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Tonight was the first time Takumi and him were in a room all alone. They never had the time to properly spend time with each other, the prince with his duties, and him with his chores. In fact, Zola was spending more time with his little sister than with him. He couldn't say it was sad, because the mage loved Sakura. She was kind, and always gentle with him. She taught him all Hoshidan usages, traditions and such. He also became her student, learning to be a doctor one day.
He liked his new life. And now, he was spending time with the man he secretly loved. He didn't knew if he could call this a date. They were both just drinking and chatting, a small table separating them. The door was open on the indoor garden of the castle, leaving them as a landscape the night sky, fireflies and moths floating around. Zola noticed the silence they installed, both looking at the scenery, listening to the stream.
“I never thought we would end up being so comfortable around each other, after the war.” Takumi said, breaking the silence. “Especially me.”
“What do you mean? I- I know I was really... unlikable. But I changed! So, I don't understand-”
“I thought you would go back to Nohr. And just forget about us.”
He wasn't talking about anyone but himself. And Zola knew it. His self esteem was almost lower than his, always scared that people loved him less than his siblings. Cared less about him. It took the mage a lot of courage to open his mouth again.
“I... s-stayed in Hoshido for you, Lord Takumi.” he managed to stutter. “You've been so kind to me. I never thought you would ever trust me again after all I did.”
“I bet you've saved more people from death than you killed.” he replied, looking at the embarrassed mage. “Sakura told me. You are an amazing healer.”
“I never liked fighting. And Iago being able to use staves always made me jealous... I-it's like Lord Leo! He's just so good at so many things. I-I always felt like a burden. Hoshido was the perfect place to find myself, I suppose.”
“Leo's good with a sword.”
“And so are you.”
He never replied. His gaze went back to the moon, lost in his own thoughts. Takumi liked Leo. He knew it. He was always praising him, talking about how similar they were. And in fact, they were going along very well.
He hated it. He hated Lord Leo. He hated how pretty and powerful he was. Zola was no match to a prince. So he never tried anything. He cheered on him when he was too shy to ask Leo to come over to Hoshido. He told him everything he knew about Nohr and its history, so Takumi could understand him better. But it was painful. He couldn't say that he was content of seeing him happy with another one. Because he wasn't.
“Hey, you look really sad all the sudden. Everything's alright?”
“O-of course! I am just getting sleepy, my apologies my lord.” he lied. It was something he hated about himself. Lying. He finished his cup of sake and stood up, arranging his kimono and taking the now empty bottle.
“What did you plan with Sakura the day after tomorrow?”
“Hm...” he started thinking, arranging the cups with the bottle on the plate before lifting it. “I think we don't have anything big planned. Why is that?”
“Sakura really likes Elise, and I was thinking about sending her and Leo a letter to come over.” he made a short pause. “And ask Hinoka and Xander to come over too. I... I kinda miss her.”
One of the biggest part of the end of the war was Hinoka, a princess of Hoshido, becoming the Queen of Nohr. People of both country could clearly see that it wasn't a matter of politics, but love, and made relationships between the two kingdoms so much better. Nohr wasn't starving anymore.
While Takumi was talking about his sister, Zola was looking at the single drop he left in his cup. It was shining because of the moonlight. Xander was terrifying. Camilla was terrifying. Leo was making him wake up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat, thanking all the gods that it was only nightmares. Ryoma told him. They weren't mad at him anymore. They didn't want him dead.
He never understood why in the first place they hated him. He served them. He was present at war meetings. He wasn't being a nuisance or anything. Why would they dislike him so much, laughing on his back, calling him by names? Jakob was jealous when he dared to come close to Corrin. He was mean to make her hate him, and not come close because he was scared when he made her laugh.
But why would the royals be scared of him. He had his idea on the matter. His face and look. He looked like a bad person. And somehow, he could understand them hating him for that. Even himself began to act like a bad person, for this reason. He looked like a villain. People were treating him like one. He took the opportunity to become one, to make his life easier.
Takumi took the plate from his hands.
“You have something on your mind. You may be older than me but you're so stubborn!” he let out an irritated sigh. “Let's go to bed. But you can always come to me when you're feeling bad. Alright? We're friends.”
“Thank you Lord Takumi. If you need anything, you know you can talk-tu-mi as well my lord.”
“Go to bed.”
He was smiling. Not laughing, almost, but what made Zola all fuzzy and warm inside was that he made him smile.
~ ♥ ~
Leo sat next to his sister who was happily chatting with Sakura about their love interest. It was always weird for him to hear his little sister talk about matters that were more adult. War maybe changed her, after all. She was still this shining ball of sunshine, but she wasn't running anymore. She was more lady-like. Hinoka had a great influence on her. She was a child, and Hinoka a warrior. When the war began, Elise couldn't be a child anymore. When the war ended, Hinoka was no longer needed as a warrior. And they somehow bonded over it.
When Ryoma and Xander arrived laughing, followed by the food, everyone started to cheer. Takumi ran to sit next to his friend, apologizing for being late.
“You throw a party, and forget about it?”
“Of course not. I was looking for Zola. I haven't seen him all day. He can't just disappear when you guys come here!”
“Big brother, you should let him open up at his own speed. N-not everyone is comfortable around others...” Sakura said.
She knew why he hated it. She became very close to the mage, sharing more than they ever thought they would with anybody. They were both great listeners, always seeing people's qualities instead of focusing on their flaws. They could always cheer up each others. Zola with his silly jokes and praises, Sakura with her kindness and her gentle touch.
