Work Text:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. --Reinhold Niebuhr
Two Years Ago
“And the thief sneak-ed…”
“Sneaked.”
“Sneaked into the de… desert, to reg… rego… rejoin his friend.”
Kakashi couldn’t help but smile proudly as Kouichi stuttered through to the end of the page. The two-year-old had a determined crease between his eyes as he concentrated on the words he was still learning, but he was tenacious when it came to wanting to learn.
Dark eyes looked up at Kakashi with a proud grin. “I did it!”
“Yes, you finished the chapter,” Kakashi agreed, gently ruffling Kouichi’s hair. “Well done, pup.”
Something in his chest tightened as his son grinned up at him. Most of his teeth had fully grown in, which meant that Kouichi was learning to pronounce words more quickly now.
It was… strange. Kakashi had thought that getting to an age where Kouichi would be conversationally fluent would be a relief, and it definitely was, but there was something… not quite sad, but maybe a little melancholic that his son was officially not a baby anymore.
With practiced ease, he banished the maudlin thoughts as Kouichi toppled against him to wrap his arms around his chest, easily hugging Kouichi back. “We’ll finish the book tomorrow, now it’s time to--”
A bright chime rang through the house. Kakashi couldn’t help but stiffen. The chime meant that it was someone with a chakra key, because if the seal had been broken it would have set off the full alarm, but there hadn’t been any warning that anyone would be coming today.
“Mama?” Kouichi asked, attuned to Kakashi’s body language. Kakashi set him down, making the sign for quiet, and slowly rose to his feet. He slid a kunai out of its holster as he listened intently.
“Anybody home?!” a jovial voice called.
Kakashi remained wary until he could feel the distinctive flaring of the chakra of the Sage Toad. Then he relaxed, resheathed the kunai, and stomped towards the front door. “Is there a reason you’re invading at this time of night?” Kakashi asked dryly as he pulled the door open.
Jiraiya looked… weary. More than weary, exhausted. His clothes were wrinkled, like he had slept in them, and there were bags under his eyes. He wasn’t carrying his usual traveling gear, which meant that he wasn’t leaving Konoha to check on his spy network. This visit was to talk specifically to Kakashi.
Kakashi took in all of the details in moments before Kouichi ran up. “Hi, Uncle Jiraiya!”
Jiraiya smiled warmly, even with the grave tiredness etched in his features. “Hey there, Kocchan! How are you?”
He stepped in over the threshold, Kakashi closing the door behind him as Kouichi bounced around Jiraiya.
“I read a whole chapter of The Thief and the Assassin story! And I ran lots!” Kouichi stated proudly.
Kakashi smiled despite his new concerns. “I ran a lot,” he corrected gently.
“I ran a lot,” Kouichi mimicked, nodding to show that he understood.
Jiraiya ducked his head to hide a grin. “That’s fantastic! And a little scary, but I guess that makes sense that you’re following in your mother’s footsteps to be a brilliant genius.”
“I’m gonna be just like Mama!” Kouichi announced, puffing his chest out.
Kakashi scooped him up and ignored the twist in his chest. “I’ll be proud of you just being you, Kocchan,” he stated simply, letting Kouichi lean against him.
The boy smiled at him before turning back to Jiraiya. “Can we have mochi, Uncle?!”
“No.” Kakashi shot Jiraiya a look before he could answer. “You need to get ready for bed, and if you eat mochi you’re going to bounce around like a hyperactive squirrel.”
“Awwww.” Kouichi’s face dropped, and Jiraiya smiled sheepishly.
“I hate to break it to you, kiddo, but I didn’t have time to bring any mochi this time. I have to talk to your mother about boring grown-up stuff.”
Kouichi stuck his tongue out, and Kakashi rolled his eyes. Really, his son shouldn’t have already picked up a hatred of paperwork, right?
“I’ll tell you what, next time I visit I’ll bring red bean mochi and maple candy, does that sound like a deal?”
To Kakashi that sounded like a recipe for a nasty sugar high and crash, which he was going to have to deal with, dammit, but Kouichi grinned and stuck out his hand. Jiraiya shook it gravely. “Deal!” Kouichi looked up at Kakashi, and Kakashi just raised his eyebrow. Kouichi sighed dramatically and turned back to Jiraiya. “Good night, Uncle Jiraiya.”
“Good night, Kocchan,” the older man replied, his eyes warm and relieved.
Kakashi had seen that look before. That was the look after a particularly bad mission when you remembered that you were alive and that things weren’t as terrible as the mission made it feel.
He took a deep breath. “There are leftovers in the fridge and tea in the pantry; help yourself while I’m putting him to bed.”
Jiraiya waved in acknowledgement as Kakashi headed for the stairs, balancing Kouichi on his hip and ignoring the dread of whatever Jiraiya had to tell him.
~
After they had gone through the usual routine of brushing teeth, changing into pajamas, and tucking in, and the less usual routine of Kakashi summoning Bull and Bisuke to cuddle with Kouichi, he made his way back downstairs.
Jiraiya was sitting at the kitchen table, an empty bowl and a half-filled water glass in front of him. Kakashi grimaced. If Jiraiya wasn’t getting into his very well-hidden alcohol stash, something was very wrong.
