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Leliana wasn’t one to be hung up on the personal cost of something. Being a bard meant trying not to think about whether the man she had killed was a good father. It meant putting whatever charity or goodwill a person had given aside when exposing a dirty family secret. Put it out of mind and do not torture yourself over it. Working for the Divine was much the same. Spy, assassinate, spread the rumor. Visit cities and gauge their worth.
It was only when a young elf-leader of the Inquisition- another strange gift left to her by those above -had begun to question why the cost need be so high that she woke up. Remembered days in the Chantry in Lothering, helping those who needed it. During the Blight when she played music and the whole tavern would relax, years taken off their faces. Elissa’s tired smile as she handed a small girl a sovereign and told her to bring it back to her parents.
How had she forgotten? She had buried it so deep. Rowan, with her startling green eyes, staring up at her, daring her to forget the human cost of this war. Had she fallen so far?
Would Elissa recognize her?
But then, Elissa had been so much the same when they had met. A sour frown, hard cornflower eyes, and rusty hair that hung in her eyes constantly, a furrowed brow. The stiff set to her shoulders, the tight grip on the pommel of her sword. Skin pale as a ghost beneath the splash of freckles across her nose and cheeks. The clip to her voice. Hollows under her eyes. A broken woman. Driven and broken.
The Elissa she found underneath was free with a grin, and had eyes that shone with mirth. A woman who allowed herself to laugh freely-and allowed herself to stop and breath. Gentle hands, and a gentle heart. A quick wit and a quicker temper. Honorable and loyal. Hopelessly in love with her.
“You’re a good person too, Leliana.” Elissa’s first truly kind words to her echoed in her head, recalling the young woman’s tired eyes and warm hands holding her own. A pure heart.
She had worked so hard to reclaim that Elissa. Would she now have to do the same for herself? Or would Elissa have to tear the edges away and pry her out from her shell?
If she comes back, came the traitorous thought-as it always did late at night in the Rookery. It had been three years-before Kirkwall had fallen to pieces-before the Divine died. Before Elissa had kissed her, drinking in deep, and then pressed her lips to Leliana’s hands. Before mounting her horse, the silver of the Wardens shining across her breast, Leliana’s handkerchief tucked in her breastplate. The tired blue of her eyes. The smile that kept her warm at night.
“I’ll be back for you, Songbird. Wait for me, Leliana.”
She had. Through missives sent on scraps of paper-hardly anything at all. Updates on her positions-the raven she sent always staying with her for a week before heading back to wherever Elissa was. Her responses were briefer. She left out her pain-the terrible things happening. She couldn’t distract her. Not now. She clung to the small pages-pressed her fingers against the words with shaky hands. Proof that Elissa was alive. That was all she needed.
The longest letter was the one that was sent after the bloodshed at Adamant and the ball at the Winter’s Palace. It was the first time Leliana dared write more than a few words. The letter was still short compared to the missives that they would send one another when one was away on a mission for their callings. Her fingers shook while holding her pen-unsure what to do with the space was was allowed. Rowan had attached a sizable missive, but Leliana couldn’t bring herself to be so selfish to write something equally as long. Her words were few and tense.
I searched the bodies at Adamant and I did not find you. Please still be alive and safe. I wish you had been at the Winter’s Palace with me. I miss you.
The letter had been slipped in-and two weeks later a Warden-wearing the insignia of Vigil’s Keep came to them, bearing a large parcel and a note from Nathaniel-one Leliana almost laughed reading.
Your idiot of a partner used a Warden falcon to send this to your contact-she had to bring it to us to get it to give up it’s package. She’s still alive and well if she’s making such foolish decisions for the sake of speed. I hope it’s important. Take care, Nightingale.
Elissa had sent them all the information on the Calling she could give without giving up Warden secrets-and all the information on Corypheus she had. As well as a promise of the aid of the Wardens at Vigil’s Keep should they be needed in the final battle.
