Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Derek Nurse sat looking out the window, watching as green pasture land slid by him in neat swatches. The landscape on this side of the Cape was so incredibly peaceful, the neat fences and long straight rows of crops, all stretched out underneath the beaming May sun. He knew that as they rounded towards the other side of Cape Cod the land would start to become narrower as the stretch of land got pulled further from the mainland into the sea, but here it spanned as far as he could see on either side of the truck. Though he would never, never , admit it to Will, he thought it was breathtaking the way everything looked so saturated and picturesque. Despite how calming the landscape looked, Derek was getting increasingly anxious as they rumbled closer and closer to their destination. He wasn’t sure what in the hell he was doing, sitting across from Will on the worn bench of the pickup, listening to a static-laden radio station that had been working its way through every song Bruce Springsteen had ever even thought about thinking about since they had started this journey. Derek desperately wanted to change the station, but that would involve moving and calling attention to himself, and he had been doing his best impression of a statue for too long to give it up now. Maybe if he just sat still, his heart rate would eventually go back to normal. That or he would wake up from what he was sure was a fucking nightmare, because there was no way sane, awake Derek would have agreed to spend the entire summer with Will at his uncle’s place.

He was doing the breathing exercises the campus counselor had taught him, breath in for four seconds, hold for seven, breath out for eight. In, hold, out, in, hold, and out. Maybe if he kept counting his breaths he could stop thinking the same thought that had been rattling around in his brain since he had gotten into this pile of rust and rubber - how the hell am I going to live with Will all summer?

It wasn’t that he didn’t like Will. It was just that Will made him do and say stupid things, and he didn’t want to wreck the delicate balance their friendship had managed to find in the past couple months. Derek slid his eyes across the dashboard to look at Will, who was silently mouthing the words to the song. Will had one hand resting on the top of the steering wheel, the other lazily tapping out a beat on the gear shift. Derek thought this was quite possibly the most relaxed he had ever seen him, and was sorely tempted to chirp him about it, but didn’t want to chance getting Will mad at him before the summer had even properly started. Though some might not believe it after hearing some of the shit that came out of his mouth, Derek did have some restraint. Will coughed awkwardly as Derek continued to stare at him.       

“We’ll be there in about another hour.” He didn’t take his eyes off the road as he spoke.

“If you didn’t drive like my gran then we could already be unpacking you know.” Derek smirked at Will when he flushed further, tightening his grip on the shifter.

“Not everyone has the money to pay for goddamn speeding tickets Nurse.” Will grit out before turning his attention back to the road, cutting off any and all chances of further communication.

Good job bud, this is why you should never fucking talk. He couldn’t even count on the radio to save him, as they finally hit the edge of the frequency and Bruce was lost completely. He reached over to fiddle with the dial to try to find literally anything else, just to give himself something to do, but Will reached over and shut the radio off with a sigh. Derek pursed his lips and curled in on himself, staring out at the fields again.

