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Pretty Kitty

Summary:

Sebastian persistently asks the Black Cat a question. Nurse Tatiana has the answer.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Exhausted, Sebastian stumbled into his Room, glad for the silence as his ears had been assaulted by the deafening grind of a large saw blade gunning persistently for his neck.

“I fucking HATE this place”, he muttered under his breath.

Something soft suddenly nudged against the back of his leg, startling him slightly.

Feline eyes stared up at him solemnly. He sighed, watching the black cat twine around his ankles.

“Good to see you, too”, he said absently to it, a smile almost touching his lips.

As much as something alive and warm interacting with him in a not-trying-to-kill-him way gave him some semblance of comfort he did have some things to do. That whole looking for his daughter thing. However the black cat continued its unusual display of affection, almost as though it were trying to soothe him.

“Alright, that’s enough”, he ordered it half-heartedly, “Shoo. Shoo.”

“Mrow”, it replied disapprovingly, ignoring him.

He sighed and stepped over it, “Look, nothing personal but...oh god, I’m talking to a cat.”

Questioning his sanity reminded him how he was fairing physically and all the aches and pains announced themselves in nauseating intensity.

Groaning he leaned heavily against the table before the screen projector, then sank to the floor with his legs splayed before him. Grinding his palms into his eyes, he looked down at the sensation of a cat settling itself between his legs.

“Hello”, he sighed, “What do you want now?”

It stared at him, silently judging him in the way cats do, then walked away but not without leaving a large jar of green gel.

“Good kitty”, he said to its retreating figure. It meowed in a bored, detached sort of way and disappeared around the corner of the hall.

With each visit to his Room Sebastian found himself looking forward to seeing the cat and not just because of the jarred green stuff it gifted him.

Sometimes it seemed not to want anything to do with him but more often it would meow a greeting and silently demand to be pet or just to have Sebastian act as a cushion as he went through the slides he collected.

At one point he woke up, disoriented at his desk. The cat was insistently batting his face gently with its paw and meowing almost mournfully. He opened his eyes and focused on the cat staring at him. If he didn’t know any better, it looked concerned.

“I’m okay, cat. Just need to...”

He trailed off at pain assaulting his head and groaned, burying his face in his crossed arms. The cat batted his head repeatedly until he could feel his hair becoming more untidy than usual.

“Alright, alright, I’m up”, he said without lifting his head.

Hesitantly he reached out towards it until he felt a warm, furry head nudge under his palm. He let the cat arch its body under his hand.

“So that’s all I’m good for, huh? Your personal petting service?”

The cat didn’t argue this and lay next to him, tilting its head and staring at him expectantly when he finally opened his eyes again.

“Yeah, yeah”, Sebastian grumbled at it half-heartedly.

He sat up and awkwardly stroked it from its nose to the tip of its tail. The cat allowed this so he guessed it was satisfied with his technique.

“Never really liked cats”, Sebastian said.

The cat opened an eye at him in disapproval but then closed it as he continued to pet it.

“But you’re okay. Lily...Lily would like you.”

He began scratching it behind its ears softly and the cat tilted its head in response, purring softly.

“Least I can do something right”, Sebastian told it, the warmth of the fur pleasant on his fingers, “Yeah, Lily would love you. But you’d have to deal with her hugging.”

He smiled absently, “She’s good at those though. You’d probably enjoy it.”

The cat stood as if to leave, then curled into a black crescent and watched him idly.

“She’d baby the shit out of you, too. Loves animals, that kid.”

The cat seemed to consider this, then with feline grace it suddenly jumped into his lap. Sebastian held his hands up as it circled in his lap and then settled in a comfortable position. It’s ears flicked occasionally, the tip of it’s tail now lazily twitching.

Despite himself and all the horror that had been assaulting his mind and body, Sebastian leaned back in the chair and smiled gently.

“Kinda clingy. What’s wrong? You lonely here by yourself?”

He pet the length of its body, the cat purring in approval.

Feeling a little silly, Sebastian looked around, making sure the coast was clear. He even checked his communicator to make sure it wasn’t on.

“Who’s a good kitty?”

The cat stretched its neck under his fingers, purring loudly.

“Are you a good kitty? Always leaving me that green stuff like a good kitty.”

He laughed gently as the cat sat up, its head tilting to the side and neck stretching as though to get more stimulation.

“Aww, you like that, huh? You’re kinda cute, you know?”

The cat opened its eyes as if to affirm that.

“Yeah, you know. Such a cute little kitty. Wish I could take you home with me”, he said, his voice becoming soothing, almost as if he were talking to a baby, “Wanna come home with me, kitty? You wanna come home with Sebastian? Huh?”

The communicator suddenly hissed to life, shutting him up immediately. He glared at it, annoyed, but the damage was done. The cat leapt off his lap, looking back at him accusingly before sauntering away, depriving Sebastian of its presence. Sebastian gave it an apologetic look.

“Sebastian. You there?”, Kidman’s voice said from the speaker.

