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He feels the loss of his mother far before he's officially alerted to her death. His mother's force signature was brilliant light, the kind that Rey possessed and the same kind he sought to drive out of his own heart. Killing his father had been difficult, but nothing could compare to the burning pain in his chest followed by the lingering emptiness as he felt his mother fade from this life. He knew exactly who was to blame for her death, yet as he marched toward Hux's quarters he couldn't help but feel just as responsible for the tragedy as the pale faced man.
Without bothering to knock, Kylo charged into Hux's quarters. He found the man standing facing the large bay window in the room. Hux didn't give Kylo the courtesy of eye-contact when he coldly said, "It is in fact bad form to enter a room without knocking Supreme Leader" his tone smug and beyond sympathy.
"It was you, wasn't it?" Ren asked, fist clenched at his side, "You gave the order for her death?"
"Do not flatter yourself by thinking the General's death was personal," Hux sneered, "She was one of many causalities after we decimated the last of the rebels on base."
Panic immediately filled Kylo's senses before he could stop it. Reaching out with the force, he searched for Rey's light. "The girl." He demanded, still searching for a signature he knew may very well be gone, "What of the girl?"
"The desert rat you seem so fond of?" Hux asked, finally turning to face Ren. "We can't confirm her death, but I'm certain she's among the bodies on the compound." He ended his sentence with a smirk, the nonverbal equivalent of ill-placed gloating.
Kylo's head swum with the sudden influx of grief and desperation. He searched harder for Rey, every moment growing more desperate when he couldn't find her. He reached out with his hand to grab the older general by the throat, when suddenly he felt a shift in the air around him. Dropping Hux, he turned and walked out of the room ducking into a nearby conference space before the force connection can begin.
"Rey?" He called out hopefully, frantically searching around the room for the former desert-dweller.
Suddenly, the surroundings around him shifted, transforming into the molten planet of Mustafar. "Rey?" He called again, taking in the heat of his surroundings and noticing that he no longer had his light saber strapped to his waist.
"Foolish boy," A disembodied voice fills his ears as he frantically whipped his head from side to side looking for the source, "As if your precious Jedi could be found here."
Looking forward, Kylo found the form of Snoke standing a stones throw away. Kylo cannot remember a time where he saw the former Supreme Leader standing to his full height, and he's surprised to find that he's not much taller than Kylo. He supposes this is why he was brought here unarmed, as the fight might not be so unbalanced.
"How are you doing this?" Kylo asked, the line of question eerily similar to his first force bond with Rey, "I killed you."
"You cannot kill what is inside you, young Ren" A separate voice from behind him spoke.
Turning, Kylo comes face to face with the monster responsible for the erasure of light from his grandfather's soul. The Emperor stood tall, ominous hood in place over his head. "We live on within your soul, within the darkness of your heart."
"You shall only make me stronger if you live within the darkness," Kylo said, pushing down the unease he felt at being fenced in by the two Sith lords.
"We do not strive to make you strong," Snoke said, "We strive to make you weak."
Before he could even think about the words coming from Snoke's mouth, Kylo was struck with an onslaught of images. His mother, leaving him behind as she headed to another meeting of the Senate. His father dashing out in the dead of night as he watched from behind a door. Chewbacca recoiling once in fear as he watched Ben, age eight, throw a smattering of rocks at a window with the force. Luke waking him from his sleep as he held his light saber, prepared to strike down his own blood.
And finally, Rey. Rey, recoiling in fear at his touch. Rey, calling him a monster on repeat over and over until he pulled the hair from his head. Rey, lying motionless on the ground as Hux stepped over her corpse. Kylo screamed as the stills lasted longer and longer, like a film with an ending only he could see.
"Yes," The Emperor laughed, a cold chilling noise, "Give in to your anger, your despair. You will only come out stronger."
Pushing further into his thoughts, Snoke dragged forward memories of his time as Kylo's master. Horrible, painful memories filled Kylo's mind as his body ached from the exertion it took to stay conscious.
"Enough!" Kylo screamed, begging the monsters to leave his mind, "Search your feelings! I have seen enough!"
"No young Ren," Snoke whispered, "You still harbor feelings for your mother. Your grief will fuel you." Snoke crossed the distance separating them to place one cold hand on the side of Kylo's forehead. "You shall be the greatest Sith there has ever been." As if Snoke had pushed a button, Kylo's mind was filled with the image of his mother's death.
It had not been swift and painless, as he had foolishly hoped. Kylo watched as his mother, ever the fighter, shoot her blaster at every Stormtrooper that dared advance in her direction. In the end, it had been one swift shot to the back that had taken her out as she turned to watch Poe Dameron fall to the ground in a heap.
