Chapter Text
Jemma could hardly even begin to wrap her mind around just how drastically her life had changed in a matter of days, or even just the past day alone. Just last week, she’d still been firmly within Kasius’s grasp, with no hope of that changing anytime soon, and resolved to her fate on the Lighthouse.
Now, she was freed, on a ship headed as far away as possible from the place that had been her home and her prison for her entire life.
And, of course, there was Fitz.
“Here,” Fitz said gently, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders and making sure it was secure before he retook his seat across from her on the bed in his bunk. “I should’ve warned you that it was colder out on the ship than it was on the Lighthouse.”
“It’s alright,” Jemma assured him, absently clutching the blanket and pulling it a bit tighter to ward off the chill. “So…you were talking about…your father?”
Fitz made a bit of a face at the reminder, but nodded, leaning back against the metal footboard of the bed and folding his hands together in his lap. “Yeah, right. Well, marauding was always my dad’s thing, you know? Didn’t know my mum; Dad always said that she died when I was young, but I’m not quite sure I believe him, not with the kind of man that he was. I grew up watching him lie and cheat and steal and kill, and…well, he did his best to raise me so that I followed in his footsteps, so that I could take over after he died. Which is exactly what I did, actually – didn’t have many other options, after all.”
“I’m so sorry,” Jemma murmured, leaning forward across the mattress to place her hand over both of his. She still wasn’t sure what gave her more of a thrill; the freedom to touch him without fear of being found out by someone that could hurt them, or the freedom to hear his voice as it curled so beautifully around his words. “That must’ve been horrible.”
He shrugged, turning one of his hands over beneath hers to slide his fingers between hers, his thumb caressing the skin of her wrist. “It’s nothing compared to what you’ve been through.”
Arching her eyebrows, she pointed out, “Who said we were comparing? Fitz, we’ve both been through awful things; why not just leave it at that?”
He raised his head slightly, his gaze flicking up to meet hers, and he studied her for a moment before a small smile ticked the corners of his lips upward. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. ‘Sides, what matters is…where we go from here, yeah?”
Unable to help herself, a wide, slightly breathless smile spread across Jemma’s face. “Yeah,” she replied softly. Though she still couldn’t quite believe that she was free of Kasius, and or that she was headed toward a much happier future with Fitz, it didn’t make moments like this one any less extraordinary.
Just the thought of a future with Fitz, one where she could feel this way all the time had a shudder rolling down her spine, her body trembling with the force of it as it passed through her.
“Are you still cold?” Fitz asked, his brow furrowing in obvious concern.
Jemma opened her mouth to assure him that she was fine, but before she could get the words out, Fitz had already scooted across the mattress to rest up against the headboard beside her. His arms wound around her, wrapping her up in his warmth, and any thought of protest vanished from her mind as she let out a content sigh instead.
“Better?” he whispered, his lips brushing against her temple as he spoke.
“Much,” she replied quietly, closing her eyes and leaning further into him, feeling truly safe for the first time in years. If there was one thing that she knew that she could trust, it was that Fitz would protect her – just as she would do everything that she could to protect him in return.
-
Doing his best to lie still so as not to disturb her, Fitz couldn’t help but gaze adoringly down at where Jemma had fallen asleep with her cheek pressed to his chest (right in the middle of their conversation, actually, and it had only served to increase his affection for her). He watched her back rising and falling with each breath, watched her eyelashes fluttering against her cheek, watched her parted lips as they released a quiet breath every few moments, utterly entranced by it all.
It had only been a handful of days since he’d first laid eyes on her, had only been a handful of hours since their escape from the Lighthouse, but he knew without a doubt that she was the best thing that had ever happened to him; he hadn’t felt this alive in so many years. In fact, he wasn’t sure that he’d ever even really lived his life until she’d come into it.
After the eventful past few days, he knew that he should be getting some sleep as well, could in fact feel the exhaustion settled deep within his bones, but he forced himself to stay awake, just so that he could watch her sleep peacefully for a little bit longer.
Carefully, so as not to disturb her, Fitz lifted a hand to brush a couple of strands of hair off her cheek, stroking his fingertips tenderly over her smooth skin. “Jemma,” he sighed, following the curve of her jaw with his index finger until he could lightly thumb at her bottom lip. She was just so beautiful, so absolutely incredible, and he didn’t think that he’d ever get over the novelty of being able to touch her, to hold her, to love her.
