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Dean was lying on his bed in the dark watching Netflix on his laptop when he heard it.
Just a soft sob through the wall from the apartment next to his. The walls were paper-thin, so he had heard the door slam when his neighbor had come home and when he'd come into the room next to Dean's. He knew it was the cute guy that lived there, but Dean didn't know his name. Dean'd been crushing on the guy a little bit since he moved in. Okay, maybe a-lot-a-bit, but that's all details. But maybe he could help the guy out. He sounded pretty torn up. Dean shut down his laptop and walked across his bedroom, listening for where the crying got louder. Right in the corner, he realized. Dean sat down against the wall and wondered for a moment if he was actually going to do this. But then he figured, what do I have to lose? Dean didn't even know the guy, they'd barely exchanged more than a few words to each other since the guy'd moved in six months ago. Dean leaned his head against the wall and listened to the soft cries for a minute before speaking aloud.
"Hey man, are you alright?"
The crying stopped and all Dean heard was silence for a long moment. The guy probably didn't want to talk right now, he might be embarrassed to know that someone could hear him crying. Right as Dean was about to say something else his neighbor spoke up in a deep, broken voice that sounded like it rumbled right out of his chest. "N-No. I'm not... alright."
Dean heard the guy shift around some and figured he had moved a little closer to where Dean was.
"I'm sorry to hear that. What's your name, man?
"I'm Castiel."
"I'm Dean. Nice to meet you, Castiel."
Dean could hear Castiel sniffling. He was probably trying to stop crying now that he knew someone was listening and trying to talk to him.
"Hey, hey. Don't do that. It's alright to cry, you know. We can talk about it if you want, or you can tell me to go fuck myself and I will, but you don't need to try to hold it all in like that. Believe me, I'm the most emotionally constipated asshole I know, and it sucks." A soft, hiccuped laugh erupted from the other side of the wall and Dean smiled.
"I-I have never heard it put quite that way before."
"I've got a way with words, I'm told anyway."
"You do. Do you normally talk to strangers through the walls of your apartment?"
"Nope. You're the one and only."
"I feel honored."
Dean laughed and joked, "You should be. So what's up, man? Why're you crying?" There was a heavy sigh from the other side of the wall and another sniffle.
"I-I just... I can't do this anymore. My- My brother... He's on trial for murder. He killed my other brother, Gabriel. He- He- Gabriel was the only one who ever cared enough to listen. And now... Now he's gone, and I can't- I just can't anymore! I'm going crazy, I just- I can't handle it! My whole family is tearing each other apart and I'm caught in the middle of it. Everybody wants me on their side, and I- I miss Gabriel. Sometimes I don't even know what to do anymore, I-"
Cas had been talking faster and faster, spitting out the words and sounding more on edge by the second. Dean shushed him.
"Wait, wait, Cas. It's alright. Listen, as crazy as it sounds, I care enough to listen, okay? I'll listen. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here, alright? I've been there and I know how it is. My brother tried to commit... Well, it was a few years ago. He technically died for about three minutes before he was brought back. I lived a lifetime in those three minutes. Grief kinda follows me around, I guess. My mom first, when I was just a kid. My dad a few years back. The silence from that... it can drive you crazy sometimes. And other times there's so much damn noise that your head feels like it's going to explode, and you feel like you're just going to snap. But- But I'll listen, okay? I can be here for you to talk to."
"You... You're being serious?" His voice was so soft...
"Yeah, Cas. Serious as a heart attack. Do... Do you want to come over? It's alright if you don't."
"I- I think that might be best. Are you sure it's okay?"
"Yeah, of course. Come on. I'll meet you at the door. I'll be the one in white."
Dean joked and he heard a watery chuckle from the other side. It made him smile. There was a scrambling sound and Dean stood up as well. For some reason, he trailed his hand across the wall as he walked. He went out to the living room and pulled open his door just as Cas raised his hand to knock on it, apparently. He was standing there with his arm awkwardly hanging in the air, an embarrassed look on his red face.
