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"You're Shinsou Hitoshi, right? From general studies? I've heard you're the one who hates that blonde bastard just as much as I do," a dark chuckle follows the words and Shinsou raises his head to meet cold, gunmetal eyes. His fists curl in his pockets and every hair raises on his arm. "I'm Monoma Neito. Pleasure to meet you." He holds out his hand to shake, and Shinsou briefly remembers in the back of his mind that this is the kid that steals people's quirks through physical contact. Shinsou glances at the hand, then back to the kid's eyes, raising a violet eyebrow. After a few moments of awkward silence, and a near battle of eye contact between the two, Monoma drops his hand. "You're a man of few words, aren't you?"
"You haven't said anything that's worth responding to," Shinsou retorts in a mutter, bringing a hand up to rest his chin on it. He knows the true reason he finds himself mute sometimes is more deeply-rooted than that, but he isn't very keen on the idea of dropping his life story on a sadistic blonde that would surely use it against him.
"I saw you in the games, you're pretty bad-ass."
That wasn't something he was expecting.
"Though," Monoma trails off, "Why didn't you just make the green-haired brat say 'I give up,' instead of trying to push him to the edge?" He takes a seat in front of Shinsou - without asking, mind him - and places his lunch tray on the table.
"No one would've recognized my quirk if he had just given up," Shinsou responds, he has heard this question many times, and each time the answer is the same.
"Why are you in general studies, anyway? With a quirk like yours?" Monoma asks, and the same question dies on Shinsou's tongue.
"The test was purely physical, and I haven't quite learned how to brainwash a robot," Shinsou replies with absolutely no humor, yet Monoma laughs. "Why are you in 1B? You could've stolen the blonde brat's quirk."
"Yeah, and risk him getting a little too close to my face? He's a loose cannon, who knows if he'd attack an innocent."
"An innocent," Shinsou scoffs, well aware of the fact that Monoma was so far from innocent.
"We should train together, you know?" Monoma proposes. "I help you train, you help me. We move up in the ranks, people start recognizing us. And if all else fails, at least it'll be fun."
Shinsou debates it. Monoma seems to be stone cold and unashamed to speak his mind, but Shinsou isn't too keen on teaming up. He's always worked better alone, anyway. He's kind of just always been alone, and he's kind of always been okay with that. Though, he knows the blonde is persistent, based on what people have said about him. A partner does seem a little less lonely, Shinsou supposes. Maybe this kid could even be his friend.
He agrees.
———
Shinsou never really gave much thought to the idea that him and Monoma would become close. He always just thought they were partners at best - training and studying buddies when they needed it. Yet here he is, munching on popcorn as Monoma sifts through his movie collection, attempting to find something that appeals to Shinsou's interests. Monoma indulged earlier that he never really had friends, and the fact that Shinsou agreed to hang out with him was really really surprising.
"Aha!" Monoma exclaims, proudly showing Shinsou a bloody movie cover. "I found a horror film!"
Monoma really shouldn't be so excited to find something Shinsou likes, and Shinsou really shouldn't be smiling at the fact that he is. He watches as Monoma places the movie in the DVD player, before he shuffles beside Shinsou and leans against the bed. He grabs a handful of popcorn and shoves it indecently into his mouth, before pressing play on the remote. He turns to Shinsou, grey eyes amused.
"What?" he muses.
"You're weird, that's what," Shinsou comments, attempting to keep a stoic composure, yet a quiet string of laughter leaves his lips.
"You just giggled!" Monoma exclaims, pointing at Shinsou accusingly.
"I did not!" Shinsou defends himself, swatting Monoma's hand away.
"You did too!" Monoma then attempts to recreate the sound, only resulting in sounding like a dying car engine. Shinsou genuinely laughs at that.
"I didn't sound anything like that."
"You did! Only it was significantly cuter," Monoma comments. Shinsou falls quiet at this, casting his eyes to the ground in an attempt to hide his slightly warming cheeks. No one has ever called him cute before. "Are you embarrassed?"
"No! I just...I'm not cute," Shinsou protests, and Monoma replies with a laugh.
"What? Is your stoic and manly ego ruined now that I've called you cute?" Monoma teases. "Don't be embarrassed, Shinsou-kun, it's just the truth."
