Chapter Text
Chloe finished her third drink, feeling mellow and light and maybe a little bit tipsy. Linda, next to her, was obviously in a similar state as she slammed her glass onto the counter, giving the bartender an unmistakable refill signal and throwing Chloe a questioning look.
She listened inside, finding to her own surprise that there was room for one more.
“Right on!” Linda approved, speech only slightly slurred. “I must say, you and Lucifer, it’s really good for you. Really good.”
“You mean bad for my liver,” Chloe said, half to cover her irrepressible smile because, yes, Lucifer was really good for her for so many reasons, and half to acknowledge her own slightly uncharacteristic behavior.
Well. Uncharacteristic from Linda’s point of view, maybe. She had only met her when she’d already been deeply entrenched in her cop persona, so she had never seen her during her Hot Top High School days. If Chloe was honest with herself, she was merely returning to her old form, one she hadn’t thought she still had in her. And that most certainly was down to Lucifer.
And, yeah, she had to admit it felt good, so there was that.
“The liver’s regenerative powers are widely underestimated,” Linda said, raising her glass in salute. “So no, I mean this is good for you, period. You’re relaxing, enjoying life.” She took a sip and smacking her lip. “So’m I. Man, this is good.”
“Enjoying life, and love,” Chloe added, taking a sip of her own. “All the deadly sins.” She reconsidered. “Well, maybe not all of them. Lust, definitely, though.”
Linda giggled, then covered her mouth. That had been a cute giggle.
Chloe supposed she could cut her friend some slack in light of the row of empty glasses in front of her. Lucifer’s free drinks for his friends policy certainly wasn’t wasted on the therapist.
“And this,” Linda said, pointing at those selfsame glasses. “Which sin is that, anyway? Gluttony?”
“Not sure,” Chloe admitted, “but yeah, gluttony’s one of mine, definitely. His cooking is out of this world.” She ran her hand over her stomach. “I’ll need to go on a diet pretty soon if I don’t rein him in. And me.”
Linda had seen her motion. “It’s none of my business, so feel free to bop me one,” she said, enunciating carefully. “Any plans for, well, that?” She looked at Chloe’s lower body.
Chloe blushed. “Nope, no plans,” she said, trying not to sound regretful. She was okay with it, dammit. “Lucifer thinks it wouldn’t be a good idea.”
“Because of the Apocalypse?” Linda asked, wide-eyed.
“Nah. That’s all nonsense, apparently. No, it’s because nobody knows if half-angels are inherently evil or not. Also, God has rules against it. Seems like there’s been precedents, and we’ve seen one for ourselves hell-bent on killing Lucifer, so. Bottom line, he agrees with his Father for once. He doesn’t want to risk it.”
Linda nodded. “And what do you think?”
“I’m telling myself he’s right, and I do already have Trixie. I’m okay with what I have. I am.” She hesitated. The alcohol was warm in her belly, and Linda was looking at her as if already knowing what she really wanted to say, so she supposed there was no harm in saying it out loud. “I… I can’t stop thinking about it, Linda. Whenever we make love, there’s something inside of me that hopes that this time it will happen.” She downed her drink. “It won’t, though. Lucifer has to also want it, or it simply won’t happen. It’s a Celestial thing, apparently. And so far….” She trailed off.
“Why don’t you tell him how you feel?” LInda asked gently.
Chloe sighed. “He’s made his position clear, and I don’t want to pester him. He may end up doing it for me without really wanting it.” She noticed Linda’s look. “This may sound crazy, but I have too much power over him. I don’t want to abuse it.”
“How do you mean?”
She smiled, even though her emotions were too complicated for a simple smile. “I mean if I told him to jump, he wouldn’t even ask ‘how high?’. He’d just jump. Into an abyss, if there happened to be one in front of him.”
Now it was Linda’s turn to smile. “You do know that none of us can actually make anyone do anything they wouldn’t want to do themselves deep down somewhere, right?”