His eyes were swollen, and his hair was a mess. It looked like he'd been running his hands through it. He was in sweatpants and a t-shirt, which was odd. Dean had never seen him in anything other than a business suit and a trench coat. Good to know the guy did relax sometimes. Dean stepped back and swept his arm grandly towards his modest apartment.
"Come on in, Cas. Make yourself at home. Mi casa es su casa." Cas gave him a slight smile at that and walked inside, looking around.
"You have a very nice home, Dean."
"Aw, no need to flatter me, Cas," Dean winked, and Cas blushed and averted his gaze. "But thanks."
"May I see where you were just talking to me from? I'm curious if we share the same layout." Dean shrugged.
"Yeah, come on. It was my bedroom, by the way, if you're comfortable with that." Cas nodded slightly as he followed Dean into his bedroom.
"It's alright. I... for some reason, I trust you. I hope that's okay to say."
Dean turned back to look at him with a warm smile. "Yeah, 'course it is. I like you too, Cas." Dean's smile grew brighter when Cas said, "I didn't say that."
"Yeah, but it's true, isn't it?" A faint smile came over Cas's face. "Yes. It is. Is that okay? I mean... I hope you're not homophobic?"
Dean laughed out loud. "Nope. I'm a little too gay to be homophobic, I think. I may or may not've been crushing on you since you moved in."
"You're gay?"
"I'm pan, actually, but I've dated guys, so it counts, I think. Are you gay?" Cas nodded shyly and averted his eyes again, studying Dean's carpet with intensity. Dean took a chance and stuck his hand out, putting his fingers to Cas's chin gently, and urging his face up. Cas's eyes met his, and Dean realized he had the bluest eyes that Dean had ever seen.
"It's alright, Cas. That's nothing to be ashamed of. You know that?" Cas shrugged and Dean's heart kind of broke at that. "I guess," Cas whispered softly, and he reached up with his left hand, wrapping it around Dean's wrist. He thought he was going to push Dean away but instead, he pulled Dean's hand softly across his face, flattening his fingers until they spread across Cas's stubbled cheek in a loving gesture, his palm flat against Cas's face. His eyes closed and he nuzzled into Dean's hand, just leaning into the gesture. It was probably the most adorable and most sad thing Dean had ever seen all at the same time.
"Cas," He whispered gruffly and Cas's eyes shot open. He jerked away a few steps before even giving Dean a chance to speak. "I-I'm sorry! I d-didn't mean- I don't know why- I'm sorry-" Dean walked over to him and wrapped his arms around the panicking man, grasping him in a tight hug. Cas's arms wrapped around him too, despite his freakout. "It's alright. It's alright. Calm down. Cas, listen to me. You listening?"
Cas nodded against his chest, still slightly shaking with panic. "It's okay. I don't mind, honestly. You didn't do anything wrong. It's okay. Say that for me. Can you do that?"
Cas whispered, "It's okay?"
And it came out more like a question. Dean nodded and allowed himself the small pleasure of laying his cheek against the man's hair as they embraced.
"Yes, Cas. It's alright. Do you want to lay down? It'd be more comfortable." Dean was a bit surprised that Cas started nodding, but he took it in stride and walked them over to the bed. He let go of Cas and sat down, scooting himself up the bed until he was leaning against the headboard. Cas was standing awkwardly at the side, looking ashamed. Dean patted the side of the bed next to him in invitation. "Come on, Cas. It's alright. Whatever you want to do, okay?"
Wide searching blue eyes found his and for a moment, Dean's world stilled. Later he would call it the ridiculous, but after that, he would grudgingly admit, only to Cas, that that had been the first moment for him. The first moment that he had known they had to become a 'them.' He had just known. He wanted Cas. It was an intensely emotional moment for two strangers, and it only stopped when Cas surged forward. Apparently trying to avoid as much awkwardness as possible he flew up the bed and settled in beside Dean. Dean wasn't sure whether to laugh or be worried. Cas brought his knees up to his chest and stared at Dean's wall on the other side of the room. After several minutes, Dean spoke. "Cas."
