Chapter Text
Changkyun wasn’t dumb. He knew things would be rocky after No Mercy. He just didn’t realize how bad it could get. Not only that, but life as a closeted-omega was difficult, even painful—he relied on dangerous suppressants and expensive scent blockers, faced ridicule from those who knew his dynamic status, and lacked the love and support he knew he needed (especially from his supposed pack).
He was miserable. His packmates (well they were supposed to be his packmates but they didn’t treat him like pack) were excessively affectionate with each other and he watched from the sidelines as they smiled. He had learned early on that approaching any of them would spark a nasty response, and he’d be left feeling worse than before.
This neglect and blatant hatred filled Changkyun with physical pain, a kind of bone deep ache when he moved and a sharp pain in his chest when he breathed.
He assumed that, because he was an omega, the entire ordeal affected him more than it might any other person.
This train of thought lead to a path of self-hatred he often traveled; he was an omega and he hated it—he hated the pain that it caused him, he hated what it meant for him, he hated that he couldn’t exist without feeling guilting for burdening his family.
Changkyun stared at himself in the mirror, sighing. He hardly recognized himself, taking in the sight of his own tired eyes, his limp hair, and sickly pale skin. He shook his head and looked down, ruffling through his toiletry bag for his suppressants and blockers.
Mind blank and wandering, he dry swallowed two suppressant pills (with the ease of someone who’s done an action time and time again) and carefully pasted the blockers on his shoulders, covered by his shirt. By now, he was on the last day of his heat and his scent would be less noticable, but he didn’t want to take any chances.
A pounding knock on the door made him jump, and hastily gathered his things as the pounding grew louder and swallowed the lump in his throat before opening the door.
Minhyuk’s angry grimace greeted him, and he almost choked on the smell of annoyed alpha as he ducked under his packmate's arm, head down and face to the floor as he fled down the hallway to his shared room.
He shrunk under Kihyun’s glare as he shoved his toiletry bag in his duffle (he hadn’t moved his stuff into drawers, they said it was okay to but the glares they shot him said otherwise) and then hurried into the kitchen.
“We’re leaving. C’mon”, Hyunwoo said curtly and swept passed him. At this point, Changkyun was used to this treatment and gave up on eating a full breakfast, opting to grab a granola bar and get in the van before they left him (they did that once and he cried so hard he puked).
When he entered the van he was shoved into the corner seat of the back row next to Jooheon. Throughout the ride he distracted himself from the almost painful urge to cuddle a fellow omega (instincts told him that he would be safe but he knew better) by pressing his head against the cold glass of the car window and holding back sobs. He hurt all over.
All too soon, they reached the company building and filed out of the car. The van door slammed close in Changkyun’s face before he could exit and he let out a frustrated whimper before finally getting out.
Because of the aforementioned set back, he arrived after the others and recieved angry glares from his packmates when he entered the practice room. “Have some respect for all of us who want to succeed. Stop wasting our time”, Hyunwoo said angrily and frowned at him. Changkun shuddered and shied away from the pack alpha as he got into position.
Hours passed, full of harsh jabs and piercing glares, and they finally ended practice covered in sweat and gasping for air. As his packmates sat on the floor to catch their breath, he rushed out of the room to the bathroom under the guise of filling up his water bottle to check that his blockers were still in place.
Once he reached the bathroom, he pulled the collar of his shirt to the side and sighed in relief, the patches were still there. He exhaled in relief but stiffened when the bathroom door slammed open an alpha trainee stepped in. Changkyun quickly moved to exit but the trainee cut into his path and pushed him.
His eyes widened in horror as his open water bottle splashed on the other man’s t-shirt. Immediately, the alpha started yelling and Changkyun cowered, “watch where you’re going you useless beta freak”. The yelling continued and Changkyun scrambled away and back into the practice room, breathing heavily and eyes dialated in fear.
“Hey, uh...Are you alright Changkyun?” Hyungwon asked hesitantly, unsure as to how he should approach the frantic boy but knowing something wrong. Changkyun nodded minutely and sighed. Today was not a good day.
Back at the dorm, the managers as well as some camera men sat them down in a circle in the living room. Changkyun’s heart slowly sank as the manager handed out letters and then proceeded to talk. “Today, you will read letters from your parents aloud. The fans are eager to learn more about you and we figured this would be a good way to go about it”. The color left his face. His parents. Please not his parents. He’d bet all his organs that this was going to be a scalding letter. He tore open the cream colored envelope. Black spots swam before his eyes.
