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Auras weren't something Ritsu had ever really known about until he Awakened.
And so it was a shock to him when color came bursting out of his fingertips that first time, something visible but not physical. It takes up his whole field of vision and tints everything he touches. Ritsu gets good at controlling it - wrapping it around spoons and soda bottles and bodies.
And at first he loves to watch it. His aura is made up of so many bits and pieces, all of them constantly moving and tumbling past each other. There's always something to catch his eye and it's everything he's worked for for years.
But it is his aura, after all. So of course Ritsu eventually finds something to hate about it.
The longer he stares, the more he sees it. Those bits and pieces remind him less and less of light and color and more of shattered glass.
It's something dangerous, a hazard. Mishandling it will draw blood and leave scars. An indication of where people shouldn't go, everyone knows to avoid buildings with broken out windows. Sharp, jagged, painful.
How completely and utterly fitting.
Ritsu has the thought that he should wrap himself up in black and neon yellow tape, CAUTION CAUTION CAUTION. Even if it won't put all the pieces back together again, it would appropriately warn people from getting too close. Danger - Do Not Cross.
(This suits him even more than the Caution sign, Ritsu thinks. His reputation as Kamuro Shinji's attack dog has endured. He's now known as someone who is not to be crossed.
And he's awful enough that he doesn't care, he even likes it that way.)
It's not until the incident with the Seventh Division that Ritsu gets to see Shigeo's aura. And even then, everything is moving too fast and chaotic for him to really get a look at it. Between trying to keep up a barrier and keep his head attached to his shoulders (both literally and not), there just isn't the time.
But he is curious. If he sees so much of himself in his own aura, what must his brother's look like?
After a couple days of gauging Shigeo's mood, he figures it's safe enough to approach one night after dinner. Ritsu steps just right down the hall so that he hits every creaky floorboard and knocks on Shigeo's door just right that it's not too loud to startle. It's a routine he had learned to memorize after coming home from the hospital with stitches in his scalp.
"Come in."
Ritsu pokes his head around the door, lingering with his hand on the handle. Shigeo is sitting hunched in the middle of his futon with a manga open on his lap. He seems to perk up when he notices who it is, though and sets his book off to the side. "Oh, hello, Ritsu."
Ritsu runs through his mental inventory as he gives a similar greeting, settling onto the floor in front of the door. Shigeo's hands are open, hair laying flat, no stress creases to be seen on his face (although his bangs make it hard to tell...). His back is still slouched, but that's normal for him. Shigeo slouches in the way that someone does to make themself seem smaller, despite being shorter than Ritsu.
(Still ok.)
"Nii-san...can you show me something? I want to see your aura again."
"Mm." Shigeo holds one hand out between them, no questions asked. Ritsu wonders at what he ever did to earn not being questioned...but then the thought is replaced with pure fascination. He watches wide eyed as a wave of colors manifests itself right in Shigeo's open palm. As it swells outward, Ritsu can begin to see the shapes in it.
It's neat in order, a crystalline structure of shimmering circles. The repetition reminds him of Shigeo's determination and steadiness, he's not someone who's easy to sway. The lights shift as Ritsu watches and the circles seem to spin, nothing falling out of place but still constantly moving. It suits his brother, who is always quietly working towards some great goal. The blues and purples in it are almost similar to Ritsu's own, but Shigeo's are deeper and calmer than his. Ritsu is too bright and sharp and chaotic in comparison.
The aura slowly retracts, wrapping around Shigeo like a superhero's cape. It's almost hard to believe that this is something that's been such a huge part of Shigeo's life and Ritsu is only just now seeing it. They've been living in the same house, been together almost every day, but he had never even known.
"What about yours, Ritsu?"
Ritsu's thoughts hit a full stop. He hadn't considered that Shigeo would ask the same of him.
"Mine is...nothing special. Certainly not as grand as yours, Nii-san. It's not worth a viewing." Ritsu rapidly tries to backpedal. Showing this feels like it's too much, he's not prepared for it.
"Oh... You don't want to? Well...I'm sure it looks amazing, since it's yours." There's still a tiny smile on his lips, but Shigeo is looking down now, down at the space between them.
Ritsu shoves his hand out and wreaths it in aura before he can back out again.
Shigeo is immediately watching, but now Ritsu is the one that can't look up. It feels like putting all of the worst parts of himself on display.
...But this is Shigeo, after all. This is his older brother who forgave him and saved him and was happy for him, even after knowing what he'd done. So Ritsu forces himself to look.
Shigeo is staring into the writhing mess of blues, purples, and pinks, eyes following different broken shards as they twist upwards. "Ritsu...it's so pretty."
"It's...what?" Do auras maybe look different to different people? Does Shigeo see something completely unique to what Ritsu does?
"It's so pretty! Shishou has a book-" Ritsu's mood curdles for a fraction of a second. "-about gems from where he gets crystals for exorcisms and charms. It looks like one of those. It looks beautiful, like a blue opal."
Shigeo reaches out to him, fingers hovering right over Ritsu's palm, and something jolts through him when pieces meet whole circles. It's like the sudden awareness of his environment when someone flips on the lights after he's been sitting in the dark for too long. Shigeo's hand pulls back in shock and it disappears, Ritsu is left blind again.
They both stare at each other before Ritsu carefully reaches out and Shigeo meets him halfway.
It's only a little less startling this time when their auras flow together, mixing in just slightly. Sensation sweeps across Ritsu, but it's not in a physical sense, it's not like anything he's experienced before. A Feeling as opposed to a feeling.
"I didn't know auras Felt like anything."
"Me, neither..."
"Wait, Nii-san, you haven't done this before?"
"Oh...no. It seems like whenever I meet another esper, we just end up fighting..."
Ritsu decides not to linger on the fact that the first time they had met as espers, he'd immediately tried to challenge Shigeo to a battle, too. He is absolutely going to linger on how his brother met that shady Hanazawa guy, later, though.
Shigeo twists his hand and Ritsu has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from warning him not to cut himself. "Ritsu...do you think all of them Feel like summer? Or just some?"
"...Tell me what you mean by summer." He knows by now to ask specifically if he wants details.
"It Feels...it Feels like when we would go to the river during the summers when you were little. Like dipping your feet into water while the current rushes by. It's cool and it pulls, but it Feels nice."
When was the last time they had done something like that together? Too long. But this means that not all auras Feel the same after all, because Shigeo's is different. It's only got one trait in common.
"You Feel cool, too, but also...hard and smooth?" Ritsu isn't quite sure how something that's not even physical can have a level of hardness to it, but that's the impression it somehow gives. "You're like marbles rolling across my skin." Except it's across his entire spiritual being, across his very soul, but he's not quite sure how to explain that.
It's not just the almost-but-not-quite physical sensations, either. It's somehow just...comfortable. Welcoming. Like home. Ritsu feels more relaxed, more at ease, than he has in a long, long while.
Shigeo hums in response and they both sit in comfortable, companionable silence until Ritsu makes himself leave to start on his homework.
Afterwards, Ritsu gets what is maybe the best night of sleep he's had in years.
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Cold, hard, and smooth becomes something that Ritsu associates with comfort.
When one of them is feeling stressed, the other will reach out in invitation and the world suddenly feels just a bit less off-balance.
The glass jar on Ritsu's writing desk slowly fills with marbles over the years.
The sun catchers hanging in his study next to the furin throw little crystalline patterns all across the wall.
And they don't live together anymore, but Shigeo visits all the time, patting Ritsu's head every time he leaves so that he can feel the blue opal ring on his finger.