Chapter Text
The last thing that Edmund Pevensie needed in his life was somebody else to act like an overprotective older brother.
This thought was at the forefront of his mind one afternoon in mid-April, when he was standing in the middle of the living room at his family home, there to say goodbye yet again to his older siblings, Peter and Susan, before they headed back to their 'adult' lives after spending the holidays at their childhood home.
Susan was going back to America to work and travel, for at least the next two to three months, as she'd told their parents.
Judging by all the private messages his older sister had sent him recently, Edmund also suspected that there was a maybe a man over in America who Susan fancied, and that this was the reason why she was always so eager to return to the States after every visit home to their small, quiet village in the countryside, almost exactly an hour away from London, where not a lot happened on a day to day basis.
Not that Edmund minded very much about all of Susan's messages about 'handsome men'. After all, it had been quite nice to have someone to confide in when he'd started to realise that he also found men rather handsome, too. Not to mention that Susan understood exactly why Edmund had always been so fascinated by tales about princes, even when he was very young.
While Susan was going back to America, Peter was returning to study at Oxford University. Edmund had almost lost track of how many years Peter had already completed at the prestigious university. After all, although his secondary school teachers had often insisted that Edmund was one of the brightest students in his class, all thought of academic study had always bored him. If it wasn't for his parents' loud and constant praise of Peter's achievements, Edmund probably would have avoided all discussion about Oxford all together, if it had been his own choice.
The Pevensies' friend Caspian was also in the living room today, apparently trying to play games with Edmund's cousin Eustace in the corner of the room to keep him occupied, while Edmund's younger sister Lucy joined in with the games with a big grin on her face…although Edmund suspected that she was simply making an effort to look happy in order to keep up Eustace's enthusiasm. Edmund had once tried to explain Eustace's typical behaviour to his group of friends, but really, Eustace had to be seen to be believed.
Edmund and Lucy had first met Caspian a few months ago, when Lucy had been attempting to help Edmund with his supermarket shopping and Edmund had been insisting that he could carry all the shopping bags himself. Of course, one of the shopping bags had split open as they walked home, causing its contents to spill out all over the pavement.
That was when Caspian had rushed to their aid like some kind of knight in shining armour, kneeling down to help Edmund pick up the spilled food items with a reassuring grin while Edmund fought off a strange urge to blush (telling himself the whole time that he was just embarrassed by his own clumsy behaviour), and feeling almost like he had been stunned into silence, while Lucy grinned and thanked Caspian as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
After he'd ignored Edmund's protests and walked alongside them, helping them to carry the remains of their shopping for the rest of the journey home, Caspian told them both a bit about his life; he'd moved to the village recently to help take care of his sick father, who happened to be the only family he had left, and he was in his final year at university, studying English literature, with a focus on Shakespeare and the classics.
After that day, Caspian just seemed to gradually become a part of their lives, helping them to babysit their cousin Eustace, and sharing long discussions with Lucy about literature.
Caspian seemed to show up at the family home a lot, usually with strange excuses as to why he was there, or he would show up at Edmund's flat, asking to borrow things, or he'd bring books over that he insisted Edmund would like to read, while Edmund would always be too busy staring at Caspian to really notice the books...
Edmund was still trying to work out why Caspian was so enthusiastic about being here today, when he wasn't even a member of their family. He supposed it could be because Caspian wanted to spend more time with Eustace, who seemed to provide Caspian with hours of endless amusement, although Edmund wasn't sure why exactly this was the case-unlike Caspian, Edmund had never found Eustace's constant outbursts or his insulting entries in the diary he insisted on writing every day to be particularly funny.
He also supposed that Caspian could be here because he genuinely enjoyed spending time with Lucy, and maybe he wanted to continue the 'lively debate' about Shakespeare that they had yesterday evening.
Or maybe he was even here to wish Peter good luck with his next term at Oxford. As a passionate student of literature, Caspian really seemed to appreciate Peter's dedication to his university studies (unlike Edmund), and Caspian and Peter seemed to share similar points of view about lots of things.