Sometimes he felt like he and Will were really getting somewhere, that they could actually be friends like him and Chowder, but he could never seem to get the easy banter going. Words were what he was best at and yet they always seemed to fail him where Will was concerned. Maybe it would be better if they just didn’t talk for right now.

~~~

Dex wanted to shake Nursey sometimes. Nursey couldn’t even drive, and still he wanted to tell Dex he was doing everything wrong. He didn’t think that he’d ever heard Nursey tell him he’d done something well, and he didn’t think that it would ever happen. Whatever, Dex didn’t need Nursey’s stamp of approval on everything he did. With the radio off, there was no sound in the truck other than the rumble of the engine and the slight whistle of air through one of the windows, where he hadn’t been able to repair a bad seal. When he was alone he didn’t mind the sounds of the road, but it was now incredibly obvious how awkward this drive was. Nursey wasn’t even looking at him anymore, and those three sentences had been all they’d said to each other since leaving Providence. Inviting Nursey to spend the summer was clearly the worst fucking idea he’d ever had in his entire life so far, and would likely hold position one on the list of stupidity until he died. Nursey, the child of New York socialites, was going to spend the summer lobster fishing with him and his uncle in fucking Cape Cod. Yup, he was a damn idiot.

The only reason they were in this mess is because it had felt like a punch in the gut to hear Nurse say he was spending the summer alone because his parents were going to be travelling for the entire break. It wasn’t like the team didn’t know that Nurse didn’t have the most loving parents, but normally he seemed so chill about it. But sitting there hearing everyone else’s plans for the summer, Nursey had looked sadder than Dex had ever seen him, and he couldn’t stop himself from telling Nurse that he sure as fuck wasn’t going to let him hole up in New York for four months. Of course, he’d expected Nurse to assure him he’d be fine alone and for the whole thing to get brushed aside. Before he even knew what had happened, Chowder was already chattering about how excited he was for his two best friends to spend the summer together, and how he was going to have to come visit them, and how it was just too perfect.

And now here he was, driving to his uncle’s house for the summer with Nursey. He didn’t know why Nursey had agreed to this, or honestly how he’d managed to end up here, but he was going to have to make the best of it. Hell, had Nursey even done a day of manual labour in his life? Bit late to be asking now, and he was sure that if he insinuated he was too weak to do the work, Nursey would be both insulted and dangerously determined. If this ride was proving anything, it was that life was better when Dex shut the fuck up.

That was the problem with them, there was this line they couldn’t coss, but neither one of them was actually sure where it was day to day, and they could only seem to find it by stepping right over it. This tentative friendship between them was one of the most fragile things he’d ever had in his life, and he desperately didn’t want to fuck it up, not when they’d been playing so well together. Dex scrubbed a hand over his face before thumping it back onto the wheel and looking over at Nursey, who was pointedly looking out the window. This was his first time out on the Cape, and Dex was sure that at least some of his interest in the scenery was genuine, because there really wasn’t any other place like it. Maybe Nursey could write some poetry about it, that would make him happy.

“My uncle is pretty cool, kinda the classic bachelor. I think you’ll like him.” Dex felt compelled to say something, anything, and not for the first time he wished he could read Nursey’s mind.

“Do you spend a lot of time with him?” Nursey didn’t quite turn to look at him when he spoke, and Dex could tell he was trying to be nonchalant about the question. They normally didn’t talk about their personal lives, it just ended with them fighting most of the time.

“I spend most summers out here. We got along really well, Jamie and I. Even when I was too young for fishing, I’d stay with him for a couple weeks and just ride along with him on the boat.” Dex had very few early memories, but nearly all of them were of him on his uncle’s boat. He used to just toddle around after Jamie, and he had had a small stuffed lobster that he carried with him around the boat. He had a scar on his right hand from where he’d gotten pinched by a lobster he’d gotten too close to, and he remembered his mother yelling at Jamie over the phone. When he’d hung up Jamie had told him ‘Strong boys have scars,and you’re going to be a strong one Billy. Don’t you ever forget your first lobster fight.’ with the proudest smile on his face.

It was a strange and hazy memory, one he’d probably never share with another living soul, but it was one of his most prized from childhood. Dex shook his head, aware that Nursey was saying something to him, but he’d been too busy thinking about goddamn lobsters to hear him.

“What was that?” Dex blinked at Nursey a couple times, still clearing the memory from his mind.

“I asked why you chose to work with him instead of at your other uncle’s repair shop.” Nursey shook his head at Dex

“I like being outside, I guess. Plus Jamie’s the youngest of my uncles, so he’s the most ‘relatable.” Dex formed air quotes around the last word and Nursey flailed his hands in panic as Dex took his hands off the wheel. Dex just laughed and settled them back on the wheel.

“If it’s ok to ask, what do your parents actually do for a living? They seem to travel a lot.” Dex was careful not looking at Nursey directly as he spoke, but watched him in his peripheral vision. Nursey’s parents were always a bit of a tough subject, but Dex figured that now was a good a time as any to broach the subject, they were nearly having a normal conversation so he might as well ruin it.

“Maria is an heiress, so she mostly manages her parents’ stock and companies. Robert is a corporate attorney, but he travels worldwide for his cases and Maria goes along with him.” This is how it always was when anyone asked Nursey about his family, he would answer the question and offer absolutely no extra information. On top of that, it always weirded Dex out how Nurse referred to his parents’ by their first names. When Dex was younger and trying to be cool in front of his friends he’d called his mom by her first name and she’d pulled the ever classic ‘oh you’re so grown up, you clearly don’t need me anymore’ routine on him. He definitely hadn’t ended up looking cool.

Dex desperately wanted to ask more questions, be for once he could sense that he was already right on the line and that pressing for anything more intimate woul d topple him right over. He had another four months to probe Nursey about his personal life, so he just let the awkwardness sit between them for the rest of the ride. They sat with the hum of the engine and the whistle of the window to keep them company until finally Nursey started playing his hipster music off his iPhone.

This was going to be the longest summer of Dex’s life.  

Chapter Text

As they slowed to a halt outside an old colonial, Derek was surprised to see a small, white-haired lady sitting on the porch steps. Will hadn’t mentioned any women living on the premises, and so Derek wasn’t too sure what to make of the wizened old woman.

“Your uncle is looking pretty good for his age there, Dex.” Derek smirked at Will, who simply rolled his eyes at the weak chirp.

“That’s my grandma, you ass, she lives with Jamie, or wait- he lives with her.” Will raised his hand towards his grandma, who set aside whatever she was doing and stood, waving back at them.

Derek felt a little uneasy at the unexpected prospect of meeting Will’s grandmother. While he was all too aware just how charming he could be, he didn’t have much experience with grandparents who actually wanted to talk to you. It’s not like he could afford for her not to like him, they were going to be in close quarters for the rest of the summer. On top of that, he knew how much family meant to Will, and how angry he’d be with him if he fucked this up. In, hold, out, in, hold, and out. He closed his eyes briefly and focused on his breathing.

Will parked up against the curb before killing the engine, and he was already out of the truck before the rumbling of the motor had stopped. He jogged over and scooped his grandmother up in a big hug, spinning her once around before setting her back on the ground. As he got out, Derek could hear the laughter of both grandmother and grandson, clearly happy to be reunited again. Derek drifted over cautiously, smiling at the sight of Will being so openly loving with someone. Will caught a glimpse of him in his peripheral as he approached and started to blush, taking a step back from his grandmother. Derek rolled his eyes and smiled at him before turning to the tiny woman in front of him.

“I’m Derek Nurse, ma’am. It’s very nice to meet you.” Derek extended his hand to her, but she just squinted at him and stepped in for a hug. By the time he’d gotten with the program and had moved to hug her back, she had already stepped back from him, holding him at arms length to examine him. Now it was Derek’s turn to blush, entirely in new territory and decidedly uncomfortable.

“Welcome to the Cape. You’re a right fool if you think you can act like a stranger in our home, so you’d just as soon get comfortable with us.” She smiled and patted his arms before letting him go, turning back towards the house.

“You’ll call me Gran or Mary, I won’t do with any ‘ma’am’ in my own damn home.” She called over her shoulder, and Derek could hear the laughter in her voice. Ok, so that hadn’t gone as badly as it could have.

Will laughed at her and walked back to the truck to begin grabbing their belongings. He dropped the bags over the side of the box onto the grass, then motioned for Derek to actually move to go and pick them up before hopping down. He jogged back to the truck and slung his bag over his shoulder waiting for Will to do the same and lead the way into the house. Mary was waiting for them at the top of the stairs, holding what Derek had thought were knitting needles, but was actually a knife and a block of wood. Derek’s grandmothers wouldn’t be caught dead doing something as unladylike as carving, and he found himself grinning at the novelty of it.

“Jamie’ll be home soon, and I’ll have food on the table when he gets here, so you’d best go put your things away quickly.” She said before heading into the house, the boys trailing after her.

The house was small, and the inside was warm, incredibly cozy and not what Derek expected  at all from ‘bachelor fisherman Jamie’. The whole house was done up in nautical theme, but without the cheesiness he so often saw in New York homes which attempted the same thing. I guess that’s because New York socialites don’t actually fish. It probably also helped, he thought, that Jamie didn’t actually live alone but had his mother to help with the house. Most of the walls were painted a soft grey-blue that reminded Derek of rocky beaches, the accent walls being a clean white. He realized he was spaced out standing in the entryway, and managed to tear himself away from the decor to see an even more appealing sight. Will looked perfectly at home here. Normally he looked uncomfortable and out-of-place everywhere he went, so it was a nice surprise to see him somewhere he felt at home. Will was waiting patiently for him to follow him, and when finally Derek nodded at him, he headed to the staircase, the whole wall lined with Poindexter family photos. Every photo contained people who looked startlingly similar, making it hard initially for him to tell which photos were of Will and his immediate family, and which were his cousins. He managed to find one that he was sure was Will and his siblings, but couldn’t be completely sure. He didn’t actually know how many siblings Will had because he’d never asked. Looking at the photos, he felt like a complete ass for not knowing more about Will’s family, even though Will rarely appreciated questions about his personal life, and would change the subject if asked for information. Still, he was going to be spending the summer with him, and Derek didn’t even know any of their names.

“Hey, who are all these kids with you? You guys trying for your own Irish Children's Choir?” Derek inquired, pointing at a photo he was sure was of Will, the big ears giving him away. Will looked maybe eight, and was holding a little blonde girl in his lap. Beside him was an older girl in poorly applied makeup, clearly trying to look older than she was, holding a little boy in her lap. The whole gaggle was sitting on the steps of this house, their smiles were awkward and genuine, and it struck Derek as odd that they would hang a picture where you couldn’t tell what the thing being celebrated was. It wasn’t a Christmas or New Year photo, and no one was holding a medal or certificate. What was the occasion that was special enough to commemorate?  

“Those are my siblings, you twit. We’re even missing one in that picture.” Will snarked, moving further up the stairs, dropping his bag to tap another photo. This one featured the same four from the first picture, clearly older in this photo, but with an additional toddler in the mix. The five children were standing on the beach, ankle deep in the water as they grinned at the camera. The little boy was clinging to Will’s leg, staring up at him in blatant hero worship.

“You’ve got my older sister Muirin, me, my younger sister Brighid, my younger brother Cairbre and then little Earnán.” Will pointed at each of the faces in turn. Derek quietly repeated the names to himself as Will said them, trying to remember them despite knowing that he’d likely not be able to pronounce them out loud.

“Brah, why does everyone else have names that could’ve been in Braveheart but you got William?” Derek frowned at Will, who was starting to blush up the back of his neck. It didn’t make sense for parents who were so clearly sticking to a theme to just deviate on their second child.

“Braveheart was a Scottish movie, dude. We’re Irish. If you’re gonna reference historically inaccurate movies, at least reference one that pertains to me.” Will avoided the question, the blush creeping into his cheeks.

“Dude, stop dodging the question.”

Will was glaring at him, lips pursed as he refused to answer. Derek had no idea what Will was hiding but he knew it had to be good.

“Will, tell me! William, tell me your secrets.” Derek singsonged as he began to poke Will in the sides as he tried to escape up the stairs, his movement impaired by the railing and the bags at his feet.

“Williamm, Wiiiiiiiillliammmm…” Derek was now doing his best impression of a ghost, continuing to poke at Will until finally he burst out laughing as Derek hit the right spot on his side.

“Oh my god stop, stop!” Will was holding his sides and looking acusitorily at Derek, but he was smiling crookedly at Derek. He huffed out a breath and rolled his eyes before answering. And Will thinks I’m the drama queen. Ya sure dude.

“William is my english name, not my birth name.” Derek’s eyebrows shot up as he processed what he’d just been told.

“What?” was all the ever articulate Derek was able to get out.

“It’s Gwilym. I just go by William because it’s easier for people.”  Will looked like he was waiting for Derek to chirp him to hell and back, with a kind of resigned and tired expression on his face. He was sure it had been an absolute nightmare growing up with a name most crummy little kids couldn’t pronounce, and so he was probably waiting to get teased like usual. Derek sure as hell wasn’t going to live up to expectations, although he was sorely tempted - the bait was right there! It would be so easy to get in some quality chirps right about now, but he held back.

When finally he was sure that nothing else was coming, Will huffed out a breath before grabbing his bags, turning and jogging up the remaining steps.