“I know, yeah,” Chloe said, waving for another refill. It’d be a tough day tomorrow, but what the hell. As Lucifer was so fond of saying, even an immortal life was too short. “Normally, I’d agree. But this is Lucifer, who for some reason has decided that I hung the moon and the stars, not him. Well. That’s not quite true. I do know the reason. And sometimes, it just makes me so mad.”
Linda was still looking at her with her ‘I’m listening’ face, and Chloe was tempted to spill all of it - how she was only beginning to make the Devil get used to being loved, how she suspected he still thought of himself as inherently unlovable despite her best efforts, how she could still render him incoherent with a simple touch because he was so desperately hungry for it while not allowing himself to think he deserved it. How he was so, so grateful to her, so deeply in love. How he still feared it would be over between them any day, was still terrified of her ending it, and how he would do anything for her, just to have one more day, one more hour, with her. And all that because he’d been cast out of his home when he was still too young to have developed any coping mechanisms, and he had been hated, feared and despised ever since, which had damaged him and his ability to trust, maybe beyond anyone’s capacity to heal.
But this wasn’t the time or place for that kind of talk. Besides, Linda probably knew or guessed at least half of that from her own sessions with Lucifer.
“I’m just mad,” she finally said, inadequately. “It shouldn’t be like this. I’m trying, but….”
Linda nodded wisely. “Trust doesn’t come easily to him.”
“Understatement of the century.”
“He’ll come around eventually,” Linda stated with conviction. “He’s resilient. The mere fact that he’s still sane proclaims as much.” She clinked her glass against Chloe’s. “Don’t worry so much. Enjoy what you have, which is a lot. Let him make his own realizations in his own good time. Nothing else you can do, anyway. I know from experience.”
Chloe smiled, a little more heartfelt this time. “You’re right. Don’t tear your hair out over the little things, right?”
“Exactly.” Linda nodded at their surroundings. “You’ve got all this, plus the Actual Devil who’s willing to move Heaven and Hell - freakin’ literally - for your happiness. Everything else will fall into place.”
“You’re right,” Chloe said again. “Thanks, Linda. You’re a great friend.”
A hush fell over Lux as the lights dimmed and a spotlight came on over the piano.
Silently, they sat next to each other, listening to Lucifer casting his spell and probably making dozens of people fall in love with him. Those people only saw and heard the enigmatic club owner with the angelic voice, though, while Chloe, with her vantage point of being the Devil’s Consort, could hear passion, love of life, and underneath it all, longing - longing for the life he had left behind. For Lucifer, music equaled Heaven, the home he had lost, the home he told himself he didn’t miss and yet did.
“Hey,” an unfamiliar voice said next to her, “why the sad face? You’re much too beautiful to be making such a face.”
She turned her head, intending to make a scathing remark about the lameness of that come-on, but stopped herself. It was a beautiful night, she was happy, she had Lucifer, and she had great friends. Besides, she realized when she took him in, the guy next to her wasn’t half-bad looking.
Linda leaned over to face the guy. “Really?” she said, saying what Chloe had just decided not to say. “That’s your line?” She put a dramatic hand onto her forehead. “Creativity truly is dead.”
“Best thing I could make up on such a short notice,” the guy said, grinning. “You kind of broadsided me. But, yeah, it’s terrible.” He looked from Linda to Chloe and back. “Oh, I’m sorry. You two together?”
Chloe smiled. The guy’s grin was infectious. “No.”
His eyes lit up in renewed hope. He had, Chloe noticed, beautiful bright blue eyes. “If that’s the case, can I buy you a drink? I’m Steve, by the way.”
Linda, clearly deciding that this Steve was cute enough, slid off her barstool to insinuate herself between him and Chloe. “She’s taken, but how about you buy me a drink?”
Steve, however, wasn’t so easily distracted. “You’re taken?” he said to Chloe. “Who’s the lucky person?”
Unconsciously, Chloe looked in the direction of the pedestal with the piano on it, belatedly noticing that Lucifer had stopped playing and the DJ had put the music back on.
The Devil was standing next to his instrument, looking all the way across the room at Chloe with hooded eyes, but she could read the dejection in his stance even without being able to read his face.
Dammit.
She got up. “Excuse me,” she said to Steve and Linda, “there’s something I need to take care of.”