“What happened?” Kakashi sat at the table, resting his arms loosely.
Jiraiya looked up, his expression haunted.
“Uchiha Itachi massacred his clan.”
It took a moment for the words to sink in. Kakashi’s stomach twisted, bile rising in his gorge. The Uchiha clan had been almost 50 strong, and all of them, murdered?
“What happened?” Kakashi asked again, his voice rougher than before. He hadn’t known Itachi well, but they had worked together. Itachi had loved his family; when he got on the topic he wouldn’t shut up about his younger brother. Kakashi would have bet that if Itachi had lost it, he would’ve defected or commited suicide, not slaughtered his own family.
Jiraiya shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. “The Uchiha clan elders have been talking about their position in the village for months, and Danzo was inflaming the situation.”
Kakashi resisted the urge to break something. Danzo. Of course Shimura-fucking-Danzo was involved.
“Sensei has been secretly in peace talks with the Uchiha elders and trying to circumvent any incidents while keeping that information from Danzo.” The older man grimaced. “Apparently it was working, too, except that the elders didn’t tell anyone that they were going to come to an agreement. From what we’ve put together, Itachi overheard talk of a coup…”
“And went straight to the bastard,” Kakashi finished, sick fury twisting in his stomach.
“Danzo seemed to have made himself a sympathetic ear to Itachi, and from his psych reports the kid wasn’t exactly stable,” Jiraiya commented practically, folding his hands together. “The only survivor was Itachi’s younger brother, Sasuke.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah, and this mucks up the whole political situation on top of everything else.”
Kakashi nodded silently in agreement. He may not have been on the best terms with the Uchiha clan as a whole, not with half the elders baying for his eye and accusing him of line-theft, but they had been some of Danzo’s strongest detractors. With the clan gone, Danzo’s power base had grown.
He went and dug out the sake bottle from behind the chakra-sealed wall panel. While he was tempted to drink straight from the bottle, he settled for pouring two generous cups.
Jiraiya muttered a quiet thank-you before throwing back most of the sake. “ANBU got there before anyone else, so at least Sensei is fairly certain the bodies weren’t desecrated. All of the medical samples are being destroyed as well.”
Kakashi stared down into his sake. The Uchiha had been bitter, stubborn, and xenophobic, but they hadn’t deserved a massacre of that scale.
And now Kouichi would never know the other side of his family.
Kakashi’s stomach twisted. He hadn’t… really considered what he was going to do when he brought Kouichi back to Konoha, but he would have had to talk to the Uchiha clan at some point. Especially with the chances of Kouichi inheriting the Sharingan. And it was the boy’s Clan. Kakashi had never wanted to cut Kouichi off from his heritage.
Now he would never be able to learn about that part of himself properly.
And it was all because of Danzo.
Abruptly, Kakashi realized that the twisting in his gut was fury. He rocked to his feet. “I need to talk to the Hokage. Stay here with Kouichi.”
Jiraiya nodded, uncharacteristically solemn. “I’ll protect him. Sensei is expecting you in the private office.”
“Good,” Kakashi growled as he grabbed his ANBU gear.
He needed to hear this from Sarutobi himself.
~
The jutsu key worked perfectly, and Kakashi slipped into the specific hole that had been left open for him.
Exactly as Jiraiya said, Sarutobi was sitting at his desk. This wasn’t his main office -- this was the secondary office tucked behind the official Hokage office. The surface was cleared of papers, just a pot of tea and two cups. The Hokage wasn’t wearing his robes or hat of office, and Kakashi was struck by how old he looked.
Then the images of dead bodies floated across his vision and the fury returned.
Sarutobi looked into his eyes, regret and darkness as obvious as ink spread across parchment. “You have questions.”
Kakashi resisted the unhelpful urge to drive a kunai into the table. “What the fuck happened?!” he hissed. “Did you just assume he had no idea?! Were you truly that naive?!”
“Hound, I understand your anger--”
“You understand my anger?!”
“Hound, I must request that you control your voice.” Sarutobi nodded towards the far side of the room, and Kakashi turned.
A small figured was curled under a blanket, tear stains obvious on his face and a kunai clutched in his hand. Uchiha Sasuke, the only survivor of the massacre, was fast asleep in the Hokage’s office.
It explained why Sarutobi was using his ANBU title and not his name.
“I thought it safer for him to stay here, rather than in the hospital, until an appropriate guard can be arranged,” Sarutobi murmured, pouring the tea. Kakashi forced himself to take a deep breath and pick up the small cup. The man sighed softly, cradling his own cup. “As for what happened, I did not take Itachi’s desperation into account. I had assumed that his pacifism would outweigh his fear, and that was my mistake.”
Kakashi resisted the urge to say anything and instead sipped his tea. He waited for Sarutobi to speak again.
“I expect Jiraiya filled you in.”
“He explained the political implications, yes,” Kakashi replied tightly, trying to ignore his exhaustion and frustration. They couldn’t just kill Danzo -- the man had his fingers in too many pies, too many plans that were set on a dead-man’s switch that would weaken Konoha, and they couldn’t afford to look weak to enemies, not ever again -- but that still didn’t soothe the desire for justice, to eliminate the threat before it could hurt his son.
