Work Text:
Pikit mata, nagtatanong
Ng sagot sa bakit
Pikit mata, lumuluha
Di maintindihan, puno ng pait
(Eyes closed, asking
An answer to why
Eyes closed, crying
Can't understand, full of bitterness)
A knock shatters the sound of her cries. Footsteps trudged closer to the door. As the door creaks open, her face contorts in a mix of shock, confusion, relief and pain.
“Yuzu!? What are you doi-”
He didn't let her finish as he hugged her tight, pouring all of his emotions for her in one single hug. He seems to not care about anything, not even his bag full of clothes that lay abandoned on her floor. Tonight, he only have eyes for her. Meanwhile, she's not exactly sure of what she's feeling. Should she be happy? Should she push him away? Should she cherish this moment? It might be the last.
“You've been crying again.”
“H-Huh?”
“Let me wipe those tears for you…”
He erased her tears through his lips. He kissed her eyes, her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, her chin. But when he came to her lips, he gave it his whole heart and soul. That's his goal after all, to heal her with his love.
Parang walang nakikinig
Diyan ka nagkakamali
(Seems no one's listening
That's where you're wrong)
They sat in the sofa in complete silence. She had finally calmed down but he didn't let go of her hand, not even once.
“Why were you crying? Hey, look at me. Why?”
She tried to avoid his gaze but he made sure that she looked at him straight in the eye. He wants to see all of her, her thoughts and her fears, through her eyes. Her eyes is the reason why he fell in love with her. Her eyes conveys something that he can't fully explain. And most importantly, it does not lie.
“Nothing. It's just…”
Tears started to fall once again from her eyes. He finally saw what she's going through, for her eyes are filled with sadness, dread and uncertainty.
“I feel so alone…”
Lapit sa akin at wag matakot ka
Papawiin ang luha, ulan ay titila na
Kahit sabihin mo na di na kaya
Araw ay sisikat, may bagong liwanag
Di ka nag-iisa
(Come closer to me and don't be afraid
I'll erase the tears, the rain will finally stop
Even if you say you can't go on
The sun will shine, there'll be new light
You are not alone)
“I feel so alone…”
What she said is what he's been fearing to hear. She's been so afraid and so withdrawn that she's failing to see how loved she is, from fans to family and friends alike.
“And it's not that I don't feel like I'm not loved. Far from it. It's just that whenever someone is starting to get closer to me I start to enclose myself and push them away. Because I feel like they're gonna leave me hanging like what my father did. That's what I did, to relatives, to friends… to you.”
Her confession shocked the young man. This is the part of her story that he didn't know of.
“T-The real p-problem, it's me…”
And now that he knows this, he will do everything in his power to make her believe in love again.
Naghahanap, naghihintay
O sa mundo na lang kaya sumabay?
Nangingimi na sumuko na
Di makita, san bang pag-asa?
(Finding, waiting
Oh, should I just go with the world's flow?
I'm scared of giving up
But I can't see, where's hope?)
“It's my fault! I should be the one to blame! I-I’m sorry if I have h-hurt you, Yuzu! My life is so chaotic I j-just want you out of it not only b-because I'm scared you'd run a-away too but also because I d-don’t want you to be trapped in this c-crazy life of mine.”
This is the biggest shock he had for tonight that left a bittersweet feeling in him. She loved him so much to the point that she's willing to sacrifice their relationship for what she thinks is the best for him. But he wouldn't take this. She doesn't deserve to bear all of this struggles alone.
“Zhenya, listen to me.”
“No, Yuzu. You don't understand! I don't deserve yo-”
“Evgenia, listen!”
His firm voice finally made her stop and focus on him. She looked up at him like a little child awaiting of a scolding. But instead of doing that he caressed her face and kissed her forehead lovingly before speaking to her gently.
“Zhenya, you have done nothing wrong. And I understand why you feel that way. But when I asked you to be my girlfriend and you said yes back then, I embraced the fact that I have to accept all of you, and that includes even your flaws. I know you're not perfect, far from it, and I am willing to love all of those imperfections. But what I won't have is your self-pity because you're so much better than that.”