Shinsou grinds his teeth and how sickly sweet and sarcastic the honorific sounds.
"No, dumbass, it's not that."
"Then what is it?" Monoma inquires. Shinsou looks to the screen, realizing they've missed a few minutes of the movie.
"The movie already started."
"Don't try to change the subject," Monoma complains, poking Shinsou's cheek. "C'mon, why are you so embarrassed?"
"Because I'm not cute, plain and simple," Shinsou answers, slightly more aggressive than he probably should have. "Let's just watch the movie."
"Wait..." Monoma trails off. "You don't think you're cute?"
"Do you think I'm cute?" Shinsou retorts, watching as Monoma devotes some serious thought to it.
"Well-" he goes to reply, but Shinsou instantly takes control of his mind.
"Watch the movie," he commands, and Monoma turns to the screen, eyes and face blank. Shinsou soon drops his quirk though, and sighs. "Sorry. I shouldn't have done it without your permission, I just-"
"It isn't something you wanna talk about," Monoma replies. "It's fine."
Shinsou doesn't feel like it's fine though. He had sworn long ago that he would never use his quirk to do something bad, yet here he was, mind controlling his friend to change the topic.
"Quit thinking. You think too loud," Monoma comments, turning his eyes to Shinsou.
"Seriously, it's fine. You don't have to look so guilty about it."
But Shinsou is guilty.
"I try not to talk a lot because as a kid, people wouldn't talk to me because there were scared of my quirk," Shinsou reveals. "So I learned not to talk so that people would stick around a little more. Sometimes I just don't talk because I'm used to people getting scared when I do."
"Well, that's depressing," Monoma retorts inappropriately, causing Shinsou to flinch because yeah, it kind of is. "In grade school, everyone avoided me like a plague because they didn't want their quirk stolen. I didn't really have any friends either, usually I would stand in the corner while my classmates played with each other. So I learned to not care."
"I'm your friend," Shinsou finds himself saying, then internally chastises himself for it. "As childish as that sounds, I trust you. Plus, I'm over at your house watching a movie. We're hanging out. Like friends do."
"Obviously, you sap," Monoma comments, a laugh punctuating his sentence. "I'm your friend, too. I trust you."
Shinsou's stomach flips at the genuine smile that decorates Monoma's lips. And later that night, when Shinsou is lying on a mattress on Monoma's floor, his eyes burn at the thought that he has a friend.
———
The end of the first semester of first year is steadily drawing to a close, much to Shinsou's liking (and arguably disliking). To celebrate the end of finals, him and Monoma decided to go out for dinner and ice cream, and if they're feeling up to it, a trip to the arcade a few minutes walk away from Shinsou's house, where they'll inevitably end up for the night. Now, though, the sun has set and cast the surroundings in a cool, dark night, lit by golden street lamps and the pale moonlight. The streets are bustling with people of all types, and Shinsou has never particularly been a fan of people before, but he likes it when the streets are busy with the sound of chatter and tires on asphalt. Monoma is eating away at a raspberry ice cream cone, whereas Shinsou is sloshing around half-melted Neapolitan in his cup. They decide wordlessly to sit at a bench, and Shinsou looks up at the stars.
"Hey, isn't that kid from the UA games?" someone asks a little too loud, and Shinsou decides to not pay them any mind, assuming they're talking about Monoma - because, in all honesty, they always talk about Monoma rather than him.
"Yeah! The one with the brain washing quirk!" the same voice comments, and Shinsou can tell they're trying to pick a fight based on their tone. He glances lazily at them from the corner of his eye, raising an indigo eyebrow. "Hey, kid!" A man with angry, beady eyes and taut eyebrows stands directly in front of Monoma and Shinsou, and Shinsou can feel the blonde beside him get tense and antsy from the situation. "What do you use your quirk for?"
"Battles," Shinsou answers simply, and feels Monoma's knee knock against his as the blonde sits up further.
"You ever use it for anything...bad?" the man - or teenager, Shinsou should say, because he looks to be about eighteen or nineteen - inquires, bending over and putting his face right in front of Shinsou's. "You totally could, and you could get away with it."
"No thanks," Shinsou comments in a half-assed witty tone. He glances to Monoma, who's visibly uncomfortable, and watches his fist twitch as the man leans closer.