Cas's eyes flickered over to his and held his gaze. "Yes, Dean?"
"Are you okay?"
"I'm... I'm better now, but... It hurts. It hurts so much, Dean. Gabriel was the only real family I had. And... I don't know what to do without him. I... Tonight, when you started talking to me, I was... I was going to end it, I just can't do it anymore." Cas was literally talking so quietly that Dean had to strain himself to hear, especially at the last part. At the words "end it" Dean's heart started pounding and blood roared in his ears and he suddenly felt much too hot.
"Cas, no." He was horrified. Why would someone like Cas- Fuck. Cas looked so damn apologetic it was ridiculous. "I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't mean to be this much trouble."
"Oh, Cas. Dammit. Come here." Dean grabbed him by the shoulders and yanked him over to Dean. Cas yelped. Dean wrapped his left arm around Cas and hugged him, his heart crying out for this beautifully broken man. Cas wrapped his left arm hesitantly around Dean's middle. When Cas actually settled into him, breathing in deeply from where his face nestled on Dean's chest, Dean spoke. "You're not trouble, Cas. And don't apologize. Not for that. Not to me. Especially not to me. You don't owe me any kind of explanation. But Cas, I gotta say this. I'm very glad I decided to talk to you tonight." He murmured against Cas's hair.
"I... I think I am too, Dean."
"Do you want to stay with me tonight? Not... you know, anything, uh... Not sex, but do you wanna sleep here? You can use the couch if you're more comfortable... I just don't wanna leave you alone to deal with everything by yourself. I'd like you to stay if that's okay with you. We can talk and stuff if you want, or watch some Netflix. Whatever you want."
Cas looked up at him, and Dean saw happiness brimming in those eyes for the first time tonight. "I would like that very much, Dean. Do you want me to sleep on the couch?"
"Not if you don't want to. I can't say I have any issue with you sleeping here with me, Burt." And that's when Dean found out that Cas is adorable when he's confused. He has the cutest head tilt like he's a puppy or something, and his brow gets furrowed.
"Burt?"
Dean grinned. "There's one thing I do know, Cas, and that is this: Burt and Earnie are gay."
A smile twitched Cas's lips and after a moment it got the better of him and he started laughing. Just a small chuckle at first, then straight out laughing. It was infectious and made Dean laugh too. After a while, they were laughing so hard they were crying. And the best part? It was over nothing. They were just laughing at the absurdity of their situation. At being alive. Being together. No matter what happened tomorrow, they had this now.
~Sometime Later~
Dean adjusts his tie for the 47th time in the mirror as he thinks back to that first night. He'd been enraptured with Cas even then. Cas had slept in his bed that night, and every night after that, incidentally. At first, it was just comfort. Then friends. After three months, they became lovers. After two years, they were engaged. And now, three years after that first night, Dean's about to marry the love of his life. His phone buzzes with a notification and he realizes he needs to put it on silent for the ceremony. His heart starts beating wildly like it only does for Cas when he realizes it's from his soon to be husband.
<Do you love me?
Dean smiles. He texts back:
>Of course I do.
Of course. Cas sends him another answer and Dean's eyes start to water as he reads the message. God, he's been waiting for this day forever. Today he gets to marry his best friend. The crying boy from next door who was just too loveable to ignore. Dean hasn't been happier. They had decided to walk down the aisle together so Cas was literally just outside his door right now. With the words of Cas's last text ringing in his mind, Dean pulls open the door only to have his future husband waiting on the other side with a beautiful, blinding smile, and he still had the bluest eyes Dean has ever seen.
<Then come on. I'll meet you at the door. I'll be the one in white. ;)