national team players were called into camp. Kelley was relieved that she would finally get to see Alex. They were taking on China in the heart of Ohio. Kelley flew out from Utah with Becky, who she had gotten surprisingly closer with as the preseason progressed. They had been close before being on the same team from Kelley being on the back line but this was a whole different level. She was becoming her mentor like Hope did many years ago. Hope had helped her transition into her defensive position and now Becky is helping her embrace her newfound veteran status as a player.
She arrived at the hotel a few hours before Alex. Kelley was excited when she found out Mal was her roommate. She hasn’t roomed with her in a long time and they’d finally get to catch up. Mal was like a younger sister to her and whenever they roomed together good pranks happened. Mal crushed her into a bear hug as soon as she saw her, dropping her bags on the ground to swing the young girl around.
“How’s my favorite teen.” Kelley teased knowing that Mal hated that nickname.
She rolled her eyes, “Not so teen anymore Kell.”
Kelley smirked and ruffled her hair, “Yea but you still can’t drink.”
They got settled into their room while waiting for the rest of the team to show up. Kelley refused to unpack any of her stuff before collapsing on her bed for a nap.
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@Alexmorgan13: Wheels down in Ohio, heard @Malpugh stole my roommate.
After Alex dropped her stuff in her room she shared with Sydney she set out on a mission to find her girlfriend who seemed to be nowhere to be found. Usually, Kelley would be joking around with the younger girls or out exploring but both Rose and Andi said that they haven’t seen Kelley or Mal since they checked into their rooms hours earlier. Alex shook her head amused knowing that probably meant Kelley really didn’t leave her room. She knocked on their door and waited a few seconds before Mal swung the door open.
“Alex!!” The excited girl wrapped her up in a tight hug. “Kelley’s napping right now, I didn’t want to lose my arm trying to wake her up. Maybe you can try since she likes you too much to decapitate you.”
Alex laughed at how childish her girlfriend seemed at times. She tiptoed in the room, slipping her shoes off and setting her phone down silently on the nightstand. She saw a sleeping Kelley sprawled out on the bed snoring lightly. Alex checked the clock, they had 4 more hours before team dinner and meeting. She laid down next to Kelley, squeezing the girl over so she could sneak under the blankets with her. Mal laid down for a nap grumbling about how Alex stole her nap buddy. Alex just enjoyed being near her girlfriend again. Savoring the neverending warmth that radiated off of Kelley and being surrounded by her smell. She slowly nodded off into a peaceful slumber.
Kelley woke up to arms around her, she froze up before realizing that it was Alex’s. Kelley turned around in her arms to take in the beauty that was Alex Morgan. She took in everything she was deprived of in the past few weeks. The way that Alex slept with her mouth open slightly the way that she looked completely peaceful. Kelley lightly drew patterns on the small of her back where her shirt rid up from the sleep. She soaked in the warmth of the covers knowing that they’d have to get up soon. She looked over at the other bed. Mal sat up against the headboard eyes trained on her phone. The clock on her phone told her that they had 15 minutes before dinner started.
“Mal, we have to get dressed.” Kelley half-whispered her voice deep from sleep. Mal’s eyes shot up from her phone and landed on Kelley. She smirked and took a picture of the couple sleeping on the bed. Mal teased them a lot but she adored Alex and Kelley together. She was glad that Kelley found someone who made her happy. She didn’t know it was possible for Kelley O'Hara to be happier than her usual state until she saw her with Alex.
“I get ready first, you get baby horse.” She said sliding off her bed and dancing into the bathroom on her tiptoes.
Alex woke up to Kelley trying to kiss every surface area of her face. She blindly swatted the girl away trying to get her sleep. “Lex you have to get up it’s dinner time.” Alex groaned and snuggled deeper into Kelley’s side hoping that if she shrinks enough Kelley won’t see her.
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@Malpugh: I’m third wheeling with a disgustingly cute couple.
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Kelley smiled and reached for her side tickling her. Alex thrashed the blankets off the bed struggling to breathe. “Oh my god, Kelley stop.” This caused Mal to stick her head out of the bathroom clearly disturbed.