~~~

Dex could have gone his entire life without revealing to Nursey his real name. It wasn’t like he was ashamed of it, but it was one of those things where he felt necessarily embarrassed about having a ‘fake name’. He had honestly expected the same teasing he’d gotten when he was younger, and was incredibly relieved when Nursey had refrained from commenting. All of them were stuck with traditional names, and while they appreciated the meaning and culture behind them, it was still difficult to make friends when you were little and couldn’t even say your own name. At this point he’d been William more than he’d ever been Gwilym, and Dex more often than William.

They reached the top of the stairs and Dex wandered down the short hall before turning into a bedroom on the front of the house. The room was painted the same pale grey he remembered, windows along the front of the room, with two twin beds pushed up against them. Dex had always been incredibly fond of the furniture in this room. His granny had made it all out of driftwood when she was younger, along with much of the other furniture in the house. She’d had less stiffness in her joints back then, which allowed her to work on bigger projects. He dumped his bags on the far bed against the windows, lying down on it and throwing a hand over his face. Sure, the drive hadn’t been particularly long, but he hadn’t slept well the night before and he was already mentally exhausted. He’d been too worried about bringing Nursey to meet his family to sleep much. He’s here, he’s met Gran, no one’s died. It’s good. He lifted his head to look at Nursey, who was standing awkwardly in the door, looking over the room.

“Not the luxury you’re used to?” Dex quipped. He knew that Nursey had all the best back home and even though Nurse had never said anything about Dex being poor, Dex was always worried that he would pity him for not being one of the New York elite.

“Shut up Dex, I was just looking around.” Nursey squinted his eyes in annoyance like usual when Dex referred to his privilege. Nursey shuffled over to the other bed and set his bags on the floor, reaching down to run a hand across the dresser beside him.

“Gran made that. The wood came from the beach here.” Dex wasn’t quite sure why he had told Nursey that, but it had something to do with the uncomfortable look that was still on his face as moved into the room. He felt the need to reassure him, but had absolutely no idea how, so random information was the best he had.

“Really? I don’t think my grandmas know how to make anything other than cocktails and rude comments.” Nursey said sarcastically.

