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Hugging isn't that bad

Summary:

Y/n is a sort of emotional support for the Avengers, willing to hug, chat or just sit with members of the team, doing anything to help them relax and be comfortable, but she doesn't normally give out secret cuddle sessions to just anybody. Until she meets Bucky Barnes.

Work Text:

- Okay Bucky would not touch anyone unless it was for a handshake (you know to still be respectful) but you are the cuddly one on the team and you have to hug/cuddle EVERYONE. So you give Bucky secret cuddle sessions to make him feel better. So whenever he's overwhelmed he hugs you, truth be told he likes holding you because it makes him feel like you're safe.

 

“Alright everyone, line up! It’s routine hug time!”

Y/n grinned as everyone grumbled playfully (Except for Steve, Thor and Wanda, who enjoyed Y/n’s hugs and generally look forward to it). Y/n had a tradition of giving hugs to the whole team before a mission, a way of giving herself comfort as well as the others.

Tony was first, his eyes rolling in a vigorous eye roll, but he tried to bite back a smile as he wrapped his arms around Y/n’s body quickly – Y/n’s arms were wrapped around his waist and her chin resting on his shoulder – then pulled back, chuckling as he pulled away. “Alright, alright, enough of that emotions stuff”

Y/n sniggered then moved onto Thor, who enthusiastically pulled her into his embrace, making Y/n laugh loudly as he pulled her off her feet.

“Alright, big guy, put me down now” Y/n patted his back, and he looked sad as he put her down.

“I will miss hugging you, Lady Y/n” Thor said sadly, but Y/n chuckled.

“Hey, you’ll be back in no time, and you can hug me again when you come back”

Thor broke into a grin, and Y/n moved on to try and wrangle a hug out of Natasha. You see, Y/n was like the Avenger’s emotional support. She was there if people wanted to talk, hang out with or just to sit with. Originally, she had been Tony’s friend, one of his only normal ones that didn’t work with him or for him, and he brought her in to talk with Steve, who had only been out of his icy coma for a few months. After that, she had hung out with the Avengers even more, and started the tradition of giving hugs to the Avengers before missions.

Y/n worked her way through the rest of the team after getting a hug from Natasha, moving through Wanda and Pietro (only Wanda was obviously enthusiastic – Pietro acted nonchalant, a bit like Tony), then Sam, who gave her a warm hug, and she gave Vision a tentative hug, who gingerly wrapped his arms around her, gave her back a gentle pat, then pulled away, floating over to Wanda who subconsciously threaded her fingers through his own, including him in the conversation she was having with her brother.

Y/n turned to Steve, who wrapped her in a warm embrace, his embrace soft and welcoming, his large body and muscles acting like a large blanket. Y/n grinned up at Steve as she pulled back from him, and she turned to the last member of the Avengers, Bucky Barnes, who used to be the Winter Soldier. She was smiling, but her smile faltered as she took in the tenseness of his body as he half hid behind Steve, his shoulders stiff and his lips set in a straight line, his eyes wary as he watched her.

“Hey” she said carefully, taking a step towards him, frowning slightly as she saw him start to take a step back, but stopped himself. “It’s alright.” She paused. “Here”

Instead of pulling him into a hug, she held out her hand for a handshake. Bucky eyed her hand cautiously, confusion replacing the wariness on his face. Steve shifted and nudged Bucky’s shoulder with his own, looking purposefully down at Y/n’s hand, so Bucky slowly extended his right hand, carefully enveloping Y/n’s smaller hand with his large one and shook her hand.

Y/n grinned, and almost like it was infectious, a small smile appeared on Bucky’s face as well.

“Thank you, James” she said pointedly, and Bucky stiffened slightly before nodding. “Good luck”

And with that, she pulled her hand from his own, which fell back to his side, and walked out of the room.

 

………….

 

Bucky was surprised when he was checking his uniform and weapons that he had brought on the plane with him that was heading towards the location of the mission and he found a note tucked into the side pocket of his small luggage bag of spare clothes.

 

“Hey James, I noticed that you were pretty wary of me when I was giving hugs this morning, and I figured you were scared of touching people. I don’t want you to be scared. So, when you come back after your mission, come by after dinner I can give you a secret cuddle lesson? Or just chat about it? Think about it.

- Y/n”

 

Bucky’s lips tweaked up into a smile, and tucked the note into an inner pocket of his uniform, before Steve called him over to talk over the mission.

 

……….

 

Y/n was sitting on her bed, a book in her hands when she heard a soft knock on her door. She straightened, and FRIDAY, without prompting, pulled up the security camera footage that showed the area outside her bedroom door, and saw that Bucky Barnes was standing outside the door, wearing a large grey hoodie and black sweatpants, his feet bare as his long hair swept over his face, and his shoulders remained hunched. Y/n knew that the team had arrived two hours ago, and since it wasn’t a bad mission, just an intel grab from an empty base, she left them alone. And since Bucky was here, he must have found her note which she had slipped into his bag.