And he did love her, he was quite sure of it. Though Fitz hadn’t had much love in his life up until then, he knew that there was no other word to describe the way that he was drawn to her, the way that he treasured every breath that left her lips, the way that he would unthinkingly and without regret lay his own life down for hers. It had all happened so quickly, but it was love, and he would do absolutely anything to protect it, and her.
“Love,” he murmured to her sleeping form, just to test the word out on his lips, “Jemma, my love.” His hand shook, just slightly, and he had to swallow back the emotion building in his chest.
He was so preoccupied with his love for her, in fact, that he almost didn’t notice at first as her brow began to furrow, her lips tugging down into a frown. But, he did, and it had concern filling him, especially as she began to shift restlessly in his arms, her hand curling into a loose fist around the material of his shirt.
“Jemma?” Fitz prompted softly, pressing a comforting kiss to her forehead. When he noticed the dim light from the stars outside the window catching on her tears, his concern ratcheted up another level. “You’re alright, Jemma, you’re alright.” He gave her shoulder a gentle shake, then cupped the back of her head in his hand and leaned in to kiss away her tears, whispering against her skin, “I’ve got you, Jemma, I’m here, you’re alright.”
Finally, her body stilled just before she sucked in a sharp breath, her eyes flying open. For a moment, she glanced around his darkened bunk frantically, but when her eyes landed on his face, she seemed to calm slightly. “Fitz,” she gasped out, the hand fisted in his shirt tightening.
-
“What’s wrong, Jemma? Talk to me; what’s wrong?”
Fitz’s words sounded too loud in her ears, as though he was yelling them at her, and combined with her heart pounding and the roaring engine of the ship, Jemma had to squeeze her eyes closed and clap her hands over her ears. She took a handful of sharp, hurried breaths, another wave of hot tears pouring down her cheeks.
But, as soon as her eyes were closed, she saw it all over again; her parents, their lips moving as they spoke soundlessly, their expressions growing increasingly concerned as they tried to tell her something that she couldn’t hear no matter how hard she tried. And then, they were gone, only to be replaced by Kasius’s sinister smirk, by his voice whispering in her ear, too loud compared to the deafening silence, to do his bidding.
“Jemma, sweetheart, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Fitz whispered soothingly, one hand stroking up and down her back, his lips pressing gentle kisses every few moments to the top of her head. “I’ve got you, you’re alright, I’ve got you.”
In response to his words, she felt her heartbeat finally beginning to slow back down to a more normal rhythm, her hands falling away from her ears as her body relaxed from its tensed position. Taking a couple of deep, even breaths, she reopened her eyes. He was gazing back at her, looking incredibly worried, so she murmured, “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” Fitz repeated, his eyebrows darting up his forehead. “Jemma…” He moved his hand from her back up to curve along her cheek, his thumb swiping at the lingering tears there. “You don’t need to apologize, not to me and not for this, okay?”
She released another long breath, but nodded in understanding. “I just…” She shook her head, briefly squeezing her eyes shut once more, only to see her nightmare still playing there on the backs of her eyelids.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, softly, brushing his fingers through her hair and tenderly tucking a strand that had gotten stuck to her wet cheek behind her ear.
“I…” Jemma wanted to, of course, she knew that she could share anything with him, and that he would no doubt know just the words to say to make her ease her pain. But, she just couldn’t, not yet. So, she simply shook her head and buried her face in his chest as the tears fell once more, needing simply to be held by him.
And, Fitz seemed to understand, wrapping his arms back around her and holding her close, murmuring nonsense words of comfort to her as she cried, mourning the parents that she’d always hoped to see again someday but never had the chance to, and mourning all of the years that she’d spent as Kasius’s dutiful slave because of his terrible lies.
After some time, though, the tears began to slow, and she simply listened to Fitz’s heart beating beneath her cheek, and the soothing rhythm got her thinking. Despite the fact that she would always miss her parents and the fact that she would never stop being upset that they had died for absolutely nothing, she knew that they would be so happy to know that she was now far away from the Lighthouse and from Kasius, and well, she was quite sure that they’d be happy that she’d found love and a future in Fitz.
Love.
Her only previous experience with love had been her parents, of course, and that was clearly different from romantic love, so…it would stand to reason that she shouldn’t know that what she felt for Fitz was love. But, even just now, the way that he held her, comforted her, helped to ease her heartache…she knew that love was the only word for the overwhelming wave of emotion inside of her every moment that she was with him.