"General!" He heard the disembodied voice of Rey cry out as she reached forward to catch his mother.
"Rey," Leia whispered to the young Jedi as she pulled her around a corner for a moment of safety, "You need to get out of here."
"Not without you," Rey said as tears fell down her face in earnest, "Oh god." She finished, peering around the corner at the battle still ensuing.
"Go Rey," Leia insisted, pressing her hand to the side of the girl's face, "The resistance lives on in you." She whispered before succumbing to her wounds.
Stifling a sob, Rey placed the General reverently on the ground before ducking around the corner to sprint for her life.
Coming out of the vision, Kylo felt the inky tendrils of darkness creeping around his heart. He could feel the blackness stifle out the last piece of light in his heart and was preparing to give in before he heard her voice.
"And here I thought you were meant to be strong," She taunted from inside his head.
"Rey?" He thought, too afraid to voice his hope out loud.
"Yes," She answered, her image taking form before his closed eyelids, "It's me." She was ghostly in appearance, flickering in and out like a broken hologram.
"Are you-" He began to ask, aware that the two Sith lords above him must have been aware of her presence.
"I'm here." She answered, smiling from where he saw her, "I'm here, I'm alright."
"Help me." He whispered aloud, eyes bursting open as he realized that both Sith lords were looking at him with resentment in their eyes.
"She cannot reach you here," Snoke sneered, "Whatever you think you're hearing is merely a projection I have placed in your mind."
"He's wrong," Rey insisted from inside his head, "Stand up Ben, come find me."
Strengthened by her words, Kylo rose from the ground where he had been left kneeling during the onslaught of his tormentors. He could feel Rey's light clearly now, the tendrils of her force signature wrapping around his hand and his heart as if to guide him off of Mustafar.
"She cannot help you!" The Emperor cried, conjuring lightening within one of his palms, "Do not let her light seduce you."
"Always seducing, never helping," Rey griped in his head, her presence becoming more insistent the longer he held on. "Come on Ben, come with me."
"You underestimate her, " Kylo said willing the lands of Mustafar to become green around the edges, "And me." The bridge the three men were standing on began to dissolve into a pasture of soft grass.
"You will never be a Jedi!" Snoke shouted, the edges of his form beginning to fade around the edges.
"I know." Kylo said smirking as he pushed the last of the toxic men from his mind and came face to face with Rey.
"Hey there," She said taking one step towards him. Suddenly he was sprinting towards her with every intention of grabbing her close and never letting her go.
Wrapping his arms around her, he felt her stiffen before relaxing into his hold. Breathing in her scent of sunshine and ocean water, Kylo didn't realize he was sobbing until he found himself kneeling in front of her, arms around her waist, face buried in her abdomen. Falling to the floor in front of him, Rey gently directed his head until his face rested in the crook of her neck. Holding him tightly in her arms, she stroked the space between his shoulder blades.
"She's gone," He mumbled gasping for breath, "She's really gone."
"I'm so sorry," Rey replied, reaching up to stroke his hair. "She loved you so, so much Ben."
"I never told her-" He sighed deeply trying to compose himself, "She didn't know-"
Pulling back to look into his eyes, Rey placed both of her hands gently on his face. "She knew Ben, she knew everything there was to know about you and she still loved you with everything she had."
"They told me you were dead," He said, hands coming to rest on her wrists. "I couldn't find you, I searched for you but you were gone. I thought you-"
"I'm alright," She said, pushing her forehead so it nudged gently against his own, "I had to disconnect myself until I was sure it was safe, I couldn't-" She paused, swallowing hard, "I couldn't focus, all the destruction..."
Pulling her into his arms, he wrapped himself around her until he could be sure she was safe. The grass on the ground around them swayed gently in the wind, their shared force projection pleasant and inviting.
"Where are you?" He whispered into her hair as she nudged her nose across his collarbone, "Out there."
"Naboo," She answered, pulling away to link their hands together, "There's next to nothing left of the resistance, just me and Finn and a few stragglers who ran when they had the chance."
"I will come to you," He promised, reaching up to cup her face with his hand. "There is nothing for me here," Pausing for a moment to look at the rolling greenery he sighed, "It's what my mother would have wanted."
"Come find me, Ben Solo." She whispered, pressing her lips to the corner of his mouth, her force form beginning to fade.
Waking up, Ben found himself in the dimly lit conference room he had walked into ages ago. He could feel the warmth of Rey's light in his soul and the ghost of her kiss on his cheek as he climbed into his ship to follow her wishes.