Sarutobi nodded. “This will significantly set back our plans. Fugaku had just agreed to open an investigation into Danzo’s finances after the clan matters were settled. Now I cannot afford for Danzo to place one of his puppets as head of the police department.”
Kakashi grimaced and nodded in agreement. The last thing either of them needed was Danzo getting more power. “Agreed. How much is he aware of?”
Sarutobi’s eyes narrowed slightly as he focused on his tea. “He knows I am moving against him, although he is unaware of the full extent of my focus. He is still entirely unaware of your involvement, and I am able to verify that.”
“Good.” Kakashi set down his cup, empty now, before glancing across the room. “What about the kid?”
“Sasuke-kun is still only an Academy student, too young to officially take over the responsibilities of the Uchiha Clan head, so his political power and finances are being held in a trust, directly under my supervision and the supervision of the jounin commander.”
Kakashi nodded slowly. Sarutobi’s reputation might be enough to spook Danzo’s goons, and Nara Shikaku was brilliant enough to pick out any irregularities.
“I will also be assigning Sasuke-kun’s guardianship to Genma Shiranui. I trust Genma to prevent Sasuke-kun from becoming isolated from the village and at risk for Danzo’s manipulations.”
“Smart,” Kakashi murmured, crossing his arms. Genma had always taken it hard that he couldn’t be involved in Naruto’s life, and from Jiraiya’s reports he still hadn’t recovered from that. He would be good for Sasuke.
But Genma was only a tokubetsu. Kakashi knew that rank wasn’t everything, he had seen Genma fight before, but against ROOT it would be wise for Genma to have backup. And he knew the perfect candidate.
“Split it with Tenzo.”
Sarutobi leaned back slightly, his eyes inviting Kakashi to explain. The silver-haired man blinked slowly. “Tenzo knows how ROOT operates. He’ll catch anything Danzo tries to pull on the kid, and he can give Genma back-up.” He ran a hand through his hair, indulging in his private thoughts for a minute. Gai had reached out to Tenzo after Kakashi’s ‘death’, so he knew how hard it had been on his kohai. Maybe it was a long shot, but protecting another person and being forced into regular proximity with Genma, who had always balanced out the human and the shinobi with far more skill than Kakashi or Tenzo had ever managed, might help shake Tenzo out of his grief.
Sage knew that Kakashi had been forced to set aside his own issues when he focused on being a good parent for Kouichi.
Sarutobi was still watching him carefully before he gave a slow nod. “I won’t force him, but I will speak to him about this assignment.”
“Thank you.” Kakashi looked over at the too-young head of the Uchiha clan again. The boy had barely twitched during their entire quiet conversation, and Kakashi felt empathy towards the academy student. Losing family was… difficult.
Perhaps if he was lucky, Sasuke wouldn’t be as fucked up as Kakashi was himself.
Sarutobi carefully held out a scroll. “This is a mission for you, to take place in one week. Danzo has sent a squad to manipulate a mayoral election in a key city in Wave country. Jiraiya will be able to guard Kouichi during that time.”
Kakashi managed a small smirk as he took the scroll. Killing ROOT agents could be very therapeutic, after all.
~
By the time he arrived back, Jiraiya was fast asleep in Gai’s room, snoring softly. Kakashi slipped out of his ANBU gear and stored it back in its usual niche, changing into a robe before cracking open the other door.
The light was dim, but bright enough to see the figure tucked into the bedsheets. Bull opened an eye to see who it was, then huffed softly. Bisuke didn’t even twitch.
Kouichi was curled on his side, the blankets pulled up so high that Kakashi could just see the bridge of his nose. His breathing was slow and deep, his sleep undisturbed by the horrors of the day.
Kakashi slipped into the room and knelt by the bed. He couldn’t help himself. The images of dead Uchiha children haunted him, and seeing Kouichi safe eased the worst of it. He didn’t even think about it when he pushed up his hitai-ate, the Sharingan bringing the room into focus and letting Kakashi truly see his son. The scents of fresh sheets and shampoo and little-boy smell flooded his nose, the sound of soft snuffling breaths as his son slept.
Dark eyelashes fluttered, and sleep-hazy eyes tried to focus on him. “Mama?”
“Shhh,” Kakashi reassured him softly, leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss to Kouichi’s forehead. “I was just checking on you. Go back to sleep.”
“Uh-huh,” the boy murmured, already drifting off again. “Love you.”
Kakashi had to swallow around the lump in his throat. “I love you, too,” he whispered hoarsely.
Kouichi’s breath evened out again in true sleep, cuddling deeper into the bed and his blankets. His arms were wrapped around Pakkun, Jr. -- the stuffed dog toy that had been a gift from Gai.
Kakashi sat next to the small bed for a few minutes, just listening to the soothing sound of breathing. Kouichi trusted him, so much that it sometimes terrified Kakashi, but it also made him want to be the person who deserved that trust.
He couldn’t save the Uchihas. That had been entirely outside of his control.
But he could keep Kouichi safe.