“Let's enjoy the party.” said Sakura breaking the silence, making Hinoka cheer in front of them, the two kings amused by her behavior.
~ ♥ ~
Later that day, after the feast, the two princes left to train together. Leo had a kimono handmade by Oboro herself, just for him when he was coming in Hoshido and needed spare clothes. The Hoshidan prince went to his room, only to find Zola arranging his clothes. Oh. He was away because he was doing the laundry. He was wearing his dark mage outfit. He planned to come to the party. What happened?
“Oh- Lord Takumi, sorry, I am almost done. Aren't you with Lord Leo?”
“We are going to spare. I came to change. Do you want to come with us?”
“I'd rather not spoil your time together. Have fun my lord.”
The mage stood up, letting the prince alone in his room. Once dressed up, he came to see Leo looking at the cherry tree. It wasn't in bloom at this time of the year, but it was bearing dark red sweet fruits. He should eat cherries with Zola tonight. Maybe he would open up a little once tired?
He took two wooden katana and gave one to the other prince who smirked.
“How long has it been since the war is over?” he asked, swinging the blade
“Maybe more than a year. Why?”
“I am almost glad the war happened. We are like soulmate, don't you agree? We got close even if we absolutely hated each other. I think I can call you my best friend without any doubt.”
“I thought this was Niles.” he replied, very happy to hear it but trying not to show it.
“It's different with him. We aren't attracted to each other like I am with you, and you with me.”
“It's not like we could avoid each other.” he said, both getting ready to spare
“That's what you think. Even if we were fighting alongside, I never got close to Sakura. Now. As your best friend I noticed something wrong in your behavior.”
What an asshole. They really couldn't hide anything to each other. He sighed and just began to train. In silence. He needed to come up with the good words. It was always so hard to convey this kind of feelings. Leo noticed quite early that he was blushing, and not because of the effort. This silence was almost making him uncomfortable now. He lost on purpose and immediately reacted:
“You are in love with someone.”
“I'm NOT!” Takumi replied, his whole face bright red.
“Of course. I think you won't be surprised if I tell you I had the exact same reaction when Camilla found out about Niles and me.”
“You weren't even hiding it.”
“Niles wasn't hiding it!” he sighed now embarrassed.
“You're going to be mad if I tell you who it is.”
“It's Zola.”
Takumi froze for good ten seconds.
“How do you-”
“Ryoma asked me to talk to you about it few weeks ago.”
“What do you mean WEEKS AGO?!”
“I never see you both together, so I never noticed, but Ryoma wrote me a letter about how you two acted around each other. And Sakura told me earlier during our meal that Zola wasn't there because he doesn't want to bother us.” Leo could have almost laughed at his reaction. But he didn't. His best friend really looked happy somehow, trying really hard to hide his smile. “Come on now Takumi, let me spend some time with you before I go back to Nohr.”
“You're right, sorry.”
“And you better prove to me that he isn't a rat anymore. I lost on purpose the first time, I need to fix that score.”
“Of course you did...” rolled his eyes the other prince.
~ ♥ ~
Zola just looked at the ceiling. He didn't even see any Nohrian today. He was too scared of the past. And seeing any of them would have... scared him. And the idea of seeing Leo making Takumi smile made his heart hurt. A lot. He really tried. But I really am a coward, uh? He just stood up from the floor, taking off his former uniform to put on a comfortable kimono for the night. Today was too exhausting for his own good, but he couldn't bring himself to go to sleep at all. Maybe a walk outside would help.
Heading for the gardens, he noticed Takumi picking up cherries outside, putting them in a small basket. Why... was he...
“Lord Takumi, what are you doing outside?!”
“I could ask you the same question.” he replied, going back inside. “Can we talk?”
“Of course, is something the matter?”
He didn't reply. They just went to his room, and shared cherries, sitting next to each other. Well, they weren't really sharing. Takumi knew he didn't ate since this morning. He maybe took three or four or them, and let him the rest.
“I... had a chat with Leo.” began the prince, making Zola stop eating to listen carefully. Now that he knew about it, he could see the sadness appear in the mage's eyes just by the mention of the other Nohrian. “And he told me to... make the first step.”
“I'm glad. I'm really happy for you-”
“I know you're lying.”
He never thoughts it would make him scared. What was going on in his head, making him so afraid of him?
“Just calm down and listen to me. I am not dating Leo. He's been with Niles for quite a while now, you know!”
“Then I don't understand.”
“Would you really be happy if I told you I was dating another person?”
It was more because now he was the one scared. Zola could like him back. But what if this isn't what he looked for? Takumi needed him to be scared to loose him, he wanted to be special.
“No I wouldn't. I would leave Hoshido.”
“You're a bit overreacting there...”
“I think it is time for me to go to sleep now. Good night Lord Takumi.” he replied, going to the door
“Don't be a coward!”
The words resonated in his head. Takumi took his hand, well aware it would have hurt him. Gosh he was messing everything !
“You told me you changed, right? Then stop running away! Stop running away from me all the time! Just tell me what's going on once for all!”
“I like you. And it's painful sometimes. Because I want you all for myself, I want to be the one who makes you laugh and smile. But it's selfish and unfair. And Lord Leo and you are close, and I fear him. I really do. And I don't want you to have to choose. And why on Earth would you like me, even?”
“I don't really know to be honest. But I really do. I mean, you're funny and pretty cute...”
“What are you saying?! Are you drunk?!”
“Well if that comfort you, you just have to think that I have weird taste if you want.”
Zola muttered something and tried to hide his huge smile with his free hand, holding tightly Takumi's. He felt so light, they both felt so much better.