Although, Edmund couldn't help suspecting that Caspian was really here to see Susan off. She did look very pretty today in a blue dress and her hair styled into perfect curls, and Edmund had already noticed that Caspian held Susan close for an unnaturally long time after he'd given her a hug a few minutes ago (not that he was paying too much attention to that, or anything). He wasn't sure why however this display of affection had made him feel like there were knots in his stomach, and like he maybe wanted to kick something.
Edmund was distracted from his thoughts when Susan opened her arms to give him a hug. As Susan held him tight and made him promise to send her a message soon, Edmund felt conflicting emotions.
He was sad to see Peter and Susan go, he really was-all of Edmund's significant childhood memories involved all of his siblings, with the four of them growing up together and forming a close bond, always playing their childhood games involving kings and queens and various fairy-tale creatures, and it had always been nice to have Susan to confide in, and to have Peter to attempt to solve all his problems for him. It often felt as though a part of him were missing whenever he was separated from any of his siblings.
But on the other hand, the whole time Susan and Peter had been back home, it felt almost as though they'd reverted back to their childhood roles, with Peter taking charge of everything and constantly bossing Edmund around. Edmund was nineteen now, with his own job and rented flat and independence, and he was more than capable of taking care of himself-and his younger sister and cousin-and a more selfish part of him was therefore looking forward to getting some of this independence back now that the holidays were over; he wanted his parents to go back to seeing him as the one who could take charge of situations, not Peter.
As though to prove Edmund's point, as soon as he had patted Peter awkwardly on the back, his older brother suddenly sighed and folded his arms, looking at Edmund with what could only be described as an expression of sympathy.
"I do hope you're going to be all right, Edmund," said Peter in the annoyingly pompous accent that he seemed to have picked up since he'd started at Oxford, "after Susan and I are gone…"
"I'll be fine," Edmund quickly cut him off, trying to sound as insistent as possible.
He was so busy trying not to frown or glare that at first he didn't notice that Caspian had moved closer to him. But then, Caspian put his left arm around him, which Edmund couldn't help but pay attention to.
"He has me," Caspian told Peter with a smile, as he looked significantly from Edmund and then back to Peter again before he pulled Edmund even closer to his body, almost like he was trying to shield him, to protect him.
This time, Edmund couldn't help the scowl that crossed his face. As nice as it felt to have Caspian standing so close to him, Edmund didn't like where this was going. He'd waited years to step out of Peter's shadow, and now it seemed like someone else was trying to step right into Peter's place instead, to pick up where his older brother left off.
He especially didn't like the way that both Peter and Susan raised their eyebrows at Caspian's response, sharing a not-so-discreet glance, almost like they knew something that Edmund didn't.
It also didn't help that Caspian was looking rather handsome today, wearing a tight black T-shirt, dark jeans and with his long(ish) hair styled into what Edmund was sure Lucy would call a 'man-bun'.
"I'll be fine," Edmund insisted again through gritted teeth as he glared at both Peter and Caspian.
For a few days after Peter and Susan's departure, Edmund didn't think too deeply about Caspian's behaviour in front of his siblings.
However, he was reminded of it all too vividly a couple of weeks later, when he was spending a Saturday afternoon with his cousin and his younger sister at the lake on the outskirts of the village.
Eustace and Lucy both sat perched on a tree branch overlooking the clear waters of the lake, the two of them looking down into the water's depths with obvious looks of trepidation on their faces.
The lake was a popular place to swim during the summer months, but as it was late April, a lot of the young people from the village were too cautious to take the plunge, fearing that the water would still be too cold at this time of year.
Of course, Edmund just had to be the one to go into the water first, telling himself as he prepared to jump that he was just testing the waters to make sure that everything would be safe for the younger members of his family. Although, in reality, a part of him just wanted to say that he had done it; to say that he had jumped first.
Eustace called out to him, daring Edmund to jump in with his clothes on. Edmund had never backed down from a dare before, so, still fully clothed, and emboldened by the fact that he had an audience of two of his own family members, and also several teenagers who were watching with interest from the other side of the lake, Edmund took a running jump, feeling the typical thrill and rush of adrenaline that came with jumping into the unknown, and then the rush that came with submerging himself into the cold water with a loud splash, before he came up, gasping for air.