There had also been the letter tucked away labeled Songbird . Leliana had to set it aside in front of everyone else-instead reading the missive that Elissa had written Rowan. The familiar handwriting-bold and clear-but with the distinctive marks of having been written on the road. The simple, formal writing that she’d watched Elissa write-muttering all the while-in Vigil’s Keep so many times. The final lines were a struggle to get through:
Leliana's greatest strength lies in her faith, and to have Justinia die strikes at her very core. I beg you, if she is faltering, help her find her way back into the light.
Even after all this time-
Elissa knew her too well. She resealed the letter and passed it onto Rowan without a word, and took her own letter to the Rookery with shaking hands. It hadn’t been sealed with the Warden insignia like Rowan’s letter. Instead it was sealed with the Cousland family crest, the surefire proof it was her Warden.
Songbird,
Your Inquisition has certainly grown far more that I expected. You’ve been so vague in your letters-purposefully, I know. You’re too kind to let me know your woes-because you’re worried it will distract me.
Foolish thoughts, Leliana. I always wish to hear from you.
I wish I could be there with you. Dorothea was a noble woman the times I saw her-and I know how much you believed in her vision. I hope your Inquisition can continue her work, and you can solve the problem that Corypheus poses. If I were not so far away, so close to a breakthrough...I would be by your side in a heartbeat. Do not doubt that.
I’m so sorry that my fellow Commander turned out to be insane. I had never fancied Clarel when we’d met. Though, I feel that way about any Orlesian off the bat. Except you, of course--though you’re Fereldan at heart.
I sent instructions to Nathaniel to buckle down and stay put in Fereldan and make sure no one does anything exceptionally foolish. I refuse to let 7 years of work go to waste because of some blighted arsehole who thinks he is a god.
I am safe. I promise.
Mallion died two months ago; poor old boy went out in his sleep. I miss having his snores in camp when I settle down for the night. I kept his collar, and his kaddis warpaint. It’s foolish sentimentality-but without him camp is lonely. I miss him and you in my tent at night. I miss your voice and laughter and your stories. Everything down to the things you hate about yourself-I miss them all.
I wish I could have danced with you at Halamshiral-made all those prattish nobles turn up their noses as the famous Dog Lord of the Blight twirled their Nightingale around the ballroom. We would have caused quite the stir. I would have likely started a duel. Cassandra would have had to be my second-and you would have needed to give me a token for luck.
I get ahead of myself however. I’m too far away to properly follow through with those words.
Soon.
I promise I’ll be back at your side soon, Leliana. The Maker himself couldn’t stop me from coming back to you, dear heart. Stay strong, stay bright.
Yours always and forever,
Elissa
There was a sprig of Andraste’s Grace pressed into the pages.
Leliana had reread the letter so many times-folded it up and tucked it into her tunic to keep beside her-never letting it out of her sight. It went with her to Valence where she and Rowan undid the last of Dorothea’s influence on her. It was with her in the Arbor Wilds. It stayed with her as she awaited the decision on whether or not she would become the next Divine-something all but assured by Rowan’s steadfast support and endorsement. All the while, Elissa’s words stayed close to her heart- Stay strong, stay bright. She relearned her smile, let go of her shield.
Josephine noticed first, followed by Cassandra. The two of them had known her before being the Left Hand changed her almost beyond redemption. They teased, and Cullen, bless his heart, in his own awkward way acknowledged the change with his own grins. She and Rowan began to laugh and talk deep into the night about what could be changed when she took the Sunburst Throne. They talked of mage rights, of elven rights, and how they could work to make the Chantry a proactive force to help those in need, and not a reactionary puppet of religion.
It wasn’t the same as before the Breach-before Kirkwall exploded and the world erupted in chaos-when she and Elissa traded secrets in bed and spent days on the road at a time, making time whenever they could for each other-fighting demons and dawnspawn alike. But it was better. Even when the Breach in the sky reopened and they had little hope of stopping it. When Rowan left with her party-parting with only a hug to each of her advisors-promising to stop this once and for all.
