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Hannah crossed her arms and stared down at Balthazar. “What did you do this time?”
“Does it matter?” Balthazar groaned and tried to shift to a more comfortable position. “I’m suffering here, darling, and you’re a healer. Heal me. You know I can pay for it.”
“That’s not the problem, darling,” Hannah snapped. “I’m not worried about payment. I’m worried about you! I am so sick of you coming in here with too much mead, or too much of some other herb, or too much testosterone and not enough blood. Okay? So what. Happened. This. Time.”
Balthazar didn’t even have the grace to look ashamed. “I was drinking, and then there was this weed, and I remember there was a menage a… what’s French for twelve?”
Hannah rolled her eyes. “Must’ve been a very exciting pile, to leave that kind of bruising.”
Now Balthazar did look a little ashamed. “No, that’s from the fight that meant I had to leave the pile. I won, for the record.”
“Fight.” Of course there was a fight that Balthazar wouldn’t want to mention. He was going to be the death of her. “What was so important that it was worth the bruising and the loss of sexual adventures?”
Balthazar sat up as Hannah started rubbing a salve into his bruises. “Hey, just because you’re not adventurous doesn’t mean you should judge those of us who are!”
“I’m not judging you for enjoying your menage a whatever. I’m judging you for leaving it to get in a fight! What were you fighting over?”
“Oh, well, that may be, um… you don’t want to know?” Balthazar gave Hannah a hopeful smile.
“If you don’t tell me, I’m just going to invent a ridiculous story. You got into a fight because you couldn’t get it up for your sex pile or something like that.”
It worked, as Balthazar sat up straighter. “As my doctor and my girlfriend, you know perfectly well that I am in excellent health and have absolutely no potency issues!”
“Then what was the fight really about? Because, knowing that you’re in excellent health and have had no previous potency issues, I may have to do some thorough – and invasive – exams.”
“That has to be some kind of violation of the Hippocratic oath.”
“I’m not a fancy university doctor. They’re the ones who take those oaths. I’m a hedge witch village healer. We do whatever we need to attend to our patients’ health.”
Balthazar sighed and dropped his head. “You asked for it, then. This is what happens when I decide that kicking the shit out of Malachi for what he said about our Castiel is more important than the sex pile.”
“Dammit.” Hannah finished doing what she could for Balthazar. “You won, right?”
“Course I won, our Cassie’s honor was on the line! I don’t know why so many people around here are so quick to hate on him. Those monsters he’s out fighting with Gabriel would be here with or without him having been followed home from his trip to the city, and even though it’s not his fault at all, he feels responsible enough that he’s out there laying his ass on the line to fight them back. More than I can say for Malachi, who just wants to be a little bitch about everything.”
“You don’t need to preach it to me. I’m behind Castiel all the way and you know it.”
“Except when he’s behind you…” Balthazar waggled his eyebrows.
Hannah glared. “Don’t make me regret patching you up, Balthazar. Was someone able to get Malachi home, or do I have to go haul him off the street?”
“Theo was there. Theo could handle getting him home. Theo probably even got Ephraim or someone to come over and patch him up. Why Theo sticks with Malachi, I haven’t a clue.”
“Pity. Theo thinks Malachi is insane and needs someone to look after him.” Hannah put away her tools and sat beside Balthazar, leaning on his shoulder. “Do I want to know what he said about Castiel?”
“No… he did have a couple choice things to say about Gabriel, too. Which I’ll be reporting once our boyfriends come back to the village.”
“Uhoh. If it’s bad enough you’re tattling to Gabriel…”
“Well, you know how much Gabe loves being compared to his brothers in any way,” Balthazar said. “Malachi somehow thought it would be a good decision to tell Gabe’s boyfriend, who is already pissed off at him for what he said about his best friend, that this village would be better off if we’d been given to Lucifer instead of Gabriel when Chuck divided up his lands among his sons.”
“Well. You sure you trust Gabriel not to overreact?”
“Not in the least. On the other hand, I really think the village would be better off without Malachi, if he’s going to be spreading those kinds of sentiments, so if Gabe does overreact…” Balthazar shrugged. “Nothing of value will be lost? Maybe if Theo goes with him, but that won’t be Gabe’s fault.”
“If you say so.” Hannah stroked Balthazar’s hair. “Lie back down, get some sleep.”
“You gonna stay with me?”
“Well, this is my bed. Come on.” Hannah gently pushed Balthazar’s shoulder until he was lying on the bed, and then curled up beside him. “Sleep, baby.”