After taking a few seconds to readjust to the new temperature, he made sure to grin at Lucy, to let her know that he was all right.
"Well done, Edmund!" Lucy shouted enthusiastically, practically applauding his bravery.
Even Eustace looked mildly impressed.
Edmund was all too happy to provide them with today's entertainment in exchange for their admiration of his bravery.
Trying not to make his shivering, brought on by the cold water, look too obvious, Edmund had just started to raise his arms out of the water in triumph when…
"Edmund!"
He was distracted by the sound of someone shouting his name just at the edge of the lake, the voice sounding angry, insistent, scared, almost.
As his name was called a second time, Edmund turned his head in the direction of the voice.
He blinked in surprise a few times at the sight of Caspian, who was standing on the edge of the lake with his arms folded in what looked like a gesture of disapproval.
"Ed, what do you think you're doing?!" Caspian shouted at him.
Feeling confused, Edmund turned back to look at Lucy and Eustace as he continued to tread water, hoping that they could explain why Caspian was so upset. Lucy shook her head and shrugged, looking just as baffled as Edmund felt.
With a sigh, Edmund swam towards Caspian and reluctantly pulled himself up out of the water. He almost regretted jumping in fully-clothed now; it had seemed like a good idea at the time, but at the moment it felt like every item of wet clothing was weighing him down. Although he didn't think that it was completely necessary for Caspian to reach down to help him up.
"You're going to catch a cold!" Caspian insisted the second Edmund was out of the water and back on dry land. His expression looked genuinely terrified. "Do you know how dangerous it is, jumping into the cold water like that?"
Edmund couldn't help letting out an exasperated sigh. So that was what all Caspian's shouting was about.
Edmund was just about to argue with Caspian and insist that he most definitely wasn't going to catch a cold, when Caspian suddenly stepped even closer to him and started running his hands up and down Edmund's arms, like he was trying to warm him up or something, or like he was making do with this method in the absence of a towel.
Edmund tried to tell himself that the shivers that ran up and down his arms were more to do with feeling cold than the feeling of Caspian's hands on his body.
He was a bit distracted by the fact that Caspian looked even more handsome than usual today, wearing a white T-shirt that seemed to get a little bit more see-through every time Edmund got yet another drop of water on Caspian's clothes, and he was wearing his hair loose of its man-bun today, with the shoulder-length brown locks framing his face in the gentle breeze instead.
He knew that Caspian was only a couple of years older than he was, but at times like these, Edmund felt like Caspian was so much older, so much more mature than him, especially when he was attempting to boss Edmund around, the way Peter used to do.
Edmund had just managed to shrug Caspian's hands away from his arms, angrily insisting that he was fine, and silently starting to question why Caspian seemed to be so concerned for his well-being, when Caspian threw his arm around Edmund's shoulder instead, before he walked him determinedly away from the lake, the gesture seeming far too overprotective-in Edmund's eyes, anyway.
"You need to get indoors!" Caspian continued to insist as he pulled Edmund even closer, his expression still looking both concerned and angry. "Now, Edmund!"
Edmund felt his cheeks starting to flush bright red. He told himself that this blushing was just out of anger. After all, it wasn't like he couldn't swim; he hadn't been in any kind of difficulty; the water wasn't that cold. Besides, he was more than capable of taking responsibility for his own actions. He didn't need to be rescued from the lake like some kind of damsel in distress.
He sighed and rolled his eyes a couple of times before he turned around to share a look of exasperation with his sister and cousin. Lucy simply shrugged at him with a sympathetic expression on her face, but Edmund couldn't help noticing that Lucy and Eustace smirked at each other just before Edmund turned around to look at Caspian again.
"I'm fine," he insisted with another sigh. But he didn't move away from Caspian.
Of course, much to Edmund's annoyance, Caspian's prediction came true-less than twenty-four hours after jumping into the lake, he actually did catch a cold.
As he spent a miserable morning lying around on the sofa at his parents' house, feeling desperately sorry for himself, Edmund tried his best to console himself by thinking about how catching a cold was probably just a coincidence, and most likely had absolutely nothing to do with the cold water of the lake.