Dex snorted at that, before sitting up and pulling open drawers and zippers to start unpacking. Slowly, Nursey did the same, becoming more comfortable in the room as time passed. They were quiet as they worked. Dex figured that it was mostly sharing a room with someone else that had Nursey on edge, but if they were going to share the attic next year then this summer would be good practice.

~~~

Derek had never been somewhere before that felt so blatantly like someone’s place. This whole place felt like a home to him, but this room with its neat beds, its sea-grey walls and homemade furniture felt so much like it belonged to Will that he felt like he couldn’t be in it. His brownstone in New York had been decorated by professionals, and his parents were rarely home, so there was nothing of their touch in the whole house. There were very few photos on the walls, and those that were up were only of Nursey making the most pleasant of faces while holding awards. Nursey’s own room had stopped looking lived-in after he’d gone to Ambrose, and he’d never bothered to decorate it again after coming home for the few months before moving to Samwell.

Now here he was, in a room that Will seemed so comfortable in, in a house that was bursting with character. There was evidence of the Poindexter family’s existence in every corner of the house; everything was personal and sentimental. For fuck’s sake, Granny made the furniture in here by hand. It just felt like he had walked into someone’s diary, like he was reading into Will’s past and he shouldn’t be seeing it.

It was Will who invited you here. He wants you here, you twit.

Everything about this place made Will come alive, from the colours of the walls to the people who lived here. Derek was happy to be here, he really was, he just didn’t quite like the strong juxtaposition between Will’s happy life and his own home life.

But Derek had a new family now, one that he’d chosen for himself. He had the Samwell Men's Hockey Team, he had Lardo. He had the people from his classes, and they were warm in a way his family had never been; the Haus was a home in a way the brownstone would never be.

Stop getting all sentimental because of dressers, where is your chill? Derek shook himself a little and realized that he had finished unpacking. His dresser was full, his toiletries laid out on the bedspread. He crawled onto his bed and leaned against the wall to look out the window. From the second floor of the house you could see the harbour in the distance, the waves lapping at the rocks.

“It’s beautiful here. It’s so cold and harsh you wouldn’t think it would be but it is. It’s really nice.” Derek could wax poetics about this view for ages, but he knew that Will didn’t care for poetry. He felt Will looking at him quizzically, but Will only hummed in response to the comment.

“Thanks for letting me spend the summer, man,” Derek said quietly, continuing to look out the window. When Will just nodded at him before huffing a breath and lying back down on the bed.

“Ma, I’m home! Where are the boys?” Derek heard a booming voice resonating from the first floor. Will grinned and started to walk towards the door as pounding steps resonated up the staircase.

Soon a tall, wide-shouldered redhead came bursting through the door, roaring a greeting at Will as he picked him up in a great bear hug. The man dropped Will back onto the floor and turned to Derek, striding forward.

“And you must be Derek!” The man held out his hand to Derek, who was relieved he wasn’t going to get scooped up. The man’s grip was impossibly strong, but he was beaming down at him through his thick red beard. Derek felt compelled to smile back at this bear of a man, who pulled him up off the bed and clasped him on the shoulder.

“I’m Billy’s uncle Jamie, but you can call me as you like. What say we get some supper in you, son?” Jamie was grinning at him again before he turned and abruptly walked out of the room, patting Will on the back as he exited. Derek was mildly stunned, staring at the doorway for several moments before turning to look at Will.

“He’s a bit of a friendly giant... I maybe should have warned you.” Will was smiling, rubbing the back of his neck over the spot it was swiftly turning red again.

Derek smirked at him, nodding towards the door as he moved forwards. Will got the message and led the way downstairs, not that it would have been difficult to find the dining room without him. Jamie’s voice was loud and warm, carrying through the house and making it feel alive.

Derek paused in the doorway for a second, closing his eyes and listening to the sounds of the family downstairs.  A home should be alive like this.

Chapter Text

The dining room table was a huge hunk of driftwood with a piece of clear glass balanced on the reaching branches. Derek was pretty sure he was in love with it. Will disappeared into what he assumed was the kitchen, reappearing with plates and silverware and Granny behind him carrying a large casserole dish. Derek reached over and grabbed the utensils off the top of the pile and set them out while Will laid out the plates. It was a quiet and domestic task, and he was happy to be doing it as he rarely did this kind of thing at home. It might have seemed commonplace to Will, but he was excited at the prospect of a family meal, even if it wasn’t his family. Once the table was set, he stood awkwardly to the side, unsure where he was supposed to sit. Will took pity on him and motioned to a chair, sitting opposite him. Granny returned from the kitchen with three glasses of milk and Jamie appeared with a mug of beer and a plate of oysters.

“We didn’t know if you liked oysters there Derek, so we cooked ‘em separate for you.” Jamie grinned at him and lifted the lid on the casserole dish, revealing a heaping mound of pasta in alfredo sauce.

“It’s Billy’s favourite, well, other than lobster, but really, what Poindexter wouldn’t take lobster 7 days a week?” Jamie laughed at his own joke before reaching for Derek’s plate. Derek sat quietly until he realized he had to say something to get Jamie to stop, quickly saying ‘that’s good!’ as the mound of pasta on his place threatened to be too much for even him to eat.

Jamie filled everyone’s plates then passed around the plate of oysters, letting Will go first. Derek watched carefully, totally unsure what he was supposed to do with an oyster, as his mother was allergic to shellfish so he had never eaten one before. When it was his turn with the plate he grabbed two, still watching Will to see what he would do with them. Will looked up and caught his eye then, with a confused look, he glanced down at Derek’s plate. Realization dawned on his face and he picked up an oyster and held it so Derek could see what he was doing. He used his knife to pry open the shell, then slurped the oyster up, following it up with a bite of pasta. When he was finished, Will nodded towards Derek’s plate.

Tentatively, Derek picked up an oyster from his plate and followed suit. He wasn’t totally enamoured with the flavour; it was altogether a bit of a watery experience for him, but he didn’t mind it with the pasta. When he had swallowed his oyster he looked up to find Will smiling at him, so he assumed he hadn’t completely embarrassed himself.

Dinner went smoothly. Jamie kept the conversation going with his boisterous personality, asking questions about Derek’s life and about his time at school with Will. Will only felt the need to kick Derek twice through the entire meal, which Derek thought was a success. The first time was when Derek nearly started a story about Winter Screw wherein Will had managed to get set up with a lacrosse bro and had gotten his nose broken, and the second had been the story of when Will had gotten so drunk off tub juice he’d thrown up on some girls. Derek had laughed Will off and switched to more family-friendly stories that probably wouldn’t get him killed in his sleep.

Granny, it turned out, had the driest humour Derek had ever encountered and a tongue like a knife. The few stories Jamie told about his mother interacting with the other townspeople were filled with her interjections on what she really thought of people, and her one-liners had him in awe. Derek decided then and there to pretend that Granny was his grandmother, at least for the summer.

After dinner, Will and Derek quietly cleared the table and did the dishes while Jamie and Granny went to sit out on the porch. The windows on the first floor of the house were opened up to let the evening breeze run through, and the smell of salt was homey in a way Derek hadn’t expected. When the dishes were safely stowed in the cupboards again, Will led Derek back up the stairs to a room just one door down from their bedroom. It was a small bathroom that someone had set up for two people to use. There were two baskets in each of the drawers and a toothbrush holder for two toothbrushes sitting on the counter. Derek smiled at the Poindexter’s thoughtfulness, once again feeling slightly out of depth in the house.

“Is it chill if I take a shower, brah?” Derek motioned towards the tub behind them.

“Sure, man, don’t use all the hot water though. Gran’ll be pissed.” Will gave him a serious look and walked out of the bathroom, Derek following to grab his things from the bedroom.

It was a short shower, just long enough to get the grime of traveling off. When he returned to the room, Will had all the bedroom windows open and was lounging on his bed in his boxers, an arm thrown over his face. Derek smiled at his friend, before also stripping down and crawling into his bed. The breeze coming in off the sea was just the right temperature to cool the room down enough for Derek to be warm under the blankets, how he liked to sleep best.

“Plans for tomorrow?” Derek asked as he propped himself up on his elbow to look at Will.  Will didn’t bother moving, answering back from under his arms.

“Just gonna hang around here, show you the town.” Will said, voice muffled by his arm.

“Sounds ch-” Derek began, cut off somewhat lazily by Will.

“Don’t say it.” Will sighed the words at him, rolling over towards the windows.

Derek smirked at the ceiling, letting the smell of the sea lull him to sleep.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Derek woke up to find that Will had already disappeared. He sat up groggily and reached for his phone, scrubbing a hand over his face to clear the sleep from his eyes. He was shocked to see it was already past nine am, he normally got up at six for his morning run, and had managed to train himself well enough while he was in Ambrose that he almost always woke up before his alarm even went off. He couldn’t allow himself to get soft this summer, no matter how soft his mattress was, or how calming the sound of the waves were.

He groaned and stood up, stretching himself out before glancing out the window. Derek was surprised to see bright streaks of sunlight piercing through the low cloud cover, spilling bright pools of sunlight onto the ocean. However, if the condensation on the window panes was anything to go by, it wasn’t t-shirt weather yet.

In a sweater and jeans, Derek headed downstairs for breakfast still unsure as to where the Poindexters were. As he passed by the front door on the way to investigate the kitchen, he heard hushed voices from the porch, discovered all three sitting on the steps. Will was leaning up against his grandmother’s legs, a lazy smile on his face as he finished off a bowl of cereal. Jamie was half asleep against the opposite railing, talking in a quieter voice than Derek thought he was physically capable of. Not wanting to disturb the trio, he took a step backwards to head to the kitchen but the floorboards creaked under his foot and three sets of eyes were suddenly on him. Jamie grinned at him, motioning for him to come outside.

“Good to see you’re up son. Have you had breakfast yet?” Derek was stunned by the fact that Jamie seemed to have totally changed from the man he had met the night before. Will’s uncle had become more subdued and calm, it was like the cool of the morning had quieted his temperament and all he would need to energize him again would be for the cloud cover to break.  Derek shook his head, his curly hair falling into his face. Sometimes he felt like the decision to grow out his hair was a terrible one.

“Nah, I haven’t had anything to eat yet. I’ll run to the kitchen and have something.” Derek said, turning to leave the porch.

“Dude just grab something and come back outside if you want.” Will offered, and Derek smiled back at him. Despite the offer to stay for the summer, he hadn’t really expected to already be so involved in family time, and it made his chest feel tight in a not unpleasant way.  

Once back in the kitchen, he saw that Will had left the cereal out on the counter for him, which was surprisingly thoughtful of him. When he had his breakfast together, Derek returned outside, settling on the top step. The wood was cold beneath him, but the morning air was fresh and clean, and the sound of birds reached him from the shore.

Derek wasn’t really paying attention to the conversation, Granny was quietly talking with the occasional interjection from Jamie, but Will was nearly silent save for the occasional hum. Derek was happy to just sit and eat his breakfast, letting the coastal air wash over him. He realized that the smell of salt water was quickly being catalogued in his brain as ‘comforting’, which was startling to say the least.

“You almost done Nurse?” Will asked as he turned on the steps to look at him.

Derek realized that he had completely zoned out while looking at the cape, and that his remaining cereal was well on its way to being soggy.

“Ya man, give me a sec.” Nursey replied, blinking dazedly at Will. He quickly scooped the last of his cereal into his mouth, swallowing the somewhat mushy lump. He stood as he drank the milk from the bottom of the bowl, brandishing the bowl at Will as he finished.

“You didn’t have to choke it down, you twit.” Will rolled his eyes at him, but stood up and grabbed his bowl from the step beside him. He bent to kiss his grandmother on the cheek before climbing the steps, motioning for Derek to go into the house.

Derek held the screen door open for Will, smirking at him and bowing slightly. Will flushed and glared at him, silently flipping him the bird as he moved past him. Derek chuckled quietly, following him in, letting the door swing shut. I had never even seen a screen door before coming to Providence, and now it’s just a fixture of every single place I live in. Derek felt himself startle a little, almost losing his footing. Where did that come from? I don’t live here. God Derek, chill the fuck out.

~~~

It didn’t take long for Dex and Nursey to do the dishes, seeing as they only had the two bowls and spoons. If this had been the Haus then the dishes would have slowly turned into a mountain, but his grandmother insisted that dishes be done as soon as you were finished eating off them, which made sense once you had seen what happened if they weren’t. Dex didn’t really have a formal plan as to what they were going to do, but he figured that a tour around the town would be a good place to start.

Nursey was already dressed and seemed ready to go, calmly leaning against the table and staring out the window past Dex’s head. Dex followed his gaze and decided that they wouldn’t bother taking the truck, the cloud cover looked like it would break soon enough.

“Come on man, I’ll show you around the town.” Dex said as he started to walk to the door. He heard Nursey coming after him, and just as he was about to pass through the door, Dex turned back.

“Are you going to be cold?” Dex blushed for having asked, Nurse certainly didn’t need to be parented, but no way was he putting up with Nursey bitching about being too cold.

“Aw you worried about me mom?” Nursey smirked at him, but still looked over Dex’s shoulder to consider the weather again.