“Changkyun, you go first, because you’re the youngest”. His heart caught in his throat. He couldn't. He wouldn't. He had to.
So, he let out a shuddering breath, unfolded his letter with shaking hands, and began to read:
Changkyun,
Your behavior and accomplishments thus far have been underwhelming to say the least. We are extremely disappointed in you. Considering how much trouble you put us through, presenting as an omega, and then proceeding to study music, you should be at least be performing better as a form of thanks. You are a failure. Because you have disappointed us when we gave you this chance, we demand half of your income as a form of compensation. Remember to buy more suppressants. Do not disappoint us again.
Mother & Father
The ink blurred as a tear hit the page and he looked up at the horrified faces of packmates and the staff.
He left the group in a hurry, stumbling into his room and locking the door behind him before collapsing onto the floor. The world got blurry and the pounding of footsteps down the hall felt like an earthquake but sounded as if it was underwater. Then, just like that, his world went dark.
The managers and cameramen filed out of the dorm awkwardly as the remaining members of Monsta X members looked at each other in silence.
“So he’s an omega,” Hyunwoo muttered.
“And his parents are huge assholes,” Minhyuk tacked on.
“And he’s on suppressants,” Hoseok added, a concerned frown plastered on the alpha’s usually joyful face.
“If he’s on suppressants, he’s probably using blockers too,” Hyungwon looked to Kihyun, who nodded in agreement.
They all turned to Jooheon who sat there with a look of abject horror, scent sour with fear. Then without warning, he scrambled off the couch and ran to the rooms and skidded to a stop in front of the door. Jooheon began pounding on it frantically.
“Kyunnie? Changkyun?” he said, panic creeping into his voice. “C’mon dude. Open the door! You’re scaring me,” Jooheon cried, his eyes wide, fist (now bruising) still pounded against the door. Hoseok took a deep breath and restrained Jooheon and moved him away, covering the rapper's eyes and cooing, trying to calm him.
Once they had managed to get Jooheon slightly calmer that asked what had bothered him so. “Changkyun probably just sleeping off the stress. You know he’s pretty chill about these things,” Hyunwoo told Jooheon.
“You’re wrong. It’s wrong. You don’t understand,” the baby faced man gasped. “What don’t we understand Heoni,” Hyungwon asked gently.
“He’s an omega, on suppressants, in severe emotional distress. He’s probably dropping,” Jooheon explained, frustrated with his bandmates’ ignorance.
He’s probably dropping . That statement hit the pack hard. Everyone, regardless of their dynamic, learned in sex-ed that when an omega dropped, it was not good . Dropping was an instinctual form of self preservation where an omega’s body shut down anything non vital in an attempt to protect it from either emotional or physical harm (sort of like playing dead). This left the omega in a comatose state, unable to care for its own needs. Love and safety, provided by trusted individuals, were the only way to bring an omega back up.
Changkyun was experiencing a drop. Fuck.
Immediately, the rest of the pack (aside from Hoseok who was trying to calm an indisposed Jooheon) sprung into action. Hyungwon picked the lock with a safety pin and Minhyuk (gently) shoved him aside to enter the room. The others looked over his shoulder and what they saw made their blood run cold.
Changkyun had indeed dropped. He was lying on the floor, breathing shallow, eyes half open and glazed over. He looked too small.
Minhyuk and Kihyun rushed forward first. Kihyun moved Changkyun’s head into his lap and began to caress the boy’s hair while Minhyuk used steady hands to make sure Changkyun hadn't sustained any injuries when he had collapsed.
When Minhyuk finished checking over Changkyun, Hyunwoo gathered the boy into his arms and began moving towards the nest he’d ordered Hyungwon, Hoseok, and Jooheon to construct while they were helping Changkyun.
He set the boy down in the pillows and soft blankets as the rest of the pack filed in and surrounded Changkyun. The room filled with a myriad of scents, all belonging to the pack, as they waited for their maknae to wake up.
Changkyun came to slowly, his body feeling as though it was filled with lead. A warm washcloth moved across his face and he murmured, just to let someone know he was awake.
“Glad you’re back, Kyunnie,” Minhyuk cooed softly and entered Changkyun’s line of vision. The younger boy whined and the alpha hushed him softly, putting a gentle hand on the nape of the omega’s neck. This action had Changkyun melting and his packmates, who were spread out around him sighed in relief.
Changkyun turned his head to each of his brothers and smiled tiredly. It would take a long time to totally recover from all that he went through; he acknowledged that fully. However, he knew that with his packmates by his side, everything would be much easier.