Edmund always came back home when he was feeling unwell, as the living room, with its mismatched cushions, multi-coloured rugs, patchwork quilts and bookshelves stacked all the way up to the ceiling with old books were always something of a comfort to him-a reminder of childhood and familiarity.
Whenever he got sick, the last thing Edmund wanted was pity, and Lucy always seemed to understand this perfectly. So as morning turned into afternoon, Lucy placed a mug of hot tea, a glass of cold water and all the medication and honey and lemon that Edmund could possibly need on a small table next to the sofa, before she left him alone wrapped in his blankets (where he could comfortably wallow in his misery until he felt better), and she went to join Eustace on the other side of the room.
After a few minutes of discussion, Edmund saw Eustace select his choice of film from the options available on the menu on the television screen. This film seemed to be about zombies. Edmund sighed to himself as he tried to take deep breaths through his blocked nose; he worried sometimes about his cousin's increasingly gory taste in films and video games.
For a moment before Eustace made his choice, Edmund had caught his younger sister looking almost longingly at the few films about princes and princesses, kings and queens, available on the screen menu, before she'd shrugged and allowed Eustace to make the final choice, probably to avoid a tantrum more than anything else.
Edmund was hit by a sudden flashback of when he was younger, when Susan would always ask him which story he wanted her to read to him as a bedtime story.
"The one with the prince," Edmund would always insist every single time, even though they owned lots of books about princes and Edmund hadn't been very good back then at being specific about things. Edmund had never really cared which book it was though, as long as an heroic prince played a starring role.
Back then, he'd believed he wanted to be like the princes of his favourite films and books; now, he knew he wanted to be with them.
As the sound of the zombies on the screen filled the room, Edmund felt a bit sorry for Lucy. He decided that as soon as he was feeling a bit better, he would spend another Saturday afternoon with her, watching a film of her choice.
He was just about to drift off into a light sleep when he heard the sound of another voice in the living room, its tone kind of soothing.
Just as he started to put two and two together and work out that Caspian was in the room, talking with Lucy in hushed tones, Edmund suddenly felt a hand softly brush a couple of stray strands of hair out of his eyes. Before Edmund could sigh or make any sarcastic comments, he opened his eyes in time to see Caspian running his fingers gently over his face, with a look of what could only be described as concern in his eyes.
Edmund turned away from that intense stare, but it didn't stop him from being aware of the fact that Caspian had started to adjust the blankets around him, like he was tucking him in.
"You'll feel better soon, Edmund," he heard Caspian whisper.
"Mmph," was about all that Edmund managed to reply, incoherently.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Eustace scribbling notes in his diary as he glared at the two of them. Edmund really didn't want to know what his cousin was writing about.
"Is there anything I can get you?" Caspian then asked him, as he went back to stroking Edmund's hair.
"I'm fine," Edmund grumbled, allowing his logical mind to speak for him, even as his traitorous body leaned into Caspian's gentle touches.
Edmund woke up with a start in the middle of the night, trying to muffle his shouts. As he got his bearings again, he remembered that he'd fallen asleep in his old bed in his old room at home, apparently too tired or too ill to head back to his own flat.
"It was just a nightmare," he told himself firmly, trying to keep quiet.
He had always been prone to nightmares as a child, especially when he wasn't feeling well. Back then, he'd had Peter to comfort him, as Edmund would always run into his older brother's room, searching for somewhere safe to sleep after his bad dreams, and Peter would simply allow Edmund to climb into his bed, never mocking him for it.
Sometimes, Lucy and Susan would hear Edmund running into Peter's room, and they would follow, with the four of them all falling asleep in Peter's bed before waking up in the morning to the sight of their parents standing in the doorway, with hands over their hearts and soft smiles on their faces, like they were all adorable.
"Edmund, are you all right?"
Edmund jumped, his childhood memories quickly evaporating as he turned his head to see Caspian, of all people, standing in the doorway, looking really worried.
What are you still doing here? Edmund wanted to ask him, even though he knew that something like that would sound a bit rude.
