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Jemma was pacing around the room in a tight circular pattern, moving repeatedly as her hands shake with the tension built up inside. Occasionally they slapped into her sides, and occasionally she deviates from the pattern to slam her forehand against the wall. It hurts but right now the pain is all that’s keeping her anchored to the present. Everything just...hurts, and she’s having a hard time processing so much emotion. Daisy walked by just as Jemma started banging her head on the wall again and slipped into the room, a message quickly sent to May before she approaches.
“Jem, you okay?” Daisy asked, and Jemma wanted to let out a laugh because of course she’s not okay, she would’ve thought that was pretty obvious. She wants to turn and face Daisy and tell her that everything fine but it’s like an invisible force has frozen her body leaving her unable to move or communicate. She can feel Daisy lead her away from the wall and keep an arm on her shoulder when another set of footsteps appear. The sound is muffled, like her head is underwater, she tried not to dwell on that description given past experiences though it’s the only one that really fit how she’s feeling. However, even though the murkiness she can tell May’s voice from anywhere.
She can’t make out the specifics of what Daisy told May, but she can feel the older a woman gently guide her towards the door.
“We’re going back to the room, okay? Give you a chance to cool off” May tells her, a hand gently stroking her hair as the other rests on her back. Jemma feels lucky to have her and for Daisy too even though right now she can’t verbalise her gratitude.
“I’m going to help you into bed with your weighted blanket” May told her once they reached the room and Jemma felt grateful for the warning, the soothing pressure didn’t quite register until the shutdown started to ease but once her mind cleared up a bit then having the weight of the blanket on top of definitely started to help. She looked around and May gave her a brief smile when their eyes met.
“You seemed overwhelmed and non responsive. Daisy said you had been banging your head on the wall prior. I think you had a shutdown” May explained, it took a moment to process but then Jemma found herself nodding her head in agreement, that did seem to describe how she had been feeling.
“I don’t remember having a shutdown before” Jemma said thoughtfully, her voice still a little scratchy as she sat herself up with a sigh
“It’s common to feel hazy and unaware of what’s happening during one. But it’s okay, I’m here now” May reassured her, checking before she rested a gentle hand on Jemma’s shoulder. The girl winced at the pain in her head that was still buzzing around after everything and as if May could just tell, the older woman retrieved painkillers and a glass of water for her to take.
“Thanks for looking after me” Jemma said after taking the pills, leaning up against May who moved to a more comfortable position beside her on the bed and slipped an arm around the girls shoulders, gently pulling her close and holding her safe.
“That’s what family does, Jemma. We care about you. I’m never going to get mad at you for having a meltdown or a shutdown” May told her, she could see some hesitance in the girls eyes so continued a little “Perhaps we can try teaching you some less dangerous stims and coping methods, but that’s just something that we can work on to make you more comfortable and safe”
Jemma thought it was nice to just settle against May, hearing footsteps and arms suddenly slung around her from the other side she realised that May must’ve texted her that Jemma was doing better. She smiled a little, letting Daisy settle next to her she felt safe in between her two favourite people as she slowly drifted off to sleep.