Chapter Text
It started the night they went to the old Cherrylane theatre to see Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Not one of them had seen the movie before except for Maya and Riley, who squealed and carried on with joy about how it was her favorite Audrey Hepburn movie and how they should all see it. No one could deny Riley this, especially since she couldn’t stop talking about it for three days straight. Maya didn’t object to old movies, in fact, she liked them. Back when she was little and her mother couldn't afford cable they were all that ever played on one of the few interesting channels they had access too. She would watch movie after movie when she would be home sick from school, watching the grainy black and whites with the breathless heroine and the tall, dark, and handsome male lead, the technicolor marvels from the late sixties to early seventies, full of color and colorful language (some she would try out at school, much to a young Riley’s shock). These she was used to, the rest were a little less excited as they entered the theatre late that Sunday night, wallets eight dollars lighter and mouths open a few inches wider in hushed protest.
“I can’t believe this is what we’re spending our Sunday night doing. We live in New York City- there are concerts and festivals and clubs open all hours of the night and we’re here!” Spoke Zay, a little louder than he should have been.
“Hush!” Lucas ordered quietly, looking to see if Riley had heard, but she was already buying snacks at the counter and out of earshot. Lucas checked one more time, making sure his girlfriend wasn’t paying attention before he continued, “I know this isn’t my first choice for what we could be doing on a Sunday night but this means a lot to Riley and besides, you know none of us could ever get into a club.”
“Hey- you don’t know that,” Zay pointed, “I’ve got the moves.” He began some fancy footwork that both amused and impressed the three friends present for his little exhibition.
“Well, as much as I agree that this isn’t my first choice,” Farkle piped in, “I don’t mind it so much, I’ve never seen an Audrey Hepburn movie before and it’s set in New York. I’m sure it will be cool enough just to see how much the city’s changed in fifty years” Farkle said, pleasant as could be.
Maya smiled at him, approving his optimism of which neither of the other boys shared. Farkle caught sight of her smiling at him from the corner of his eye and smiled back before shifting his eyes back to whatever Zay and Lucas were arguing about now. Probably sports. Whatever it was, Maya wasn’t focusing at all on it. She was too busy dissecting why the smile Farkle had given her made her feel like, as Riley would put it, she’d been “kissed by a thousand butterflies all at once.” Maya shook her head and looked back at her best friend who was currently exchanging pleasantries with an obviously charmed concessions boy, while the line growing behind her as she chattered away looked less than charmed. That was Riley, happy as a clam in the sand. Maya, well, she was a different story. She was by no means jealous of her friend, she’d moved past that in the couple of years that had passed since that awkward and painful transition between middle school and high school where she didn’t know her place in the world or her identity. Now, Maya was confident in herself, she was happy- happy enough. Comparing happiness levels with Riley was like comparing bank accounts with Bill Gates, no contest.
Her romantic life? Now that was a whole different story. That was tragic. It had been months since she’d even looked at a guy with a passing interest. There had been Lucas, and she was happy with how that ended. Lucas and Riley were like peanut butter and jelly, sweet and stuck to each other like glue. It was always meant to be, and now sometimes it made her guilty to think about how much she’d turned things upside down for them, no matter how much Riley protested the exact opposite. Riley knew her well enough to know that if she didn’t remind Maya of her total and utter innocence in the situation that she would beat herself up over it. Maya knew herself well enough to know that even if she did, that still wouldn’t change how much she wanted to kick herself because of it. Her mind was a bit of a violent place, but that was her, and at least Riley knew how to soften the blow a little bit.
Then there was Josh. There wasn’t much to say about him. He was a crush, he was a fantasy. He’d given Maya her first kiss- something that Maya had still never told Riley about, she told her it had been some random guy she’d kissed at a party because she knew Riley would have been furious if she knew Josh had just kissed and left without another thought. Maya knew it was just Josh, he was who he was, and he was the type of guy who when he kissed her he did it gently, and made her feel special. Then, when he was four months into attending NYU and met a pretty girl in his Communications class that that was all for the two of them. Maya wasn’t sore though, she could see it coming from a mile away, and even though she’d learned to be more hopeful than when she was younger, that didn’t change who people were. And Maya knew that she was the kind of girl who knew what she was getting herself into, usually. Maya guessed she had more to say about Josh than she had thought.
Then there was this whole- thing with Farkle. What was that about? Maya couldn’t imagine, or else, couldn’t let herself imagine. Maya had always had a soft spot for Farkle, always knew he was a good guy, always knew he was the kind of guy she should try and find. But he was never the guy she thought she should go after. Nor would she. She’d already nearly ruined one friendship with a guy who was split between her and her best friend, and even though Riley was in no way romantically interested in Farkle, she couldn’t challenge that promise he’d always made to them: I’ll love you both equally, forever.