He'd heard Caspian laughing and joking with Lucy and his mother after he went up to bed, but he'd assumed that Caspian had left hours ago.
"I'm fine," he chose to say instead, hoping he sounded convincing, "just a nightmare…"
Caspian didn't look very convinced. He shuffled from one foot to the other for a moment or two, looking a bit uncomfortable, or like he was trying to make a decision about something.
"Ed, do you want me to stay with you? Just for a little while?" Caspian offered. Even in the darkness, his cheeks looked rather flushed, and he seemed to be taking deep breaths. Edmund wondered if maybe Caspian was feeling ill, too.
Edmund was just about to say no, thanks, or insist all over again that he was fine, that he wasn't a child and he didn't need to be protected from bad dreams anymore, but he supposed he must have been feeling especially drowsy tonight, or disorientated, or maybe he'd just consumed too much honey and lemon, because he found himself simply shrugging and nodding.
Before he could have second thoughts, Caspian was walking towards the bed and getting in. He kept his distance from Edmund in the bed, but he was close enough to cause Edmund's heart to start pounding against his chest.
Edmund tried to tell himself that he was being an idiot for feeling so nervous. He knew that this was nothing special for Caspian-he'd heard Caspian laughing and joking with Peter before now, telling him about how he liked to cuddle; how it made him feel better to have people sleep close to him at night; how he'd woken up in the morning many a time since he'd started at university to discover that he'd fallen asleep next to various fellow students.
However, Caspian's presence must have offered some sort of comfort to him, as well, because Edmund drifted off to sleep only a few minutes later…
Much to Edmund's embarrassment, he woke up after only about an hour to find that he had changed his sleeping position at some point, because he was now cuddled up close to Caspian, practically nuzzling his nose into Caspian's neck while Caspian held him almost protectively in his arms.
He couldn't believe he'd moved close to Caspian like that-before tonight, Edmund hadn't cuddled with anyone for years.
Edmund was just making plans to move out of Caspian's embrace as quickly and as subtly as possible, when, to Edmund's horror, Caspian suddenly opened his eyes and looked down at Edmund with an almost fond grin on his face.
"Are you comfortable?" Caspian asked him with a smirk, using the almost-mocking expression he seemed to resort to sometimes; the expression that always convinced Edmund that secretly, Caspian was nowhere near as pure or as noble or as innocent as most of the little old ladies in the village seemed to think he was.
"Shut up and go to sleep!" Edmund snapped at him in barely more than a whisper, trying hard not to blush.
The annoying thing was, he really was comfortable. It was soothing, being held by Caspian like this. He liked being so close to him, one reason for this being that Caspian smelled really good. Edmund was vaguely reminded of ocean breezes, and beaches, and forests, before he silently told himself he was just delirious from his cold. Deep down though, he knew that he would probably like cuddling with Caspian again at night, if the opportunity arose, maybe even every night...
He couldn't help letting out a groan as Caspian closed his eyes. As pleasant as this felt, he would never live the moment down; he would never be able to convince Caspian now that he was a mature adult who didn't need anyone to take care of him.
"By the way, Caspian, we are never talking about this again," Edmund whispered against Caspian's neck.
Caspian simply smiled, his eyes still closed.
Edmund had been hoping against hope that Caspian would stop the overprotective-older-brother-act as soon as he got over his cold and started to feel better, but he had no such luck.
The following Friday evening, Edmund arrived at his parents' house after work, and he followed the delicious smell of baking coming from the direction of the kitchen.
As always, the kitchen looked like something out of some sort of Country Living magazine, with wooden floors and surfaces, old-fashioned china and cutlery, floral tea towels and stacks of pots and pans and recipe books piled up all over the place.
Edmund stepped right into the room and saw Caspian, helping Lucy and Eustace make several kinds of dessert. Edmund had to admit, if only to himself, that Caspian looked a little bit adorable, with flour on his cheeks and melted chocolate on his blue T-shirt, but Edmund really didn't want to think about how adorable Caspian looked right now.
After he nodded at the three of them in greeting, ignoring the way that Caspian smiled gently at him as he walked into the room, Edmund was just about to attempt to walk around them, so he could find some food in the fridge and then go and hide away in the background, when Caspian suddenly moved to stand in front of him, holding a fork with a chocolate-covered strawberry on the end of it.
