Chapter Text
I saw it happen.
It was late. They had probably assumed everyone would have been asleep by now. But the pain induced by Grelod's beatings had kept me awake. I'd been here since I was a baby. You'd think I would have gotten used to it by now. But it just seems like every time she pulls me into that room and puts me in the shackles she just finds some way to make it worse than all those times before.
I think I knew what was happening. It's hard to remember. But I know I saw them. I heard them first. Their footsteps were quiet, but the building was old and the floorboards creaked as you walked on them. I saw a glimpse of them in the light from the fireplace. They looked young; younger than me. I thought they were another orphan, but none of us would be so stupid as to sneak out. And if we did, we wouldn't walk into Grelod's room.
They stayed in there for a while. Neither of them made a sound. I thought I had imagined it, but soon enough they walked back out, the floor not creaking as much as before.
But then they stopped. At the end of my bed they stopped and turned to look at me. They smiled, showing off her teeth. Blood shimmered in the light. They seemed to relish in the fact.
They only stayed for a few seconds before they was gone, and I was left staring in the place were they had stood. I think I stayed up the entire night, just staring there. It was only a few more hours until Constance went into Grelod's room and found her dead, with two holes in her neck.
--
We stayed outside for most of the day – me and the rest of the orphans. The guards took us inside one by one to ask us if we saw anything. But they didn't press to hard, lucky for me. They all pity us. Everyone in this damn town pitys us.
Oh! the poor little orphans that nobody wants but that bitter old hag. Oh, but let's not do anything. She'll be dead soon enough.
But of course they've been saying that since I got here.
14 years ago.
At least they were right. She did die. Took the Dread Lord Sithis to do it, but she died. And now us orphans are free to run around Riften like good little boys and girls, making deals with thieves, swimming through the infested river, dreaming towards a life of work for Maven Black-briar. Oh! what the life!
Lot's of those people came by today. None of them came into the courtyard to see us, but as the orphans came back out from talking with the guards they would share the news of whoever came by.
I was the last to talk to the guards. They wanted to talk to the youngest first in case they were in shock or whatnot. Hroar wasn't, of course. Come on. He was named after a lion. Somebody like that get scared over a little assassin? And Runa would've been too cautious to show if she was shaken. She had probably even asked the guards to adopt her.
But I wasn't a lion and I wasn't cute and adoptable, I was a pain in the ass who would be shipped off to who-knows-where in a years time. And that was the only thing I had to go on, so that was what I went with.
“You’re Sceles, correct?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you see anyone enter or leave the orphanage last night?”
“No.”
“Have you had any contact with Aventus Aretino since he left the orphanage?”
“No.”
“You may go wait outside.”
When I went back out the rest of the children were crowded around the tree. Samuel had climbed up it and was attempting to get onto the wall.
“You should get down,” I said. “The guards will be done soon – you don't want Constance seeing you.”
“I've been waiting forever to try this, and now I get the chance and you want me to get down?”
“Basically.”
He jumped down and walked over to me. He had several inches on me, despite our ages. “Happy?” he asked. I smiled in response.
He went over to the wall and gripped onto the spikes, kicking himself up to look over.
I leaned against the wall. “See anything interesting?”
“Bolli's giving some speech; about charity, I presume.”
“If only we were close enough to hear it.” That earned a chuckle from Samuel. He didn't laugh much – none of us did – so it was always nice when he did. Grelod's death seems to have uplifted all of us.
Quite depressing, that little fact, actually.
--
Everything's been fairly calm in the past few days. Constance has been having little difficulty adjusting in taking over Grelod's position and the guards haven't been back to talk to us. Everyone's been happier, too. The younger kids have actually been playing when we're let outside the orphanage – although we're still not allowed into Riften, which comes as a slight annoyance to most of us.
Mainly Samuel.
Okay only him.
No one else really cares.
I do slightly.
He's been trying to find a way over the fence without piercing himself ever since Grelod died. Every time we would be let out he would just stare at the wall, occasionally try to pull himself over.
He's too stubborn about it.
--
“Sceles,” Constance called from dining area. “Come here?”
“What is it?” I asked as I put down my broom and walked over to her.
“I need to go out.” She talked as if ashamed to be heard. “We're low on food and I need to get more. Can you look after everyone until I get back?”
“I could go out for you. I mean,” I added quickly. “if you'd like.”