Forever was a long time, and Maya was not willing to challenge that. And besides, he was Farkle.
But that look.
Maya bit her lip, thinking of all the looks Farkle had given her, and Riley, over the course of their lives. From puppy-dog eyes to the tender, more mature, caring looks he’d given them, to the admiring, proud best-friend sort of looks. Like this look could be any different, like he would ever look at her any different than how he’d ever looked at both her and Riley. It was stupid, he was their best friend, and that was all he would ever be.
Maya went to tune back into the real world before she lost herself in that endless chasm of thought and inner turmoil she called her disheveled blonde head.
“So, in conclusion, sports,” Lucas said, and both Zay and Farkle nodded.
Maya grinned. Maybe what he said wasn’t exactly as pinpoint as that, but it was pretty close to what she had expected to hear.
“Alright, guys! I’ve got all the snacks,” Riley piped in as she came up to the group, “Milk duds for my milk dud, Lucas?” Riley said, handing the candy to Lucas.
“Um, thank you?” Lucas said, eyebrows knit together. Riley booped him on the nose and continued.
“Licorice for you Zay, popcorn for you Farkle, and sour patch kids for our sour patch kid,” she said, wrinkling her nose with her goofy smile as she handed her candy to Maya.
“Awe, Riles,” Maya said, laughing at her sweet, earnest, but backhanded compliment.
“You’re welcome, Peaches. Now, last but not least, gummy worms for me. Alright, let’s do this thing!” Riley cried ecstatically.
“Gummy worms, Riley?” Farkle questioned, “I thought you still felt bad because you thought they reminded you too much of real worms and made you feel like a worm killer,” Farkle said, his face amused but sympathetic.
The guys laughed, and Riley’s face turned sober as she nodded her head.
“Yes, they did, but now I am learning to cope by pretending I am a bird who needs to feed her young.”
“Alright, as long as we’re not you’re young, and you don’t try to cough those back up later on,” Zay said mockingly serious.
Riley looked shocked and defensive before Lucas told them the movie was about to start any minute, and then she was back to ol’ smiley Riley, grabbing hold of Lucas’ hand and skipping away towards the theatre.
“Peaches?” She called, looking behind her and beckoning Maya to follow.
“Worm-killer, worm-killer, duh-na-na-na-na-na-duh-na-na-na-na-na,” Maya sang coyly to the tune of Psycho Killer by the Talking Heads as she followed behind. Farkle and Zay laughed while Riley gave a cry, whining “Pe-e-a-a-ches-s-s” as Lucas comforted her.
They sat down in the dark theatre, Maya in the middle with Riley on one side of her and Farkle on the other. The opening scene played, Audrey Hepburn dressed in a long black evening gown walking along the empty New York sidewalks, morning light pouring out beyond her. Riley gave a big sigh beside her, and Maya couldn't contain a small sigh of her own. She’d wanted to be like Holly Golightly when she was little. She had been poor and confused and scared like Holly Golightly too, and she’d wanted nothing more than a fancy tiara, a cat, and a George Peppard to go along with it. She identified with her, with her love of Tiffany’s, the same type of love for a refuge that she had for the bay window. Maya sighed again, Riley gave her hand a squeeze and they looked at one another, smiling. They had never seen the movie together, and Maya already knew Riley was going to put it away somewhere in her box of memories, the first time the two of them ever saw Breakfast at Tiffany’s together. Maya squeezed her hand back.
The movie continued, George Peppard and Audrey Hepburn met-cute, they quipped and were beautiful and cool and a little sad together. The guys seemed to be taking it in well enough, however, Zay couldn’t stop from whispering to Lucas every ten or so minutes, including one important question he had early on:
“So wait- she’s a hooker?”
“No!” Riley whisper-yelled, offended for Audrey Hepburn’s sake, “She’s just a beautiful, sophisticated woman who likes parties.”
“And who hangs around all night with strange men,” Maya added, tossing a sour patch kid into her mouth and chewing.
Riley sputtered in her seat, unable to accept anything but the very best of Holly Golightly, whose ambiguous status as a hooker was something she never picked up on all those times she’d watched it as a little girl with her mother. Maya loved her innocence, and her looking for the best in people, even if it was just a movie. After a few moments of sputtering, Zay finally dropped the accusation, unconvinced that she was not, in fact, a lady of the night.