She looked down, feeling embarrassed and quite unsure about what he said. Should she let all her walls down for him? Should she give him a chance again? He gently lift her chin and made her look at him again and now she knows that she doesn't have a choice.
“Please let me in your heart again, Zhenya.”
And as they kiss for the second time this evening, the young man finally got his answer for he hasn't ever been out of her heart.
Parang walang nakikinig
Diyan ka nagkakamali
(Seems no one's listening
That's where you're wrong)
The weight of their stares is enough to make each other melt. He has become her anchor and she became his light. And when he carried her to her room, she felt like he also lifted all of her troubles away. That's why she just let him do what he wants. She knows she's safe.
Lapit sa akin at wag matakot ka
Papawiin ang luha, ulan ay titila na
Kahit sabihin mo na di na kaya
Araw ay sisikat, may bagong liwanag
Di ka nag-iisa
(Come closer to me and don't be afraid
I'll erase the tears, the rain will finally stop
Even if you say you can't go on
The sun will shine, there'll be new light
You are not alone)
She briefly passed out after their activities. There's an unexplainable warmth blooming in his heart as he stares at her peaceful face. He stared at her silently for a while until her long, beautiful lashes fluttered and her eyes opened slowly and gradually focused before widening upon realization of what happened.
“Zhenya, are you okay? Did I… hurt you?”
She shook her head as an answer and buried her face on his naked chest. Her body feels stiff and she looks startled which made him a little worried.
“Then what's wrong?”
He suddenly felt wet streaks on his chest. Why is she suddenly crying?
“Zhenya?”
When she finally met his gaze she saw an unmistakable trace of fear in her eyes. But this time, it is much greater than her fears earlier.
“You won't leave me, right?”
With that question, he finally understood why. She has given him something precious. She gave him everything. And she's afraid that after giving her all, it still might not be enough. He produced a calming smile and wiped her tears while conveying assurance through his eyes.
“No, I won't. I understand that you feel scared. When you're not sure it is normal to be afraid. I am just like you. Falling in love without assurance is indeed scary. But when I met you, it's much frightening not to love. I don't need assurance, just your presence beside me is enough. I'll take a dim future with you than a bright future without you.”
A new morning is awaiting them, more challenges and walls will be on their way. But that is for another day for tonight as they once again complete each other, as they give each other their all, it's the last thing on their minds.
Problema’y parang ulan na walang katapusan
Di makita kung sa’n sisilong
At sa hakbang merong dilim na laging nandiyan
Di makita kung sa’n tutungo
Parang walang nakikinig
Diyan ka nagkakamali
(Problems are like rain that doesn't have an end
Can't see where to take shelter
And in every way there's darkness always lurking
Can't see where to go
Seems no one's listening
That's where you're wrong)
Rays of sunlight enters through the window’s thin curtains. The light awakens the young woman in her slumber. She opened her eyes feeling surprisingly refreshed. But when she looked on her right she remembered the reason of her brilliant mood. His angelic face remained peacefully asleep, seemingly unaware of the world's unfairness and grief just like a child. He's really her angel. If not for him she will still be the same. But his love transformed her cold heart into an adoring one once again. No words can express how thankful she is that he came into her life at the right place and time. She softly brushed his hair away from his eyes and kissed his forehead fondly.
“I love you so much, Yuzuru.”
She snuggled back to his warmth, in his embrace where she will always be loved and protected.
Lapit sa akin at wag matakot ka
Papawiin ang luha, ulan ay titila na
Kahit sabihin mo na di na kaya
Araw ay sisikat may bagong liwanag
Di ka nag-iisa
(Come closer to me and don't be afraid
I'll erase the tears, the rain will finally stop
Even if you say you can't go on
The sun will shine, there'll be new light
You are not alone)
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Omake
But apparently, not all days are meant to be cuddle days as evidenced by my growling stomach. I'm starving! And probably Yuzu will be hungry too once he wakes up since he took up a lot of energy yesterday. But as I sat down at the side of the bed I think the food has got to wait.
“Well, it can't be helped. Gotta clear this mess called clothes off my floor first.”