Chapter Text
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The knock makes her jump simply because she’s lived here for nearly two weeks now and her door has yet to be knocked upon.
Sansa approaches it hesitantly, unsure if she even wants to open it. Her parents are the only ones who know where she is – keeping it from all of her siblings and especially Jon – but still, she is afraid that maybe she hadn’t moved away as well as she could have and she’s already been found by one of them.
The person knocks again and Sansa looks through the peephole in the door to see who it is.
Well, it’s certainly no one she knows. He is tall, lean with a dark brown beard and matching, somewhat longish, hair. He stands there, seeming to be patient for her to answer, and since she has music playing in her flat, she can’t very well hide and pretend that she’s not home.
Slowly, she turns the locks and opens the door. The man, when he sees her, takes a moment to look at her as well and then he shakes his head slightly as if to cease him from doing it any longer.
“Hi,” he breaks into a warm, charming smile. “I’m Daario.” He sticks his hand out.
Sansa hesitates. “Sansa,” she then returns and shakes his hand, her hand barely touching his for more than a mere moment before she’s pulling it away again.
“I live across the hall,” Daario says and gestures his thumb over his shoulder to the door behind him.
“Oh,” Sansa says, not too sure what else she is supposed to say.
“I hate to ask this, but… the song… well, you’ve been playing it all day and to put it lightly, I’m about to bash my head against the wall,” Daario tells her.
Sansa’s eyes widen. “Oh! I didn’t know you could hear it!”
She quickly turns and hurries back into her living room, turning her stereo off, thus stopping from Sinead O’Conner’s Nothing Compares to You playing any longer. Having the song play over and over, the quiet that falls into the room is almost deafening.
“THANK GOD!” She hears a voice shout out from somewhere else on the floor echo out.
Sansa feels her cheeks explode in a blush.
Daario smiles at her. “Thin walls. You’ll learn.”
“I’m so sorry,” Sansa rushes out. “I didn’t think… I’m surprised no one has come to tell me before you.”
“It’s a good building. We all figured you were going through a breakup,” Daario tells her with a shrug.
Sansa feels her blush deepen even further until her cheeks feel as if they are actually on fire.
She doesn’t know if it’s actually a breakup if she just leaves without a word.
Sometimes, she sits on her new couch in her new flat and she wonders if she should have. Should she have sat down with Jon and told him why she was leaving? But then she thinks that the reason is rather obvious. Jon shouldn’t need her to spell it all out for him. And also, she keeps imagining that if she did sit down and talk with him, it would only give him more opportunities to tell her more lies and in her opinion, Jon Snow has already told her enough lies to last her another lifetime.
“Well, that’s a wonderful first impression to have made,” Sansa murmurs more to herself.
Daario overhears and he just smiles. “Don’t worry about it. I went through my own breakup a couple months ago and I liked to sing Nine Inch Nails’ Closer when I was drunk – which was all of the time – and the building didn’t pitch me out for that.”
For the first time in what feels like weeks, Sansa thinks she might actually smile at that.
Something stops her though from actually going through with it.
She looks at Daario and she begins to wonder what Jon is doing in that moment. Is he listening to music? Some breakup song on repeat like she is? Is he drinking? Is he drunk right now? Does he even miss her?
Sansa swallows thickly at that last thought.
She can hardly sleep at night, unable to think of much else except him and how much her heart aches and how much she loves him. Despite the pain he has put her through, she still is completely in love with him and how pathetic does that make her? To be awake at night, crying, and to be awake during the day, listening to gut-wrenching breakup songs, missing him, Sansa is aware she’s extremely pathetic.
Jon can have his choice of any woman in this world. He’s had his fair share of women – apparently – and Sansa is a fool for thinking that she’s ever been anything special to him. They lived together, he told her constantly that he loved her, but Sansa looks back at her relationship with him and wonders if any of it had been true; if any of it had been real.
Sansa remembers that Daario is still standing there. “I’m sorry for the music and thank you for telling me.”