She didn’t know how it was that she became so lucky as to have him brought into her life, to be rescued by him, and to loved and be loved by him, but she wasn’t going to question her good fortune; she’d had too little of it for too long to do so.
And so, it was wrapped up in that love and the safety of it, that Jemma was able to eventually slip back into sleep, content in the knowledge that Fitz had her, and that he wouldn’t let anything happen to her.
-
The next morning, Fitz arrived in the small commissary of the ship to find his crew all assembled there already, as well as Daisy, everyone chatting amicably over their breakfast. “’Morning,” he greeted as he grabbed his own bowl and filled it with some of the fresh terran fruit that Enoch had managed to sneak from the Lighthouse onto the ship.
“Hey, where’s Jemma?” Daisy asked around a mouthful of food, peering behind him, as though she expected Jemma to be entering the room next.
“She’s still sleeping,” Fitz answered as he took a seat at one of the two tables there, across from Daisy and Elena, and next to Mack. He noticed Elena’s eyebrows arching as Daisy’s mouth split into a grin, and he rolled his eyes, snapping dryly, “Not a word, either of you, alright?”
Elena smirked, but dutifully went back to her breakfast. Daisy didn’t say anything either, but she mimed zipping her lips, then winked pointedly before doing the same.
“So, what’s our plan, Captain?” Coulson asked him from the other table, where he sat with May and Enoch. He usually used the term ‘captain’ when referring to Fitz either teasingly or affectionately, but it always felt a bit odd to Fitz; Coulson was older than him, after all, and truthfully felt a bit like the father his own had never been (not that he’d ever say that aloud, of course).
“Well, I promised Daisy that we’d drop her off at the next port, and while we’re there we might as well refuel and restock our supplies.”
“And what if Kasius sends his warriors after us for what you pulled back at the Lighthouse?” Mack questioned as he arched a skeptical brow, ever the rational one.
Fitz caught a glimpse of Daisy’s expression souring slightly, her eyes dropping to the bowl in front of her, though he couldn’t tell if it was guilt or fear that she was feeling. “I’ve had May double and triple-check that all of the proximity alarms are set, and she’s been on full-alert for anyone following us too closely; we’ll know in enough time to do something about it, alright?”
Mack still didn’t look fully convinced, but he nodded, agreeing, “Alright.”
Glancing around at the rest of his crew gathered there, Fitz suddenly felt as though he needed to explain himself, to make them understand why it was that he’d risked his life (and by extension, all of theirs) to save Jemma and Daisy. Clearing his throat to gain their attention, he began, “Look, I’m sure you all have questions and concerns about my actions back at the Lighthouse, but…but you weren’t all there, okay? Kasius had people as slaves, as unwilling fighters being sold to the highest bidder, and it wasn’t right. We’re all here because we…we want to do the right thing, yeah? And that felt like the right thing, so…if you want off of this ship at the next port, I won’t stop you, but I won’t apologize for what I did either.”
There was a beat of silence, then Coulson spoke up. “I didn’t have any questions or concerns to begin with, but if I did, I think they’d all have been answered by that. Thank you, Fitz.”
“Uh, you’re welcome,” Fitz replied, giving Coulson a small, grateful nod.
“It doesn’t hurt, though, that Jemma’s quite pretty, does it?” May commented suddenly, shooting Fitz a short, knowing look as she rose from the table, placing her bowl in with the other dishes that needed to be washed. And, with Fitz looking after her with his mouth hanging open slightly, she left the commissary to no doubt head back to the cockpit.
Another silence stretched between the group, then Fitz cleared his throat once more, ducking his head slightly to hide his burning cheeks. “That’s not – that’s…not relevant.”
“What isn’t?”
Fitz turned his head quickly to find Jemma just entering the room, fortunately looking a bit more rested than she had when he’d left her earlier. There was a small, slightly confused smile playing on her lips, no doubt in response to the way that everyone in the room was staring at her.
And, hastily, before anyone else could answer, he told her, “Uh, nothing. Nothing.”
-
After breakfast, Fitz and his crew had all gone off to take care of things for the day on the ship, and so Jemma found herself lounging with Daisy in the bunk that she’d been assigned the previous day. Daisy was sprawled on her bed, her legs crossed with her feet resting on the headboard, while Jemma was curled up on the little sofa adjacent to the bed.