“I don't think that would be a good idea, Sceles. I shouldn't –“
“I've never left the orphanage. Not once, in 17 years. I'll be old enough to leave soon and the only time I've ever seen outside is in that puny, little fenced in area. I'll go and get what you need and come straight back. No lollygagging.”
She stared at me, mumbling with her words. “I just, just, just go there and get back. Do you know where to go? Right, sorry. Come here.”
She led me to the door and pointed to where I was to go. I couldn’t bring myself to listen to her directions. The city just looked so amazing from here.
I could see the entrance to Mistveil Keep. There was a single guard patrolling in front of it, but I could see others in the city from where I stood. I could only tell what the building was because Sam once payed a traveler in Grelod’s stolen jewelry to describe to city. He’s gotten twice the beatings for the rest of his childhood, but he always said it was worth it.
The entire path was wooden -- something I found hard to believe when Sam passed the traveler’s words onto me -- and there was a slanted wooden path leading to underneath the city. There was a river flowing down there, splitting the city in two from what I could see. Bridges stretched over the water to connect to the other side of the city.
Past these bridges stood a circle of venders indented into the ground, all facing a stone well. I recognized the vendors’ voices from when we went out to the courtyard. I couldn’t see them from where I stood but I could hear them talking to potential customers. I’ve heard all of their voices before, but it seemed different now.
The city looked nicer than I had imagined. Maybe I’ve just imagined it to be worse because of what everyone says. Everyone being Grelod.
Constance had stopped talking, not that I was listening, to argue with Samuel. He had heard the door open and wanted to come with me.
“Why can’t I go with him?”
“You’re not old enough.”
“I’ve seen kids half my age out their as chores. And I’m asking to do this”
That was a lie. We’ve never seen kids out there.
“It doesn’t matter. You’re not going out.”
“Hey everyone,” he called to the younger orphans. “Looks like Grelod is back.”
I don’t think I’ve seen Constance angry. She always had a certain level of sympathy for us. I guess she had no need to now.
“You are not going. Now go back in the other room, where you will wait until you are 16. Then you may leave.”
I don’t think he knew how to act. He just stood there, a turtle in his shell. I tapped him on his arm to get him to move. He did without question.
Constance handed me the septons and just told me to go, reminding me quickly what it was I was supposed to get.
I had planned on spending some extra time out, just to talk to the merchants and the buyers, look at the wears, but I went straight to the stand and back.
My first time out of the orphanage wasn’t as exciting as I had expected.
--
I’m actually really scared, though I won’t let it show. I want Constance to be able to tell my future parents how strong I was when this happened. All the older boys make fun of how much I want to get adopted. It’s fine. I know I worry too much. I just don’t want to be stuck here. Maybe it will be better now that Constance is in charge.
--
I’m really glad I have my name. It reminds me off my mom. I got kinda nervous earlier, when Samuel said Grelod is back. But then I remembered my mom and bam! I wasn’t scared anymore. I miss her. I wonder what would've happened if she hadn't left.
--
I wonder if my parents will return now that Grelod’s gone.
--
Constance let us go into the courtyard tonight, for several hours more than we used to be able to. Hroar and Runa had gone in a while ago out of tiredness, and Francois a little after that. I would stay out all night if I could. I might even.
We were leaning up against the orphanage talking. Sceles and I were always able to hold a conversation with only a few of our thought. We can always just fill in the blank. I think it comes from hiding our conversations from Grelod. It just sort of became a habit.
“Constance wasn’t even that angry.” I just never expected it. How would I? She has never yelled at any of us.
“Yeah.” You had a right to be shocked. I was, too.
“I guess we were all kinda shaken.” Nobody wants to show it. It’s the mindset you get into at an orphanage. Weakness means no adoption.
“It’s harder for her, since she has to stay strong for us.” We have to stay strong, too, just not as much. She has to stay strong for all of us in the orphanage plus some in the city. We only have the younger kids.
“You wouldn’t think we’d be this affected.” We’ve all been waiting for it since we got here.
“We didn’t expect for it to happen.” I don’t even know if we wanted it to.
“No, I don’t think any of us did.”
We stayed quiet for a while after that. Sceles seemed like he was thinking about something. I don’t know if I was.
He stood up after a while and motioned for me to come in. I followed.
He never would have let me stay out.