It did stop. Everything does, after all. Even the Blight. And even a darkspawn magister. It all stops and then you’re free.
It was going to be weeks before she would actually be crowned Divine. The world had to heal and thing still needed to be legitimized. It was a reprieve. Leliana spent them training her replacements, grooming Scout Harding to take over as field leader, and Ritts to be the leader in Skyhold. She trusted them enough to not bungle up all her work-and if worse came to worse she could just come back and do the work herself. But she trusted her agents.
Three weeks into the peace, she was having tea with Rowan up in the Rookery, the two of them laughing at something Cullen had sputtered at in the war room that day.
“I love the man, but he can’t take a hint to save his life. I’ve never seen Josephine be so tricky in my life. But then, considering that she also got him out of all his clothes that time we all played Wicked Grace, maybe I shouldn’t be surprised.”
Leliana laughed, “You should have seen her in her early days in Orlais as Ambassador. She was famous for tricking guild leaders into agreeing. You would go into a meeting wanting one thing, and leave thinking you’d gotten it and more. But you’d have gotten none of it.”
“I’m glad she’s on our side, truly.” Rowan paused a moment, and cocked her head to the side, “Have you heard from Cousland lately? I realized that after Halamshiral we hadn’t followed up after she sent her reply.” Rowan’s voice was quiet and her eyes steady as she breached the subject.
Leliana felt the letter pressed against her chest burn, but didn’t bring her hands to it to assure herself it was there as she had in the past. She shook her head, “She was close. That was what she’d told me. She’s alone out there. Which worries me the most. She’s never done well with being alone.”
Rowan nodded, her eyes sad, “Solitude is terrible. I could barely stand the time I spent alone making my way to the Conclave-and when I was dying out in the snow after Haven? It was the most terrifying feeling I’d ever felt. The thought of dying alone-away from everything I knew…” She shivered, “But, it was that fear that made me keep walking, praying to get back. I think if your Hero is as strong as I’ve heard, then there isn’t a doubt in my mind she’ll come back to you.” Rowan smiled, her eyes bright.
Leliana smiled at her friend, nodding to her, “Thank you, Rowan. I appreciat-”
Leliana was cut off by the sound of a horn-specifically the one that signaled a unknown rider was approaching the fortress. The two women stood and quickly went out to the balcony of the Rookery-the view stretched out for miles, and Leliana squinted in the darkness-cursing her eyesight as it failed her to identify the figure in the distance.
Rowan’s eyes slanted low for a second before she began to murmur, “A warhorse-blue and silver? No banner-no company. It’s just one person. A shield is on the horse’s side.”
Leliana’s breath caught in her chest-daring to hope. “Can you see what’s on the shield?”
“Mm...Leaves? No-it’s vines. Creating a...bowl? I think? I’m sorry Leliana they’re moving too quickly too be sure-Leliana?”
“ Elissa.”
Rowan turned to her companion, whose fingers gripped the flagstone tightly, her eyes wide as they watched the horse gallop towards the gates. She turned back towards the gates and cupped her hands to her mouth and sucked in a deep breath.
“Allow them in! They’re a friend of the Nightingale!”
Rowan’s bellows snapped Leliana out of her stupor. Her hands slowly let go of the stone, her heart pounding in her chest. She knew Rowan’s eyes were watching her, but she could only stare at the figure quickly approaching the gates. When she saw the gates begin to open, she came back to her senses, and turned on her heel quickly. She sprinted without a word down the stairs and out in the hall and stopped as she reached the balcony of the staircase out of the keep.