“Come in” she called out, and it was a couple of seconds before the door was pushed open and revealed Bucky, who was looking like a lost puppy as he shuffled on his feet in the doorway.

“Hey, James” Y/n said cheerfully, sitting up and sitting cross-legged on her bed, setting the book down beside her.

“Hello” he said quietly, looking up at her through his hair.

“Do you want to come in?”

Bucky hesitated before nodding gingerly, and he took a few step forwards and closed the door behind him, looking back at Y/n through his hair which he shook out of his face, only for it to fall back. “I –uh, got your note”

“Yeah?” Y/n straightened and looked worriedly at Bucky. “And what do you think?”

“I – “ Bucky choked on his words, and coughed to clear his throat. “I would – like to try”

Y/n sent him a soft smile and patted the bed space beside her, which was large enough that she only took up one half of it. Bucky glanced from her face to the bed spread next to her, and hesitated.

“Hey, it’s alright, James” Y/n said softly. “Do you want me to get off the bed and come back on after you?”

Bucky nodded his head hesitantly, and Y/n nodded in understanding. She slipped off the bed, placing her book on the bedside table and stood by the wall, far enough from Bucky and the bed that Bucky relaxed a little bit. He took a step forward, looking back to her to check that it was alright, and she nodded encouragingly. He nodded to himself, and cautiously settled on the side of the bed that Y/n had indicated, his muscles tense as he folds his legs under him and carefully sits against the headboard.

Y/n lets him settle for a minute, watching him draw his knees up to his chest instead, his metal hand glinting for a moment in the light as he wraps his arms around his legs, looking for a moment like a small, lost child before he turned his head and made eye contact with Y/n. He didn’t speak, but his eyes flicked from Y/n to the bed space next to him then back up, an eyebrow raising in question.

Y/n grinned and practically bounded over to the bed, bouncing lightly onto the bed and easily settling against the headboard next to Bucky, being careful to not brush against him but leaving a thin space between them.

“How ‘bout a movie?” Y/n gestures at the TV mounted on the wall opposite of the bed, and Bucky looks sheepish for a moment.

“I – uh, don’t know much about things like that”

“Oh. Um, how about Snow White and the seven dwarfs? I think it was first released in 1940 - ?”

“1937” Bucky interrupted the first genuine smile Y/n had seen ever since he arrived on his lips. “I remember Stevie and I talking about it, but we couldn’t afford to go see it”

Before he can start to dwell on that fact, Y/n grabs the remote from the bedside table and brandishes it playfully at him. “Well, now you can watch it, all to the magic of the 21st century”

Bucky let out a quiet snort, and Y/n quickly found the movie and put it on, settling against the headboard.

Both of them were quiet throughout the movie, and twenty minutes into it did Bucky finally start to relax, a soft smile on his face as his eyes focused on the images on the screen. He also gradually started to subconsciously inch closer to Y/n until his and Y/n’s thighs, sides and arms were pressed together. He suddenly blinked and sharply looked down to where his side was pressed against Y/n, and he started to move away when Y/n quickly reached out and rested her hand on his knee, making him freeze, FRIDAY automatically pausing the movie in the background.

“Ssh, it’s okay, James” Bucky slowly relaxed back against her after a minute or two, and Y/n smiled fondly, her fingertips gently pressing into the skin of his knee through his sweatpants. “Can we try something?”
Bucky looked at her, eyes piercing as he read her open, relaxed face, and he gingerly nodded.

“Okay, but trust me”

And with that, she lifted her hand from his knee and carefully reached out to lace her fingers through the digits on his metal hand. Bucky stiffened, but didn’t pull away, so Y/n persisted, and she squeezed his hand when their hands were pressed together, palm-to-palm, and she tugged him so he started to shift sideways towards her, and she guided him so his head was settled in her lap. Bucky let out a small whimper but Y/n just pushed his hair out of his face with her free hand, resting their entwined hands on his chest. Y/n smiled down comfortingly down at him, her hand resting on his hair as her thumb brushed gently over the skin at his hairline.

“There, that wasn’t too bad, was it?”

Bucky shook his head minutely, and Y/n squeezed his metal hand as she nodded towards the movie. “Wanna keep watching?”

Bucky nods and Y/n settles back as FRIDAY turns the movie back on, Bucky shifting his head slightly so he could see the screen clearly.

By the time the movie finished, Bucky was half dozing in Y/n’s lap, his eyes hooded and he stifled a yawn behind his free hand. Y/n had continued to brush her fingertips through his hair throughout the movie and that seemed to have helped him relax in her lap.