Alex finally gave up and walked back to her own room so she could clean up for dinner. Kelley changed into ripped jeans and a Utah Royals hoodie before joining Mal to get ready in the bathroom. “Scootch over you take up all the space.” She shoved Mal’s makeup bag to her side of the sink. The younger girl stuck her tongue out at her in the mirror while trying not to poke her eyes out with her mascara. They danced and sang very off-key to some old school 2000s music while getting ready. Of course, they were the last ones down in the lobby because Kelley realized halfway in the elevator that she forgot her phone and ran back to get it. Dawn and Jill were already talking about where they were going. Kelley tapped Ashlyn on the shoulder, “What did I miss?” Ashlyn turned around, “We’re going to a BBQ diner and then we’re free to roam the city.”
They decided to walk to the diner since it was only a few blocks west of their hotel. Of course, Pinoe and Moe led the front of the ‘pack’ as they put it to make sure they didn’t get lost. Instead of getting there faster they took 10 minutes longer because Megan took a left when she should’ve taken a right. She just shrugged and blamed it on Moe. Kelley and Alex just walked in the back with Ali and Ashlyn enjoying the familiarness of the team together. Dinner was filled with laughter and stories just a family making up for lost time.
After dinner, a few of them decided to head to the Flats by the river where there were live music and outdoor bars. Alex and Kelley settled down by the river beer bottle in hand while the others went into the bars. They wanted to catch some much needed alone time. The yellow ball of fire changed to hues of orange, and then almost tangerine. It merged with the sky, like juice-mix dissolving in a glass of water. The clouds were cotton-candy, as though they blushed at the warm touch of the sun. It reminded Alex of the time she dragged Kelley out of bed at 4 in the morning to sit by the ocean and watch the sunrise. Kelley sits still and watches the water, lost in the rhythmic percussion of waves against the dock. Her eyes are trained to the horizon, face aglow with the last orange rays before twilight beckons the stars. Her lips bear the semblance of a smile, lost in thought. Alex moves closer and leans her head on her shoulders she stays quiet, allowing them to stay lost in the moment a while longer.
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China was on their best game the whole night through. By halftime, Kelley could feel the tension in the locker room. Alex, Mal, and Carli were playing up top and none of them seem to find the ball. Allie’s touches were heavy and she was often out of position in the midfield. The backline was a mess, to say the least, Becky was yelling almost every time they touched the ball. Kelley didn’t blame her, she didn’t understand what Jill was doing but there was nothing she could do about it. They didn’t need to listen to their coach to know what they had to do differently the second half. They were constantly finding themselves playing catch up when they should be one step ahead of China. They needed to get out of their heads and play their own game. They had gotten sloppy, gotten used to getting the win without much work. When they came out of the locker room for the second half the whole field changed. Every single person on the pitch was determined to win. It was like this switch just turned on and it seemed like every pass every shot was calculated with such precision. The game ended with a 2-0 win against China but the team was exhausted. Kelley was uncharacteristically quiet on the game bus back to the hotel, Alex knew to give her some space. The girl’s usually lively brown eyes were dull, Kelley always described it like a storm raging inside her head. Alex just reached over and intertwined their fingers together, a signal that she was there if she wanted to talk.
Kelley loves that Alex always seemed to know what to do to make her feel better. Over the years they have developed a six sense when it came to each other. Only Alex really knows that Kelley gets overwhelmed by life sometimes to the point where she shuts down. Not a lot of people have seen that side of the bright defender. They don’t see the discomfort that settles in her chest, a feeling in her brain like excess caffeine. They don’t see her constricted breathing, tears threatening to spill. They don’t see the mornings when she struggles to get out of bed because life just seems so exhausting sometimes. Everyone says that Athletes ‘don’t get mental health issues’ because they live so balanced, well that’s bullshit. Because they know well enough that anyone can struggle yes, even world cup winning world champions.
“Hey, come back to me.”
They were sitting legs crossed by the pool, a blanket stripped from their bed wrapped tightly around them. Alex had her arms wrapped around the other girl, her chin set on Kelley’s shoulder.
Kelley shifted around in Alex’s arms. “Sorry, tough game.” She sighed and leaned into her side savoring the warmth.
“I’m here to listen, I love you.” Alex pressed a light kiss to her shoulder. Kelley didn’t even know where to start with her frustrations. So she said them all at once; like all the words just fell out of her mouth at once.
