Work Text:
Keith sighed and sat down at the dining room table. She slit open one of the many envelopes spread out before her. She laid the piece of paper down to the side and continued to open up each of the letters. Most were bills, or just junk, with a few flyers thrown in. Keith set a magazine Lance was subscribed to on the other side of the table so it would be out of the way for bill paying. What they, Keith grabbed her checkbook and records before sitting back down to crunch and compare numbers.
The bank statement was easy. Her checkbook log matched the number that was given on the statement, so Keith moved onto the credit card. The bill was long, making her head spin when she saw all of the changes her and Lance had put on it in the last month.
“$3,000!” Keith nearly fell over when she saw the total. How could that be possible!? What had they spent $3,000 on?
Keith began to scan the bill for anything that was out of place.
Please let it be a mistake or identity theft. Oh please let it be identity theft.
For the most part, things were normal. The trips to the grocery store were in order, as well as the dates she had gone on with Lance. There was the trip to the mall for clothes for Shiro’s wedding, and Keith’s gym membership charge, and Lance’s monthly nail salon appointment that cost… $70?
That couldn’t be right. Those were usually only 30 or so, never 70. Keith looked more closely at the numbers and locations again. Grocery store: $78.21. Drugstore: $29.01. Lush: $32.65. Amazon: $28.72. Gas: $36.80. Nail salon: $72.87. Sephora: $176.93. Restaurant: $31.08. Victoria’s Secret: $152.97.
“Laaaaaance,” Keith called, still studying the bill.
“Yes?” Lance scampered into the dining room and wrapped her hands around Keith, putting her head on her shoulder. “Is something the matter.”
“What’s this?” Keith pointed at one of the charges. “And this? And this, this, and this?”
“Well…” Lance did her best to sound innocent. “They look like things we bought.”
“‘We?’” Keith looked at Lance and lifted an eyebrow. “When did ‘we’ spend almost $200 on makeup?”
“Keith, I’m sorry!” Lance buried her head into Keith’s hair. “There were new lipsticks and I just needed to get them!”
“How many did you buy!?”
“Five or six… I think.”
“How much were they a piece?”
“Like… 15 or 20 bucks.”
“So what’s the other $75?”
Lance puckered her lips and thought. “Well… I did buy another bottle of perfume, and some more face masks, but they were on sale, I swear!”
“Lance.” Keith patted her lap and Lance sat down, arms still around Keith. “You don’t need so many lipsticks, babe. You can only wear one at a time.”
Lance fidgeted on Keith’s lap. “But they were new.”
“And what about this charge to Lush?”
“They had new bath bombs and bubble bars…”
“The nail salon?”
“I got extra bling.” Lance held out her hands to show Keith her jewel covered nails.
“And Victoria’s Secret?”
“I got that for you!” Lance snuggled into Keith and tried to be sexy. “I got some little things that I know you’ll love me in. Red and black and-”
“Lance.” Keith put a hand on Lance’s stomach to stop her from trying to give an impromptu lap dance. “I know you like buying these sorts of things, but you charged a lot on the credit card. It adds up quickly.”
Lance pouted and squirmed on Keith’s lap, giving Keith her best puppy eyes. “But they were new lipsticks! And the lady at the nail salon was so sweet and the masks were on sale and-”
“Sweetie, I’m not mad. We both have full-time jobs, so we can afford splurges every now and then, but not this much. Plus we’re saving for our townhouse, remember?”
Lance nodded and leaned into Keith. “I remember.”
“Just promise me you won’t spend so much all at once, okay? I know you have a whole drawer of lipstick and another of face masks, so only get when you absolutely need. And use coupons.”
Lance nodded again. “You buy expensive things, too,” she whined.
“I… know I do.” Keith knew Lance meant the motorcycle in the garage and her collection of vintage knives. “But I try to save for them before I buy.”
Lance frowned a little as she thought about the makeup and perfume and clothes she had purchased and how much money got in the way of her happiness. “I wish everything was free.”
“I know you do.” An idea sprung into Keith’s head when she saw Lance’s fall in demeanor. “You know, it’s getting a little late, and these bills aren’t due for at least a week…” Keith leaned close to Lance and whispered in her ear. “Why don’t you show me those ‘little things’ you were talking about earlier and we can have a little fun… for free.”
Lance sprung up from Keith’s lap and beamed with joy. “See! I knew you’d want to see them! They’re really cute, and worth every penny, I swear!”