“I wasn’t that cold when we were on the porch. Is it going to be colder in town?” Nursey’s eyes snapped to his, and Dex felt himself startle a little at just how green they were. It was always a little bit of a surprise when you got hit full on with Nursey. After all the lectures on toxic masculine culture from Shitty, anyone on campus could agree that Nursey was objectively gorgeous. Dex just wasn’t used to having anyone that gorgeous of any gender pay him any mind.

“It’ll probably get windy, here.” Dex grabbed his jacket off the rack by the door and tossed it to Nursey. Nursey thanked him and pulled it on, following him out the door. Granny and Jamie were still sitting on the steps, watching the gulls as they circled over the water. The two made their way carefully down the steps between the sitting pair, Dex briefly considering offering Nursey his hand so he wouldn’t wipe out and injure someone. Luckily there wasn’t a catastrophe, and the two were heading off across the yard with a word and a wave goodbye before Granny’s voice stopped them.

“Glad to finally have another Poindexter in the family.” You could practically hear her smirking, the laughter evident in her tone.

Nursey turned to Dex, totally confused, before the two turned to look at Granny laughing on the steps. She waved her hand at Nursey, who looked down at himself before starting to laugh. Flushing to the tips of his ears, Dex realized he’d given Nursey his track jacket, his last name stretched across Nursey’s shoulders.

“You want more Poindexters? Talk to Muirin about getting that boyfriend of hers to propose. Don’t wait on me.” Dex belatedly realized that when his sister got married she would effectively no longer be a Poindexter, but his brain had scrambled for anything to say. While his siblings and cousins endured the familial ribbing about getting married and having kids, Dex had demonstrated at a young age that he did not respond well to talking about his nearly non-existent love life. This was probably the first time since his last girlfriend in highschool that anyone had mentioned something of this sort to him, he rationalized to himself, that was obviously why he’d been so thrown off.

Nursey laughed and clapped Dex on the shoulder, saluting Granny and Jamie before turning and heading for the road. With a quiet grumble, Dex turned and caught up with him, leading the way towards the heart of the town. Truro was a fairly small cape town, the population swelling in summer as the city dwellers migrated out to the ocean for some respite from the smothering heat of the mainland. Dex loved being in town when fall hit and the little houses cleared out, loved watching as the town’s population seemed to shed its fat. It was a thrilling kind of feeling, being left standing in the streets when everyone else was gone, like you’d survived some battle or won some race. There was a feeling of both peace and victory to seeing the town shrink, to being one of the few to see it like it was in it’s dormant months.

The boys were quiet as they walked, heading uphill slightly to where the bulk of the town sat overlooking the water from a small rise. The land fell away from the main street on both sides, giving way to the houses and rock. Nursey came to a stop at the end of the street, mouth slightly open, eyebrows raised a fraction.

“It looks like a movie,” Nursey whispered, seemingly afraid to disturb the picture he saw before him. Dex smiled, a strange pride burning in his chest. Sure he didn’t live here in Truro but this was his people’s place, the place where they fished and came to table.

“I’m glad you like it man, you should see it in the winter when the snows hit,” Dex smiled at him before starting down the sidewalk. Several of the year-round residents were milling about as the pair made their way down the street, and they waved at Dex as he passed. They looked slightly curious at Nursey, but with nothing more than a smile from him, he had them beaming back. He’s got to be the most charming bastard I’ve ever met in my fucking life. Dex spotted the store he was looking for and hurried over, trying not to feel too smug about thinking to bring Nursey here, while the aforementioned trailed after him.

There was a small sign hanging from the awning outside the building, a carved wooden book with it’s pages spread open. Dex figured if there was anything in Truro that Nursey would really enjoy, it would be the bookstore. Looking over his shoulder, Dex saw that Nursey was staring inside the window of the store at the shelves, a tiny smile on his face. Nursey swung his head to look at Dex and quirked an eyebrow at him. For what was probably the hundredth time since meeting him, Dex wished he could debonairly raise one eyebrow.

“A bookstore?” Nursey asked with what could only be awe in his voice. Dex was a little hurt that Nursey didn’t think he’d consider taking him somewhere he’d enjoy.

“No Nursey, it’s a fucking porn shop,” Dex grumbled at him.

“Well then you’ll have to let me buy you a present,” Nursey broke into a grin as Dex blushed, stammering. Nursey only laughed before opened the door and ushered him inside. Still blushing, Dex ducked his head and went. Nursey followed him in, but stopped nearly exactly in the middle of the doormat, staring through the dustmotes and thick-pane filtered sunlight. He looked starstruck, standing in awe of his surroundings with an expression on his face that was equal parts wistful and reverent.

Dex couldn’t find it in his heart to chirp him for it, it was something he figured he’d only see once in his lifetime. So he left him standing where he was, letting him soak in the store; the smell of the paper and bindings, the scars in the floor and on the shelves, the whisper faint sounds of the ocean filtering through the walls. Dex made his way to the counter, nodding at the girl behind it but not saying anything. She seemed to understand as she was watching Nursey too, a vague smile on her face. He finally started moving, drifting forward into an aisle, and in the quiet of the store Dex could hear him rasping his fingers across the book bindings. Good choice Poindexter. Gold fucking star for you! He had brought Nurse to the perfect place, and while Nursey’s proclivity for literature was well known as an English major, he still credited himself for putting in the effort to make his friend happy. The store cat wandered towards the front counter and Dex slowly lowered himself into a crouch in front of it, waiting for it to approach him. His thighs were just starting to complain when finally the cat decided he was worth his time and approached him. It purred happily as Dex petted it, pushing its head into his hand.

“Under her chin.” said the girl behind the counter, who had returned to reading her book once Nursey was out of sight.

Dex looked down at the cat again, then chucked it under her chin. The cat purred louder, rubbing it’s long thin body along Dex’s leg.

~~~

Derek felt a little lost as he wandered through the shelves of books. He had always seen these kinds of bookstores in movies, saw the style copied in upscale New York shops, but those places had felt hollow somehow. This whole place had a feeling, a deep soul to it that left him displaced with the depth of emotion he felt for every particle in the air, every nail in the floor, every peeling label. He was awash with a deep sense of calm at the perfectness of the place. He couldn’t even form words, he who always had words to say. So instead of trying to thank Will, Derek walked through the store. His every step creaked on the warped wood, his fingers trailing on the books. This place felt like poetry to him.

He didn’t know how long he spent like that, suspended in a sort of half-dream as he wandered around. It felt nearly religious to him, like when you walk the pews in a great cathedral. It was awesome. He rounded the last shelf to see Will crouched low in front of the counter with a huge white cat nearly in his lap, the girl running the shop reading her book. Derek approached the two, kneeling in front of Will to gently stroke the cat’s back. Will looked at him, smiling faintly while still petting the purring cat.

“Bro,” Derek said, not trusting himself to say more, not sure why he didn’t.

“Thought you’d like it here, you big nerd,” Will grinned at him, the chirp without any barbs.

“Ya man, this is… I mean,” Derek motioned around the store, a small smile on his face.

“Don’t sprain something. You ready to go or you want to stay longer?” Will asked, no rush behind the question. He seemed perfectly happy to spend the afternoon on the floor getting covered in cat hair if Derek wanted to spend the day in the bookstore.

“No, no I’m ok. We can keep walking around. We can come back sometime though right?” Derek heard the girl exhale through her nose, turning the page. He wasn’t sure if she was laughing at him or her book and frankly he didn’t quite care.

Will climbed to his feet, the cat yowling as it was moved from his lap to the floor. Derek smiled at it, moving his way to the door to hold it open for Will. Will rolled his eyes, waved at the girl behind the counter and walked outside.

The rest of the day moved by without any such dramatics as went on in the bookstore. They walked up and down the mainstreet, going into various stores to say hello to the people working or to see what they were selling. It was mostly older people that seemed to live in the town, and they moved in a way that reminded Derek of waves on the beach. Slow and ebbing but still sure, like they were still standing on a boat. The two had ice cream from the cantina for lunch, walking to the beach to eat it on the rocks. Derek was careful not to get himself wet, and sat with his feet carefully pulled up. Will had taken his shoes off and rolled up his pants, letting the water lap at his ankles. They didn’t talk much, but the atmosphere swallowed the silence as gulls squawked above them and the waves surged up against the shore. Derek had the impression that everything he saw was tinged with the dreamlike quality of ghost towns. He kept trying to find the words to ask Will if it was always like this, or if it just seemed this way to him because he was an outsider, but every time he opened his mouth he found he couldn’t string the right words together. Will wouldn’t understand anyway, he was sure.

