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"Get out!" Alexander yelled.
Hephaistion didn’t move, locking eyes with Alexander and tempering his refusal with respect. "You know it’s true, Alexander."
"Get out!" Alexander yelled again, and stormed over to Hephaistion to remove him forcibly. Hephaistion braced for Alexander’s attack and was hardly moved with the impact of Alexander’s body into his own.
Hephaistion raised his arms and, with perfect timing, brought them down to hug Alexander. "I’m not leaving. You don’t want me to."
Alexander rounded his back and slipped out of Hephaistion’s embrace. "I do. You disrespect me – get out! I don’t want you here."
"Alexander," Hephaistion called, his hand reaching out to his king.
"No," Alexander pouted.
"Alexander," Hephaistion repeated. "Alexander."
Alexander’s anger was fading; Hephaistion could see it crumbling behind Alexander’s troubled eyes.
"Alexander," Hephaistion whispered.
Alexander turned his back on Hephaistion, and wiped his hands over his face. "You shouldn’t disrespect me like that, Hephaistion."
Hephaistion stepped behind Alexander, resting his head on Alexander’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around Alexander’s crossed ones.
"Has it been so long that you’ve forgotten who I am?"
Alexander wilted forward over Hephaistion’s arms. "I’ve missed you."
Hephaistion squeezed Alexander’s ribs in response.
"You’ll never leave me when I’m angry?"
"Alexander," Hephaistion warned.
"You use my name like a weapon."
"A tool. I’d never harm you."
Alexander went limp, pulling Hephaistion forward with the sudden weight in his arms. He braced himself and held on, slowly lowering Alexander to the floor. He sat down behind Alexander, circling him with his arms and legs, pulling Alexander back against his chest.
"Alexander," he intoned softly.
"Had I really forgotten?" Alexander asked, staring down at his hands.
"It’s been months. You’ve had other things to attend to."
"So have you."
Hephaistion laughed. "The servant never forgets his place."
Alexander looked over his shoulder. "You are not a servant."
"I am. A willing one. I have a duty, and I know how to fulfill it."
Alexander squirmed and wriggled, turning himself around within Hephaistion’s embrace.
"You are Alexander."
Yes, thought Hephaistion. But you are not Hephaistion. He smiled down at Alexander. Above all, he needed to be loved, and Hephaistion knew better than any other how to do that.
Hephaistion placed both hands on Alexander’s face and kissed him, small chaste kisses on his eyes and nose, one on his lips, and then on each corner of his mouth. Hephaistion’s hands slid down Alexander’s neck and his thumbs stayed just under his jaw to maneuver his head so Hephaistion could place little kisses along his jawbone. Alexander sighed in approval and Hephaistion quickly covered Alexander’s open mouth with his own, reminding Alexander exactly who he was.
Hephaistion pulled back and slid his hand down Alexander’s neck. Alexander smiled at him sadly, still bearing some demon.
"What is it, Alexander?"
Alexander stared into Hephaistion’s eyes, and Hephaistion nodded. He stood, taking Alexander’s hands and pulling him to his feet. Hephaistion led him to the bed and undressed him much as Bagoas would have if Alexander hadn’t dismissed him when they had started quarrelling.
Hephaistion set Alexander on the bed, pushing him back into the pillows. Alexander suddenly looked tired, or old. Hephaistion quickly undressed and climbed in beside him, pulling him close. He took Alexander’s uppermost thigh between his own, entwining their legs and pressing their opposite hipbones together. He slid his hands over Alexander’s shoulders and down his back, twisting their bodies gently until he was on his back and Alexander on his side, resting with his head on Hephaistion’s chest.
Alexander hugged him tightly then, kissing his chest and softly weeping. Hephaistion stroked his back reassuringly and whispered his name into his hair. After some time, Alexander’s breathing settled into a light rhythm, almost as if he was skimming the surface of the air instead of breathing.
Hephaistion translated the weight of Alexander’s loneliness through his tears. He felt them fall on his skin and dry there, where he knew they would wash away in the morning. Until then, he savored taking Alexander’s burden as his own, and it was long before slept.