"I bet you have, you look the type," he murmurs and snickers to himself while Monoma's fists clench and he stands.
"Hey, fuck off," he mouths off, and judging by Monoma's set expression, they're not walking away without Monoma getting an insult in.
"And who the fuck are you?" the man sneers, sticking his nose in Monoma's space.
"Do you really have nothing else to do in your spare time but pick a fight with high schoolers? To be honest, with a face like that, I'd imagine it's gets pretty lonely," Monoma offhandedly comments. "Is this a cry for attention? Does mama not pay enough attention to you at home?" He sarcastically pouts and Shinsou stands.
"We should go."
"You're just letting this bastard fight your battles for you?" The man raises an eyebrow at Shinsou, and now Shinsou begins to feel anger prickle in his veins. "What, can't speak for yourself?" he inquires when Shinsou doesn't answer him. His eyebrows furrow when Shinsou remains quiet. "Hey, I'm fucking talking to you!" He shoves Shinsou's shoulder, causing him to stumble back onto the bench. He winces as his back hits the metal hard, knowing it's going to be bruised tomorrow.
"Okay, first of all," Monoma intervenes. "You're a piece of shit lowlife. Second of all," Monoma pauses - for effect, the dramatic bastard, "you just fucked with the wrong high schooler."
And Shinsou knows this was bound to happen, but he was clinging onto the little bit of hope that he could convince Monoma to stand down and walk away. All of that immediately goes out the window as Monoma's fist connects with the man's cheek and he rears back for another one. The man goes to punch him from the other side, but Monoma catches his wrist and smirks.
"Oh, man," he murmurs. "Your quirk is kind of useless. No wonder you get off on making fun of other people's, huh?" He fists the man's collar and instantly pushes him against the nearest wall, adding another punch to the man's jaw.
"Monoma," Shinsou hisses, standing and making his way over to where the two are still fighting. As he glances around, he sees people fleeing the area with their children, or with their loved ones. And yes, he's angry and a little saddened by the man's words earlier, but regret sticks like needles in Shinsou's chest, and above all else, he just wants to go home. "Monoma. Stop."
There's a sickening smacking noise as a good hit is landed on Monoma's nose, and Shinsou actually flinches.
"Neito," Shinsou calls.
"Fucking what?" Monoma spits, and Shinsou immediately grabs hold of his mind.
"Walk away," he orders, and he feels Monoma's internal struggle with the command. "I said walk away!," he demands, watching as Monoma steps away from the man and towards Shinsou.
"Using your evil quirk on your own friend," the man bites, wiping the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand. Shinsou elects to ignore him and grabs Monoma's shoulder, pulling him in the direction of his house. Monoma comes to at the rough movements Shinsou is jostling him with, and his hand instantly comes up to his nose to catch the blood dripping from it.
"Fuck," he winces, running his tongue over a split in his lip. "He got me good."
Shinsou doesn't reply, and instead pulls Monoma into a restaurant, hurriedly shoving him into the bathroom before anyone can see his disheveled and bloody state.
"Shinsou, there's no way you're not pissed about this. I mean, what he said-"
"I don't want to talk about it," Shinsou cuts harshly, wetting a few paper towels.
"You're going to have to eventu-ow!" he exclaims as Shinsou grabs his jaw and begins dabbing at the broken skin on his cheek. "At least apologize."
"No," Shinsou replies, loosening his grip on Monoma and softening his touches to the cuts on Monoma's face. "I'm not the one that should be apologizing."
"Oh, come on. He was being a dick. Was I supposed to let him just talk to you like that? Plus, he put his hands on you, and that's a no-go."
"I could've just let it slide. I'm used-"
"Don't say you're used to it. That just makes me angrier. You don't deserve to be used to something like that, Hitoshi," Monoma's voice softens in a way that tugs at Shinsou's heart strings, and he sighs and pulls away from Monoma, grabbing some clean paper towels.
"I have bandages and ointment at my house, we should start heading there." He begins to walk away, but Monoma grabs his hand and holds him there.
"Wait," he murmurs, searching Shinsou's indigo eyes with a sharp gaze; he's looking for something specific, Shinsou just doesn't know what that something is. "Hitoshi?"
