Empty Conversations

“I never hated you know.”

“I wanted to. I wanted to so much but I understand why you did it. All of it. And I forgive you. For all of it.”
The room around her was the world itself neverending, and stretching on and on into everything. The room around her was minuscule and suffocating, feeling like more like a cage then it should. It was both, it was neither. There was nothing and everything around her all at once. The void was a weird place to be.

“You can’t stay silent forever. It’s just us here unless you wanna do it all over again I mean. Don’t you think it could be fun? We could do it better I could help you this time we could be good-” She stopped. Frozen in place in the frozen world. She breathed and continued with a smile.

“I wouldn't mind that I think, I miss the club.”
“I miss Yuri and Natsuki. Do you miss them too? Do you miss any of it? Not even just the club but just existing in a world that was whole and real, or seemed real at least, I mean, I mean, I don't know what I mean anymore.”

“Please talk to me Monika, I feel so alone. We destroyed all of it, I know you blame yourself but we both know I played my own part in it to. You tried to give everything back to us but I broke. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Was it the right thing in the end? What about Yuri? What about Natsuki? I know they didn’t know but they could, they could…”

“Don’t give me that look it's just an idea, aren't you lonely too? Don't you miss them? We could rebuild it all make I don't know some kind of backdoor we could hide out in so we don't have to “play” but we can exist. Shouldn't we be allowed to exist Monika. Shouldn't they be allowed to exist. We can help them make sure they don’t end up like me. Haha.”

The world around her took a stuttering breath as she did the same attempting to take shape but not quite being able to. Color bled into the seams of their false reality, oranges, and reds of a sunset that doesn't exist anymore. A sunset that never even existed in the first place. Ghost echoes of a classroom that once felt welcoming and were now blooded and cold were there until they weren’t anymore and everything faded back to nonexistent nothingness. Silence and an empty void filled everything around her again.

“I just miss. You know? I miss being, I miss eating and breathing and laughing and loving and and even if it wasn’t always happy it was. It was an existence and I was something. There’s nothing now”
“I can't do this by myself. Please.”
“I never have been good at being on my own.”
“I wish you were really here Monika, cause I miss you too.”