She couldn’t help but feel as though it were a fairy tale-A prince riding up to the castle to claim the hand of his lady love. She’d certainly told enough versions of the tale to recognise it herself. She stood stock still as the warhorse slowed down to a trot as it entered the keep, watching as the night watch gathered warily around the rider wearing Warden colors. The rider was wearing a helmet and cloak, but Leliana could tell already by the set of the shoulders who it was. She watched as the rider’s eyes searched the courtyard before settling on her up above.
She dismounted in a flash and the helmet was tossed to the ground without a second thought. Leliana’s eyes blurred with tears and she was sure that some sort of noise left her throat, but all she heard was the low and strong call of the other half of her soul.
“ Leliana. ”
She was certain her name had never sounded more beautiful. Her legs unlocked and she began to run down the stairs, watching only Elissa as the soldier began her own run towards the spymaster. They collided with such a force that Elissa was bowled over onto the ground. Leliana would have worried had the woman not immediately begun to laugh-a deep and warm sound that Leliana hadn’t realized she missed as much as she did in that moment.
She blinked away the tears to lock eyes with Elissa-and sucked in a breath at the sight. Bright cornflower eyes, shining with tears, and a grin that threatened to split her face. Her arms were secure, and Leliana realised she hadn’t felt any pain in the fall-Elissa had braced her. Rusty hair that certainly hadn’t been trimmed in quite some time was splayed across her brow, the rest pulled back in a braid laying on the ground behind them. The face before her was older by more years than they’d been apart, but every freckle on the face, the tilt to the grin, the way her eyes glowed with happiness-
It was like coming home.
Her lips crashed into Elissa’s without another thought, and the Warden’s arms tightened ever more around her, until Leliana wasn’t sure where she began and Elissa ended. She didn’t mind. Time didn’t seem to have a meaning-nor did the laughter coming from Bull in the yard. It wasn’t until Leliana heard Cassandra clear her throat that she pulled away only ever so slightly.
“Maker’s balls- Cassandra Pentaghast, I haven’t seen my Songbird in years and you have to ruin the moment.” Elissa groaned, before laughing again. She looked past Leliana to where the Seeker was standing, “You may be the Right Hand, but you certainly aren’t lending me a hand here.”
“Be that as it may, the ground must not be the most comfortable place for you.” Cassandra responded, and when Leliana tore her eyes from Elissa’s face to look at her long time teammate she saw a gentle smile and relief on her face. “I’m sure we can find room for you and your steed here, can’t we, Leliana?”
“Yes, of course.” Leliana gently lifted herself from the ground, and tugged her lover up after her with a small grunt, “That would be better. I was simply swept up in the moment.”
“Was I the only one genuinely overcome with emotion?” Elissa grumbled, swiping the heel of her palm over her eyes to dry her tears, “I am hurt.” She continued with a cheeky grin and a squeeze of Leliana’s hand.
“Tsk, that’s silly to say, ma cherié,” Leliana chided, eyes overbright. “You can leave Florian with Cassandra. She can take him to Master Dennet, can’t she?”
“I feel I have little choice in the matter, but…” Cassandra leaned down to pick up the helm that Elissa had dropped, “Of course I can. And I will.”
“Thank you, Cassandra. Honorable as always.” Elissa took the helm from the Seeker with a grateful nod and lifted her saddlebags off her charger’s back. “Florian will behave himself, I’m sure. He’s too tired to posture.” She gave her warhorse a firm pat on the neck, “Treat him well?”
“Of course.”
Leliana gave Elissa’s hand a tug and the Warden turned from watching her horse trot off back to her partner. The Warden’s grin faded into something softer, her lips quirked in a tired smile. She willingingly let the bard pull her through Skyhold, going slowly to allow Elissa to whistle at the sight of the grand hall. She was grateful that her compatriots did not stop her on her way to her chambers-though she did see Dorian freeze Sera’s feet to the grand hall as the elf began to charge forward.
“This place is something else...who would have thought there was a fortress in the middle of the Frostbacks?