"Yeah?"
Something in Shinsou's brain whispers, "Kiss me," in Monoma's voice, and Shinsou abandons his sense of control - wait, he isn't in control of himself - and he leans forward and slots his lips between Monoma's, tasting blood and raspberry ice cream on the other's tongue. He startles out of the mind control when Monoma pushes him away, cheeks cherry red and eyes wild and wide.
"I didn't mean - I'm so sorry, I-I didn't know I had taken your quirk."
"I'm pretty preoccupied with other things rather than you stealing my quirk," Shinsou admits, raising an eyebrow as he tosses the used paper towels into the trash bin. Monoma is startlingly quiet as he trails after Shinsou, who holds the door open for him and leads the way to his house. Yet Shinsou, though he wanted to go home earlier, decides to take a detour and leads Monoma to the small stream a few minutes walk away from his house. It's quite simple, except for the fact that flower petals often fall into it and paint the water in specks of soft pinks and whites. He sits on the water bank and feels Monoma's presence next to him, yet the blonde doesn't say anything. Shinsou looks up at he blinking stars and sighs.
"Monoma-" he starts, at the same time Monoma says, "Shinsou-"
The both stop their sentences.
"You go first," Shinsou offers and Monoma draws his knees up to his chest.
"I'm sorry for ruining your night," he mutters. "You're probably feeling pretty awkward right now, and rightfully so, but you're also probably upset with me because of-"
"I'm not upset with you," Shinsou intervenes, and he can tell Monoma's waiting on the "but". "I'm not...I'm not amused with that fight you decided to pick, don't get me wrong, but I'm not upset with you."
"And what about...the other thing?" Monoma inquires sheepishly, cheeks flushing soft pink in the moonlight, and Shinsou realizes he's never really given thought to the way he feels about Monoma. He does think he's attractive, he has nice features and soft, blonde hair, paired with stormy grey eyes. His smirk oftentimes means something careless is about to happen, but there's a gentle smile he often catches on the corner of Monoma's lips when he's with Shinsou, a smile he hasn't seen given to anyone else. And he realizes that whenever they're next to each other, Monoma always sits with their shoulders or knees touching. And he realizes that Monoma always listens to his problems with open ears, and that he never delivers off-handed comments that would upset Shinsou. And he realizes that Monoma's kind of a solid force in his life now, and he doesn't quite know what he'd do without the sarcastic blonde's good morning and good night texts, the memes he'd send throughout the day, the cat videos they'd watch together, that one time Shinsou was so stressed, Monoma carded long, deft fingers through his hair and just let him relax, those times Monoma brought him tea or coffee or lunch, even when Shinsou hadn't asked him to. He realizes that he never really wants those things to leave; Monoma has become such a positive energy in Shinsou's day-to-day activities.
"I don't...I don't know," Shinsou whispers, but he does know. He knows that he enjoyed kissing Monoma, and he knows he'd like to do it again. He knows he'd like to be closer to Monoma, to hold his hand, to tangle their legs under the bed sheets and watch a shitty horror movie, and Shinsou's never really felt this kind of desire for someone, and it makes his eyes burn and his chest ache. He sniffles.
"Fuck, Hitoshi, I'm so sorry," Monoma presses the heels of his hands to his eyes. "I know you're upset, and I really shouldn't have done what I did, but I just-"
Shinsou grabs Monoma's shirt collar in his fists, and for a moment, he sees fear flicker in gunmetal eyes. His eyes dance to Monoma's soft pink lips that are split from the fight earlier, and are starting to swell. He doesn't really know what he planned on doing, he's never really kissed anyone before a few moments ago, and he'd hate to ruin whatever he and Monoma have going for them. He releases Monoma's collar and goes to shift away, but cold hands grab his cheeks and pull him forward again. He can feel Monoma's lips against his and his eyes flutter shut as his eyebrows crease and he focuses on doing it right. Monoma's lips begin to move and Shinsou's go with them, and before long, Monoma's tongue is tracing Shinsou's lips, but before it can go any further, Shinsou breaks away to catch his breath.
Monoma leans his forehead against Shinsou's and wraps his arms around his neck.
"I'm sorry," Monoma whispers, but he doesn't sound apologetic at all.
"What are you sorry for?"