~~~

Dex felt incredibly lucky, the day had been perfect from sunup to sundown. These were the kind of days he felt privileged to experience. He and Nursey hadn’t fought all day, which was practically a miracle that Dex attributed to the calming atmosphere of the town. He knew that he was quick to anger and that a lot of the time he overreacted to things Nursey said, but he couldn’t help himself. Being back in Truro centered him, and he was able to take a deep breath and not attack Nursey every time he chirped him.

For the first time since proposing that Nursey come to live with him for the summer, he was able to relax a bit, knowing that they were probably going to make it through the whole summer without completely imploding their friendship. Looking at Nursey with his curls getting whipped around by the wind, he knew that the two of them were going to be ok, and that this experience at least had the chance to be a good one. Dex didn’t want to be too optimistic, but he was hopeful that for the first time he had made the right choice when it concerned Nursey.

Chapter Text

                Dex got up early the next morning, slipping from the room as quietly as he could while Nursey was still sleeping. While he realistically knew there was no point in showering before a day on the boat because by the end of the day he would be crusted in salt water and sweat, he liked to start his days fresh. Nursey was still sleeping when he slipped back into the room to get dressed, and the sight reassured him. Nursey could operate on three hours of sleep a night, so he took him sleeping in late to mean that he was getting comfortable here. It made him feel more sure of his decisions to see Nursey splayed out on the bed.

                Ever the early risers, Granny and Jamie were already having breakfast on the porch by the time Dex had gotten his breakfast together and gone out to join them. The two were sitting silently side by side on the steps, the morning mist playing at their feet. Dex did his best to eat quietly, trying to avoid breaking the crisp silence that enveloped them all.

                This was his favourite weather to wake up to, autumnal mornings where everything was shrouded in mist. Summer had never been his favourite time of year, he was much more suited to fall where every morning was like this. He liked to watch the cold bleed the landscape, watch as everything seemed to burn up in the latent heat.

                “She’s gonna be a fine day to take the boys out, eh Ma?” Jamie asked in the low voice he only used in the silence of the mornings, his hands wrapped around a large mug of coffee.

                “The sun’ll burn right through the mist, see if it doesn’t just turn it into cheesecloth.” Gran nodded at the sky before using the railing to haul herself upright.

                Dex finished his breakfast, leaving the two outside, and went to the kitchen to put away his dishes. He smiled to see a packed cooler sitting on the counter, his grandmother had made them lunch. He picked up the cooler and brought it back outside with him, throwing it into the back of his truck and climbing in after it. He laid down in the box, staring up at the sky as he waited for Nursey to get his ass out of bed, yet unwilling to be the one to wake him up. It proved that he didn’t have to, as he soon heard Nursey’s cheerful voice floating over to him. Dex sat up to look at what was going on in time to see Nursey attempting to juggle a single apple in front of his amused family.

                “You gonna join the circus there, Nurse, or are we going to go fishing?” Dex asked, amused as Nursey dropped the apple onto the lawn.

                “Well you’ve certainly got the face for the freak show there, Dexy.” Nursey shot him a grin as he bent to pick up the apple in an impressive feat of flexibility wherein he bent himself entirely in half at the waste. Dex felt himself blush for no good reason at all, suddenly finding the sky very interesting.

                “Ya we’d better be going. To the dock. Right Jamie?” Dex glanced over at his uncle who was looking at him shrewdly but made no comment on his reaction.

                “Sure thing boys, better head out!” Jamie pushed himself up off the stairs in one great heave and dropped a kiss on his mother’s cheek before loping over to the truck. Nursey followed at a much slower pace, glancing repeatedly back at Gran on the steps as he approached the truck.

                “Nursey, you coming or what?” Dex called to him as he pulled himself up into the driver’s seat.

Nursey seemed to blink himself out of a trance, picking up the pace to jump into the truck through the door Jamie was holding open for him, crawling into the middle of the bench.  He stared longingly at the house as they pulled away, and while Dex was ready to chirp him for missing his bed already, he figured the kid could use an easy first day.

~~~

When they reached the dock, Derek was a little confused. He didn’t know what he had expected form Jamie’s boat, but this wasn’t it. Well, that was a lie, he did know what he had expected. A giant fucking ocean crabbing boat. When Derek thought of lobster boats, the only thing that came to mind was the one time he had passed through Seattle when the Santa Maria was docked for the season. If the boats looked huge on tb, then they were truly of goliath proportions when standing beside one in real life. The boat he was now standing next to bared little to no resemblance to his expectations, and he wasn’t sure if that made him feel better or worse about getting aboard.

Derek wasn’t scared of water, he really wasn’t. He was just uneasy at the prospect of getting on a boat for the first time when he couldn’t swim, a fact that he had not shared with anyone who was going to be on board. In, hold, out, in, hold, and out. He just needed to keep breathing. He was Derek Nurse, and he could do this, he was sure of it. He clearly hadn’t thought of this particular issue when he had agreed to come along this summer, but it was fine. In, hold, and out.

Derek sat down on the dock, and closed his eyes, continuing to focus on his heartrate. A dark curl fell forwards into his face and as he reached up to push it back into place, he saw that his hands were shaking. He clasped his hands together tightly, he had to get this under control. Will couldn’t know.

“We’re ready to go Nurse, get your butt on the boat!” Will called to him, leaning on the railing in a way Derek would definitely call precarious.

“Of course I’m coming, couldn’t let you miss me all day!” Derek replied with his best smirk, taking the hand Will offered to steady himself as he got onto the boat.

~~~

Dex could tell there was something up with Nursey, he just wasn’t sure what. He’d been acting squirrely since they’d left the house, but it didn’t seem like questions would be welcome. Dex had been keeping an eye on him while they prepared the boat and he’d looked upset. Had Dex already managed to say something that made him angry today? Was he regretting coming for the summer? He wanted so badly to know so he could at least attempt to fix it, because otherwise this was going to be a very long day. Still, it was the fear of making it worse that convinced him to keep his mouth shut.

When Nursey grabbed his hand to get on the boat, his grip was tight, and Dex really began to worry. Nursey was defined by the concept of being chill, and although he was doing a remarkable job of seeming outwardly calm, there was something just below the surface. Dex had gotten much better at reading him as they had continued to play together over the season, he’d had to, or they would have kept losing. If he wasn’t mistaken, Nursey looked scared.

Still unsure of what shit was going down, he walked to the bench and retrieved a lifejacket for him, figuring it was best to cover his bases here.

“Here put this on,” Dex thrust the lifejacket at Nursey, shaking it at him when he refused to grab it.

“Brah, I’m not twelve, I don’t need it.” Nursey shook his head and put his hands up, still refusing to take it.

“First time on the boat, you wear a jacket. You manage not to die today, and we can discuss this tomorrow.” Dex stated as firmly as he could and shoved the lifejacket towards him again. By the grace of everything good in the world, Jamie decided to chime in.

“Come on Derek, why don’t you just put his mind at ease? The orange suits you anyway!” Jamie laughed, patting him on the back and giving him a conspiratory look as though to say ‘I know he’s being silly, but shouldn’t we just humour him?’. Dex couldn’t be bothered to care about the blush creeping up his neck, the important thing was that Nursey huffed but finally took the life jacket from him.

Dex frowned as he watched Nursey struggle to get the buckles in place, his hands were shaking. Was it nerves? Was he worried he was going to make a fool of himself? Dex knew from experience that Nurse wasn’t a big fan of being a beginner at anything, so maybe he’d jumped to the conclusion that Nursey hated him a little too quickly. Regardless of what the reason behind all this was, at the very least Nursey wasn’t going to drown. Possibly more confusing than the whole Nursey situation was that Jamie had gone along with it, but Dex’s brain was already tired so he just let it go.