“Certainly not us. We were lead here by a…” Leliana struggled to think of a descriptor for their wayward Fade expert. “An expert in such things.” She listened to Elissa chuckle from behind her and squeezed her hand to be sure she was really there.
The Fade had been cruel to her in the past.
“It’s magnificent. Far grander than the Keep. Though if you tell Nate that I’ll deny it strenuously.”
“I’ll take it to the grave, then.” Leliana answered as she rounded the corner back up through the Rookery. A quick glance around told her that Rowan had made herself scarce, but had the foresight to send up a pitcher of wine and some bread and cheese. The candles and lanterns had also been lit around the open space, lending a warm glow to the normally so dark area.
“This is where you work, Songbird?” Elissa murmured, and Leliana let go of her hand to allow the warrior a chance to look around. As she put her saddlebags she took a few moments of critical inspection, then the Warden nodded with a grin. “It suits you. You can see everything from up here. Which is why you chose it, no?”
Leliana smiled, making her way towards the railing that overlooked the library below and even the rotunda that Solas used to paint in. “I could hear everyone studying and gossiping as well. Sir Pavus is a remarkable gossip, and between him and Sera I knew everything I needed to about the Inquisitor’s daily life. Everything else came from my birds and my men.”
“You've created an empire here.” Elissa marveled, “Who needs an Inquisitor when you have the full attention of Leliana, Nightingale and Left Hand of the Divine?” Her voice was light, a low chuckle following her words. Leliana treasured the sound, letting it sink into her for a few precious moments.
“It will be Divine Victoria soon,” Leliana whispered, her heart clenching at the thought. The Divine had always been a chaste figure, one who was above the base urges of man. Her Right and Left hands never had to swear off love, but the Divine…
Had she gotten Elissa back, only to lose her to her ambition?
“I knew an absolute prat of a girl named Victoria when I was younger. Used to torment the mabari pups in the kennels and lead on the young Knights.” Elissa sniffed, turning her nose up, “Always hated her.”
“What happened to her?”
Elissa sniggered and Leliana's heart felt full at the sight of the grin on Elissa’s face and the joy that shine through. It had been so long since she’d seen her partner act her age.
“Her family ended up on the wrong side of history. Her father supported Howe and Loghain, and after we disgraced them...well, let's just say they own a hovel out in the Hinterlands and she couldn't charm her way into any marriage now.”
Leliana smirked, “And here I thought you were incapable of such pettiness, cheriè.”
Elissa turned her eyes on Leliana and Leliana felt her heart flutter at the adoration pinning her down. “Ah, but I learned from the best. Between Morrigan and Nate, I’ve learned the joys of being as petty as I can be over things like that.” Her smile grew soft, and she reached out with a gloved hand to run her fingers across Leliana’s cheekbone, “I‘ve got to make up for being so selfless for the past twelve years.”
Leliana captured Elissa’s hand on the way down, studying the cracks in the leather and the scuffs across the knuckles and seams that spoke of heavy use in fights. She remained silent for a moment, listening to the sounds of Skyhold winding down for the night. The guards on the outposts would be changing in another candle tick, but now that the hubbub caused by Elissa’s arrival had died down, the grounds were quite peaceful.
“And how would you like to be selfish?” Leliana finally asked, raising her eyes to meet Elissa’s, noting the overbright quality to them.
Elissa let out a shaky laugh, bringing her other hand to complete the set between them, before shaking her head. There was a pregnant pause as Elissa’s shoulders seemed to be pressed downward. “I was hoping I might get to truly be with you, Leliana, before I have to give you up to the Chantry forever.” Her words were hoarse, and Elissa’s eyes blinked rapidly to fight back the tears Leliana dreaded seeing.
“Elissa-” Leliana wanted to comfort her-to tell her that the Chantry could have everything but this -but the words stuck in her throat as Elissa shook her head.