“So…you’re staying with the Marauders, then?” Daisy asked suddenly, turning her head to meet Jemma’s gaze.
“Well…I suppose so, yes,” Jemma replied, not really having given thought to the fact that she had the option not to. “I can’t imagine not being with Fitz, and he’s really doing his best to use his father’s reputation and resources for good, not evil. It’s a worthy cause to be a part of, in my opinion, and I could use some of that in my life after spending so long working for Kasius.”
Daisy hummed thoughtfully at that, lacing her fingers together and laying them over her stomach. “I’ve been thinking about things, and…I dunno, maybe I should stay too.”
“Really?” Jemma asked in surprise, and she couldn’t help her brief flash of hope; other than Fitz, Daisy was the only friend that she really had, and she’d hate to lose her.
She gave a little shrug. “Yeah, sure, why not? I mean, I know my plan was always ‘get as far away from the Lighthouse as possible’, and Fitz promised to drop me off at the next port, but…well, I never really thought about what I’d do after that, y’know? But I’ve got these powers, and you said it yourself that Fitz is trying to do good, so maybe I could help with that.”
“I think that would be a wonderful use of your powers, Daisy,” Jemma assured her, “and I’m sure Fitz would be grateful for the help.”
“Yeah,” Daisy agreed quietly. “Either way, I’ll talk to him, see if we can work something out.” She was quiet for a moment, then she abruptly dropped her feet from the headboard, pushing herself into a sitting position so as to meet Jemma’s gaze fully. “So, I heard that you spent the night with Fitz.”
Startled at the sudden subject change, Jemma felt her mouth drop open, her eyes growing wide as she sat up straight. “What? I – I did not – well, I…did, but it wasn’t like that!”
Letting out an amused snort, Daisy held up her hands, as though telling Jemma to slow down. “Whoa, no need to get so defensive, Jemma! I was just teasing you, I promise.” She dropped her hands into her lap, then arched an eyebrow and pressed, “So…you guys didn’t sleep together, then? Because honestly, I’m a bit surprised – you were giving each other total bedroom eyes all the time on the Lighthouse.”
“Not…in that respect, no. I did sleep in his bed, but…no.” Jemma felt her cheeks flushing with heat, and averted her eyes from Daisy’s searching ones. It was at that moment, though, that she finally realized that, unlike Daisy, she hadn’t been assigned her own bunk on the ship. Instead, Fitz had just led her to his with him, and that was where she’d eventually fallen asleep. It hadn’t even occurred to her that such a thing was odd until just then.
When the silence began to lengthen, Jemma finally glanced back up to meet Daisy’s gaze, and found her studying her curiously. “Do you…want to?” Daisy pressed carefully after another moment.
Jemma blew out a breath, her cheeks once more beginning to burn with embarrassment. It was ridiculous; she was older than Daisy by at least five years, but she was starting to feel like the young and inexperienced one in the conversation. “It’s not…that I don’t want…” Letting out a short sigh, she finally admitted, “It’s just that I understand the biology behind all of this, the chemical reactions in our brains that cause love and lust, but relationships, romance…it’s all beyond me.”
Sure, she’d kissed a handful of boys that she’d known when she was younger, she’d had brief crushes and infatuations, but that was the extent of her experience on the subject. She’d been a servant to Kasius for almost a decade before Fitz had come along, and before that her focus had been on survival, not something as trivial as romance.
“Well, you seem to be doing pretty good with Fitz from what I’ve seen.” Daisy was quiet another moment, then said gently, “Jemma, it’s all a lot easier than you’re making it out to be. There isn’t some…you know, perfect equation for love and sex and relationships. If it feels right, then it probably is. If you love Fitz, then that’s what matters, not thinking every step that you guys take together to death before you take it. And, if it doesn’t feel right, if you want to slow things down – I mean, you guys have been going pretty fast up till now – then talk to him. Fitz is a good guy, and he’ll understand. Okay?”
Though it felt a bit odd to be on the receiving end when she’d been the one instructing and helping Daisy just days ago, Jemma was grateful for the advice, offering Daisy a warm smile as she nodded. “Thank you, Daisy.”
“Sure thing.” There was a pause, then she added, “But you totally have to tell me all about it when you finally do go through with it.”
“Daisy!”
And Daisy’s laughter filled the little bunk, shortly joined by Jemma’s – though it wasn’t long before the sound of it was cut short by the shrill cry of the proximity alarm.