The doors of the elevator were closing when Chloe reached them. “Lucifer, wait up!” she called.
A hand she’d recognize anywhere slid between the closing doors, halting their movement, and she was relieved. He wasn’t fleeing from her, then, just from the situation.
She stepped into the elevator with him, allowing the doors to close.
He looked at her in artful surprise. “Is the night out with Dr. Linda over already?”
“Not for her,” she said. “At least not if I’m reading the signs right.” She gave him a look of her own. “Lucifer, talk to me.”
He opened his mouth, no doubt to tell her that that talking clearly was what he was doing, but she cut him off.
“Why did you run away just now?” she clarified, knowing the answer, of course.
But he was the Devil, which meant that, for him, things were rarely obvious. “I did not ‘run away’,” he said with dignity. “I merely thought that things had reached a natural conclusion, and that it was a good moment to make an exit.”
“Lucifer.”
He blinked at her. “Yes, Chloe?”
She put all the love she felt for him into how she said his name. “Lucifer.”
It worked, because she could practically see him drop all pretenses. “I…” he began, then stopped.
The doors opened, revealing the dim lighting of his penthouse.
She took his hands to keep him from fleeing again. “Did you really think I’d throw away all of this, everything we have, just because a cute guy made a pass at me?”
He looked down, up into her eyes, and away again. She could feel his tension in the slim fingers she still held.
“Talk to me,” she said again, softly, glad she didn’t have to add ‘tell me the truth’, because she knew he would. Always.
“I didn’t make my exit because he made a pass at you,” he said, equally softly. “I did it because you smiled at him. You seemed taken by him. I… wanted to give you a choice.”
In between wanting to throttle him for being so dumb, Chloe contemplated that this was something that had indeed changed. Where before he would have been very much in the guy’s face, staking his claim, he now was more inclined to back off. Even though he had more to lose. Even though she’d seen his Devil form and accepted it, and everything else about him.
Or maybe because of it.
“Okay,” she said, dragging him by his hands out of the elevator and towards the couch. “Sit.” She waited until he did, looking up at her out of huge dark eyes.
She sat down next to him, still holding his hands. “Remember when we flew to New York, how you were practically sitting on every other passenger’s lap drawing out their desires?”
He nodded, opening his mouth.
Again, she cut him off. “I was okay with that,” she said. “You know why?”
“Nothing would have come of it,” he said immediately. “I love only you. I will always love only you.” Then his expression morphed into something complicated before clearing. “Oh.”
She smiled. Sometimes he was so cute that she thought she might die from it. “Yeah. ‘Oh.’ I know that nothing will come of it when you do your thing with other humans, so I’m comfortable giving you the space to do it. Why can’t you do the same for me?”
He opened his mouth, then let out the air unused.
“Lucifer,” she said gently, “do you still think you’re somehow not good enough for me?”
He didn’t say anything, which was all the answer she needed.
All this time, everything they had been for each other, all the things they had done together, and he was still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Clearly, words wouldn’t fix this. She let go of his hands so she could put her arms around him and stroke his back as she pressed her lips to his. “I love you,” she said, drawing back enough to be able to speak. “With all my heart. With everything I am. There will never be anyone else for me, because they all pale in comparison to you.” Another kiss. “What can I do to convince you that this is the truth?”
He looked at her wordlessly.
Suddenly, his wings were out, and he was wrapping them and his arms around her, holding her close. “I’m sorry,” he forced out against her neck. “Sorry for doubting you, sorry for being so dense. And I’m sorry for ruining your evening.” His arms closed around her, letting her feel a fraction of his strength as the warmth and softness of his feathers brushed against the back of her neck. “I’m terribly, woefully, out of my depth.”
“I know,” she said, returning his hug as best she could with the two limbs at her disposal. “Nothing to be sorry for. I know. But please.” She drew back so she could look into his eyes. “Please tell me. How do I convince you that I’m in this for the long haul?”
He made a sound halfway between a sob and a laugh. “I’ve no idea. I’ve never been in this situation before.”