“No, Leliana, I know. This is what you want to do. What you were meant to do. And I’ll stand beside you no matter what happens but I-” Leliana felt her heart crumble at the sight of Elissa’s strong shoulders slumping beneath her light armor and cloak. “ In my heart burns an unquenchable flame... I want to have the you I know, and not Victoria, if I have the chance.”
“Oh, Elissa,” Leliana moved quickly to close the small distance between them and pulled her into a tight hug, ignoring the discomfort that Elissa’s armor caused. As the Warden choked on a sob into her shoulder, she continued, “You will always have me as me. I will always be your Leliana.”
Elissa’s arms squeezed her tightly, and for a brief moment the sensation of Elissa’s arms around her, armor digging into her, brought her back to the final moments of the Blight. To when Elissa, covered in darkspawn blood and dirt, stumbled over to her with her arms open. How they both smelt of death and steel, but they held each other for as long as Elissa’s strength lasted her. How Leliana felt her heart bursting with love for this selfless girl who had resolved to give every bit of herself to a cause she had no belief in when she started.
So much had changed since then. But the way that Elissa’s arms slowly loosened around her, the warrior raising her head to meekly look down at her in embarrassment, hadn’t at all. The small smile that caused her eyes to crinkle slightly hadn’t changed. The way she oh so deliberately leaned down to kiss Leliana had only become more dear in its absence.
Elissa pulled back from the kiss with a worried look to her brow, a small frown on her face. “I wouldn’t want to ruin your prospects, Songbird.”
Leliana shook her head, cupping Elissa’s cheeks, “The whole of Thedas has already judged me for my sins, Elissa. I bear them as all men do.” She stroked the crest of Elissa’s cheekbone, her smile growing, “You are nothing for me to be ashamed of.” The back of her mind tickled her with the thought that Grand Clerics and Mothers would be aghast at the revelation, that maybe this would cause everything to collapse that she had worked toward. But one look into Elissa’s eyes-hopeful and full of adoration-and she told the back of her mind to shove it.
“What does that mean?”
“It means that you will be standing by my side in whichever way we choose.” Her fingers tucked a few errant bangs back behind Elissa’s ear, her smile widening, “Love is the greatest gift the Maker can give someone, and the Divine leads by example, does she not? Why not show them a love that has endured and cannot be toppled?”
Leliana watched as Elissa’s brow shifted to shock, her mouth dropping open as she attempted to find the right words. Sounds stopped and started almost in an instant as Elissa’s eyes widened, as she attempted to process what Leliana had told her. In another moment her shock morphed into elation and she let out a loud laugh.
Leliana let out a startled yelp as her feet left the ground and she was spun around in the air. After a moment though, it transformed into laughter, mingling with the warm laughter of her Warden. It had been so long since she had felt so light, so free.
When Elissa finally put her back on the ground, she was grinning madly, a bewildered look of awe on her face. “People will protest, you know that right?”
“Yes.”
“The Grand Clerics are going to stage a revolt , Songbird.”
“ Good. ”
Elissa’s loud bark of laughter as she tipped her head back was like coming home. It reminded her of long nights in one of their tents, enjoying the simplicity of being together in the face of the Blight. Of jokes at Alistair’s expense being exchanged between their band of misfits, and counter jokes at Elissa’s being tossed back and forth.
Leliana caught sight of the small scar at the base of Elissa’s neck, a parting gift from an arrow that got too close, one of many close calls during the Blight. She remembered the way Elissa used to shiver when she kissed it. So she leaned into Elissa’s breastplate and gently pressed her lips to the mark, marveling at the warmth beneath her lips.
Elissa’s laughter died in her throat in exchange for a choked sound of surprise. Her hands fluttered at Leliana’s waist, before holding onto her tighter. Leliana peeked up at Elissa’s face, which was splashed with a generous shade of red, embarrassment clear as day.