"Ed, try this!" he grinned at him as he held out the chocolate-covered strawberry to Edmund with a look of enthusiasm on his face, like the strawberry was the most delicious food there ever was.
Edmund frowned at the strawberry for a moment or two. Surely Caspian wasn't actually going to attempt to feed it to him?
Before Caspian could get any ideas along those lines, Edmund hurriedly removed the strawberry from the fork with his fingers and put it in his mouth. He was an adult, and more than capable of feeding himself.
Caspian frowned for a moment, almost like he was disappointed about something, but then he simply shrugged and said, "It's delicious, isn't it?"
Edmund shrugged in return, ignoring a pointed glare from Lucy that seemed to suggest he was possibly being rude, before he walked over to the fridge, only looking back at the others from behind the fridge door every now and again to see what they were doing, and telling himself that he was too old to join in with all cake-making-fun like Lucy and Eustace, mainly because he didn't want Caspian to think that he was even more immature than he already seemed to think he was.
Caspian seemed to be so busy staring back at him that he apparently hadn't noticed that Eustace was stealing pieces of chocolate from the desserts on display on the kitchen table and stuffing them into his mouth.
The next morning, Edmund sighed to himself as he stood in the middle of the family living room, adjusting the buttons on his shirt for what felt like the tenth time, trying and failing to get ready for the village fete that would be taking place in the afternoon.
It didn't help that the traditional outfits typically worn by the villagers who were attending the fete were always so old-fashioned; it seemed like they were some kind of tribute to ancestors from previous generations who had grown up in the village, or something.
Sometimes, it felt like the whole village was still living in the past. They even awarded some sort of crown every year to whoever was voted as the 'Village Princess' at the fete.
"It's nothing more than a sexist beauty contest!" Edmund always used to insist, as soon as he started to develop really strong opinions about everything. Unfortunately, Susan would always laugh at his moral opposition to the contest, which wasn't really surprising-before she left for America, she'd won the crown every single year.
Edmund wasn't exactly very good at dealing with the more complicated buttons and zips on his modern clothes, let alone those on this old-fashioned outfit, where all the details seemed even more intricate than usual. He was struggling with the buttons all over again when Caspian suddenly walked through the front door, calling out to see if anyone was home.
"In here," Edmund sighed.
Caspian pushed open the double doors leading to the living room and walked in as though he owned the place.
Edmund was about to make some sort of sarcastic comment, but then he remembered how fond of Caspian his parents were; how they invited him to every party and even just sat and drank tea with him when they had afternoons off. And Eustace's parents always insisted that they couldn't have asked for a better babysitter for their son, as Caspian was apparently one of the few people who could talk Eustace out of a tantrum.
Even Eustace had taken to writing insulting entries about Caspian in his diary recently. To the outside observer, perhaps this wouldn't seem like a positive thing, but Edmund knew better-an entry in Eustace's diary always meant that Eustace was actually rather fond of the person.
Before Edmund could think of something polite to say to make conversation, Caspian was suddenly walking determinedly towards him.
For a moment, Edmund thought that was Caspian was going to hug him, but then his hands were on Edmund's shirt, and he was fixing some of the buttons, and pulling the fabric straighter, like he was trying to smooth out the creases, and Edmund realised with a brief flash of what felt like horror that Caspian was helping him to adjust his clothes, to make him look smarter for the fete.
It was almost like Edmund was some kind of child who didn't know how to dress himself.
The worst part was that it didn't even feel that bad, to have Caspian's hands running over the fabric of his shirt.
Caspian suddenly stopped and took a step back from him. "Much better," he said proudly with a nod, a smile creeping to his face as he looked Edmund in the eye.
As Caspian smiled at him, Edmund couldn't help secretly wondering what it would be like if Caspian were undressing him, instead, but then he blushed and quickly shook off that thought, telling himself that he wasn't allowed to think that way.
It was all the more confusing that Caspian was still watching him with a hopeful expression, like he was waiting for Edmund to say something.