Chuckling quietly as she looked down at a sleepy Bucky, Y/n gently tugged him up into a sitting position, and he swayed slightly as he looked at her questioningly.

“Do you want to sleep with me tonight?” Y/n asked gently, and Bucky blinked before nodding, watching Y/n with a cautious eye like he was worried she would say. “How do you want to do it?”

Bucky looked confused, and Y/n chuckles quietly. “There are many ways to sleep with another person, James. You can hug the person from behind them and settle on your sides, or one person could cuddle against the others chest, or depending on the size of the person, they can sleep right on top of you, but really it’s what you’re comfortable with”

Bucky blinked again, and Y/n could practically see the cogs in his head turning in thought. Y/n waited patiently, and saw Bucky bite his lip, like he was worried that his answer might scare Y/n off.

“Uh – could I – um – “

“Breathe, James. Just tell me, and we’ll work with it from there”

Bucky nodded, and licked his lips. “Could I hug you from behind?”

Y/n nodded gently, and turned behind her as she gestured for Bucky to lie down on his left side, at which he hesitated. “But – my arm –“

“Don’t worry, I have an idea for that” Y/n grinned as she lifted her pillow, and pulled Bucky’s metal arm out so it stretched out on the bed where the pillow would go, and then she settled the pillow on top of his arm and snickered at his surprised expression.

“See? It’s all good. And you know what’s perfect about your arm?” Y/n locked eyes with Bucky. “You won’t get pins and needles”

Bucky lets out a surprised snort, and stays still as Y/n settles on her side, back facing Bucky, and lay her head on the pillow on top of his arm, and reached her right hand behind her and takes hold of Bucky’s right wrist. She guides it to her waist, and he lets out a soft huff as he shuffles closer to her as she tugs his hand again, his chest brushing her back and his thighs pressing against the back of hers.

“You’re very warm” Y/n murmurs as she shuffles back into him so his front was molded to her back, and Bucky instinctively wrapped his right arm around her hips and held her close to him, which made her hum with approval.

“Is warm good?” Bucky asked nervously, and when she chuckled sleepily, Bucky smiled.

“Warm is good, James, makes you like a warm blanket”

Bucky snorts as he lays his head down on the pillow, his nose brushing against the soft skin at the back of Y/n’s neck and she sighs contentedly.

“See? Hugging isn’t so bad”

They both stay quiet after that, Bucky’s hold on her firm, and he bites his bottom lip in thought.

“Y/n?”

Y/n made an acknowledging sound in the back of her throat, indicating she was listening.

“Why don’t you call me Bucky?”

Y/n stays silent for a moment, then she shifts around so she’s lying on her right side, face-to-face with Bucky, whose eyes widen slightly at the closeness of their faces. His right hand was still resting on her hips and she let out a soft sight, her head still resting on the pillow on top of his arm.

“Because it’s your name, for people that are close to you, a name that’s truly yours. James was given to you first, and until I know you and you know me, and you give me permission to call you Bucky, then I’ll keep calling you James”

Bucky blinked, then let out a soft sigh as he leant his head forward and let his forehead bump lightly against Y/n’s, his eyes closing.

“Thank you, Y/n, I appreciate it” Bucky murmurs softly, and even though he can’t see it, Y/n smiles back, and then bumps her forehead against Bucky’s in return, making him chuckle softly under his breath.

“But please, call me Bucky” he insists.

“Okay” Y/n whispers, and Bucky opens his eyes and pulls Y/n to him, instinct taking over him as he shifts onto his back and draws Y/n’s head to his chest, where she settles his head over his left pectoral, where Y/n could hear his strong, steady heartbeat. Bucky’s metal arm shifted out from under the pillow and curls around Y/n’s back, holding her to him, and his right hand rests on the back of Y/n’s head, fingertips gently brushing through her hair. He liked the idea of cuddling Y/n. She made him feel safe and brought back instincts and feelings that he’s sure he hadn’t felt since the 30’s.

“Thank you, Y/n” he whispers sincerely, and lets out a soft huff as Y/n wraps her left arm around his stomach, cuddling closer to him.

“It’s okay, Bucky” Bucky smiled at the sound of his name on her lips. “Now, go to sleep”

And he did.

 

……………………….

 

The week after that first cuddle session with Y/n that nobody knew of, Bucky started to change. He became more receptive to other people, talking without being prompted, venturing away from Steve whenever the team was altogether, and this was all because of Y/n’s hugs.

No one really noticed at first, that Bucky would almost naturally gravitate towards Y/n whenever she entered the room, his eyes always flicking over to her if he wasn’t already moving over to her. Y/n didn’t act any differently, just a little bit happier and almost always smiling whenever Bucky was around. They had two more sessions in secret that week, with Bucky sneaking into Y/n’s room at night, curling around Y/n’s body, and Y/n let him, letting Bucky take comfort in whatever form he could accept.