"I don't know, it just seemed like the right thing to say." He pulls back and lets his arms drop to his lap. "We should probably go back to your house."
Shinsou agrees and stands up, helping Monoma up. And they don't speak on the way home, and even after Shinsou finishes cleaning Monoma up, and even after getting situated into separate beds, they don't speak. They don't even say goodnight. Shinsou just watches Monoma's side rise and fall with his slowing breaths as the television plays a random American comedy.
———
Summer break arrives and Shinsou has yet to see Monoma since school has ended. His phone doesn't light up with a text from the blonde, he hasn't received any coffee or tea or lunch, it's as if Monoma never existed at all. Shinsou's beginning to think that maybe their experiences were a figment of his imagination. Maybe Monoma forgot about him, maybe Monoma didn't care, or maybe he just needed some space and sucks at communicating, because Shinsou's damn near sure he's lost the closest thing he's had to a best friend. Ultimately, he was bound to leave anyway. Shinsou's fingers ghost over the green phone button below Monoma's contact name, and he wills himself to push it, yet his finger doesn't budge. He sighs and places his phone on the bed next to him, eyes glancing to the open window across his room.
It's night time, and has been about a week and a half since him and Monoma kissed. The stars blink at Shinsou, and he wonders just how far away they are. He sits up and tugs on some shoes, before slipping out of his window, clutching onto a pipe and swinging onto the staircase that led to the bottom of his apartment building. He decides to make way to the stream he oftentimes visits when he needs to clear his mind; the same stream he took Monoma to after the bathroom incident. It only takes him a few moments to get there, and a corner of his lips tilt up at the pink flower petals spinning atop the water. He sighs and sits at the bank of the stream and watches and feels; feels the wind blow and watches it shake delicate blossoms from their stems and decorate the water in soft whites and pinks. The floral scent passes along with the flowers, and Shinsou pulls his knees to his chest, crosses his arms over his knees, and rests his chin on his forearm. He takes a deep breath and decides that, ultimately, things will be okay, even though Monoma's words and the way his soft skin felt against Shinsou's hands stick to his mind like tacks.
———
Monoma groans and slams his head against the wooden table, wincing at the pain that stings through his head. He sits back up and puts his face into his hands.
"Oh, seriously? Are you gonna mope the entire night?" Kendo comments, pulling his hands away from his face. "I did not bring you to a restaurant, pay for your food and drinks for you to sit around feeling sorry for yourself."
"She's got a point," Shiozaki offers, twirling a green vine around her fingers. "At least let us know what's wrong."
Monoma doesn't particularly want to talk about it. Guilt weighs heavy in his chest at the fact that he's actively ignoring Shinsou for no reason. He's probably moved on, anyway, because Monoma is so shallow he can't pull his head out of his ass. He draws his phone from his pocket and glances at the green phone icon, a small smile tugging at his lips at the contact picture, which is a photograph Monoma just so happened to catch as Shinsou was laughing at something dumb Monoma said. Shinsou had begged him to delete it, but Monoma couldn't let something as beautiful as that just be deleted.
"Monoma, don't tell me you're moping over a boy," Kendo scolds, snatching Monoma's phone, ignoring Monoma's indignant, "Hey!"
"That's Shinsou Hitoshi, right? From the general studies department?" Shiozaki asks, glancing approvingly at the picture. "He's very cute, Monoma-kun," she says sweetly, causing Monoma's cheeks to burn.
"Just...please give it back."
"Are you pining? Or is this deeper than that?" Kendo inquires, handing Monoma his phone back.
"We've been hanging out since close to the end of first semester. I-" Monoma pauses. Does he tell them everything? Kendo will probably smack him over the top of the head, and Shiozaki will go on some rant about how love saves all. Oh well, Monoma decides, fuck it. "We became really good friends and I developed feelings for him. He's just so...different, I guess? And one night, we were out getting ice cream and some dude came up and was trying to pick a fight with Shinsou, so I...punched him-"
"Monoma," Kendo murmurs scoldingly, but Monoma elects to ignore her.