He turned his attention back to the mission although feeling a little better. It had been nice to put his hands on something alive without having to break its neck or stab it.

On his next venture back to his Room Sebastian was more than upset. The cat was sleeping on the table next to the slide projector but he barely glanced at it. Sebastian rubbed at his face, glaring at the dried blood flaking onto his hand.

That damned psychopath with his damned camera and that damned knife. The cut next to his eye was some sort of claiming mark.

Well, next time he’d be ready for him. And he’d be ready to claim that smug smirk with a fist to his—

“Mrrrow.”

Sebastian looked down and saw the cat had seated itself at his feet with its head ever tilted as though silently assessing him. His frustration lessened as it began twining around his ankles waiting for affection.

“Good to see you, pretty kitty”, he said gently, stroking its head, “You missed daddy, huh?”

The cat seemed to pause and look at him before nonchalantly butting its head against his leg.

Sebastian suddenly wondered how the cat was even surviving here. There were rats in Union but he couldn’t see this precious thing with its adorable red ribbon as a hunter.

“Sorry, kitty. I hope you’re not hungry. I don’t have any food for you.”

He sat on the floor and let it coil in his lap. It found a comfortable position and promptly laid its head on his thigh as he continued petting it.

“But if you come home with me I’ll feed you real good. You’ll never have to worry about that.”

He frowned down at it.

“I guess you can have cat food. I’m not sure what else you eat...mice?”

The cat sat up immediately and somehow looked offended.

“Hm, not mice then...fish?”

The cat tilted its head tentatively and meowed.

“Alright. Maybe canned tuna or something?”

The answer was a cold, feline stare.

Sebastian laughed and gently scratched its chin, which it seemed to enjoy.

“How about a nice big fresh fish then?”

The cat purred, bending its head and guiding Sebastian’s hand to a better petting spot.

“Daddy’ll catch you fresh fish every day! Would pretty kitty like that? Huh? Would you?”

He spent the next five minutes naming every fish he could think of and promising a fresh catch of said fish before he remembered the slide he had found, reluctantly disentangling himself from the cat.

The next time he came to the room he saw the cat waiting for him expectantly. He smiled at it.

“Good little kitty, waiting for more petties from daddy, huh?”

The cat meowed indifferently but came to rest at his feet and stared up at him with bored expectancy.

“Sure, little kitty cat”, he said, grinning as he gave it a few gentle strokes along its neck and back. He felt a strange sort of pride when it began purring.

“Who’s a good kitty? Is it you? Are you a good pretty kitty cat?”

The cat suddenly stood up and meowed at him before walking towards the hall. He tilted his head in confusion and the cat turned to him and meowed again, gently but persistently.

“You want daddy to follow you?”

He stood and followed it, stopping in his tracks as it leapt onto the wheelchair that unexplainably transported him to the strange nurse and the device that improved his skills. Somehow.

“What, you want me to sit in the chair?”

The cat meowed and jumped down to make room for him. He looked doubtfully at the chair but the cat meowed again and nuzzled his ankle. He sighed in defeat.

“Alright alright”, he said, taking a seat and letting the cat jump in his lap, “But I’m not sure if that nurse will—“

His surroundings changed as they always did. He tried to suppress the usual lurch of his stomach, squeezing his eyes shut and hoping he wasn’t holding the cat too hard. He hoped the cat wouldn’t startle and he hoped the nurse was tolerant of it.

Well, she’d have to be. He’d claimed it as his own.

The first thing he felt was the chill of the room, as always. What was different was the lack of metal biting into his head and the restraints on his wrists. Odd.

The second thing he noticed was a heavy warmth on his legs. Heavier than a cat should have been.

“Detective”, a soft voice purred at him closer than usual, “Welcome back.”

He opened his eyes and they widened as he saw the nurse sitting on his lap.

“Um...”

She slipped off his legs with a feline grace and took her usual seat, staring at him gently but with bored detachment.

“Uh...”

She smiled knowingly, “Why, what ever is the matter, detective...?”

Don’t say it, Sebastian begged silently, oh god please don’t say it—

“Cat got your tongue?”, she finished, the subtle upward tilt of her lips showing she enjoyed his groan immensely.

“I’m...uh...I think I’m okay for now. I’m just...I’m gonna go.”

“Of course”, she replied with her eternally unaffected tone.

Sebastian made to stand when she cleared her throat.

“Salmon.”

Sebastian paused halfway out of the seat.

“...what?”

She smiled demurely and he noticed the red ribbon in her hair looked awfully familiar.

“I’m particularly fond of salmon. For future reference.”

Unable to bear the heat in his face any longer, Sebastian immediately stood from the chair and was relieved to see he was back in the Room. He covered his burning face in his hands and sighed heavily.

“God, I fucking hate this place.”

Back in her treatment room, Tatiana smiled as Sebastian winked out of existence. She stretched lazily and picked up her nail file, then paused and tilted her head.

“I’m the good kitty”, she said amusedly to herself, “I’m the good pretty kitty cat.”

—-End

Notes:

I have no excuses or apologies for this.