Then, once, halfway through the second week, there was a meeting that all Avengers had to attend to, and Tony had invited Y/n along, just to sit by the wall to listen and to offer comfort to anyone that needed it or if an outside opinion was needed.

Fury had come with Hill to talk about a branch of HYDRA that was potentially active in New York and everyone could see that it was affecting Bucky. As Hill detailed all the disappearances and murders that could be linked to HYDRA in a calm and clinical voice, Bucky was getting paler and his lips set in a straight line as the machinery inside his metal arm whirred and clicked in agitation. Steve was next to him, and half way through the meeting he turned to Bucky, murmuring a worried question under his breath, but Bucky didn’t answer. Tony, who was sitting across from Bucky, crinkled his brow in worry and then looked piercingly at Y/n. When Y/n felt the burning of his stare, she looked at him and he jerked his head at Bucky, who was now staring down at his lap, hair hanging in his face as he started muttering to himself under his breath. Y/n’s eyes widen, and she quickly stands up and quietly moves over to stand behind Bucky, her hand settling gingerly on Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky rapidly tensed and relaxed under her touch, and she lowered her head to ask him a question in his ear. He muttered back, chest rising and falling rapidly, and Y/n kept talking to him in a quiet, soothing voice. He answered her questions just as quietly, and then when Hill in the background mentions how one victim had been found with a brand of the HYDRA symbol burned into their chest, Bucky let out a strangled cry, twisted around in his seat and grabbed Y/n around the waist and pulled her to sit sideways in his lap, a small surprised squeak making its way out of Y/n’s mouth. The table and its other occupants instantly fell silently as they watched Bucky bury his face in Y/n’s neck, small sobs muffled against her skin, and Y/n wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to him, looking around at the team with flushed cheeks and a stern look that said ‘Say anything and I will murder you’.

It almost rivaled Natasha’s death glare.

After that public scene, Y/n and Bucky could be found together all the time. They would be on the couch with Bucky’s head lying in Y/n’s lap, or Bucky would sneak up on Y/n when she was cooking and wrap his arms around her waist and prop his chin on her shoulder and talk to her quietly, or she would even sit on his lap during meetings about HYDRA, her hands combing through his hair as he answered questions about HYDRA since he knew the most about them.

It really was only a matter of time that Bucky kissed her.

It was two weeks after the public scene in the meeting with Fury and Hill, and Bucky was in Y/n’s room with her, watching a movie. Once the movie finished, they curled up on the bed, facing each other as Bucky’s hand curled around her waist and her own hand rested in the space that was formed between Bucky’s neck and the bed, her fingers curling up to brush against his skin. Bucky had been distracted throughout the whole movie, the space between his eyebrows crinkled slightly in thought, but Y/n didn’t pay it any mind, she knew that he sometimes needed time to think, and that he would tell her eventually.

“Y/n?”

“Yeah, Bucky?” Y/n looked into Bucky’s eyes, and saw the worry and anxiety in his eyes, and Y/n smiled comfortingly, tilting her head forward to bump her forehead against his, making the corner of his lips tilt up slightly. “It’s okay, Just tell me and we’ll work with it from there”

Bucky let out a small chuckle at the words that Y/n had said that first night he had come to her for a ‘cuddle session’, but his smile quickly faded. He carefully lifted his flesh hand from where it was resting on her waist and cupped Y/n’s face, his thumb brushing over the corner of her lips. Y/n stayed still, letting him do what he wanted so he could feel like he could say whatever he wanted to say.

“Y/n – I really –“ Bucky paused and licked his lips, and Y/n’s eyes quickly flash down to his lips and then back up to his eyes, which were suddenly clear, and full of determination and intention. “Can I kiss you?”

Y/n looked stunned, her eyes widening slightly, but even though Bucky was feeling discouraged by the second, he stayed still, his thumb still brushing over the corner of her lips, determined to get an answer.

“Y/n?

“Yes” Y/n blurts out quietly, and Bucky breaks out into a relieved grin.

“Yes?”

“Yes, you can kiss me”

Without pause, Bucky pushed Y/n onto her back and settled lightly on top of her, his mouth hovering right over hers, his elbows on either side of her head. Y/n had a deep flush covering her cheeks, and her eyelids fluttered closed as Bucky closed the gap between them and brushed his lips lightly over hers, making her sigh.

“Kiss me properly, James” she murmurs, and she grins against his lips as he lurched down and pressed his lips to hers in a chaste but firm kiss. He pulled back after a moment, and smiled when he saw that she had a blissed out look on her face.

“You were right, Y/n” he says softly, his hand reaching up to brush his fingertips over her heated cheek, and she opened her eyes then, filled with question.

“Hugging isn’t so bad”

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