"Yes…er…I think we ought to get going," Edmund mumbled to fill the silence, probably sounding like an idiot.
Edmund walked in the direction of the village square with Caspian and Lucy, and also Eustace, who seemed to be tagging along behind them all with a sulky expression on his face while his parents kept an eye on him from a distance.
On their way, they walked past all the cottages with their thatched roofs, the fields with all their flowers, the farms, and the old train station where the steam trains used to pass through which was now a tourist attraction, and also the old post office with its red letterboxes outside, and even the red telephone booth that nobody used anymore, built by the side of the main road that led out of the village.
Everything was exactly the same, as always.
Edmund often thought about leaving, of just heading to London one day and staying there, or going off on an adventure abroad like Susan, or even just going to live in another part of the country, like Peter, but lately, it felt like something was holding him back, keeping him here.
As they walked, Caspian went on and on about how he considered the Pevensies to be his family now: "Like the siblings I never had…mostly," he continued, while Lucy smiled at him, looking genuinely moved by his little speech.
Edmund frowned a little. He wasn't sure what the 'mostly' part of that sentence was supposed to mean. But then he told himself he didn't care. He moved a few steps ahead of the others, pretending he was leading the way for them all.
"Even you, Eustace," Caspian added on to his speech, as he looked over his shoulder with a grin and a wink.
Surprisingly, Eustace sort-of grinned back, in response to Caspian's joke.
Edmund was the only one who wasn't smiling. Honestly, every time Caspian used the word 'sibling', he felt a painful twist in his gut. He already had an older brother, and he definitely didn't need another one.
He wanted Caspian in his life, but not as a brother…
The village fete was the same as it was every year-there was music, and dancing, and games, and food and drink, and even a raffle, which Edmund's mother seemed to be thrilled about, like this was something really exciting.
Edmund went through the motions of visiting the stalls and talking to his friends and neighbours, but what he was really looking forward to was the mock-sword-fighting that was a traditional part of the event. Since Peter went away to Oxford, Edmund had won the competition every single time.
However, this year he had the misfortune of going against Caspian in the final rounds. If Edmund had thought that polite, charming Caspian would be easy competition, then he'd thought wrong. Caspian was a skilled fighter with his plastic sword, anticipating Edmund's every move, and blocking him almost every time before he struck swift blows of his own. At one point, he smiled briefly at Edmund, and Edmund lost all focus, which enabled Caspian to go in for the final strike, winning the competition.
Edmund stood still as though in shock for a couple of seconds as Caspian acknowledged his audience by taking a bow. Then the shock turned to irritation.
Even Caspian's reassuring hand on his shoulder wasn't enough to pacify him. He felt the anger that always came with losing surge through his body, and he was just about to make a few scathing comments and maybe insist that it hadn't been a fair fight (surely it broke the rules, to have an opponent who was so attractive?), when he caught sight of Eustace out of the corner of his eye, standing by one of the games stands with his hands balled into fists.
"I wanted to win a prize!" he heard his cousin shout before he started to stamp his feet. His face had gone bright red, the way it always did when Eustace was about to throw a tantrum.
Edmund quickly felt the anger leave his body. He didn't want to act like Eustace, not now that he was older and he'd told himself that he'd grown out of all of that behaviour.
It wasn't as though these fights with plastic swords at the village fete even mattered, anyway. Edmund cared a lot more about winning the village football matches, or being the brave one who jumped into the lake first every spring. He wasn't a child, or a coward.
So, instead of getting annoyed, Edmund shook Caspian's hand, offered his congratulations and went to join Eustace, vowing to play some of the games and win a few prizes on his cousin's behalf to try to calm him down.
Unfortunately, Caspian seemed to be thinking along the same lines, because he also went to play some of the games at the nearby stands. A crowd of girls quickly gathered around, applauding enthusiastically every time Caspian scored more points.
A few of the girls even seemed to throw hopeful glances in Edmund's direction, like they were expecting him to win prizes for them.