She framed his face with her hands, stroking his temples, watching his wings droop and his eyes close briefly, and a thought came to her. “Should I swear to you, before my family and yours, to pledge my life and fealty to you for all eternity?”
His eyes turned into two perfectly round dark chocolate pools.
“Because I would,” she went on, “if you did the same. Together, forever.”
A laugh forced itself out of him. “Rick Astley, really? Now?”
He was such a dork, and she loved him so much. “Lucifer.”
“Sorry.” He turned serious again immediately, because he was so much more than just a dork. “Chloe Jane Decker, are you asking me to marry you?”
That gave her pause for a second, and then she smiled. “I guess I am. But in a way that will really mean something to you. Do Celestials do anything like this? I want to do it your way.” She fell silent when she noticed his expression.
He was looking at her dumbfounded and in complete disbelief. “You’re serious?” he asked.
“Like a heart attack.”
“I….” He fell silent, made a gesture with one hand. “Well,” he finally said, “Rick Astley or no, I’m sure we can find a way….” He broke off, looking at her face. “What?”
She realized that she was grinning like a lunatic. “Never gonna give you up.”
“Never gonna let you down.” He, too, was grinning. “I would move Heaven and Earth to be together forever with you.”
They laughed both then, tension broken.
“Right,” Chloe said. “So that’s settled then? We’ll arrange whatever ceremony you guys do, and meanwhile I can go back down and make out with all your cute patrons, and you’ll still know that I love only you, and that nothing will come of it?”
His eyes darkened. “I’d rather you not make out with anyone but me, but if that’s where your free will takes you, my Consort….”
Right. There was still a long road ahead of him, clearly. “Lucifer,” she said, “you have the right to make your feelings about this known, you know.”
He had that soft look on his face that made her wonder how anyone could ever see him as scary, even though she knew that he had layers. “I would never curtail your free will.”
She suppressed a sigh. “I know that. But you still can tell me how you feel about my choices. It’s not the same thing.”
He nodded, looking only half convinced.
“And you haven’t answered my question. Lucifer Morningstar, do you want to marry me? Or whatever Celestials call it?”
“I am already bound to you, body and soul,” he said with that earnestness that tended to make her week in the knees, “so I’ll gladly affirm this in whatever formalized manner you like. And to answer your other question, no, we don’t have anything like the marriage thing you humans have. We don’t pair off for life. We’re too closely related, anyway.”
“Oh.” Her disappointment was acute. She wanted to do this for him, and if it was merely one of the ‘things you humans have’, it wouldn’t serve to reassure him of where she stood.
“At least not as far as I know,” he added. “I haven’t been upstairs in eons, obviously, so I don’t know what Father’s Heavenly Host has been up to since then.” His eyes lit up. “I could ask Sachiel about it. He’s only been down here for a few decades. He should be fairly current.”
Sachiel. Lucifer’s younger brother who had married a human woman, twice, who had fathered a child, twice. If anyone could serve as a valuable source of information, not just about this, but about the other things Chloe had on her mind, it was him. “That’s a great idea,” she said. “Let’s both of us ask him.”
Lucifer’s phone chose that moment to play the first few bars of Hark the herald, angels sing.
He pulled it out of his jacket, looking at it in disbelief. “That’s Sachiel.”
Chloe laughed, both at the coincidence and at Lucifer’s choice of personalized ringtone. “That’s funny.”
“Maybe he’s a Jedi,” Lucifer said, deadpan, before raising the phone to his ear with a happy smile. “Sach! We were just talking about you.”
Then Chloe watched his face darken and turn downright forbidding. “How did you get that phone?” he said flatly. “Put Sachiel on right now, or I’ll come over and -.... No, absolutely not.”
Who is that? Chloe mouthed at him. Her cop instincts were wide awake and waving red flags.
He raised his hand, index finger extended. “I said no. That is final. Now give me Sachiel, or live to regret it.” There was a pause. Then, “Ah, Sach. Good to hear you’re okay. You are okay, right?” Another pause. “Yes, I understand. No, no harm done. Bye.”
“Who was that, Lucifer?”
He looked at her, shaking his head as if unable to process his current reality. “That was Ephraim. He wants to talk to me.”