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You, Jerome and a collection of your friends had decided to go out for dinner. After a long day of walking the convention floor and meeting fans you were nothing if not ready to sit down to a meal with your friends. but you hadn’t considered the people present until you saw him, sat just a seat down from Jerome. You hadn't seen Adam in years and yet all too old emotions bubbled to the surface. The two of you had claimed that you were on good terms again, but truth be told you had barely even spoken since then. Then, god, back then you were barely adults. Just teenagers making normal mistakes with catastrophic consequences.
But despite everything you still fondly felt the sense of belonging you had always felt with him. Suddenly moments came when you found yourself looking just a little too long and just paying a bit too much attention to him. Despite how much the two of you had changed, in minutes he managed to worm himself all the way back into you.
At some point you became distracted in a conversation with Jerome and suddenly when you turned back to look at Adam, he was gone. You brushed it off at first, he had probably just gone to the bathroom. But after a few minutes had passed you looked around the room in search of him, to find a similar silhouette leaning on the railing outside on the patio. Despite your better judgement you went out after him.
“You alright?” he flinched, caught off guard.
“Yeah, I just needed a breather. Its kinda stuffy in there.” he explained, turning to face you.
“Alright well I just thought I should-”
“Mitch?”
“Yeah?”
“Uh- no, nevermind.” he says clearly rethinking his choice.
“Yeah that sounds like some bullshit.” you remark. “Somethings wrong.”
“I just wanted to ask you something stupid, forget about it.” you lean against the railing with him.
“Alright, spill it.” Adam paused,
“
“Back then... when we at least used to be friends. There was something about you, something so good and so wonderful. Something that just dragged me in and never let go. I wanted so desperately to… to love you and have that love returned.”
You remained silent.
“Mitch I-” he stops for a moment. “But I knew better. I knew you couldn't possibly do that. It- It just isn't you. I tried so hard to move on and change. I tried so hard to get my mind off you and all it ever did was hurt me.” He clenches his fist, like something uncertain but definitely painful bubbles to the surface in his mind.
You place a hand on the white knuckled appendage.
“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said any of that. I just…” He trails off.
“What?”
“I just wanted you to tell me it's true. I wanna know for sure I'm right.”
“Even if I'd be lying.” You flash a sad smile.
He looks at you with- what even is it? He looks confused, maybe even astonished? Whatever it is he's clearly waiting for more.
“Wouldn't you rather hear you were wrong. rather hear that I was fighting myself the whole time, about you.”
“You- you can't be serious.”
You nod, but neither of you can break the growing silence. Adam looks at you, trying to find any hint of a lie on your face. Only to find finds someone just as sympathetic and sad, who feels just as stupid as he does.
Tears form in his eyes, glistening as he stares at you. You feel on the edge of tears yourself. This moment feels like too much, so overwhelming and yet neither of you want to escape it. Discontent at the years of avoidance and pasifisity.
You raise your hand to wipe away a tear from Adams face and all at once he pulls you into himself. As if to confirm that you are very much real and that everything you said is equally real. But once the moment passes he lets go of you just a quickly and rubs at the back of his head.
“Sorry” he says quietly. Not a second before Jerome pops his head out of the door.
“You guys coming back in or what? It’s freaking cold out here.” Jerome asks. You try to reply but Adam beats you to it.
“Yeah yeah, we’re coming buddy.”
The next morning you awake to a buzz from the nightstand.
“Noooo, it's too cold.” you mumble, burying yourself further in the covers. You lay there for a while before finally reaching out to check your phone. It’s a message from Adam.