“I’m just so mad Lex, mad at myself, mad at Jill. I’m mad at Jill because I want to trust her but I feel like she’s always fighting us. I’m frustrated because our backline is turning to shit and me and Becky are barely hanging on back there. I love Alyssa and Ash but I miss Hope’s voice back there. She helped me embrace playing defense and we always fought extra hard knowing she was back there. I wouldn’t be the player I am today without her, and now she’s just gone. I’m mad at myself for not being enough for anything, I made some really reckless tackles tonight and I was lucky that I didn’t foul or get carded. I feel like I let the team down, I let myself down, I let you down Alex. I’m sorry. Sorry I got in my head a little bit on the ride back here. I was just drowning.” Alex felt her heart break a little, she reached over a wiped the tears streaming down Kelley’s face.
“Hey, you could never let me down. I think you’re being too hard on yourself tonight. Yea, your tackles weren’t the best but we won Kelley and if you weren’t back there think about all the goals that they would’ve gotten. Take a breath babe, ok? Let yourself breathe.”
Kelley let out a breath and nodded, “Thank you, Al.”
“Let’s get some sleep, tomorrow’s a new day. Clean canvas.” They untangled themselves and walked back into the hotel.
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The first team to fly back on Sunday afternoon was Utah. Alex doesn’t think that she’ll ever get used to letting Kelley go. Of course, it was teary goodbyes with promises of visits and calls. After about 10 last kisses Kelley had to peel herself away or she would miss her flight. Ashlyn pulled Alex into the nearest coffee shop to distract her. She knew if she didn’t the forward would just sit in the sitting area moping around.
“So when are you going to put a ring on it?” Ashlyn’s question came out of nowhere. Alex almost choked on her steaming hot coffee. Ashlyn laughed at her friend and handed her a few napkins. Alex placed her cup down and wiped the coffee from the table. “I’m gonna wait ‘till we at least play in the same city.”
Long-distance really sucked sometimes. It definitely isn’t as glamorous as portrayed on tv. Long distance is waking up to a bed that felt cold and way too big. It’s pointing out something Kelley would laugh at only to find that she’s not there. Ever since they were best friends, Alex knew that she was going to marry Kelley one day. But how does a long distance engagement work? Do they really want to stress over planning a wedding while they’re across the country from each other?
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She watched it happen. Syd told her not to panic because instead of being carried off the field Kelley walked off. As soon as Kelley burst into tears she felt her heart shatter in her chest. Although the game was well fought by both sides, ended in a tie. Neither team managed to pull ahead and it was a disaster, to say the least. Alex played some of the second half but came off after a collision. Despite her protests that she was fine to go on, the trainers kept her sidelined. It was torturous for her to sit on the bench instead of helping her team.
Alex and Ali always try to stay as long as they can after the game to sign and meet every fan that came to watch them, tonight was no different. She knows that Women’s soccer wouldn’t be growing without the fans. They remind her of the reason why she started playing in the first place. The little girls wearing her name on their backs remind her of when she was in their place. Cheering on her idols wearing their jerseys. They remind her of the way that she fell in love with the game. It also scared her because it’s always been family and soccer for her, and now there’s Kelley. Kelley who she’s known since her first call-up to the national team. Kelley who she’s won gold medals and world cups with. Kelley who held her after they lost in Rio. That’s what was on her mind as she walked into the home team’s locker room to retrieve her stuff. She promised to do her recovery before strolling out with her bag into the parking lot.
There was a black figure leaning on the passenger side of her car. She squinted at the dark shadow double-taking at first.
“Kells?” Alex called out.
Kelley walked over (more like limped) and smiled offering to take Alex’s bag. Alex dropped her bag and wrapped her girlfriend up in a tight embrace. Kelley is gonna be ok. Kelley is gonna be ok.
“Baby, you scared me. I thought that you tore something.” Alex’s eyes were filled with fear, she pressed a small kiss to her shoulders and pulled back to put her stuff in the car.
“I know, I’m sorry they checked it out and it was only a strain. I just have to take it easy for at least a week. You ready to go home?” Kelley opened the car door and got in.
“So ready.”