The movie continued, and Riley cried twice. Once when Holly said goodbye to Doc and again when her brother Fred died. Both times Lucas was a shoulder to cry on. Maya however, remained impassive, even though the movie brought up a lot of emotions in her. The scene in which Holly got angry at George Peppard for snooping into her life hit home for Maya, who had never liked too many questions about her own personal life either. The scene in which Holly sat crooning Moon River with her guitar in her lap also made Maya a little wistful, reminding her of all those times she’d sat at her window, looking out onto her neighborhood and the whole big wide world, singing to herself and feeling small and big at the same time. She’d always wanted a guitar, but her and her mom could never afford it. She made up her mind that if she ever did get one, she’d learn to play Moon River on it.
Throughout the movie, too, Maya had been silently conversing with Farkle. First, as they both looked at each other, eyes full of laughter, at Riley’s shenanigans. Then, when Farkle quietly noticed that Maya was cold in the second act and gave her his jacket, letting Maya wrap the jacket around her and pull the hood over her head. Maya only smiled in thanks and smelled the fabric, comforted that it smelled like Farkle, like whatever woodsy soap he used. She had shifted the fabric unnoticeably closer to her, embracing it. He also pushed his popcorn into her lap without a word, letting her take as many handfuls as she wanted. Farkle knew that Maya couldn’t afford much more than the candy, and he knew she probably wasn’t going to join in on grabbing a bite to eat after the movie either, and he didn’t want her to feel hungry. He didn’t ask for any of her sour patch kids either, even when she offered. He wanted to take care of her. A couple of times their hands brushed against each other as they both grabbed for the popcorn, and Maya was embarrassed at the cliche way it made her hand tingle as they did. She hoped Farkle hadn’t noticed, and when she looked at him it didn’t seem like he did.
The movie reached its end, the rain pouring over Holly and George Peppard almost as heavily as Riley’s tears fell down her face. Maya couldn’t help but feel her own eyes water as the two characters embraced, after all the turmoil, and shared one amazing kiss in the rain. It made the two girls sigh with contentment, and Maya just barely noticed Riley and Lucas share a quick kiss from the corner of her eye. She also heard Zay make something between a cough and gagging noise.
Maya shook her head and turned to make a joke to Farkle when she saw that he was already looking at her. His eyes were bright with the light of the screen shining against them, along with something else, something that made her chest compress. He turned away quickly, quicker than she could read the expression on his face, and she looked back at the screen.
The final notes of the score played sweepingly over the final scene as the stirrings in Maya’s chest mingled with the thoughts whirling around her head. She looked back at Farkle. His eyes were trained on the screen and his face was impassive, just a little stiff. She looked back to the screen, which started to fade away into darkness until the whole theatre was, for a moment, engulfed in it. Maya felt something move against her shoulder and turned when, suddenly, she felt a pair of lips brushing against her own, light as a feather, as brief as a summer’s breeze. Then it was gone. Maya sat back in surprise as the lights of the theatre returned, casting the whole theatre in a disorienting yellow glow. Maya could barely control her thoughts, they whizzed by her so fast they were like flies flitting around inside her head. She could barely grab hold of one and focus on it. She turned to look back at the boy sitting next to her, the obvious culprit, and saw Farkle already standing up, his back facing her, and heading for the exit.
Maya became more confused than she had been even a second ago. She stood up, unsure of what to do and what had just transpired, or why it had. Her lips felt warm, and she pressed her fingers to them, trying to capture that warmth, that feeling.
Behind her, Riley called out to Farkle, but he didn’t answer.
“Where’s he going?” She asked, confused, but not as confused as Maya.
“To the bathroom,” Maya said without a thought, covering for him.
“Oh, okay,” Riley said, although she sounded a bit concerned. Probably because Maya was stood still as a statue still facing where Farkle had stood and left.
“You know, that movie was not bad at all. A little weird, but, you know, I love a good love story,” Zay said, his voice breaking Maya of her reverie.
“I think it’s the best love story ever,” Riley said, momentarily distracted and a smile in her voice, “Holly Golightly was scared and lonely and then she fell in love, and that love freed her from all that fear and loneliness inside her.”
“I don’t know,” Lucas spoke up, his tone contemplative, “was she really wanting love? She seemed kind of afraid of it, you know, not wanting to be in a cage?”
“Love doesn’t put you in a cage,” Riley said, shaking her head at him and looking at Maya briefly from the corner of her eye before looking back at him, “Love frees you.”
Maya felt a shakiness in her small frame that set her off ease. It had taken her a few moments to discern what she was feeling and she found only one answer: hope. A hope was being born inside of her and she couldn’t dare to name it what it was. She just stood: watching, hoping, her lips warm and her heart beating a step or two faster than normal.
Could it be… did Farkle like Maya? And could it be that maybe, just maybe, she liked him too?