Daario looks at her and seems to know that her mind is a thousand miles away right now; back in Westeros and Winterfell and everyone still there and certainly not here anymore in Braavos, across the sea in Essos.
He gives her a slight nod. “You let me know if you need anything. I’m right across the hall,” he reminds her. “And I work from home so I’m usually around.”
“Thank you,” Sansa says and again, she tries to give him a smile, but, again, fails horribly at forming one.
She takes a step back into her flat and closes the door, locking it once more.
She walks past her stereo, leaving everything silent, and instead, she heads into her bedroom. Her laptop is still on the bed where she had left it this morning when she and her mom had face-chatted with one another. Ned and Catelyn are the only ones to know where she is – Ned actually taking time off from work to come and help her get settled, renting this flat and then taking her shopping for some furniture. He had told her siblings that he was going on a business trip because Sansa hadn’t wanted any of them to know where she was going.
Catelyn and Ned don’t know everything, but they know enough and they are always reminding their children that nothing comes before family, but they can’t deny that Sansa feels completely betrayed by Robb and Arya right now and speaking to them is second to the last thing she wants to do right now.
The last thing being talking with Jon.
That morning, during their chat – after Catelyn assured Sansa that she was the only one home at the moment and no one else was there to see Sansa or overhear where she is right now – Catelyn had reminded Sansa that today is Arya’s birthday.
Sansa already knew that though and certainly didn’t need the reminder. She isn’t going to do anything about it though. Arya – like Jon – has shown Sansa that she doesn’t matter much, choosing Jon over her sister in keeping a secret that would absolutely devastate Sansa if it ever came to light – and that was exactly what had happened.
Robb and Arya had tried to tell Sansa - even though she hadn't wanted to hear it at the time - that yes, they knew about Jon sleeping with both Ygritte and Val during the night of the threesome, but they had assumed that Jon had already told Sansa about it. According to them both, it hadn’t been their business and both had just wanted to stay about of it.
And Sansa hates that she doesn’t know if she can believe them or not.
Sansa has always known that Arya’s never liked her that much and she has always known that Arya has loved their brother’s best friend far more than Arya has ever loved her – if she loves Sansa at all. So Arya keeping a secret like that from Sansa – whether that’s what she’s actually done or not – isn’t all that surprising to Sansa. It hurts, yes, but it’s almost expected that Arya would rather cover for Jon than think of Sansa and her possible broken heart.
But Robb… Robb and Sansa have always been close. She’s always looked up to her older brother and Robb has always done what was needed to do to protect her. Not knowing whether she can believe him or not in this matter feels devastating to her. Yes, Jon is his best friend, but she is his sister and if he knew his best friend had done something like this and if he knew that Jon was keeping it from her, Robb surely would have stuck up for Sansa and tell her about it instead of waiting for Jon to. Right?
Sansa lays down on her bed and turning her head on the pillow, she looks out her window. A soft rain has begun to fall and it taps steadily against the window panes. Sansa shivers even though she can feel the heat coming through the vents.
It’s in the middle of the day, but that doesn’t stop Sansa from getting beneath her covers, fully dressed. Curled onto her side, burrowing, she shivers again and keeps her eyes on the window and as the rain continues to fall, she can feel tears brimming in her eyes. Before now, before packing up and walking out on Jon and moving here, away from all of her family and friends, Sansa hadn’t known that a person could possibly cry as much as she’s been crying since isolating herself inside of her new flat.
She wonders what is going to be done for Arya’s birthday today. They’ll all go out to the pub tonight, Sansa doesn’t doubt that. That’s what they always do for one of their birthdays. Arya, Robb, Theon and Gendry. Will Jon be with them? Will Ygritte and Val? Will they all go out to celebrate and drink and dance and have the grandest of times while not thinking of Sansa at all? Do they think of her at all?
Sansa hates that she can’t imagine them doing so.
They’ve already thought so little of her, why would that change now just because she’s gone?
…