He looked at Nursey one last time where he had moved to hold the railing as they prepared to push off. The engine rumbled to life, and Dex walked to the back of the boat to unhook them from the dock when Jamie gave the signal. Once he heard him holler, he deftly unwrapped the rope, chucked it back onto the dock, and kneeled to shove the end of the boat away from the platform. He stood, giving Nursey a covert look to assess his condition, and once he was satisfied, went to join his uncle in the cabin.

It was not until they were out on the open water that he heard his name being called, almost imperceptible over the hum of the engine. Going to investigate, Dex found Nursey sitting with his back to the water, hands clutching the railing behind him with the most terrified look on his face. Dex hurried over to him, kneeling in front of Nursey and trying to figure out what was wrong and how to fix it. Nursey was doing his best to remain stoic, but his whole body was shaking and when the boat rocked he let out a quiet whimper. Dex felt numb, holding his hands out to Nursey but unsure what to do with them. He settled for grasping Nursey’s arms, and he could feel the tension keeping his body rigid.

Nursey was staring at him, keeping his eyes trained on Dex’s face to avoid looking at his surroundings. They were both sitting there frozen, staring at each other, and Dex felt completely helpless. Finally, it snapped together, and he realized exactly what had happened. He asked the only fucking question he should have asked before letting Nursey on the boat.

“Nurse, can you swim?”

~~~

Nursey was mentally berating himself for calling out to Will. He thought he was going to be better at keeping it together, that the fear would dissipate once the boat started moving, that he would realize there was nothing to be afraid of. He had been very, very wrong. The rocking motion of the boat was making him sick to his stomach, and he felt certain he was going to throw up if he didn’t get to solid ground soon. The bile rising in his throat was a very timely indicator that his plan of just pushing through was really not working. In, hold, out, in, hold, out. It wasn’t working, he felt like there was a crushing weight on his chest and he could only pull in shallow breaths. He wanted to say something to Will but couldn’t risk opening his mouth.

When Will grabbed his arms, he calmed significantly. He suddenly had a touchstone, something real to focus on other than his fear. Will looked even more freaked out than Derek felt, which seemed next to impossible. As Derek shook his head in response to Will’s question, Derek could see the muscles jumping along his jaw as he clenched it, but Will took a deep breath and closed his eyes briefly before looking back up at Derek.

“Ok, that’s perfectly ok. You’re ok Nursey. We’re going to do you’re breathing thing ok? I’ll do it with you.” Will was speaking slowly, rubbing Derek’s arms in an attempt to soothe him. Honestly, just hearing his voice was helping. Will lead him through the breathing exercises for several minutes, until Derek was finally able to stop shaking. The sea sickness however, did not abate as he calmed down.

“Gonna puke.” Derek gasped out, and Will reacted with only the speed of someone who had probably been thrown up on a lot by younger siblings. Will grabbed him under the armpits, hauled him to his feet, and spun him to face the ocean as Derek began to empty his stomach into the water. Will rubbed his back while he threw up and could hear him trying to comfort him.

He felt almost immediately better after he’d thrown up, as he usually did, and tried to turn back around and look nonchalant. For once he was the one blushing, but Will seemed a bit preoccupied to chirp him. Derek’s mind flitted to his parents who had told him he’d never need to learn to swim, that there were more important things to spend his time on. Derek couldn’t drive, couldn’t ride a bike, it was a fucking miracle he could skate. Gee, how absolutely useful that he could speak five languages, he would be sure to thank them for their insight into the usefulness of basic survival skills the moment he was back on land.

“Ok, I’ve got you. Just let go of the railing Derek. I’m going to take you into the cabin. Just let go.” Will was coaxing him forward, and Derek belatedly realized he still had a strangle hold on the railing, but after a calming breath was able to slowly open his hand. Will gave him a quick smile, and grabbed him around the waist, slowly leading him into the cabin where he deposited him on the floor. This was much better, he couldn’t see the water from this position, and the noise of the engine was the only thing he could hear. He was totally fine, he’d just stay right here for the rest of the trip. He watched as Will leaned on Jamie and said something to him, and from the serious look on Will’s face, he was pretty sure Jamie was getting an update on his condition. Jamie’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline as he turned to look at Derek.

“I think we’re gonna call her a day and head back to shore. Billy and I have some pods that could use some loving.” Jamie gave him a reassuring smile, but Derek was not having it. He couldn’t ruin Will’s first day back on the boat.

“Nah, we don’t need to go back for me! I’m chill, Jamie.” Derek gave him two thumbs up, earning an angry grunt from Will.

“We’re turning back.” Will said, and there was clearly no room for a rebuttal, so Derek let his head roll back against the wall and closed his eyes.

~~~

Dex felt like such an idiot, and the guilt was threatening to send him spiraling into a self-hate filled rage. Nursey was having a meltdown all because he hadn’t bothered to check some of the most basic shit with him before dragging him on the boat. He was an absolute asshole, but he wasn’t even paying the price, Nursey was. They made it back in record time, and after quickly tying the boat back up to the dock, Dex went back to get Nursey. Jamie slipped by him as he entered the cabin, heading ashore to give the two some privacy. Dex kneeled in front of Nursey, holding out his hands and waiting patiently for Nursey to grab them. Finally, Nurse took a deep breath and grabbed his hands, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet. Almost immediately he pulled his hands away, brushed himself off and walked out towards the dock.

Even though Nursey had calmed down a lot, watching him try to pretend he was completely ok was infuriating, and all Dex wanted to do was help him if he’d only let him. Nursey made it all the way to the rail before it seemed to dawn on him he would have to step over the gap between the boat and the dock to get off, and he froze. He clearly wasn’t going anywhere, and Dex was thankful to actually be able to help him rather than just watching him struggle.

“Give me a sec, I’ll hop off.” Dex assured him, skirting around him to jump onto the dock. He used one hand to steady the boat as much as possible and held the other one out to Nursey who looked at it apprehensively. Nursey grabbed him hand, and Dex held onto it firmly, slowly pulling him forwards. Nursey’s eyes darter to the water as he prepared to step onto the dock, and he seemed to freeze up again.