Before he moved to Oxford, Peter always seemed to go on dates with the prettiest girls in the village, and it seemed like Edmund was expected to simply follow in his older brother's footsteps. Edmund couldn't help grinning to himself. He definitely wasn't interested in dating the prettiest girls in the village. But then his grin faded as he thought about how the only person here who he really wouldn't mind dating only thought of him as a brother.
When Caspian won his final prize-a box of Turkish Delight (in what looked like a heart-shaped box, for some reason-perhaps the local shopkeepers were feeling particularly sentimental this week), a few of the girls looked at Caspian almost hopefully, like they wished he would share his hard-earned prize with them, but, much to Edmund's surprise, just as he was about to walk away and go and find Lucy, Caspian suddenly walked over to him.
"Edmund," he said with a half-grin and a strangely intense look in his eyes as he handed the box over to Edmund, before he hurried off in the opposite direction, like he was suddenly in a rush to get away.
Again, Edmund felt a little irritated. He wondered if Caspian was giving him the Turkish Delight as some sort of consolation prize, because Edmund had lost the sword fight, and because he thought that Edmund was too young or too incapable to win something for himself.
Ignoring the glares of some of the girls who had been watching this turn of events (honestly, Edmund had no idea what they were so upset about), he walked away from the centre of the village square.
He went and sat in a dark corner, unable to resist trying a few pieces of Turkish Delight.
After a few minutes, Eustace sat down next to him, helping himself to handfuls of the Turkish Delight without asking before Edmund could even offer him any.
As the evening turned into night, Edmund had just started to walk away from the fete when he caught sight of Lucy, running towards him with a big grin on her face.
"Edmund, look!" she shouted as soon as she approached him, sounding a bit out of breath, but also genuinely happy. With another grin, she held up something sparkly so Edmund could see it.
After a couple of seconds of blinking rapidly in the face of the sparkly object, Edmund worked out what it was. A tiara.
"Lucy, congratulations!" said Edmund with a grin, instantly giving her a big hug.
For all of his negative comments about the 'Village Princess' competition, he was genuinely happy for his younger sister. He'd always spotted her staring over at the crowns with a wistful expression on her face whenever the competition took place, but she'd never once considered entering, even though both Edmund and Peter had always told her to at least try, if it was what she wanted. Before Susan left, Lucy had never been brave enough to go up against her sister in the competition.
Feeling in good spirits at the news of his sister's victory, Edmund decided to just let go and have fun and be silly with her for a little while. He tried on her tiara and kept it on his head as they walked through the streets, laughing together.
However, the happy moment was soon interrupted when Caspian walked past them with a bottle of beer in his hand, looking a little tipsy.
He caught sight of Edmund and stopped and stared at him for a few moments, before what definitely looked like a smirk (or maybe it was even a sneer, Edmund wasn't sure) crept to his face.
"I could be your prince, Edmund!" he suddenly shouted out as Edmund went to walk past him.
Edmund froze on the spot at Caspian's words. He felt raw, exposed, almost like Caspian had somehow found out about Edmund's childhood fondness for the princes in his favourite stories (as unlikely as this idea seemed), and now he was perhaps mocking him for it.
He almost wished that Caspian didn't look so stunningly handsome right now, with the fabric of his old-fashioned shirt hanging loose, and most of the buttons left unfastened in his carefree, tipsy state, leaving some of his tanned chest and torso on display. He almost looked like one of the princes from Edmund's favourite stories, ironically.
As always when Edmund was feeling embarrassed, the feeling of anger rapidly set in. He quickly turned around and started to walk towards Caspian, ready to start an argument. However, Lucy hurriedly grabbed hold of his arm, effectively blocking his way.
"Edmund!" she hissed, looking at him with a stern expression, warning him not to start anything.
Taking in the expression on her face, Edmund started to think about how Lucy wasn't a child anymore. She was definitely growing up. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.
With a sigh, Edmund ignored Caspian and carried on walking, now more than ready to go back home.
He handed the tiara back to Lucy, no longer in the mood to laugh and joke with her.
"You know, Edmund," Lucy muttered to him as she continued to walk by his side, "Caspian really cares about you. Maybe you should try to be a bit nicer to him?"
Edmund simply shrugged while Lucy rolled her eyes at his stubbornness.