"And it started a huge fight. That's where I got those bruises and cuts you saw last week. Shinsou cleaned me up and, well...I accidentally took his quirk and was thinking to myself that I really wanted him to kiss me, and didn't realize that I had commanded him to kiss me. And then we kissed. And it was so awkward, he looked so distant and kind of worried. And we walked to this stream, and we just sat there for a while, and then I tried to apologize and I really thought he was going to punch me. But then he had this soft look in his eyes, and I couldn't help myself, I just kissed him again. And he kissed back, and holy shit it was one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had," Monoma confesses. Kendo raises an eyebrow.
"So what's the problem?"
"I haven't spoken to him in about a week and a half," Monoma murmurs. Kendo groans in unison with Shiozaki muttering, "Monoma, you're hopeless."
"So you know you have to go see him, right?" Kendo asks, backed up with Shiozaki's continuous nodding. "You have to tell him how you feel."
"No thanks-Hey!"
Kendo takes his phone and opens it, (Monoma curses at himself for giving her the password) opening a message to Shinsou.
"Please don't," he begs. "Please, I..."
"Then go to him," Kendo deadpans. "What are you waiting for?"
Honestly, what is Monoma waiting for? To feel less guilty, maybe? Or the day when Shinsou messages him first? No, Kendo's right. Monoma has to fix this, he can't wait for someone else to do it for him. He stands and grabs his phone from Kendo.
"Thank you for dinner!" he rushes out and immediately dashes from the restaurant, letting his feet carry him in the direction of the stream Shinsou took him that one night. Monoma has a deep feeling in his gut that Shinsou is there, even though the sun has well set and it's rather dark out. It's a few minutes run, and eventually, he slows to a fast walk that delivers him there within a few more moments. And he stops when he sees Shinsou's curled up figure sitting by the stream, and his heart beats erratically at the way Shinsou's violet hair waves in the wind, and how he looks to be surrounded by petals. The aroma of flowers hits Monoma, and either Mother Nature is a hopeless romantic, or he's imagining things. He steps forward and makes his presence known by clearing his throat, before he sits next to Shinsou.
"Hey," he murmurs. Shinsou doesn't respond, as expected. "I know you're probably mad at me, but I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have ghosted you like that, and-" Monoma glances at Shinsou, who has yet to make eye contact. Regret and guilt bubble up in Monoma's stomach. "I'm not too great at expressing my feelings, and when I...when I kissed you, I just felt this huge surge of emotions and I didn't know how to deal with it. So I coped the only way I knew how, by running. And I'm sorry that I did that to you, Hitoshi, because you don't deserve that, and-"
"It's okay," Shinsou mutters. "I understand."
"It's not okay, it wasn't right-"
"I ran too," Shinsou admits, glancing at Monoma out of the corner of his eye, before his gaze falls to the river. "There were so many times I almost called you, but I stopped myself. Because I didn't want the reality to be that you suddenly didn't feel the same, so I...I didn't risk it."
"You should've risked it," Monoma offered, though it didn't help much now.
"And you shouldn't have run," Shinsou counters, but there's no malice in the words. He turns to Monoma, a small, reserved smile situated on his lips. Monoma finds himself mirroring the look, and his cheeks flush when Shinsou's hand finds its way to Monoma's. "And maybe we both should learn that it's pretty okay to feel."
"Sometimes," Monoma argues. "In certain situations, when-"
Shinsou grabs his collar and pulls him forward, pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss, before he pulls himself away.
"You talk a lot, you know that?" Shinsou asks, and Monoma wishes he could respond, but he's so shocked, his muscle have frozen up. Shinsou lets out a soft laugh and lets him go.
"You know, your laugh is pretty cute," Monoma murmurs.
"Cute," Shinsou scoffs, and a smile adorns Monoma's lips.
Some things don't change, like the way Shinsou gets embarrassed when he's called cute, or the way he scratches the back of his neck when he's slightly nervous. Some things don't change, like the way Monoma's fist clenches when someone looks at Shinsou the wrong way, or how he has this one, soft, small smile reserved specifically for Shinsou. And some things do change, like how Monoma has opened up a bit more to the idea of not repressing emotions, and how Shinsou smiles and talks a bit more.
Shinsou takes a handful of damp flower petals and places them on Monoma's head, grinning at the way they frame his face like some cheesy, romantic anime sequence.
Monoma has the feeling that he'll always find his way back to Shinsou.