“Derek, look at me.” The moment Nursey’s eyes met his, Dex jerked his arm sharply, pulling him forward as he swept forward with his other arm to catch him and pull him up onto the dock before simply holding him.

~~~

Derek stood very still in Will’s arms, once again doing his breathing exercises. Will was barely moving, giving him all the time he needed to calm down again while doing his best to comfort him. With one last deep breath, Derek coughed awkwardly and tried to step back out of Will’s arms, but Will just tightened his grip and pulled him back into his embrace. Confused, Derek craned his head to look at Will, who nodded behind him, and when Derek looked over his shoulder he realized he would have stepped off the dock and into the water if Will hadn’t stopped him. He shivered, and Will readjusted them so his arm was over Derek’s shoulder so he could steer them towards the truck. Will only let him go to open the passenger door, before gently leaning him against the side of the truck and undoing his lifejacket. Derek did his best to gracefully shrug it off, failing miserably, and once it was off Will helped him up into the truck. He shut the door for him before walking over to where Jamie was determinedly staring at a stack of pods, and Derek watched as Will said something to his uncle and Jamie nodded and rubbed Will’s shoulder.

Derek could see Will’s shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath before he returned and got in the truck. Will stared stonily out the windshield before starting the vehicle. They only made it to the first stop sign before Will seemed to break. Derek watched as he closed his eyes, his face expression becoming instantly enraged, and he slammed his fist into the steering wheel. Derek jumped, eyes widening as he sat silently staring at Will, who crumpled in on himself, cradling his head in his hands.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry Derek. This is all my fault, I’m so sorry.” Will whispered from behind his hands. Derek crowded into the middle of the seat and gently placed his hand on his back, startling Will into looking at him.

“You didn’t do anything Will, I should have told you, I should have kept my chill- “Will cut him off, turning to face him and grab his arms.

“You should never have been on that fucking boat, Nurse! I should have known you can’t swim. For fuck’s sake, I’m supposed to have your back, I’m your partner! I’m supposed to protect you!” Will was not quite shouting, his face becoming angry and red. Will let him go pressing the heels of his hands into his forehead.

“I’m supposed to protect you.” Will’s voice wavered as he spoke, and Derek just gave in. He reached out and pulled Will to his chest, burrowing his face in his neck. Will froze for the briefest second before collapsing into Derek’s hug, holding Derek just as tightly as Derek was holding him. They sat there until the wet patch on Derek’s shoulder stopped increasing, then Will slowly pulled out of his arms and swallowed heavily. The annoying part of Derek’s brain piped up that hey, this was proof that Will actually cared about him. Sure this was quite possibly the worst way to receive confirmation of that, but at least he knew.

Granny was waiting outside for them when they pulled up to the curb. Before Derek could open his door himself, she was there pulling it open and yanking him out of the truck and into a hug. Derek felt himself unraveling again in the presence of such comfort, but he decided to just let himself go, and cry on her shoulder while she rocked him. Once he felt better, Derek took a shaky breath and pulled out of her arms.

“There is soup on the stove, come in and have some.” As she passed by Will, she reached up and cupped his cheek, and some understanding passed between them.

The boys trailed after her into the house, settling in the kitchen while she bustled about. The soup was perfect, and Derek down to his bones. When he finished, he climbed the stairs and collapsed into his bed. He closed his eyes and listened to the sounds from downstairs, the sounds of the others a soothing white noise. He must have fallen asleep, but woke up to find his legs in Will’s lap, the other boy asleep sitting against the window. Still exhausted, Derek smiled before falling back asleep.

~~~

Dex woke up an hour after he’d gone up to check on Nursey to find that he had somehow moved from his position at the end of the bed to be stretched out along side him. The two were facing each other, and he looked down the bridge of his nose to get a glimpse of Nursey’s face, to find him looking peaceful and calm. Dex breathed a silent sigh of relief, before slowly sliding out of Nursey’s arms onto the floor. He managed to make it out of the room before it all came crashing in on him, and he felt like he was going to drown, fittingly. He slid down the wall at the top of the stairs and felt himself start to cry again. He couldn’t be here when Nursey woke up, wasn’t ready to face him and face the pain he’d caused him. As usual, Dex had managed to fuck up something with the potential to be good, and he couldn’t bear to watch their blossoming friendship fall apart because of his stupidity. More than that, Nursey shouldn’t have to be around the cause of his pain, not when it would be so fresh.

The only reason he’d gotten in bed with Nursey was because he knew that touch comforted him, and if he owed Nursey anything it was comfort. He’d also been exhausted, not that he had any right to be. How dare he be upset or tired, those belonged to Nursey and Nursey only. He couldn’t be here anymore, he needed to get out. He ran into his grandmother on his way out the door, and she looked at him with concern evident in her eyes.

“Gwilym, go calm yourself down. Go forgive yourself.” She knew better than to tell him not to do anything stupid. He kissed her forehead and rushed out the door.

He made it back to the docks, figuring that some manual labour would help to take his mind of things and give him space to work through what he was feeling. His uncle was sitting on the boat, repairing pods when he got there, and Dex sat on the deck and pulled another pod towards him, quietly beginning repairs. It only took a few minutes before Jamie broke the quiet.

“How’s your boy? Feeling any better?” Jamie asked, giving Dex a concerned look.

“He’s alright, Gran made us some soup, and then he took a nap. He was still sleeping when I left.”  Jamie nodded and gave him a peculiar smile before returning to his work. It took a solid minute before Dex’s brain processed what exactly his uncle had said.

“And he’s not my boy! He’s just a boy! I mean- fuck- he’s just Nursey.” Dex spluttered as his uncle laughed at him. Dex could feel how hot his face was getting, and shut his mouth with a click.

With the two of them working, fixing the broken pods only took another half hour. By that time, they’d already lost half the day, and Dex knew that this whole situation had cost his uncle valuable. When they set out again, he knew he’d need to double his efforts to make it up to him even though his mind was preoccupied the entire time. What was he going to do about Nursey? He didn’t want to send Nursey home to spend the summer alone, he’d gone through all of this to avoid that. However, Nursey couldn’t just stay in the house with Gran all summer, he’d be climbing the walls before the week was out. Dex had to come up with an alternative. He supposed he could try to see if Nursey could stay with someone else on the team, but shunting him to another home felt deeply wrong to Dex, like he was punishing Nursey for something that wasn’t his fault.

By the time they’d reached the fishing grounds, Dex had made up his mind that he would find some way to make this work, no matter what that meant. It was nice to be able to clear his mind and operate on muscle memory, letting his emotions pour out of him as he gave himself over to the sea. It was in his blood, in the Poindexter blood, and it felt good to know he was doing the same work as his ancestors had done for generations. His dad and his other two uncles had left the cape to move further inland, so Dex hadn’t grown up here like most of his family, but he still felt a bone deep connection to the area. He just hoped he could figure out a way for Nursey to be happy here too.

~~~

When Derek woke up again, Will was gone. He wasn’t sure why Will had come and slept with him, or why he’d left before Derek was properly awake. It felt almost like a one night stand, and Derek wasn’t sure how he should feel about it. Will was probably ashamed of him, as he had every right to be with how pathetic he’d been, and had ducked out because he didn’t know what to say to him. That was fair, Derek didn’t know what to say to him either.

Derek could hear someone working downstairs, and followed the sound to the kitchen where Granny was bustling about. He was amazed at how efficiently she moved, her age showed no signs of slowing her down.

“Could help you with anything?” Derek asked, hoping to prove he wasn’t completely useless. Granny considered him for a minute before answering.

“You can’t help with your hair everywhere like that. Sit down and let me fix it.” Granny pointed to the dining room, and Derek obediently went and sat down. He could hear Granny digging around for something, and mentally prepared himself for her to chop off his hair. She came up behind him pulled his head back, then held the sides of his face in a silent command not to move.

Granny combed through his hair, pulling it this way and that. He sat as still as he could manage, and in only a couple minutes she was telling him he could get up. Derek reached up to feel his hair, to discover that it had been braided back into a bun. Despite her stiffening joints, the braid felt tight and secure. Derek turned and smiled at her, and they returned to the kitchen. They were making a sort of potato casserole for supper, and Derek was content to do the simple tasks that Granny gave him. He was by no means an expert chef, and she seemed to know how much he could be trusted with. Granny was patient with him, and showed him the right technique for things whenever she noticed him floundering.

Derek never got the chance to learn life skills from his family, and so he was soaking it in now. He wished more than anything that his own grandmothers would teach him how to bake their signature desserts, that his mother would teach him how to do laundry, that his dad would take him to the garage to fix up his car, but that just wasn’t the type of family he had. His family outsourced those tasks to professionals, which left Derek horribly inept at basic human tasks. Working in the kitchen with Granny, Derek felt a renewed need to take advantage of this summer and learn everything that anyone would teach him so he could be a proper adult for one. That was of course, if he was even allowed to stay after this. Once Will kicked him out, he decided it would be better to just go to New York rather than become someone else’s burden.

Once the casserole was in the oven, Granny led the way out the porch and the two sat down.

“The sea isn’t for everyone Derek. Why do you think only one of my sons is still here? My husband, god bless him, had seawater in his veins, but not all of us can be that way. Billy’s nearly got gills, just like my Jamie, and the two of them could fish ‘till kingdom come. Me? My feet float, can’t swim to save my life. But that’s the good bit about the sea, they’ve always got to come back to land, and someone has to be waiting for them.” Granny patted Derek’s hand and gave him a reassuring smile.

Derek considered what she was telling him, that there was a place here even for people who weren’t meant to be out on the water. If Will would let him stay, he’d find his place.