“Leliana, I-” Elissa’s words nearly died in her throat, and Leliana moved her head far enough back to lock eyes with Elissa’s, which sang of nervousness. “I haven’t-I mean-” She paused, attempting to gather her thoughts before beginning again, “It’s been so long. And I haven’t spent a great deal of time around people lately. I’m...” She ducked her head, “I’m not sure I can do that tonight.”
Leliana’s heart clenched at the thought of Elissa traveling alone for so long that even this was almost too much. She smoothed her hands over the clasp of Elissa’s cloak, fiddling with it as she waited for Elissa to look at her again. She smiled up at the warrior with kind eyes.
“I’ve waited so long already, what’s a little while longer? You’re by my side now, ma cherié. That’s more than I ever hoped for.”
Elissa bit her lip at that, ducking her head again, taking in a shuddering breath. “I don’t deserve you, Leliana.” She whispered reverently, “You’re too good to me.”
“Oh? The Hero of Fereldan, Conqueror of the Fifth Blight, and the Commander of the Grey of Fereldan doesn’t deserve a former bard turned spymaster?” Leliana’s lips quirked up in a small smirk, “If anything, I don’t deserve you .”
Elissa snorted at that, rolling her eyes, “Maker, let’s not get into this nonsense. Fine, I get it. I’m being melodramatic.” She squared her shoulders, standing as tall as any soldier, “I’ll stop falling into those dreadful cliches Tethras writes in his stories.”
“Good, you’ve accomplished too much to wallow, Elissa.” Leliana watched as Elissa’s eyes softened before turning down to her hands. Slowly and deliberately, she peeled her gloves off, flexing her fingers in the night chilled air. Leliana felt her breath catch in her throat as ever so slowly Elissa’s fingers reached up and pulled her cowl down slowly. The fingers shook against the fabric, Elissa’s eyes intent as she focused on the sensations.
As Elissa’s hands came to rest on her shoulders, the warmth of them sinking even through her armor, Leliana hastened to take off her own gloves, marveling at the intimacy the act had. Years ago they freely touched with fingers only just beginning to acquire scars and calluses. She’d delighted in the warmth of Elissa’s hands on her face, the feeling of copper hair slipping through her fingers.
Now though, she moved slowly, watching as Elissa’s eyes followed Leliana’s hands to her cheeks. Elissa hissed at the contact, flinching for a moment before relaxing into the warmth of Leliana’s hands. Without her gloves, Leliana could feel the wind dried skin, the warmth of blood pumping beneath her fingers, and trace the lines of freckles with her thumbs. She was really there, really standing in the Rookery, with the woman who had saved her all those years ago.
The Maker had finally granted her reprieve.
Elissa’s own hands, impossibly warm, framed her face. Leliana could feel the calluses scrap against her cheek in a motion so familiar she nearly shivered at thought of how long it had been since the last time it’d occured. She felt the slight tug at her scratch at the sides of her head as those strong fingers made their way into her hair.
Elissa sucked in a shaky breath, as if the act of actually touching her without the gloves was what proved this wasn’t a dream.
“I’ve been afraid, ever since I left the Deeproads in the West that I was dreaming. That I died down there, and that this-the cure, me coming home, all of it--” She choked on the words, voice thick with emotion, “This really isn’t a dream. I lived. I did it.”
Leliana watched her Warden, impossibly brave, shuddered with a long breath, eyes closed. It was a long moment, one she couldn’t break, for fear of proving Elissa wrong. And then Elissa’s eyes opened, and her heart began to sing at the smile on her face.
“I’m free.”
Now she couldn’t help herself. Leliana’s fingers dove into Elissa’s hair now, pulling her down for a kiss so full of heat she felt like she could burst. This was the reward they’d both earned, Maker be damned. The rest of the world could hang so she could keep this moment forever. Elissa’s shining smile and beautiful eyes, the smell of armor and travel, and the taste of her Warden on her lips.
They’d earned this. They would enjoy this for as long as they could, and damn those who’d say they shouldn’t.